CHAPTER 25 #2
I got home a little over an hour ago, soaked from the rain and cold to the bone after slugging my ass off all day. All I wanted to do was take a shower, eat something and pass out on my bed until the storm had passed and damage control had begun.
Unfortunately, my mother had different plans.
I arrived home to find her propped up at the kitchen table, a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. Her eyes narrowed when they landed on me, a sneer twisting her weathered face and I was immediately on alert.
Nothing good can come from Clara Ashby when she’s half a bottle deep.
I made the decision right there that food wasn’t all that important. So, for my own sanity, I retreated straight for the shower instead.
Once I washed off the scent of horses and damp, I dried off, threw on some light grey shorts and climbed into bed, my body exhausted from the physical labour.
I readjust my pillows behind me and turn up the volume again, as my mom stumbles toward my bedroom door. The sound of glass scraping along the wooden banister has me gritting my teeth, annoyance flaring inside me.
She mumbles something about my father being a waste of space as she approaches, the scent of stale vodka and smoke following her and seeping through the gap in my door.
I tense as her staggered footsteps pause outside my door, waiting for her to bring her wrath inside the haven that is my bedroom.
It wouldn’t be the first time. My mother’s favourite past time is blaming me for the fact her husband left her.
She’ll blame everyone but herself, when in reality he left because he was just as sick of her shit as the rest of us.
I’m not mad at my dad for leaving. I’m just mad that he left us behind when he did. He left me alone to deal with her destructive ways. I shouldered the burden of taking care of my little sister and protecting her from the hateful words and abusive actions of a bitter woman.
I was still a child myself, having to grow a skin thick enough that her insults would bounce off me. I had to protect Bella.
I finally release a breath when her movements continue past my door and down the hall toward her own, the sound of it slamming behind her rattling the thin walls.
I’m so fucking sick of this shit.
The moment I’m old enough and have enough money behind me, I’m getting out of this godforsaken house and never looking back.
I would have been gone a long time ago if it weren’t for the fact I’m not legally old enough to take custody of my sister. She’s only a year younger than me, but a year can feel like a long time when you’re living in hell. And I could never leave Bella alone here with her.
I used to spend most nights at Noah’s house. His parents have always made it very clear that their door is always open for me. That I have a place in their home if I ever need it. And I used to use that to my advantage any chance I got.
But lately, something has been keeping me at home.
And that something comes in the form of unruly curls and chocolate eyes.
Daisy Bennett.
My sister’s best friend.
And the subject of every one of my fantasies.
I pined after Daisy for years before I finally worked up the courage to ask her out on a date.
At first, I held back because she was my sister’s friend and in turn, that meant she was off-limits.
But then, because I have zero chill whatsoever when I’m around Daisy, my sister picked up on my crush and gave me the greenlight to ask her out under the condition I never do anything to hurt her.
But still, I held back.
Because the curly-haired beauty is so far out of my league it’s not even funny.
At seventeen years old, I stand at barely six-foot with no muscle to speak of. I’m all arms and legs while Daisy is all curves and confidence. I’m full of hatred and trauma from a shitty upbringing where she’s sunshine and carefree.
What could a girl like her possibly see in someone like me?
But even still, I said fuck it, threw caution to the wind and asked her out anyway. And thankfully, she said yes.
We’ve been dating for a little over a month now and she’s been spending more and more time at my house. Granted, she’s here with my sister, but a part of me is giddy with the thought that maybe she’s here for me too.
My sound of my bedroom door creaking open has my head snapping towards it, panic rising, expecting to see my mother on the other side, but my panic quickly forms into a sly smile as Daisy pokes her head in, her eyes searching me out.
“You lost, angel?” I mutter, keeping my voice low so the she-devil next door doesn’t hear me.
Her usually shy smile at the use of her nickname is nowhere to be found as Daisy steps fully into the bedroom, her arms slack at her side as she shakes her head. Her eyes dart to the windows nervously as the first rumble of thunder sounds in the distance.
I frown, sitting up against my headboard. “You okay?”
Daisy shakes her head again. “I don’t like storms,” she whispers, her voice quiet and timid.
I pull my quilt back and pat the bed. “Come here.”
On quiet feet, she tiptoes across the room and climbs in beside me.
Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, I pull her into me as tremors wrack her body.
She lays her head on my naked chest, her soft skin warm against mine.
Her breathing is choppy, her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace as a lone tear escapes her eye and rolls down her cheek before landing on my chest.
“Why don’t you like storms?” I ask, brushing a curl out of her face and tucking it behind her ear.
She shrugs, sniffling. “I don’t know. There’s not really a valid reason why I’m afraid. I’m just afraid. It’s so stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” I reassure her. “Everyone has something they’re afraid of. Like Noah for example. He’s deathly afraid of daddy long legs. You should see him. He screams like a girl when one of them things find their way into the barn.”
She chuckles quietly, her body starting to relax ever so slightly.
It makes me feel good, that I can offer her some sort of comfort in her time of need, so I continue.
“Or Bella. She’s afraid of bees. She could be mid conversation with the mayor, but if a bee comes flying at her, she will let out a blood curdling scream and run for the hills, modesty be damned. ”
Another laugh leaves her. “I’ve witnessed that first hand.”
“And then there’s the germophobes. Have you ever met one?
We went to school with this one guy, Michael.
He carried hospital grade hand sanitiser with him everywhere.
He’d clean every doorhandle before touching it.
And if you touched him?” I shake my head, amused.
“He’d pull that bottle out of his pocket right in front of your face and squirt a dollop of it right where you touched. ”
Her eyes meet mine, filled with humour. “Really?”
I nod with a chuckle of my own. “Yup. Would make you feel like you were dirty. I used to enjoy watching from afar as people would get offended and storm away from him.”
A flash of light illuminates my bedroom through the shutters and Daisy freezes, her eyes squeezing shut as a loud rumble follows. I pull her tighter against me, waiting for the shivers to subside.
“What are you afraid of?” Daisy asks, her voice shaky and eyes pleading for distraction as I look down at her beautiful face.
You.
I’m afraid of you.
I shrug. “I’m not sure,” I lie.
She raises a brow and sits up so that she can look down at me, her anxiety over the storm suddenly forgotten. “Come on. You must be afraid of something.”
I look away, pretending to focus on the movie playing. “I’m not afraid of anything.”
A gasp from my left draws my attention back to her and I can’t stop my eyes from dragging down the length of her body.
I was too concerned about the fear on her face when she first entered my bedroom to take in the flimsy pyjama shorts and cropped tank top she’s wearing.
It ends just above her belly button, leaving the bottom half of her sun-kissed stomach exposed.
She kneels beside me, causing the shorts to ride up her thighs, tightening around the curve of her hips.
My mouth goes dry, and I yank my eyes back up to hers.
“You’re lying,” Daisy smirks, but I just stare at her, my brain not firing on all cylinders as my eyes fight to drop back down.
What were we talking about?
I wet my lips, searching for a response but coming up entirely empty as Daisy swings one of her soft thighs over my waist and settles in my lap, straddling me.
Oh, fuck.
My hands move of their own accord, landing on her hips and gripping her tightly as I will my dick to stay down. The last thing I need right now is to scare her away with my teenage horniness. We’re nowhere near ready for that yet.
If Daisy can feel my growing arousal, she doesn’t let it show as she smiles down at me. “What are you afraid of?”
Oh right. That’s what we were talking about.
I swallow thickly, debating on whether I should tell her the truth or come up with another lie to appease her. But when I look up at her again, at the way she looks above me, her face finally relaxed and open, I decide that I will never lie to this girl.
Clearing my throat, I relax against my pillows, my thumb drawing small circles on the bare skin above her shorts. And then I admit something that I’ve never admitted to anyone before. “I’m afraid that I’ll end up like my parents.”
A beat of silence follows the admission, surprise taking over Daisy’s expression. “What do you mean?” she whispers, a slight furrow in her brow.
“I never want to be like them, Dais. I haven’t spoken to my dad in years. My mom is a drunk who should never have had kids. Their marriage crumbled long before my dad left, and my mom decided all the answers to her problems would be found in the bottom of a bottle.”
Her attention is locked on me, and I swallow again, the intensity of the moment making my skin hot.
The storm rages at full force outside now, but Daisy doesn’t notice as she waits for me to continue.
“I want to have a family someday. I want a wife and kids. I want to be able to prove to myself that the cycle can be broken, and that I can be the better man despite my upbringing. I want a home where my children feel safe and loved and never dread coming back to. But I’m afraid I’ll never have any of that. I’m afraid I don’t deserve it.”
Her hands cup my face, her eyes soft and filled with emotion. “You deserve all of that, Killian. And you’ll have it.”
The corner of my mouth curves into a smile. “You think so?”
Daisy nods. “I know so.”
I cock a brow in challenge. “Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?”
She gives me a ‘duh’ look. “Because I’ll be your wife. Why else?”
A surprised laugh startles out of me. “Marriage talk already? Damn, angel. We’ve only been dating a month.”
She rolls her eyes, her own laugh spilling from her. “I’m just a girl who knows what she wants.”
“Is that right?” I tease, all while my heart goes crazy in my chest.
I’m only seventeen, but I’ve been obsessed with this girl for years. If I could choose anyone to be my future wife, I’d choose her every time.
Daisy nods, her hips shifting against me and causing my stomach to tense. “Mm-hmm. You’re stuck with me now. No give backs.”
“Well, in that case.” I sit up, bringing my chest flush against hers as I wrap a hand into her curls, tangling them around my fist before my mouth descends on hers and I seal my promise with a kiss.