Chapter 3
SHELDON
Many people had happy places where they went on vacation or a spot that held a special memory. My happy place was with my best friend and his parents. Weird, maybe, but they were my people. Kind of. Oleander’s mom wasn’t for everyone.
“There you are.” Colleen walked toward us with her arms open.
There was no dodging her hugs. She’d perfected the art of wrapping herself around her son and me at the same time.
Her hand met my ribs as she hugged. It only lasted seconds before she leaned back, her brown eyes meeting mine.
“You’re not eating enough.” Then she turned to her son while still holding us. “Why aren’t you making sure he eats?”
Oleander sighed. “What would you like me to do? Stand by his side every day and watch as he spoons food into his mouth?”
“I saw this coming, you know. Shel was going to have a rough patch.” Her gaze speared mine again.
“I tell you both, and neither of you listens to me.” Turning, she went back into the kitchen.
“I’m the crazy mom, the witch who everyone thinks is batshit.
Let me tell you something, I know what’s best for my boys.
” She tapped her temple. “I’ve seen it.”
The scent of a rich potato soup floated through the air.
When Colleen cooked, she did so with love, stirring it into every meal.
She taught me how to do the same when I was younger.
When my mom couldn’t be who I needed, Colleen was there to take me into her embrace and teach me things I should have learned from my own family.
She’d said it was never too early to learn to be self-sufficient.
Cooking my meals would get me farther than playing video games.
I didn’t enjoy cooking as much as she did.
“What did they tell you this time?” Oleander asked as he took a seat at the table in the breakfast nook.
“Let’s just say you need to make a move, my son.”
“Sweet Jesus,” he muttered.
That was another thing about Colleen. She was psychic.
I’d always been skeptical, but one day, she called me right before I was about to head out of Jordan’s building to go hunt someone down for him.
She’d told me when the caw of a crow was heard to duck.
Damned if I didn’t do as she said, then a bullet flew just above my head.
I believed her, while still holding onto a bit of skepticism. She’d said she’d teach Oleander and me how to talk to our spirit guides. Oleander rolled his eyes like he always did, kissed her on the cheek, and thanked her for being a good mom. She didn’t teach us. We didn’t want to learn.
A black cat sauntered into the kitchen like she owned the place. There was only one person the cat yielded to.
“Good, you’re up,” Colleen said to the cat. “Celeste, tell the boys to get off their asses and make moves on the men they’re interested in already.”
Celeste looked at us, meowed loudly, then walked to Colleen’s feet, where she sat waiting for a treat. She got one, of course.
“I’m not taking advice from your cat,” I told her.
“She’s smarter than the two of you right now. Too skinny and wandering around in the hallways at night. Honestly, Shel. You’re better than that.”
“Apparently not,” I muttered.
Oleander gripped my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “He’s doing okay, Mom. I’ve got his back.”
In a sudden rush of emotion, my throat felt tight and tears pricked my eyes. I shook my head and looked down at my lap. Celeste chose that moment to wind in and out of my legs.
This was what a family should be. The one I grew up in had an abusive, drunk father, and a mother who couldn’t stand up for me or herself. I still loved her until her last day on this earth. I couldn’t save her, not when she chose to stay over leaving with me.
A soft hand touched my cheek, drawing my eyes up to Colleen’s.
Some of her dark brown hair had fallen loose from the messy bun she had piled on top of her head.
Her clothes were a size too big. The only time I saw her in shoes was when she had to leave the house.
Colleen lived authentically, not caring what anyone thought of her.
I’d never known someone who was so in tune with themself as she was.
“Don’t dwell on the past,” she said softly. “Only ghosts live there who have no place being brought into the future. No harm can be done to you now. Don’t let them in.”
I nodded, soaking up the warmth of her touch before she pulled her hand back to bring the bowls of soup to the table.
As usual, lunch was delicious. Warm, with the right amount of spices, chunks of bacon, and a drop of sour cream. This was a meal on its own. Add in the freshly baked bread, and I was a happy man.
“You should move closer to Dremest,” I told her.
It had been an ongoing conversation over the years.
Colleen preferred to live outside of the city, where the trees were denser and the houses were spaced farther apart.
She grew herbs on her windowsills and vegetables in her garden.
There were spell books and candles around the house, as well as crystals placed strategically.
This was her safe space, and she didn’t let anyone in who could cause harm.
“Please,” she scoffed. “There’s no way I’m leaving this place behind.”
The back door opened, Celeste not moving from where she leaned on my foot. “Col?” Oleander’s father called.
“In the kitchen,” she returned.
Tall with red hair and blue eyes, Oleander’s dad was one of the kindest men I’d ever met. He didn’t have a violent bone in his body. The man saved bugs from the house and released them outside, for fuck’s sake. “Boys, it’s good to see you.”
He kissed us both on the tops of our heads before embracing his wife. The way she leaned into his touch and looked at him like he was her whole world made me envious of their relationship.
He held up his hand, opening his palm to reveal a small stone.
“Oh, that’s pretty,” she said, her eyes lighting up.
“I found it by the creek. I should have been watching my line, but instead got caught up in this.”
“It’s well worth it.” She lifted it from his palm and held it up to the sun. “I know just the place for it.” With a kiss to his cheek, she left the room.
Had this been anyone else, I would have thought they were crazy. How could a rock make someone happy? But this was Colleen. She loved what nature provided, cherished the gifts she’d been given, and lived on her own terms. Her husband handing her a rock he’d found was precious to her.
“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Davis asked.
“We can’t,” Oleander answered before I could. “We’re due back for a meeting.”
“That’s a shame. At least take some soup with you.” We would. We always did. Passing up on soup made with love was a hell no.
Oleander’s parents were retired, had been for years. After working corporate jobs and commuting into the city, they retired as soon as they could and moved to this cottage in the woods, where a creek ran along the property and deer grazed nearby. It was out of a fairy tale. Not mine, but theirs.
I preferred the city, loved riding my motorcycle through the streets, feeling the power of the job I had, and reveling in the thrill of killing people. Wow, that sounded terrible. I really shouldn’t think such things in this home.
Colleen spoke to spirits. She didn’t share her gift with others, choosing to keep it to her family and friends to help them when necessary. Her herbs and vegetables were sold at a local farmer’s market in the summer months. They didn’t need the income, but it gave her something to do.
It was good for her to believe in what she did. I was content to live a life of misery, pining for a man who wanted nothing to do with me, while guarding the back of a mafia boss. Boring, my life was not.
My foot started to cramp from not moving, so I lifted it, irritating Celeste, who hissed at me and left the room. Pets were for other people, just like babies. I was glad to have none of my own.
We said our goodbyes, were hugged and kissed, and told how much we were loved.
On more than one instance, I thought I didn’t deserve these people.
Not just Colleen and Davis, but Oleander too.
He’d been with me through my highs and lows.
He stood by my side when I picked up my mom’s ashes and was there when I put them in the ground.
There was no one I trusted more than him.
“Are you going to listen to her?” he asked on the drive back to Jordan’s building.
“About making a move on Forest? No. I only do what she says when I might die if I don’t.”
He nodded. Oleander wasn’t skeptical, but he also didn’t practice what his mom did. “Your situation is different than mine.”
“Yeah, yours is easier, yet you still don’t do shit about it.”
“Say what you really feel.”
I smiled and gave him a light shove. I didn’t need him running off the road. “Sylvan only has eyes for you.”
“I can’t… He’s too sweet, too…”
“Perfect for you. He’s just what you need, Ollie. Someone to balance out the bullshit with good.”
“How about you don’t give me love advice until you have Forest by your side and you two finally have a conversation?”
“I’m not chasing him anymore. He’s made it clear he doesn’t think of me like I do of him.”
If I hadn’t been watching Oleander, I still would have known he rolled his eyes.
“I get that you want someone who wants you. That’s how it should be.
You’re an amazing man who deserves a partner who values you.
But you won’t know that it’s not Forest until you speak to him.
You might not see him much anymore, although you still think about him.
You keep your eyes on the back door in Hartley’s studio when you’re on his detail.
There’s only one way to find out if he has feelings for you, Shel, but you have to leap to get your answer. ”
Staring out the window, I thought about Oleander’s words. What could I say? He was right. To get the answer to my question, I’d have to stick out not only my neck, but my heart as well.
“If I talk to Forest, your mom is going to have a lot to say,” I told Oleander.
“Of course she is. She wants us to be happy. You torturing yourself over Forest isn’t getting you there. Talking to him could. I’m not saying you have to do it today; work your way up to it. Regardless of what you do or don’t do, I’ll always have your back.”
“Ditto.”
If I finally got up the courage to talk to Forest, at least I’d have Oleander to go to when my heart was crushed and all hope of anything with Forest died.