CHAPTER 17
KILLIAN
Iwitness the exact moment Daisy shuts down.
When her eyes reopen, they’re hollow. Like a switch has been flipped, her entire demeanour changes. Her shoulders tense up, the air around us thickens and the emotion that was present in her voice only seconds ago, gone.
She stares through me as I search her face for any sign of the woman from five seconds ago, but she’s long gone.
Concern laced with fear gnaws at my chest at just how easily she erected the walls around herself within a matter of seconds. The woman looking at me now isn’t one I’m familiar with.
I’ve heard people talk about the light going out in someone’s eyes before, but I’ve never bore witness to it happening. Until just now.
“I should go.” Daisy twists her keys in the ignition, the car sputtering to life beneath us and I panic. I don’t want her to leave yet. I can’t get out of this car and let her drive away with that look being the last thing I see on her face.
Daisy flinches as I reach out, wrapping my hand around hers. “Come somewhere with me.”
“What?”
“Take a walk with me,” I reiterate.
Her eyes flit around the shadows surrounding the cabin. “Where?”
“You’ll see.”
I see the hesitation in her eyes as she stares at me. “Kill-”
“Do you trust me?” I ask, my thumb rubbing gentle circles over the hand still clasped beneath mine.
Her eyes move from mine down to the contact and then back. “Yeah,” she whispers and my heart soars at the sound of the single word.
“Good. Do you have a jacket?”
She nods, reaching into the back seat and producing a brown wool coat, pulling it on and tying the belt around her waist.
I wait until she’s turned the car off before climbing out and rounding the hood to open her door for her. With a shake of her head, she accepts my outstretched hand and climbs out, clicking the locks once I’ve closed the door behind her.
With reluctant footsteps, she follows me around the side of the house and beneath the thick cover of trees. Twigs snap and leaves crunch beneath our feet as I lead us farther into darkness.
Suddenly, a dim light illuminates the ground, and I look over my shoulder. Daisy gives me a sheepish grin as she uses her phone as a flashlight, and a small laugh escapes me.
I’ve spent so many years trekking this exact path, I could do it with my eyes closed.
“Where are we going?” She asks just as the trees give way to a clearing. The sound of water drowns out the small gasp that escapes Daisy and I hold my breath as I wait for her inevitable question.
“Is that…” she runs her hand over the mixture of letters and numbers carved into the oak tree.
“Yeah.” My voice is thick as I come to stand behind her.
“So, this is…” she spins to face me.
“Where we had our first date,” I finish for her.
And where I proposed. The unsaid sentence hangs heavily in the frigid air between us, mixing with her caramel scent and it takes every ounce of willpower I can conjure up not to reach out and pull her against my chest.
Tears glisten in the moonlight as she stares up at me. In this very moment, there’s no pain between us.
It’s just us.
Without thinking, I bring my hand to her face, tucking her hair behind her ear as I stroke her cheek, rosy from the cold bite in the air.
“I built the house because a small part of me always hoped that one day, you’d come back to me. I spent years putting every cent I earned into making our home, just in case you changed your mind.” With a shrug, I add, “you never did.”
A lone tear drops from her eye, and I watch it roll down her face before catching it with my thumb. I give her a sad smile. “I thought if I could give you everything you ever dreamed of, then maybe I would be enough. But I was wrong.”
Daisy brings a hand up to cover mine, leaning her face into my touch. “You were always enough, Killian. It was never about you.”
Closing my eyes, I drop my head and nod, accepting defeat. My eyes burn behind my eyelids and the ache in my chest deepens as the realisation that I may never get the answers I need hits me.
I’m so tired of wondering. I’ve spent so many years driving myself to insanity with the whys.
I tried so many times to get in contact with her if only just to get some kind of clarity.
But it wouldn’t have mattered. Because she’s always going to keep her secrets.
And when all is said and done, I’m not sure that trust between us can ever be rebuilt.
Suddenly, what happened in the car earlier makes perfect sense.
Only this time, it’s me who shuts down.
Keeping my eyes closed, I pull her hand to my mouth, place a soft kiss against her palm and finally look at her.
“We should go.”
***
My palms are damp with sweat as I climb the steps to Daisy’s house. When my feet hit the landing of the porch, I take a few deep breaths and attempt to shake off the nerves that have my stomach locked in a vice.
I don’t know why I’m so nervous.
We’ve been together for over two years, but I still get butterflies every time I see her.
The first time I laid eyes on Daisy Bennett she was a shy seven-year-old girl knocking on my front door to invite my little sister out to play. She had squeaked out the question with red cheeks and something inside of my eight-year-old heart had immediately softened toward her.
I was a typical older brother, annoyed and exasperated by his clingy little sister wanting to tag along with him and his friends anywhere they went, but after Daisy came along, I found myself hoping that Bella would ask to join us, just so I could be around her.
It took me nine years to gain the courage to ask her out.
While everyone else my age was partying and hooking up with girls in closets during a game of seven minutes in heaven, I was pining after my little sister’s best friend. Everyone knew how I felt about Daisy, and I got shit for it constantly but there is not a single bone in my body that regrets it.
That thought is only reinforced when the front door swings open and my girl is in front of me.
Her wavy hair is pulled back and secured at the back of her head with a pale pink bow to match the colour of the dress that clings to every curve of her body.
As usual, her makeup is minimal, only a light layer of mascara and lip gloss that has my eyes drawn to her lips.
When her face lights up with a wide smile, my mouth goes dry, and the breath seizes in my lungs.
Fuck. She’s so beautiful it hurts.
I clear my throat and lean forward, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Hey, angel. Missed you.”
“Missed you, too,” she replies, accepting my outstretched hand. Her dainty fingers lace with mine and I pull her hand up to my mouth, placing another kiss there before leading her to my truck.
“Where are we going, anyway?”
I smirk. “It’s a surprise.”
She groans. “You know I don’t like surprises, Killian.”
“You will like this one, I promise.”
I help her into the truck and fasten her seatbelt. She shakes her head at my overprotectiveness, but I ignore it, stealing a quick kiss before closing the door and rounding the truck to the driver’s side.
The drive is short and familiar, and it doesn’t take Daisy long to figure out exactly where we’re going. Her head swings in my direction. “Are we going to our spot?”
I say nothing, the smile tugging at my lips answering her question instead.
Our spot is the place I took her on our first date.
There’s a creek that runs along the edge of Rosewater Creek.
You wouldn’t know it was there if you weren’t looking for it.
It’s nestled behind a thick forest of trees that open up into a clearing.
Farther into town there is a dirt road that takes you to a picnic area where families take their children, but I found a more secluded spot a mile down creek next to an old oak tree one night when I was trying to escape the shitshow at home.
I had sat there that night, letting the sound of the running water soothe the storm warring inside of me after wrestling a bottle of whiskey from my mother’s weathered fingers. It became sacred to me, sort of like my safe place where I could hide when things got too much.
When I finally plucked up the courage to ask Daisy out, I knew I wanted to take her there. I wanted to share that sacred part of me with her. It became our spot after that.
I turn off between the trees, my truck bouncing over the uneven terrain beneath us and my earlier nerves come creeping back in.
I have a reason for bringing us out here tonight. My thigh tingles from the velvet box tucked against it as if reminding me it’s there and I tighten my hands on the steering wheel.
The thicket of trees open up into a large area of empty land, and I park the truck before climbing out and helping Daisy down.
“Let’s go, angel.”
I’m grateful for the shade from the August sun as we navigate the forest. Daisy’s steps are careful and delicate as she walks beside me, completely unaware of the fact that I’m having an internal meltdown.
I knew from a young age that I wanted to marry Daisy. There was never a doubt in my mind about who my wife would be. I’ve just been waiting for the right moment to ask her.
I hear her quiet gasp come from behind me as the clearing comes into view and I can’t help the smile that forms on my lips.
Rose petals litter the ground in front of the oak tree, spelling out the question that has been burning on my tongue since the moment my lips met hers for the first time.
Daisy halts in her tracks and I turn to face her. A small hand comes up to cover her mouth as glistening eyes flick between me and the words on the ground.
I pull the box from my pocket and sink to one knee at her feet.
“Daisy. I have loved you since I was eight years old. I’ve never wanted anything in this life more than I want you. I want your good days, your bad days and every day in between. You’re my best friend and I never want to know a life where you don’t exist. Will you marry me, angel?”
I have barely finished the question before she’s leaping at me. Her arms wrap around my neck, and her tears soak my cheek as she nods against me.
“I love you so much. Of course I’ll marry you.”
***
Something cold settles in my chest as I watch her car pull out of my driveway. With the realisation comes a strange calmness. Almost as if my body is telling me, it’s time.
It’s time to move on from Daisy Bennett.