Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
HOLDEN
“ W e do?” She swallows and wipes at her tears, but her bottom lip is still quivering with the pain that her family just inflicted on her, and it’s all I can do to stay calm.
I wanted to rail at them. Scream at her dad. Demand that they apologize to her, and scoop her up and take her away where they can’t touch her.
But it wouldn’t have done any good, and it only would have hurt her more. And it’s now my mission in life to make sure that very little ever hurts this woman again.
“Yeah, we do. Number one, you won’t ever step in front of me again. You won’t shield me from danger. Not today or any other day.”
“They might have?—”
“And I would have dealt with it, but you won’t be caught in the crossfire, Millie. You won’t ever do that again. Do you understand me?” I cup her jaw and face in my hands, holding her gaze to mine, and it’s killing me that her lower lip continues to tremble.
“I just wanted to protect you from them.” The admission is a whisper, and it softens everything inside of me.
“I know, but it’s unnecessary. We stand together . ” I can’t keep my hands off her, so I brush the hair off of her cheeks.
“Can I get out of this truck and get some fresh air?”
I step back and help her down, and she walks about ten feet away, wraps her arms around herself, and stares at the mountains.
“This is the one spot that he never ruined for me,” I inform her and shove my hands into my pockets, gazing at my girl as she stares at my mountains. “It’s where I come when I need to think and be alone.”
“I have the same kind of spot over at our ranch, with the same exact view. You couldn’t have chosen a more perfect place to bring me right now.”
Thank God I didn’t fuck this up.
“The second thing I need to say,” I begin, and then I have to lick my lips and clear my throat, because she deserves to hear this, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to be met with white-hot anger.
“What?” She hasn’t turned back to look at me again, so I join her and stand facing her.
“I need to apologize and beg for your forgiveness, all at the same time.”
She scowls. “No, you don’t. You were amazing back there, Holden. So calm and confident, and you totally made me feel better.”
“Not for today,” I counter, shaking my head. “For eight years ago.”
She clams up and takes a step back, recoiling as if I just struck her, and the walls come slamming down over her eyes. Fuck.
“You defended me today,” I continue, hoping to God that she’s really listening to me. “No one in my entire life has stood up for me the way you just did. It was the most amazing, most arousing thing I’ve ever witnessed, and it humbled me. And I know that that’s exactly what you needed from me eight years ago, and I couldn’t give it to you.”
“Holden.” She closes her eyes, but I shake my head and cup her face in my hands again. She grips on to my wrists but won’t open those beautiful eyes.
“Look at me, baby girl.”
“Rule num?—”
“I don’t give a fuck about the rules right now. For this minute, let me just do this before I lose my fucking nerve.”
She closes her lips and gives a tiny nod as she opens her eyes. “Okay.”
“I know that if this is going to work out between us, I have to come clean about everything that happened before so we can truly put it in the past.”
“I know what happened. You were a complete asshole. You got in my pants, and then you dumped me. It’s really my fault. I was young and should have known better.”
“Stop. Fucking. Talking. You have no idea what happened after that night. After that amazing, perfect night.” I close my eyes and walk away, letting the terrifying memory fill my mind, and suddenly, Millie’s hand is on my arm.
“What happened, Holden?”
“My dad was waiting for me when I got home that morning.” I swallow hard against the nausea. “I don’t know how he found out about us, but he did. He ordered me to stop seeing you, along with a bunch of foul language that I won’t repeat. Because of your last name. And if I didn’t…”
I suck in a breath, and Millie rubs her hand up and down my arm soothingly.
“It’s okay. You can tell me.”
“If I didn’t, he’d kill both you and Charlie.” The words come out fast because otherwise, there’s no way I’d be able to get them out. “Jesus, I’ve never said that out loud before.”
She’s very still, and I turn to look down at her.
“He wasn’t serious.”
“Oh, he was absolutely fucking serious. My dad didn’t make idle threats. He didn’t give a shit about the girls, but he knew that Charlie and I were particularly close. And there isn’t anything in the world that I wouldn’t do to keep you safe. So, I had no choice.”
“You did, though. You could have told me. My God, Holden, I could have gotten my dad involved, and?—”
“You don’t understand.” I turn to her again and brush her hair behind her ear. “I couldn’t risk you, and I couldn’t risk my sister. There was no choice for me. I had to make you hate me because there was no other way I could have stayed away from you, and he would have followed through on his threat.”
“You didn’t just say something like, ‘You know, Millie, now that you’re headed back to school, I think we should cool it.’ No, I would have been heartbroken, but I could have lived with it. Instead, you told me that I was a child, insinuated that you thought I was lying about being a fucking virgin, and told me I was one of many, and that there was nothing particularly special about me.”
I swallow hard, hating myself all over again. Because she’s right. I did say all of those things. And just like it did back then, it makes my stomach want to heave.
“You were so ugly to me,” she continues, fury vibrating in every muscle of her body. “Are you telling me now that you didn’t actually mean any of it?”
“Fuck no, I didn’t mean it!” Her eyes widen in surprise when it comes out as a shout. “Jesus Christ, I was in love with you! I would have married you the next day. I was sick and furious and at the mercy of a man who would have killed all of my sisters if it meant keeping my dick away from a Wild . You have no fucking idea how terrified I was that he’d do everything he threatened to anyway, despite my promises to stay away from you. He terrorized me for eight more goddamn years until he finally died, and I hope he burns in hell.”
She’s silent, watching me with tear-filled eyes. The forest around us is also hushed, as if it also can’t believe what I just said.
“That’s really fucked up, Holden.”
I push my hands through my hair and stomp away, then turn around and come back to her.
“Which part?”
“All of it. So fucked up. I can’t even begin to count the ways.”
I nod and swallow hard. “You deserved to know, and now that he’s dead and gone, he can’t hurt you. He can’t hurt anyone ever again.”
“Including you.”
I look down and shake my head. “I’m not important here.”
“Bullshit. Don’t you ever fucking say that you’re not important again, Holden Lexington.” I love it when Millie gets all fiery. “Because you’re wrong. You are. I’m still mad at you, but you are . ”
“You’re still mad at me?” I can’t help but smile at her.
“Yeah. You were really mean, and I was young, and I had just handed over my V card to you, and I could have saved it for someone who wasn’t mean to me.”
I narrow my eyes on her. No, she couldn’t have saved it for anyone else.
I don’t want to even contemplate the idea of someone else touching her skin. Pushing inside of her. Hearing her little moans and groans and feeling the way she pulses around a cock.
Fuck that.
“Be careful, wife.”
“I’m just saying.” She swallows hard. She likes it when I call her wife.
“Well, don’t say that kind of shit.”
“I won’t if you won’t.”
Staring at each other, we both scowl.
“Come on,” I say at last and take her hand. “I’m taking you out to eat.”
“I look like a mess, Holden.”
“You’re always gorgeous, and you know it.” I help her into the truck and then get in, start the engine, and head back toward the highway. “Where would you like to eat?”
“I could really go for a big burger from Snow Ghost up at the ski resort right now.”
“I’ve never been. Let’s do it.”
Millie left her phone in the truck while we were talking at the ranch, which was for more than an hour, and she checks it now.
“Holy shit.”
“What is it?” I glance down at her phone and see her staring down at at least twenty unread texts.
“Everyone has been texting and calling. Ryan has threatened to track my cell phone to find me if I don’t call him back right away.” She rolls her eyes at that. “He’s so dramatic.”
“You should call him.”
“I don’t know that I want to talk to any of them. They embarrassed me.”
“He’s your big brother, baby girl. You should call him.”
She sighs and then gives in and taps the screen, sets it on speaker, and Ryan answers on the second ring.
“You can’t just leave and not answer me, Millie.”
“Uh, yeah. I can. What’s up?”
There’s dead air, and I can’t help but smile behind my hand. Leave it to Millie to keep riling up her brothers.
“I don’t know, I just thought I’d call and shoot the shit. See how your hobbies are going. Talk about the fucking weather.”
“Cool.” Millie smiles. “It’s been so rainy, hasn’t it?”
“Cut the shit, Millie. I’m worried about you. Dad was out of line, and it shouldn’t have gone like that.”
“It went pretty much the way I thought it would, Ry. There was no way to break the news gently.”
“He was still out of line, and I’m sorry for it. Now, tell me the truth, and I’ll know if you’re lying.”
She blows out a raspberry between her lips, and I’m still smiling.
“Fine. Yes, you were really adopted, and we’ve all kept the secret from you. I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner.”
“You’re a riot.”
“Aren’t I, though?”
“Are you really safe, Mill? Is everything okay?” His voice softens, and if I didn’t respect Ryan Wild before, this would have pushed me square into it. “You’re not there against your will or anything like that?”
“No.” Millie’s voice isn’t teasing anymore either. “Ryan, I’m really okay. I’m hurt after what just went down, but I’ll get over it eventually. I’m safe.”
Damn right, she is.
“If you need literally anything ?—”
“I know, Ry. Thank you. I love you, too. Thanks for not being a jerk like the others.”
He snorts out a laugh. “Talk to you later, squirt.”
She hangs up and lets out a long breath. “At least they’re not all dead to me.”
“None of them are dead to you.” I smile over at her. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Yeah. Sure. Feed me.”
“I’m on my way to do that right now.”
I drive her up to the ski resort, and with her instructions, I find the pub and restaurant called Snow Ghost . It’s a weird time of the afternoon, definitely a little too early for dinner, but all the emotional trauma that we just went through will make a person hungry.
There are only a few others in the restaurant, so we’re immediately shown to a table with a view of the slopes where the snow is still melting off, and Millie sets her menu aside.
She already knows what she wants.
I decide to just get the same thing that she’s having and set my menu on top of hers.
“So.” She leans forward on her elbows, but we’re interrupted by the waitress, who takes our orders, leaves waters, and then bustles away.
“So?”
“When are you going to tell your family?” Her beautiful hazel eyes are vulnerable, and, without hesitation, I pull my phone out and pull up the group text with my girls.
Me: Hey, guys. Yesterday went well. I married Millie Wild. Well, Millie Lexington now. I’ll tell you more about it later.
I set the phone aside and smile at Millie. “Done.”
She scowls. “You told them in a group text ?”
“Sure. They knew I was getting married. I just didn’t tell them to who. Now they know.”
“Through a text message, Holden.”
“Listen, I’m out to dinner with my beautiful wife. I don’t have time to call an emergency family meeting.”
My phone, sitting on the table by my elbow, starts to light up with responses from my sisters. Rather than answer, I turn the phone on Do Not Disturb and slide it into my pocket.
Millie’s mouth drops open.
“You’re not going to at least answer their questions?”
“Later.” I reach over and take her hand. “I told you, I’m having dinner with my wife. I do believe this is our first official date.”
“Oh, no.” She shakes her head adamantly. “Definitely not. We’re not calling this a date.”
“We’re out at a restaurant. Together. Alone. Pretty sure that constitutes a date, Mill.”
“No. Because I look like shit, I’ve been through the emotional wringer today, and I refuse to look and feel like this on our first date. You’ll just have to try again another time.”
She frowns as if she didn’t mean to say that.
“Actually, this is a sham marriage, so we don’t need to go on dates.”
“Millie?” I squeeze her fingers until she looks up at me. “Shut up.”
Before she can respond, her phone starts to ring, and I see that it’s Charlie, so I snatch it out of Millie’s grasp and answer it myself.
“Oh, my God, nosy Nelly, stop bothering her. We’re out to dinner. Leave her alone, Charlie, I mean it.”
“No, I need details. Millie Wild ? Oh, my God, this is fabulous. I love her! But her dad is going to fucking kill you, Holden. You’re not safe. You need to enter the witness protection pro?—”
I hang up on her, and before I give it back to Millie, I enter my number, assign my contact, and then turn it on Do Not Disturb and pass it over.
“You should talk to her,” she says, her eyes laughing.
“No way. I’ll answer questions another time. So, now that our families know, we don’t have to keep it a secret.”
“I didn’t plan on keeping it a secret. Jesus, I can’t lie for a whole year. That’s insane.”
Try your whole life, baby girl.
But all I say is, “Hmm,” and take a sip of my water.
She’s right, dinner is delicious up here. The burger is some of the best beef I’ve had, and the onion rings aren’t too oily.
By the time we leave the restaurant and make it down to the house, we’re both damn tired, and it’s not even six in the evening yet.
“If it wasn’t so late, I’d take a nap,” Millie says with a yawn as I unlock the front door.
“We can still rest,” I reply. “Go take a hot shower and get cozy.”
“Not gonna argue,” she says and does exactly that.
While she’s busy in the shower, I do my best not to think about her naked and wet, and instead, I change into relaxing clothes of my own and then find a bottle of wine on the kitchen counter and open it, pouring her a glass.
I pour myself two fingers of tequila and remind myself to pick up some whiskey.
I don’t usually drink this much, but today was one of the most stressful days of my life.
When Millie pads out of the bathroom, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
She’s not in the too-big sweats tonight. No, my vixen is in little blue sleep shorts with a barely there yellow tank top and a zip-up hoodie open in the front.
She’s a walking wet dream.
“Oh, wine.” She holds her hand out for the glass. “Good call. Now what should we do?”
I should strip you out of those pitiful excuses for clothes and fuck you six ways to Sunday; that’s what we should do.
And she must see it in my eyes because she clears her throat and sips her wine.
“Holden?”
“Yes, Rosie?”
“You’re going to call me that whether I like it or not, aren’t you?”
“Probably.”
“Fine.” She rolls her eyes and pads over to the couch. “Let’s watch something stupid on TV.”
“Why does it have to be something stupid?”
“Because I’m brain dead. I can’t follow something serious tonight. But maybe we can watch something funny.”
“We can watch anything you want. But you’re going to have to share the couch because I’ll get a crick in my neck if I try to watch TV from that tiny-ass chair.”
“It’s a big couch.” She shrugs a shoulder and scoots over, and I sit right next to her, my thigh against hers. And I rest my arm over the back of the couch, around her shoulder. “Holden?”
“Yep?”
“You’re crowding me.”
“Yep. Choose something to watch, wife.”
She rolls her eyes, but her cheeks flush with pleasure as she picks up the remote and aims it at the TV. It doesn’t take her long to find a Sandra Bullock rom-com, and then she holds herself stiff for a while, as if she doesn’t want to relax against me.
So, I just tug her into my side, kiss her temple, and whisper into her ear, “Just relax, baby girl.”
After three seconds, she does. She curls into me, and we watch this silly movie, and the day rolls through my head.
She defended me. To her family. She stood in front of me, which really pissed me off, but she only did it because she wanted to protect me.
God, I love this woman.