Chapter 31 #2
He drags his fingertips over my chest mindlessly for a few seconds, then raises up to look at me. He searches my face in the dark, his gray eyes like a caress as they roam over my face.
“Hey, Austin?” he says quietly, locking his gaze on mine.
“Hey, Luca?” I respond, smiling when he does.
He’s quiet for a second, staring down at me with indecision flashing in his eyes. His throat bobs with a heavy swallow, his fingers still drawing patterns on my skin.
“Are you okay?” I whisper.
He nods slowly. “Yeah, I…” He swallows again, then breaks eye contact. “I just wanted to say thank you again for the laptop.”
I cup his face, rubbing my thumb on his cheek. “You don’t have to thank me, baby. I already told you.”
“Fuck,” he whispers, letting out a shaky breath. “That’s… that’s not what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say is…” I wait him out, continuing to stroke his face gently. “I love you,” he whispers, eyes flying back to mine.
I stare into his gorgeous gray eyes, trying to force my heart out of my throat and back into my chest. He doesn’t look afraid at all, and I’m thankful for that. “In what way?” I ask, mirroring his words.
His lips curve into the most beautiful, breathtaking smile I’ve ever seen. “In all the ways.”
“Jesus.” I use my hold on him to pull him down, pressing my lips to his. He’s smiling. Smiling and kissing me, and I love him so damn much that it’s a miracle I survived all the years leading up to having him like this. I break our kiss so I can look at him. “I love you too, baby.”
He nods, his smile so sweet it nearly cracks my heart in two. “I know. I believe you, and I trust you. Thank you for waiting for me.”
I shake my head. “You don’t need to thank me. I’d wait for you forever.”
“Thankfully, you don’t have to,” he says, giggling.
No, thankfully, I don’t. But I would. As long as I had him in my life, I’d wait forever.
Even if he never loved me back. Even if he never wanted a relationship with me.
Just having him as my best friend would be enough.
“I’ll never need anything but you,” I say softly, watching as his pupils dilate.
“I’ll never want anything but you.”
I cock my head, noticing the change in words, and he grins. “I’ve learned some important things about life and love since Damien.”
“Yeah?”
He nods solemnly. “Yeah. I don’t ever want to need someone again.
I know, in my heart and soul, that you would never, ever hurt me.
” I shake my head vehemently, because no, I wouldn’t.
“But… I don’t want to need you. I don’t want my life to be reliant on you.
I want to work and make my own money. I want to be able to support myself if we don’t work out. ”
When I raise an eyebrow, he chuckles. “I can’t see us not working out,” he continues, smiling at me. “But I don’t ever want to be stuck again.”
“I understand that, and I’m so proud of you for that.”
“I’m proud of me too.” Fuck, those might be the best words I’ve ever heard. “And I love you. And I want you. But I don’t need you. And honestly, Austin, I think that makes you the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
His words take my breath away and have my heart pounding.
It truly is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, and he’s right.
It’s special; that kind of love. He depended on Damien and lived according to his whims. I like knowing that he trusts in himself enough to know that he’d survive without me.
That I don’t hold all the cards, and that he gets to be in control of his own life, and that even still, he wants me to be a part of it.
“I love you, Luc. So damn much. And I’m thrilled to be wanted and not needed.”
He leans forward to kiss me again. I take my time, exploring his mouth and swallowing his moans as we lose ourselves in one another. God, I love him so much.
Ma
Can you please come by after work today before you go home? I need to talk to you about something.
Me
Of course. I’ll be there right around 7:15.
I’m worried out of my mind as I turn into Ma and Dad’s driveway. Her message to me has been playing on a loop in my mind since she sent it a few hours ago. Luck would have it that things were quiet today, and I had nothing to distract me from the worry of what she might have to say.
Jasper had given up on trying to get me to talk early on, and I was happy about that because I didn’t even know why I was so worried. Other than a general sense of something being wrong.
I push open the front door and step inside. Ma’s usually in the kitchen cooking. It’s her happy place, after all—she and Luca have that in common—but she’s sitting on the couch instead, staring at the door like she’s been counting the minutes until I would show up.
“Hey, Ma. Everything okay?”
She shakes her head and shrugs at the same time, confusing me further. “I don’t know, really. Come sit down.”
“Where’s Dad?”
She waves a hand in front of her. “Getting the chickens fresh water. That dang heater we got isn’t working like it should, and it keeps freezing up.”
I nod, trying to figure out why I’m here. “Does he need help with it?”
“What?” Ma glances over at me, then shakes her head. “No, it’s not that.”
I’m about to lose it when she sighs. “Have you guys heard anything about Luca’s ex?”
My stomach drops out. “Um, no? Should we have?”
Ma smooths her pant legs, a surefire sign she’s nervous. “Someone came into the diner last night.”
Nerves rattle in my stomach. “Okay…”
“He was asking about Luca,” Ma whispers, worry reflecting in her eyes.
“I told him I didn’t know who he was. Somethin’ just felt off about him, y’know?” she says, smoothing her pants again. “But… I don’t know.”
“What did he look like?” I hear myself asking over the blood rushing in my ears. What the fuck is going on? Is Damien in town asking around about Luca? This is going to devastate him. He’s been feeling so safe lately.
“He was older than you boys. Medium build. He looked sophisticated and put together. Out of place in my diner, that’s for sure. I’ve never seen anyone come in there with a suit. Not even the church crowd.”
Anxiety crawls up my throat. Everything she’s saying points to Damien; every single thing.
I haven’t seen him in person since I was eighteen, and my memories of him are fuzzy, but I’ve seen photos.
And I think Luca might still have some on his socials, so I yank my phone out of my pocket in a daze to look.
It doesn’t take me long to find one, since Luca hasn’t been using any social media since he got here. I turn the phone to show Ma. “Him?”
Ma grabs her reading glasses off the coffee table, then takes the phone from me, peering at the screen. She studies it for a second, then shakes her head, handing the phone back to me. “No. That’s not him.”
Relief floods me. “Fuck. That’s good.”
“Austin Lawson, you watch your mouth.”
Shit. “Sorry, Ma.”
“Besides,” she continues, ignoring my apology. “I’m not sure it’s good. He was asking weird questions. Have I seen him? Do I know where he lives? I kept telling him no, and he kept ignoring me, talking over me like he knew better. I don’t trust it, Austin.”
I don’t trust it, either. Not even a little bit. If he was in a suit, he could be one of Damien’s lawyer buddies. Or hell, even a private investigator. Anything is possible. “If he comes back in again, can you try to get a photo of him?”
Mom nods. “But I’m worried about it. Should I let Luca know? I don’t want him afraid to come to work. I want him to feel safe with me.”
It’s easy to hear the pain in her voice.
She loves Luca like her own son and always has.
“I know, Ma. He does. He does feel safe with you.” I have to talk to him.
I have to let him know. “Okay, maybe you tell Arlo. Arlo can help keep an eye on things. And I’ll talk to Luc. He closes for you a lot, right?”
“Yeah. He’s always sending me home early. He and Arlo both. They don’t even let me clean my own kitchen anymore.”
I smile at that, despite the way my stomach is churning.
God, I hate everything about this. Luca’s been so happy.
Even the thought of derailing that has my heart aching.
He deserves so much better. So much better than a life where he’s looking over his shoulder and afraid.
Damien shouldn’t get to have that power over him. Fuck.
I’ll do anything to protect him, though. Anything.