FIFTEEN
Levi
The kitchen island seems awfully hard under my elbows. The porcelain digging into my bones as I shift my weight again.
My eyes never stray away from the coffee packet I’m holding.
I was fully prepared for Monday. Hoping the familiarity of the week would somehow dull the ache Cece left behind yesterday. And then I found it.
The moment I opened the cabinet, I remembered. How Cece had stocked something there the day she returned from her Toronto trip. It was this.
My favorite coffee brand that I’d never actually voiced. I do remember teasing her about how this Columbia Cosmic Goose by Loki Roasters was a ten on the Cece-coffee-scale.
Looks like she had filed it in her memory.
Because why the fuck am I staring at my favorite dark roast with a vision that continues to blur every ten seconds?
Christ.
I messaged Taewon an hour ago that I’ll be taking the day off. But I have no clue what to do with this free time.
Other than—of course—reliving last night where Cece tactfully put a mirror to our relationship.
A relationship I’ve been undeniably failing to protect.
??????
“I don’t think you love me, Levi. I think you just want to be loved by me. You’re chasing steadiness, simplicity. Convenience. Not… me.”
My heart sinks to my damn toes.
She’s frozen on my lap. But then, in a blink, she removes herself from me. I watch as her eyes lose the brightness I love so much.
Come to think about it, she’s been gradually slipping into some place in her mind that seems to have locked me out. And I have no one to blame but myself.
I try to grab her limp hands. She lets me. Or maybe she’s too tired to protest.
“I know you think that,” I say, my voice cracking. “I know I’ve given you reasons. But it’s not true.”
Her gaze drops to our hands, entangled with her resilience and my raw pleas.
“Cece.” I urge her to look up at me. She doesn’t.
“Baby, I’m not chasing steadiness. I’m chasing your calm.
Being with you isn’t the matter of simplicity.
It’s… being with you is my goal that’s far from simple.
And convenience? Sweetheart, I’m chasing you with or without the clause. There’s no two ways about it.”
I hear her sniffles and they break my damn heart. If I’d been open to her from the start about everything, she wouldn’t feel this way. She’d be confident in her place in my life.
But I’ve been fucking up for weeks now.
She removes one of her hands from my loose grip and grabs her phone from her purse.
I wait patiently for whatever her next move is. But everything halts to a fractured pulse, the moment she shows me a text thread.
I feel bile rise up my throat when I read the text.
Unknown: Thought you should know who he is with when not with you.
The images attached make me want to throw the damn phone toward a wall. Someone sent this to her. And I have no doubt it was either my parents or Gareth.
“Explain the pictures,” she whispers so softly that I almost miss it against the roaring in my ears.
I let out a ragged breath, gathering my thoughts before I make another mistake of stupidly keeping things from her.
“The first,” I clear my throat. “The first picture is from your parents’ anniversary.”
“I gathered that,” she says, her voice thick with restrained tears.
I nod. “Taewon and I felt like she was avoiding my family even though she’s technically our consultant now. And I’d already been… suspicious about how she broke up with me back then. I just—sorry, baby, I just wanted to know whether my parents were involved or not.”
She frowns. “Did it change anything? After she t-told you?”
“Yes,” I answer quickly, too quickly, that I finally manage to summon her eyes to me. Eyes that are now welling up with something akin to defeat.
“I mean… I’ve idolized my parents—at least professionally.
I was conflicted and thought it all might just be Gareth and my parents had nothing to do with anything.
So I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that they might be interfering with our relationship.
You and I, I mean. I didn’t think they were capable of that.
So, the truth made me realize that they’re definitely the type of people who’d sacrifice their own son for their agenda. ”
She audibly swallows as she averts her gaze yet again. But I can see the discomfort flushing through her reddened face.
“They did it once,” I admit. “And they’re doing it again.”
The silence from her thickens the atmosphere. She doesn’t say anything for a while.
Finally, her fingers tap on her phone and scroll to the next damning evidence of my stupidity.
I cough out a wet sigh. “This… is from today. I-I’m so sorry for letting her get that close to me. I was spiraling after I learned that the clause was nothing but a tool for my parents to control my life and continue their fucked up activities. I was… I didn’t notice. I’m sorry.”
She clears her throat, setting the phone on the coffee table. But she stares at it with something close to fear. I can feel the hurt radiating from her.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat uselessly. “I should’ve told you everything from the start. I—”
“You said you wouldn’t let me be blindsided.” She cuts me off softly but there’s an edge to her tone. “And I’m… wondering if there’s more that’ll somehow catch me off guard because… because you failed to share. So, is there anything else?”
My mind whirls with the accusation. It’s true, though. I’ve let her be blindsided again even though I promised transparency.
I trace back to the day Iris came back into our lives and run through every interaction I’ve had with her. Anything I stupidly kept from my Cece.
My whole frame goes rigid when I come across a memory.
The dinner. That damned dinner I went to with both Astor and Wentworth VPs of operations. Taewon was there. But so was Iris.
I was so incredibly stupid in having her tag along.
Jesus Christ.
She wasn’t even officially our consultant back then. Just a vendor we had been reviewing.
I remember Taewon’s disapproving glare when I agreed to her joining us after my VP, Roland, invited her casually.
But all the color drains from my face when I recall what I did immediately after. I was walking with everyone to the nearest restaurant, phone in hand, absently typing a message to Cece.
Me: Sorry. Coquitlam complex causing a mess. Working late tonight with Tae.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Did I really cancel on her that night? Giving her a half-ass excuse that wasn’t entirely true?
“I’m guessing you remembered something,” she mumbles, studying my face with a mix of curiosity and wariness.
I have no plans on hiding. Not anymore. But I know this will hurt her even more. Fuck. I force the words out anyway. “The night I texted you about the Coquitlam Complex—that I was busy… I-I was at dinner with our VPs, Taewon, and… Iris.”
I expect wide eyes, surprise, maybe even anger. But I get none of it. Just a quiet defeated smile. I don’t want this. Christ, I don’t want her giving up before I’ve even tried to fix things.
“You canceled on me that night,” she whispers, nodding to herself.
A broken, dry sob escapes me. I’m losing her. I know it.
“She… I went to the bar to get a refill,” I continue, watching her frame freeze as she braces for some impact. “She followed me and said something about the clause and how my parents… how they were weirdly involved in my personal life.”
Her lower lip wobbles violently before she bites it hard.
But I can’t—won’t—hide anything. “That got me thinking about everything. I started going through memories, how everything happened ten years ago. I wanted answers. I felt like I missed something critical and—”
“You did,” she says quietly, without looking at me. “Well, I’m glad you know now. After reliving through a life you never told me about.”
Then she silences herself, almost in embarrassment. My eyes sting at the fact that she feels left out of the world I’d been sinking in for the last few weeks. Fuck. I should’ve told her everything.
“Can you get my car here?” she whispers.
Her body is shaking and I know she’s close to breaking. I don’t want her to leave. I want to explain, ease her pain somehow. But she’s not in a position. Too much has happened in such a short span of time.
And I clearly see her eyes growing more panicked with each beat of my heart. I can’t have her drive like this.
“I’ll drop you home, baby,” I say hoarsely. “I’ll give you time. Space. Whatever you need. Just…”
Don’t leave me.
“…I’ll drop you home.” Somehow I know I’ve made the right choice here. But it’s further confirmed when her frame relaxes a fraction.
We remain silent for the rest of the day. No messages. Nothing.
It takes restraining every cell in my body to leave Cece at her apartment. But I’m not sure whether it’s because I don’t want her to be alone or because I have this sinking feeling that if I’m not with her, I’ll lose her.
Utterly. Fully. Irrevocably.
??????
I jolt out of my Cece stupor when I hear a rather aggressive bang of my front door opening.
A moment later, I watch a frantically seething Taewon stride down the hall toward me.
“Tae—”
My words cut off when he angrily throws his iPad across the counter. A tab is open on his browser.
“What is this—”
“Read it,” he grits out, promptly shoving both his hands into his already disheveled hair.
I bring my attention to the screen. The more I read, the more rage fills every vein—every single cell of my blood.
What. The. Fuck.
It’s a news article posted merely two hours ago.
Astor Heir Caught in Love Contract Scandal
Sources close to the Astor family have confirmed the existence of a marital clause in Levi Astor’s engagement to the famous economist Celestine Wentworth.
Their engagement is now known to be a matter of Levi Astor being able to maintain his presidency at Astor Holdings.
And if that weren’t enough, an exclusive photo obtained by The Daily Ledger shows the Astor heir in an all-too-familiar embrace with a former
flame—identity unknown.
The whole article lays out the intricate details of the clause that shouldn’t exist outside of mine and Cece’s families.
It’s even prefaced by two pictures. One—of me and Cece at a random gala. Looking fairly nonchalant and distant. This was definitely in the early days of our relationship.
But the second image has my whole body vibrating in fury. My hands shake as I pick the damn iPad up, bringing it closer to the destruction that I feel—that I am.
It’s the same picture. The one taken in the Astor cafeteria from yesterday. The one sent to Cece anonymously.
The damning manifestation of the stupidity I could’ve avoided, had I been transparent with Cece.
Iris isn’t visible but it looks so indisputably intimate that I want to hurl the dinner from last night onto the counter.
And now I know why they chose that picture of me and Cece. To show the damning contrast to the world that our relationship was nothing. That it was a transactional error compared to the real-seeming rapport between me and Iris—the unknown ex-girlfriend.
Jesus fucking Christ.
What the fuck have I done? I may not have cheated but I gave the ammunition for this to come to life.
“It’s all over social media, Levi,” Taewon says raggedly. “This is nothing less than an irreversible, reputational hit on Cece.”
I stagger back a few steps, almost forgetting that I was half sitting on the bar stool—letting it unceremoniously fall to the floor with a massive crash. “W-What do I do?” I stammer.
“Fix this, Levi.” He yanks the iPad out of my limp, numb hands. “This has your parents written all over it. Take care of this. Call that Blackthorn guy—I don’t care. But fucking fix this.”
I stare blankly at his face, now twisting with disgust. At me.
Fucking hell.
“Call her. I know Noona is at her office today. Go to her. And I’ll take care of… Ms. Desmond.”
He almost spits Iris’s name out but I ignore it. All I can think of is whether Cece has seen this. She probably has.
And that thought has me drowning in the guilt that’s been building for weeks. I can’t imagine what she’s thinking. The thought of her breaking because of this, has me shaking in fear and finality.
I can’t lose her, dammit.
Even if the fucking world banks on it.