FOURTEEN
Cece
I stare at the message on my screen, forcing an impassive expression I barely have the strength to hold. My grip on the steering wheel is tight. White-knuckled.
It’s not Levi’s message that has me trembling—but now, at least, it makes sense.
Levi: There’s some development. I’m heading to my parents’ house. But we need to talk. Be at their place in an hour if you can.
I’d just dropped Vi off at our parents’ place, already planning to head to the Astor estate like Levi asked.
That’s when my phone pinged again.
I wasn’t going to look. I was driving. But when I saw the sender—Unknown—my eyes flew to it anyway.
And now I think I’m losing my mind.
Unknown: Thought you should know who he is with when not with you.
Attached are two photos.
The first is from my parents’ anniversary party. Levi and Iris huddled together in a corner, his expression sharp—heated in a way that could be anger… or something else. Something more intimate. Something I don’t want to name. It must’ve been after I left.
But it’s the second photo that nearly brings me to tears.
Levi—his back to the camera—is unmistakable. Even grainy and taken from a distance, I’d recognize that silhouette anywhere. That suit. That stance.
Feminine hands rest lightly on his shoulders. Iris. Her face isn’t fully visible, but I can see the length of her hair—falling just shy of her waist.
They’re in the Astor cafeteria. Empty. I don’t know when the photo was taken, but it’s definitely not ten years old.
My throat pulses with a panicked beat.
This. Then his message. The timing is impossible to ignore. And I wretchedly recall how he didn’t even call me baby in that message. That’s an odd thing to focus on, but my mind hollows out in its absence anyway.
I blink rapidly, trying to clear my vision—trying to focus enough to drive to the Astor estate.
But right now, I don’t know what I’ll find when I get there.
??????
“I loved Iris.”
I hear Levi’s unmistakable raging voice as I enter the estate, just a few feet away from the sitting room. I also notice the hint of sorrow there.
“And you took her away from me.”
My stomach sinks to the floor at his words.
“You used your influence, your threats, and you dismantled the one thing in my life that was mine back then. So then I did everything you asked after that. I played the part. But it’s still not fucking good enough, is it?”
Oh god! His parents threatened Iris? That’s why they broke up, isn’t it?
I don’t mean to eavesdrop but Levi’s ravaged voice is loud enough to carry through the hall. The faint shuffle of his shoes like he’s pacing.
Then I hear Odette’s uncharacteristically timid voice. “Do you really think it would have lasted with that girl? Do you really believe something real could’ve come out of that relationship? She wasn’t one of us. She wasn’t… she…”
One of us?
I knew she was a snobby, high-society woman but it seems like her animosity toward common people is deep-seated. Enough that they… pushed Iris away.
Levi’s tone hardens when he responds. “I would’ve wanted to figure that out for myself. I didn’t need your approval. I didn’t want a goddamn clause like a noose around my neck.”
Tears spring to my eyes. My frame shaking again—just like in the car when I saw those pictures.
“I wanted to find love… myself.”
Jesus Christ. He should want that. Of course, he should. Love can’t be forced upon him and it was taken away from him all those years ago.
But all I want to do is shrink myself into a corner. My whole body is growing cold with dread at what this means.
“I’ll get that damn clause eradicated,” he says, tone calm yet deadly. “So no one—ever—has to suffer from this stupidity again.”
I find myself stupidly nodding to no one.
It makes sense. The clause shouldn’t exist since it’s probably why his parents threatened Iris.
Suddenly, the half open door to the sitting room flies open fully. Levi’s frame filling my vision. That’s when I notice. The suit. It’s the same as the picture. And he did say he was at the office today.
Oh.
They must’ve talked. It makes sense. It all makes sense now.
But what doesn’t make sense is the relief washing over Levi when his gaze finds me.
“God. Cece…” he says with a pained whisper.
When he steps forward, as if to pull me in an embrace, I involuntarily flinch. I can’t… endure touch. Not right now.
“Baby?” he asks, his face twisting in confusion.
He just called me baby. Why?
Then I see the strange hurt still lingering in his eyes, and I want to take it away. And I know how.
“I… I’ll help,” I find myself mumbling.
“What?” he croaks.
I try to relax my face, ensuring I’m not showing the sheer panic beneath. Then I say the words that might work. Words of support because I think that’s what he needs. Given how his parents have betrayed him so brutally.
God, what were Odette and Thomas thinking? I know they aren’t the most loving parents. But this?
“I’ll help you get rid of the clause,” I assure him. “Then… you can marry whoever.”
I watch as his face falls, paling at some realization that only he knows. Then suddenly, horror twists his face and he’s in front of me in a blink—cupping my cheeks gently.
His eyes flick between mine as he whispers. “You heard me.”
I nod numbly, not fully grasping why he’s acting this way. “Just the last part. About… Iris… and the clause. I’ll help.”
His face suddenly crumples. I can hear the faint sounds of his parents arguing inside.
“Cece, baby.” He seems to be at a loss for words. His heart pounding loudly.
I frown. “What—”
“Let’s go home,” he blurts, blinking rapidly. “I… my apartment. I need to explain… I… fuck. There’s some things I thought I could explain here but…” He’s fumbling over his words, almost frantic. So I agree.
He tangles his hand with mine, leading us both to his car. His gaze flicking toward my car briefly. “I’ll get someone to bring your car back,” he mumbles, opening the door for me.
My hands are growing colder and clammy. I wipe them on the skirt of my dress when I settle into the car.
He drives in silence, but his wary eyes keep looking at me with a painful awareness at every stop light. I want to assure him that everything will be fine. That I get it. But I’m also trembling—knowing that I’m headed to his place for a break up that might have always been inevitable.
I should’ve known. Even expected it when Iris came back. Add to that, the clause—
The moment we enter his place, he hugs me without hesitation. His grip is tight but I can feel him shaking.
“It’s okay,” I whisper as I rub his back, albeit hesitantly.
But I’m thoroughly confused. Because his actions aren’t matching with what I’ve been dreading. I get a feeling that I may have been assuming things for the past hour.
“I…” His voice cracks. “It’s not. I can hear what you’re thinking, baby. And you’re wrong.”
I am?
He leans back, giving me a watery smile. “Let me explain everything, okay?”
I give him a jerky nod before we settle on his couch. I find myself stupidly wondering if Iris has been here. The ugly feeling I’ve been trying to hide comes back full force. But I try to keep it down.
“Ten years ago,” he begins, my hands snug in his. “My parents threatened Iris to leave me. She did but gave me a letter that… seemed convincing enough. She said she was choosing her career over our relationship, and I believed her.”
I shift uncomfortably, willing myself to listen to him. Hoping I don’t start zoning out.
And then he explains everything. How he felt like he was missing a puzzle piece when Iris came back.
How she told him the truth about the threats just a few days ago at the party.
How the clause was an insidious attempt by his parents to control his life.
Something that was only introduced over eight years ago.
And how me digging into the financials due to the merger was an impediment for them to continue their secret activities.
How Sebastian finally came through and arrests might happen soon.
I frown. Dots connecting quickly.
“It was Iris, actually. She found me at the office today,” he says. “Told me how the marital clause didn’t exist when my dad took over when she was digging through the old mergers. And that’s how I found out about how the clause was a farce. Then my parents confirmed it.”
I blink rapidly. My brain unable to process what he just said. Revealed rather. “She… knows about the clause?” I ask, my voice barely audible.
“Yeah, I…” He pales, his throat moving on a hard swallow. “Baby, I…”
“How? Did you t-tell her?”
No, he wouldn’t.
I try to remove my hands from his. Utterly mortified that something so personal about our union was shared with her. I want to believe that Levi wouldn’t have told her. But his face says it all.
“Wait, no,” he breathes out a ragged sigh. “I mean, yes. I did. But—fuck—I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told her.”
I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks, my vision blurring with tears yet again. “When?” I whisper dully.
But inside, I’m already slipping into a place where his reasons won’t matter.
“It… it was when Grace and Iris had that impromptu meeting a month ago,” he admits, face red with what I can assume is shame.
I shake my head defeatedly. My mind reeling with uncertainty. He didn’t tell me about that meeting either. Taewon did.
She knew about the clause.
What a stupid moron was I, huh? She knew it when she had approached me during the contract signing that day.
When she casually said that we can be civil regardless of the past relationship situation.
She knew it then. Probably thought that my relationship with Levi was just driven by that clause.
I can’t even blame her. I’m thinking that too now.
Why else would he share something so crucial about us with his ex-girlfriend?
“I’m sorry.” He sounds panicked again, but it doesn’t reach me. “I’m so sorry, Cece. I shouldn’t have. I don’t know why I did. I regretted it immediately.”
I manage a shrug. My lips numb with defeat. “At least… she didn’t exploit it. And found that detail for you. That’s a silver lining, I guess.”
“Please, Cece.” His voice is frayed. “Baby, I’m sorry. I… please.”
I nod. “So, you’ll get rid of it?”
He lifts my face by my chin, his expression earnest. “Yes. And then we marry without that stupid clause hanging over our heads.”
My whole body screams no, and a confusing heat spreads. Even hope, but I shut it down quickly.
“But.” I lock my gaze on him. “Iris is back. You can—”
He shakes his head jerkily and suddenly I’m in his lap, his grip on my waist tight. I stay frozen in the blanket of his panic.
“Yes, she is back. But that was another ploy by my parents to break us up. You’ve gotta—”
“You still have feelings for her, Levi. So now you can—”
“No. No, I do not have feelings for her. I’m upset that my parents did that, yes. But…” He shifts me enough to watch my face. “What the fuck? Please don’t think that.”
“You… you didn’t deny it when I asked you a few days ago.”
“I did! I…” Realization dawns on him—recalling how he didn’t really say the words. “Okay, that was my stupidity. I don’t have feelings for her. I only have feelings for you. I love you, Cece.”
He believes it. I can see it.
But I can’t stop thinking about how he never shared his doubts with me. How I knew nothing about Iris and his weeks of speculation. How he didn’t tell me that she was his ex. How he stopped saying I love you. How he shared the clause with her.
I know he explained himself, but he still chose to leave things out. After promising that we were partners. And that he would.
Efforts reveal priority, and priority reveals intention. I wasn’t given either effort or priority. So his intention is pretty clear, isn’t it?
‘I wanted to find love… myself.’
Which he didn’t. This clause led him to me. And now its removal can lead him to someone he truly wants.
This clause is the reason we started and without it—he’ll be free. Without it, he wouldn’t have even considered me. I know this type of clause would take a long time to untangle from the presidency. So he probably still needs me to maintain the presidency.
I’m the safe option. Maybe even an inconvenient one—given that he only recently learned about my diagnosis.
“I don’t think you love me, Levi,” I whisper. “I think you just want to be loved by me. You’re chasing steadiness, simplicity. Convenience. Not… me.”