CHAPTER 26
DAISY
You can ask anyone who knows me what my biggest fear is, and they would all tell you the same thing.
Thunderstorms.
It’s not a new fear. Or a fear I’ve kept to myself. No. I’ve been afraid of them since I was a child. And there isn’t any particular reason as to why I’m so afraid of them.
The first time I recall experiencing a thunderstorm, I had been six or seven years old.
It was late. My childhood bedroom was dark, until all of a sudden this burst of light came through the windows, highlighting all the dark corners and creating haunting shadows across the room that had sent my young brain into overdrive.
The deafening boom that had followed the flash of light had me throwing off the covers and making a run for my parent’s bedroom.
I was convinced there was a monster trying to gain access into my bedroom to take me away. It’s silly, I know. But something about the fear I felt that night has always stuck with me, even as an adult who knows there is no such thing as monsters.
Yet, every time I hear the telltale rumble in the distance or see a flash of light in the sky, a sweat breaks out across my entire body, and I freeze.
Which is where I’m at now.
On my bathroom floor, with my knees held to my chest and my head buried in my hands as I try to calm my erratic breathing.
It’s pathetic. I’m pathetic.
I’m a twenty-four-year-old woman having a panic attack over a thunderstorm.
Why am I in the bathroom, you ask? Because it has no windows.
Yup.
Pathetic.
Droplets of sweat run down my back, mimicking the rain rolling down the windows of my bedroom, yet my whole body is wracked with violent shivers.
I silently curse Bella for choosing tonight of all nights to stay late at work. And I curse Olivia for still being in London, where it’s probably not storming at all.
I have no one to call. I can’t call Savannah and ask her to drive over here at seven months pregnant. And even if I could, my phone is in the kitchen, and you couldn’t pay me all the money in the world to move from this exact spot right now.
Another boom rattles the windows, making me jump and causing me to curl further into myself. I keep my eyes on the door, waiting for the crack underneath to light up.
“One, two, three.” Lightening illuminates the gap, and I whimper.
Did I mention the fucking power went out?
My pulse thumps in my ears, fear gripping my heart in a chokehold and I swear I hear my name being called somewhere in the distance.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I tell myself it’s just my mind playing tricks on me as I hear my name again, followed by three heavy bangs.
I lift my head and frown.
“Dais?” The voice calls again, sounding closer this time.
I recognise that voice.
“Killian?” I call out, although it comes out more of a whimper.
Like something out of a horror movie, the bathroom door swings open, revealing a dark figure right as the sky lights up once again and I barely hold back the scream bubbling up in my throat.
“Jesus, Dais,” Killian mutters as he sinks to his knees next to me. He pulls me into his arms; his woodsy scent mixed with the smell of rain immediately relaxing me for the first time since the storm started.
Killian lifts me off the ground, holding me close to his chest as he carries me through the dark house and sinks onto the couch with me in his lap.
“I’m gonna put this blanket around you to warm you up, okay?” His voice is a soft, comforting whisper against my ear and I nod against him, soaking up the warmth from having his arms around me.
“How long have you been sitting on the floor in there?” He asks, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I…” I clear my throat. “I don’t know.”
Another roar of thunder sounds from beyond the windows, and I flinch. Killian holds me tighter, pressing his lips to my head. “Shh, it’s okay. I got you.”
Tears well in my eyes at the softness in his tone, the care in his hold. It’s… everything I needed in this moment.
“T-thank you,” I murmur, my voice shaking.
“For what?” he whispers.
“For being here.”
He lifts my chin with his thumb and forefinger, bringing my eyes to his. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else, angel.”
I search his face in the dark for any sign of insincerity but all I find is total honesty in his expression. “Tell me something,” I say, my voice quiet, timid.
“What do you want to know?” He asks, keeping his hold on my chin.
I wet my dry lips, and his eyes briefly catch on the motion before returning to mine. “Anything.”
He thinks for a moment before admitting, “I threatened to fire one of my oldest employees right before I came here.”
I pull back ever so slightly. “What? Why?”
Killian blows out a rough breath and drags his free hand down his face as I observe him.
The frown lines on his forehead seem more prominent tonight than the last time I saw him.
And as I watch him mull over my question, I notice the deep set to his shoulders, almost as though he’s carrying the weight of the world upon them.
“There’s this kid. Jaxon. A few months back, he approached me in the street while I was working and asked me for a job.
He’s young. Not even in his twenties yet.
My first thought was, this kid is brave, you know?
To approach someone in the street and ask them for a job like that. ” I nod, understanding.
“He looked…” Killian trails off as he searches for the word. “Lost. And I felt a kind of kinship toward him.”
“So, what did you do?” I ask, hanging onto every word.
“I hired him.” Killian shrugs. “But after a week or two, he started showing up late for work. He was slower than everyone else. Weaker. And it didn’t take long for Callen to pull him on it.”
“Callen is one of your employees?”
He nods. “Yeah. He started making comments about him being late or dragging ass at work. So, I pulled Jaxon to one side. I asked him why he was turning up late and why he hasn’t bothered to come dressed in appropriate work clothes. And he told me.”
He pauses, taking a deep breath and I wait for him to continue.
“His mom is an alcoholic. Every day, he gets up and gets his little sister ready for school, drives her there and then comes to work. He couldn’t afford work clothes because he didn’t have his first paycheque yet and if I had to guess, that money would be used to put food on the table. ”
My heart cracks as I picture the teenage boy helping his little sister to school every day, picking her up and making her dinner all while their mom loses herself in a bottle.
The image in my mind is a familiar one. One that only heightens the ache in my chest as I watch Killian relive his childhood through the boy.
“Killian,” I say, taking his hand in mine, but he just shakes his head.
“I warned the others to back off him after that. I told Jaxon he can take his time coming to work in the morning. I bought him his work uniform. But Callen just wouldn’t let it go. I caught him today, giving Jax shit about being late and being slow. So, I gave him a warning.”
God, this man.
Despite all the shit he had to deal with growing up, his heart never changed.
He cares so deeply about everyone around him.
He saw a young boy living the nightmare he lived growing up and he gave him hope.
And I know that having to give one of his employees a warning is probably killing him inside. “You did the right thing.”
He slumps back against the sofa in defeat.
“I know I did. But it feels shitty. I don’t want to be that boss.
I don’t want my employees to think I’m a dick.
But I couldn’t take it anymore, Dais. You should’ve seen the kid.
Every time Callen made a comment, I witnessed a little piece of light leave his eyes, and I fucking hate that. ”
Suddenly, the storm happening outside doesn’t seem so important anymore. What’s happening right here in front of me is. Killian is opening up to me. He’s sharing a piece of the life he created in my absence.
I know he told me this because he was trying to distract me from my own anxiety, but somehow, I have become the one comforting him.
I’m so used to being the one that caused this man pain and heartache that it’s easy to forget that there could be other things that plague him. And him sharing this small piece of vulnerability with me feels like an olive branch to a future friendship between the two of us.