Chapter 15
About Damn Time
Eddie
Fucking Deirdre.
Don’t get me wrong, she’s a fantastic mother, and most of the time, she’s a damn good friend, too. But the stunt she pulled tonight? Unacceptable. And she will absolutely get a piece of my mind when I pick Theo up tomorrow.
I could have made a bigger deal of her sabotage, but I’ve known the woman for almost a decade. Deirdre was well past the point of reason. She wasn’t interested in explanations and she sure as hell didn’t care to hear anything that countered the narrative she’d built in her head.
It wouldn’t have mattered what I said. She wants to paint Kiki as dangerous and tainted by Drake’s crimes, which is insanity.
Look, I get Deirdre being pissed and protective. But she allowed her anger to splash all over a perfect stranger who already gets more hate thrown at her in a day than most people could stomach in a year.
She’d never met Kiki before tonight and yet, she was ready to throw her ass to the wolves. No chance to know the woman behind the headlines.
Deirdre is better than that, or at least I thought she was.
Then I have another problem right in front of me, because the last thing my girlfriend needs is yet another person looking at her like she’s the scum on the bottom of their shoe.
But here we are.
Kiki barely touches her dinner. She twirls the pasta around her fork, forces down a few small bites, then looks up and tells me how delicious it is. On repeat.
I know the spaghetti is good, but that’s not the point.
Once again, Kiki believes she’s done something wrong by simply daring to take up space.
God fucking forbid, we allow her a modicum of happiness.
Deirdre sees a threat. A menace to Theo and our way of life.
But that’s not what I see. Kiki claims she used to be sunshine mixed with a little hurricane, and I’ll do everything in my power to coax her back out again, even though today set us back a few steps.
Kiki insists on cleaning up after dinner, so I step into the other room to say goodnight to Theo.
But first? I have to prepare for another round with Deirdre. Just in case.
I stretch my neck, roll my shoulders, and punch the air a couple of times, like I’m preparing for a boxing match instead of a phone call.
I held it together earlier for Theo’s sake. But if Deirdre answers and starts acting like a raging lunatic again, I’m giving her both barrels.
She picks up on the second ring, but I don’t give her time to say hello.
“I want to say goodnight to Theo.”
Deirdre releases a loud exhale that immediately sets my teeth on edge.
“Please don’t start,” I say, rubbing a hand over my brow.
“Me? That was bad form earlier, Eddie.”
Trust me, sweetheart, no argument here. “No shit, it was.”
Silence crackles down the line for a few seconds. “Why would you have her over after everything we discussed?”
I bark out a humorless laugh. “Everything we discussed? You mean the part where you accused Kiki of crimes she didn’t commit and decided, based on absolutely nothing, that she shouldn’t be around Theo?
All I asked was for you to give her a chance.
Then you march into my apartment, drag our son out, and tell Kiki you don’t give a shit what she does.
So really, you want to get into this now? Because I’m ready to go.”
That buys me another stretch of silence. “No. I don’t. I’ll get Theo.”
“Good idea.”
A few moments later, Theo comes on the line. “Hi, Dad.”
Just like that, the anger drains out of me. “Hey, buddy.”
“I didn’t have paschetti. Mom made me a hamburger.”
Poor little guy. The disappointment drips off his words, but I know it’s not about the damn pasta.
“Hamburgers are good too. But don’t worry. When I pick you up tomorrow, I’ll make you paschetti, okay?”
“Okay.”
“You finish your homework?”
“Yeah.”
“All right, buddy, you better get to bed. I love you.”
He sighs. “Love you too, Dad.”
Another rustle from the other end of the line and Deirdre is back. “What time are you picking him up tomorrow?”
“I’ll be there at nine.”
“Fine,” she snaps.
“Fine.”
I end the call before we can say anything else. No point, because it’s going to end in another fight, and I’ve had enough of that for one day.
Tossing my phone on the bed, I return to the living room.
Kiki perches on the edge of the couch, every inch of her poised for flight. “Are Theo and Deirdre okay?”
Lord love this woman. Even after everything my ex pulled today, she still wants to make sure everyone else is all right.
I drop onto the couch beside her, giving her thigh a gentle squeeze. “Deirdre’s still a pain in the ass, but Theo’s fine.”
Her mouth trembles, as she sees right through the reassurance I’m trying to sell. “It’s not going to be okay, is it?”
I rake a hand through my hair, hating our next conversation. I pluck the wineglass from her hand and grasp her fingers. “Look, this is bullshit, right? I know it and you know it, but I’m going to let Deirdre calm down. Let her think she won this round.”
Her fingers twitch in mine. “What does that mean?”
God, I hate this so fucking much.
“It means,” I force the words out even though they taste like ash, “we need to put some distance between you and Theo for a couple of weeks.”
Well, this is how a heart breaks.
Kiki’s face crumples. She snatches her hands from mine and folds in on herself, burying her face behind both palms as her shoulders shake with silent sobs.
“Hey, hey.” I move in close, rubbing my hands up and down her arms. “Kiki, come on. It’s going to be okay.”
“It’s not.” Her voice breaks from behind her hands. “I destroy everything I touch.”
My God, my poor woman.
I pull her hands from her face and grasp her chin, forcing her to meet my gaze. “Hey, look at me.”
Her eyes lift to mine, wrecked and full of tears.
“You make everything better. Warmer. Softer. More beautiful.”
But my words don’t stand a chance of landing. Not when she’s hurting this badly.
“I don’t, though. Look at what happened tonight with Deirdre. I ruin everything.” Tears stream down her cheeks, but she makes no move to wipe them away. “I’m so tired, Eddie. It would be easier if I didn’t exist at all.”
Fucking hell.
Trust me, I’ve worried about the stress on Kiki’s psyche. The constant barrage of insults. The undeserved loneliness that’s set up a permanent base camp in her soul.
But this is the first time she’s uttered the words, and they scare the shit out of me.
I pull her to me, desperate to soothe the pain. “Never say that again, okay? I need you. Don’t you get that? I need you, Kiki.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t. Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt myself. I’m too chicken shit for that.”
I stroke the hair from her face. “Thank God, because I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Kiki sniffles, wiping her tears. “Have an easier life? A better life? Honestly, I don’t even know why you’re with me.”
Because I love you.
And Jesus Christ, there it is. The words I haven’t said yet because I wanted the right moment, the right setting, the right everything.
Not with her crying on my couch and my whole life feeling like it got knocked sideways in the last two hours.
But hell, Deirdre already knows. Ash and Ori know. Maybe the woman I’m in love with ought to know, too.
Timing might suck, but the feeling doesn’t, and that has to count for something, right?
I brush my thumbs over her wet cheeks. “If I tell you I’m falling in love with you, is that going to help or hurt my cause?”
Kiki just blinks at me, her eyes wide and glassy.
Well, there you go, Landry. Real smooth. Confess your feelings while the woman’s crying so hard she can barely breathe. What did you expect?
“Wow, I must really be a sight if you’re telling me you love me.”
Normally, her words would stop me cold, but I see the tiniest pull at the corners of her mouth. Some small part of her believes me, even if the rest of her can’t.
“You’re beautiful.” I press a kiss to one tear-streaked cheek, then the other, and rest my forehead against hers. “I love you so much it scares the hell out of me. And I promise you, we’re going to have a beautiful life together.”
Now, it’s all out there. My words, my feelings, my heart. Funny thing is, I don’t want to take a single one of them back.
I’ve cared about women before. I loved Deirdre, and she’ll always have a place in my heart because memories don’t vanish when the romance does.
But I’ve never been in love before now, and yet, I’m so glad I told Kiki, because some part of me knows I’ve loved her since the beginning, and it’s about damn time I spoke the words aloud.
The shock on Kiki’s face falls away, replaced by a tremulous smile and she feathers her fingers down my face. “How do you do it? How do you always know how to ease the hurt?” She bites her lip, which, without fail, gets me every time. “How are you so perfect?”
I smirk, brushing off her compliment. “Trust me, I’m not.”
Seems Kiki doesn’t agree, as she presses a soft kiss to my mouth. “To me, you’re more than perfect. You’re everything.”