Chapter 17
HALEY
I missed having Ethan in bed with me when I woke up the next morning.
I was apprehensive that he may be still angry about me going back to Atlanta without him and needed some distance.
Brax related to me that the pew installation had gone well, he was having dinner with his parents and would be home late. He would see me tomorrow.
I made the call to the Texas ranch and declined the job. That felt so real, so freeing.
When he wasn’t at the bar when I went to work, I had to wonder what was going on.
I had seen him in here every day, and it was jarring to see someone else in his place.
I realized this was my first test, and I wasn’t going to back down.
I couldn’t. Brad had terrorized me, and I didn’t want Ethan to handle it for me.
My mind hadn’t changed and if he was going to get angry about it, that was his reaction, and I would deal with it.
But when he didn’t show up the next day either, I went to speak to Brax and found him in the kitchen rolling out the biscuit dough. “Do you know where Ethan is?”
“He said he had some things to handle and gave me the head’s up that he was quitting. He hasn’t talked to you?” Brax dipped a glass into some flour and started pressing out round cutouts, setting them on a baking sheet.
Hugging myself to keep everything in, I clenched my jaw, my lips feeling stiff and unresponsive. It took me a moment before I could pull it off. Then I said, sounding almost normal, “He quit?”
“Yeah, I’m surprised I was able to keep him this long, but I suspect that has more to do with you.
He did tell me he’d be by to give me the details and gave me a couple weeks’ notice.
” The oven timer sounded and he walked over to the oven, pulled out the sheet with golden brown biscuits and replaced it with the fresh ones.
He reset the timer. “I’m sorry, Lawson. That’s all I know. ”
That bit of news hit me hard, and it was all I could do to keep breathing.
Avoiding Brax’s gaze, I picked up one of the biscuits in the basket and toyed with the flaky dough.
Could he have gone to Atlanta? He had my real name.
It wouldn’t take much to find Brad. My gut clenched with anxiety.
Ethan wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t go behind my back. So, where was he?
I made an excuse that I had to get back to work and left. I hadn’t thought it possible, but preparing to leave was getting harder and harder. Too hard. I almost wished I was leaving tomorrow. Each day worse than the one before.
When I hadn’t heard from Ethan by closing time, I headed home, a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had dinner and took a shower, curling up in the window seat. I leaned my head against the windowpane, my expression fixed on the lush bayou.
There was a knock at the door, and I rose. I knew it couldn’t be Ethan because he had a key. I peered through the pane and froze for a second. It was Ethan’s momma.
“Hi, there,” she said when I opened the door. “I’ve been meaning to get over here since you came into town. I’m the Welcome Wagon here.” She placed a basket in my hands filled with wonderful things.
“May I come in?”
I was still feeling a bit winded, and I stuttered a little as I stepped back. “Please do.”
She entered and looked around, a pleased look on her face. “He did a nice job in here. So cozy and sweet. It must be a joy to live here.”
“It is. I’m very grateful to everyone who helped, but especially to Brax, and most especially to Ethan.”
Monica studied me, the smile leaving her eyes, a thoughtful, perceptive look appearing. She didn’t say anything for a moment, her voice soft with reassurance. “Don’t look so scared, sweetie. I don’t bite, at least not often.”
That broke the ice, and I smiled. “I’m sorry. It’s just been a crazy time for me.”
“I’m sure and having the momma of the man you’re quite in love with showing up on your doorstep must be…disconcerting to say the least.”
I gasped, my stomach giving a little jump. “How did you know?”
“Oh, honey, I saw it the moment you came for lunch, a mother knows. He’s also quite in love with you. You must know that.”
I blushed and looked down. “He hasn’t said the words, but, yes, I know he loves me.”
“May I call you Haley?”
“Yes,” I said. The sound of my real name on someone else’s lips fortified me, reminding me who I was and what I needed to do. “You can. Everyone will know soon enough. When I come back I don’t want any more secrets.”
She nodded in full agreement. “No one will hold it against you.” She took a seat on the sofa and patted the place beside her.
I set the basket on the counter and went and sat down.
“I came by because he’s hurting, and I wanted to talk to you about him, hoping that you could understand a little better who Ethan is. ”
“He’s wonderful.” My heart hurt that Ethan was struggling with my decision. I didn’t hold it against him that he had told his mother; she wouldn’t betray me. Obviously, Ethan gained his integrity from his parents.
“Yes, he is. But above all, he’s an honorable man and he measures his life by what is right and honorable, just like his daddy.
” Her expression altered, and there was something almost feral in her eyes as she stared off, as if looking into the past. “We lost him for a while because my husband is an exacting man and his plans for Ethan had been laid before he was born. He had a lot of pressure in his formative years that molded him into the kind of man that goes into the Marines and serves his country. The fact that he’s a leader, a warrior, doesn’t surprise me.
” She smiled and patted my hand. “Stay strong and true to yourself. Happiness is sometimes something you have to fight for and rely on him, not necessarily lean, but rely. He will never let you down.”
After she left, I couldn’t get her words out of my mind.
Feeling as if the walls were closing in on me, and my brain would explode if I tried to guess at Ethan’s motivations, I couldn’t sit still and went outside to the water’s edge.
I closed my eyes and tried to shut everything down.
I couldn’t think about it anymore. I just couldn’t, the unpleasant thoughts only adding to my turmoil.
I realized that I had made the decision to go back to Atlanta because I had to do it for myself.
Of course, Ethan was tied up in my decision, but it was closure I needed.
I wanted my life back for him and for me.
Concentrating on breathing, I inhaled all the fragrances that surrounded me—the perfume of wisteria and wild magnolia, the salty smell of the marsh and the rich odor of damp earth.
Where I walked, the land squished, and I felt suddenly sad that soon traces of my passing would be gone.
It made me think sharply of the last year of my life and all those places I had lived and worked.
“Babe?”
I whirled to find Ethan standing there, and I made a soft sound and ran to him, wrapping my arms around him.”
“Ethan. I was worried.”
“I’m sorry. I got caught up and have been tied up in tests and meetings all day. I wanted to call you, but I didn’t want to spoil my news.”
“What news?”
“I applied to be a Louisiana deputy sheriff. I’ve had tests, physical exams, interviews, psychological screening and a physical fitness assessment.
Passed with flying colors. Mike fast-tracked it because the academy starts in a couple of weeks and he’s going out of town after Aubree’s graduation.
They rented a beach house on the Florida Keys for two weeks for a family vacation. ”
“Oh, Ethan, I’m so happy for you. How did your daddy take it?”
“He was disappointed, but he and I came to an understanding, finally. He really does want me to be happy. He was only pushing because he thought I was floundering without a set purpose. I should have talked to him a long time ago.”
“Well, it’s resolved now.”
He studied my face. “Did you miss me?”
“You know I did. Fiercely.”
“Let’s go inside and celebrate with a glass of wine.”
After a glass, Ethan and I made love, but it was with a desperation that was born out of our coming separation. I had no idea how long we’d be apart, and I was concerned that distance would only make the heart forget. Would complications and distance make him change his mind about me?
The next week flew by and was hectic, filled with preparations for Aubree’s big bash and the fact that Booker was the commencement speaker—the youngest in their history was significant.
Everyone in the town had been buzzing about it since I had broken down here a month ago.
His series of books had been produced into movies to critical acclaim, and his family based novels made him a household name.
But he and Aubree were completely down to earth.
She was busy with finishing up with school, and was attending several functions this week including her Honors Senior Reception.
Braxton expected the whole damn town at this, and it was going to spill over to outside.
He was serving buffet style with a couple choices of entrée.
All I knew was that I wanted a big bowl of his gumbo. It was the best I’d ever tasted.
Aubree’s graduation, well both of them—the overall ceremony first, then smaller college one in the afternoon—would be held on Saturday and we were heading to New Orleans for an overnight stay on Friday.
Brax was running a limited service on Friday with Martha handling the kitchen for him.
I was excited about visiting New Orleans as Ethan promised a trip to Café Du Monde, and I would finally get my taste of authentic beignets and their famous coffee.
We were staying in the French Quarter at this quaint 1800s inn and everyone in his immediate family, including his friends were aware we were a couple. At least, I hoped we still were.