CHAPTER 36
KILLIAN
“What?” I ask as I stumble back a step.
Tears roll down Daisy’s cheeks unchecked. “I can’t have kids, Killian.”
I take another step back and my legs connect with the bed, causing me to fall backwards onto my ass. I lick my lips. “You were pregnant?”
We were going to have a baby.
She nods, her chin shaking with the force of her emotions. “I planned to tell you after the ceremony. It was my wedding gift to you. But I started bleeding before I got the chance. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed and being told the baby was gone.”
I look up at her through blurry eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me after? Why did you go through that alone?”
Daisy shrugs.
She fucking shrugs.
“Fuck,” I blow out a breath, dropping my head.
The weight of her betrayal settles on my chest, curling around my neck like a noose until I struggle to take a full breath. I swallow against the tightness. “You should leave.”
“Killian,” she pleads. Her tone is desperate, full of sadness, but I can’t focus. I can’t focus on her feelings because the ones building inside of me are swallowing me whole.
I know that she needs me. That now is the time for me to be there for her. To hold her and tell her everything is okay. But I can’t do that right now.
She was pregnant with my baby.
Our baby.
And she chose not to tell me.
I had every right to know.
Something is happening inside of me that I can’t control, and I know if she doesn’t leave soon, I will say something I will regret.
I feel betrayed, but I understand her reasonings. It’s not her fault. It’s my fault. All of this is my fault.
I let her walk away with that weight on her shoulders.
I let fucking Noah convince me she was having an affair.
I made a vow to her that I would be there, in sickness and in health, and when she needed me the most, I was drowning my sorrows in whiskey.
I wanted the truth, and now I’ve got it.
I need to be alone.
I need to hold her close.
Fuck, I need to think.
“I need you to go, Daisy. Please,” I croak.
She sighs before turning on her heel and walking out of the room, the door closing behind her with a quiet click.
I doubt she’s even out of the front door when I get to my feet, walk over to my dresser and sweep the contents of it onto the floor in one fell swoop, a roar tearing from my chest.
“Fuck!”
Cologne bottles, watches and framed photos drop to the floor with a satisfying crash. Glass shards fly everywhere, the scent of my aftershave filling the room as the bottles smash to pieces at my feet, but I don’t give a fuck.
The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed and being told the baby was gone.
My nightstand is next. I pick up the lamp and haul it across the room, shattering it against the wall.
I planned to tell you after the ceremony. It was my wedding gift to you.
I yank the drawers out, sending contents flying across my bedroom.
I’m an untamed animal as I tear my room to fucking shreds. The image of Daisy lying in a hospital bed alone flashing in my mind.
The what if of it all playing like a reel in front of my eyes like some kind of sick fucking joke. The universe is taunting me with images of the future we spoke about as teenagers.
A little boy with my black hair and her chocolate eyes riding his bike in the backyard. A little girl with her long curls and my tan skin as she swings on the swing set, I built for her.
The family we almost had.
Almost.
“Motherfucker!” I scream as I rear my fist back before slamming it against the mirror on the wall. Blood instantly pours from my knuckles, but I just stare at it, not feeling a single thing.
My face is wet with both tears and sweat as I finally sink to the floor and bury my head in my knees, letting my grief take over.
The first sob escapes my lips, followed by a second and then a third. Within seconds, I’m shaking uncontrollably as I succumb to my pain.
***
“Have you got the rings?”
Noah’s brows pinch together as he stares at me, wide-eyed. “What rings?”
I give him a deadpan look. “Noah, don’t fuck with me.”
His face breaks out in a wide smile as he pats me on the shoulder. “I’m kidding, man. Of course I’ve got the rings.”
“Good.”
He blows out a breath as he helps me straighten my tie. “I can’t believe you’re getting hitched.”
I smirk. If only you knew.
“I know. Been waiting for this day for far too long.”
“And you’re absolutely sure you wanna go through with this? I can have the car ready to go in seconds, just say the word,” he says in a teasing way that lets me know he doesn’t mean that.
I laugh. “I’m absolutely sure.”
Noah nods, tucking my tie into my jacket and patting me on the chest. “Good man.”
There’s a knock on the door and it cracks open, my sister poking her head in. “How’s it going in here?”
“Good. How is she?” I ask, walking to the door and pulling it open to let her in.
“She’s good. She was in the bathroom when I left.” Bella gives me an excited smile. “Not long now.”
I take a deep breath and stuff my hands into my pockets, my nerves getting the better of me. “I know.”
She steps toward me and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you, Killian.”
I return her embrace. “Thanks, Bells.”
She pulls back and looks up at me, her face serious. “You take care of her, ya hear?”
I fight a smirk as I nod. “I promise.”
“Good.” Bella takes a step back, smoothing her hands down her pale-yellow bridesmaid dress. “You boys look great.”
“So do you, Babybell. Love that colour on you,” Noah says, stepping forward. His cheeks are pink as his eyes roam her body in a way they definitely shouldn’t, and I frown at the side of his head.
“Dude.”
“What?” He looks at me in confusion. “She looks beautiful.”
“She looks like my sister, fuckhead. Put your tongue back in.”
Noah just rolls his eyes at me. “Whatever, man.” He turns his attention back to Bella. “Seriously, you look stunning, Bells.”
Is he fucking for real right now?
Is he hitting on my fucking sister?
Bella blushes before wishing me good luck and closing the door and I whirl on my best friend. “Were you just hitting on my fucking sister?”
“What? No,” he answers far too quickly and far too loudly.
“What did I tell you about my sister, Noah?”
He holds his hands up defensively. “I know she’s off-limits. Chill out.”
“She’s off-limits to you.” I point a finger at his face and then at his dick. “I know exactly where your dick’s been.”
His eyes dart away, his face growing redder. “You don’t need to worry about me going near your sister.”
“Good. Now, let’s go get me married.”
I double check the room, making sure I have everything before heading for the door.
We chose to get married at the small church located in the heart of Rosewater Creek. It’s where Daisy’s parents got married and their parents before them, so she wanted to keep that tradition even though we legally got married two months ago in private.
The church stands tall in the centre, with a graveyard tucked behind it and another small building off to the left that houses wedding parties from out of town. There’s a bridal suite, groom suite and then a room for the married couple to stay in on their wedding night if they choose too.
As we trudge across the gravel parking lot, I can’t help but spare a glance toward the window of the bridal suite.
My stomach flutters as I picture Daisy in there with my sister and her mom, pulling on her wedding dress. Clinking champagne glasses as they laugh.
I drag my attention away as we meet Hunter, Grayson and Grayson’s best friend, Rueben at the doors of the church. One by one, each of them pull me into a half-hug, half-handshake.
“Congratulation, man,” Hunter says, slapping me on the back.
“Don’t congratulate him yet. There’s still time for his bride to make a run for it,” Grayson chimes in with a chuckle.
“Good point. Which one is the bridal suite again? Maybe I’ll put that crush of hers to the test. Make sure she really wants this,” Rueben winks before letting out a booming laugh when he sees the look on my face.
“That’s not fucking funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” Noah says, and I turn my glare on him. I’m still pissed at him for hitting on my sister.
Judging by the way he snaps his mouth shut, he knows it, too.
“Don’t push it.”
I push past them and step into the church, coming to another set of doors. With a deep, calming breath, I push the doors open.
Every head in the room, turns, their eyes landing on me and I swallow past the lump of nerves rising up in my throat.
I offer polite smiles and a few handshakes as I walk down the aisle toward the altar where Father Sinclair awaits me. We exchange pleasantries and he briefly reminds me of how it’s going to go while the boys find their places behind me.
Once everyone is situated, the room falls quiet and I clasp my hands in front of me, dip my head and send up a quick prayer.
I’ve never been a praying man, but something about being in God’s house makes me feel like that’s what I should do.
I pray for our future. For our life to be full of happiness and light. I pray for our children and the family we hope to have someday. And lastly, I pray for Daisy, for my dream girl. That no matter what comes at us in this life or the next, that she will continue to love me through it all.
And when I’m done, I open my eyes just in time to see the doors to open.
Only the face on the other side isn’t my wife’s.
It’s my sisters.
And her expression isn’t one of someone who is about to watch their best friend get married.
It’s horrified.
My brows cinch together, my stomach sinking as she rushes toward me.
I cast a worried glance at Noah who shakes his head, just as confused as I am. He steps forward, meeting Bella halfway.
She says something to him in a low voice and when Noah looks over his shoulder at me, I know that whatever it is, it isn’t good.
Whispers break out around us, people leaning into each other to ask what’s going on.
My skin breaks out in a sweat as Noah approaches me with caution, worry etched into every line of his face.
“What?” I ask, breathlessly, afraid of his answer.
He leans in close. “They can’t find her, man.”
“What are you talking about?”
“They can’t find Daisy.”
They can’t find Daisy?
What the fuck is he talking about?
Blood rushes in my ears as I pull my eyes away from his, my gaze sweeping the room.
They go to Bella, who stands in the aisle, chewing on her nails nervously as a lone tear runs down her face.
To Daisy’s mom where she waits in the doorway, her face just as worried as Bella’s.
And then back to Noah, who’s expression is the worst one of all.
Pity.
I push past him, not sparing a glance at any of the guests as I make a beeline for the front doors and shove my way through them.
The thumping in my chest carries me toward the bridal suite. I let myself in, scanning the room from left to right as if she might appear in front of me and tell me this was one big misunderstanding.
But she doesn’t.
The room is empty. The only evidence that she was ever here is the belongings that are littered across the room. The tube of lipstick lying on the bed. The shoes scattered on the floor. And the wedding dress hanging proudly in front of the bay window, laughing at me.
Fuck.
***
I’m still on the floor when my bedroom door flies open twenty minutes later and Noah stands in the opening, his eyes wide and frantic as he takes in the result of my outburst.
“Killian, holy shit.”
“Get out,” I say, but my voice is weak and tortured.
“What did you do?”
“What does it fucking look like?” I gesture to the destruction surrounding me. “I said, get out.”
“No way, man. Not until you tell me why you’re on the floor in a towel with blood dripping from your knuckles.”
I glance down at myself.
Shit. I didn’t even realise that I’m still in my towel.
Lord knows how that held up against my epic breakdown.
I drop my head back against the wall and stare up at the ceiling, a thought swirling around in my brain.
“I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.”
Noah takes a seat on the floor next to me. “Okay,” he says, sounding apprehensive.
I wet my lips. “When you, uh… when you went to find Daisy. Did she tell you why she left?”
“She told me that she left because she didn’t love you. That she couldn’t go through with the marriage.”
A humourless chuckle leaves me as I roll my head toward him. “We’re already married. Been married the whole time.”
Noah’s eyes widen and he sits up straight. “What?”
“Yup.” I’m emotionless as I say, “got married two months before the wedding. That was just for show.”
“So, you’re telling me, that Daisy has been your wife this whole time?”
I nod.
Noah blows out a breath. “What the fuck, man?”
I shrug.
“What the hell happened here, Killian?” Noah asks, gesturing at the mess around us.
“I finally got the truth.”
“And that is?”
I take a deep breath. “She was pregnant.”
I feel his head whirl toward me, his gaze hot on the side of my face as I whisper my next words. “She lost it.”