Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
MILLIE
I feel like I’m floating.
In fact, as I blink my eyes open, it occurs to me that I am floating.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you,” Holden whispers before kissing my temple. He’s carrying me and lowers me to the bed. I’m on top of the covers, but I don’t care.
I’m so damn tired .
I feel his calloused fingers brush my hair off my cheek, and then he presses his lips to my forehead.
“This might be the best dream ever.”
Is that my voice? All thick and husky and maybe a little needy. Holden chuckles, but then I doze again.
Until I feel the mattress dip, and then there’s my favorite fluffy blanket—the extra big one—draped over me, and Holden is next to me, and I can’t help but curl into his warmth.
Strong arms pull me in, and now I know that I’m dreaming because there’s no other explanation for Holden being in bed with me.
But I have to admit, it’s really nice.
So, I sigh and lean into this sweet, comforting dream, where Holden holds me with his arms wrapped around me, and I nuzzle in, feeling more content than I have in a long time, and let sleep wash over me once more.
It’s still dark when I wake up and turn over to check the time. 4:45.
I stretch my arms over my head and then turn to push my face back into the pillow. When I smell Holden there, I pause.
Why does my pillow smell like Holden?
I think he carried me to bed. I remember that. Aside from the ride on a cloud, I don’t remember much of anything else.
I was physically and emotionally exhausted .
After one more stretch, I get up and pad into the bathroom, and once I’ve done my business, put my hair up, and washed my face, I pull on my usual work clothes of jeans and a Bitterroot Valley Coffee Co T-shirt, then brush on a touch of mascara and lip balm before heading to the kitchen.
Holden’s there. His hair is wet from a shower, and he’s in faded work jeans that mold around his ass perfectly. His broad shoulders fill out that blue T-shirt, and I see that he has a flannel draped over the back of a kitchen chair.
When he turns, his devastatingly blue eyes narrow and sweep over me, as if he’s memorizing me, and then he smiles.
“Good morning.”
“’Morning,” I reply. “Thanks for taking me to bed.”
My eyes widen as I realize what the hell I just said.
“I mean?—”
Holden laughs and lifts a coffee mug to his lips. “I know what you mean. You’re welcome. You were out cold.”
“What time did I fall asleep?”
“Before eight.” His smile falls. “You were tired, baby girl.”
“It was a crazy day.” I shrug a shoulder and try not to think about my dad glaring at me and the silence from the rest of my family. My heart hurts.
“Would you like some coffee?” he asks.
“Nah, I’ll grab some at work. I have some tumblers if you want to take it with you.”
“We have a pot in the barn,” he replies. “It’s always full.”
He crosses to me and brushes his fingertips over my jaw before he holds on to my throat in that way he does that makes my murder hornets start to buzz. He held me like this before, too. Like he’s possessing me, claiming me, and I should probably pull away, but I can’t .
“You okay?” His thumb brushes along the underside of my jawline, and I can’t help but stare at his lips. My husband has amazing lips. “Mill?”
“Huh?”
“Are you okay today?”
“Oh, yeah. My heart’s a little bruised, but I hope my dad will come around.” Honestly, it’s more than bruised. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl, and the way he looked at me yesterday broke my heart into a million pieces.
“He will. Like I said, he just needs some time. I have to get going, but I won’t be late today. Do you have a full day?”
We’re standing in my kitchen, having the most domestic of conversations, like any married couple. Except, his hand is wrapped around my throat, sending signals to my core that should not be sent, and I want to lick him from head to toe.
“Baby?”
“Sorry.” His eyes are full of humor, and I can’t help but scowl. He knows exactly what he does to me. I lick my lips, and all humor flees from his eyes as they lower to my mouth. At least this lust isn’t one-sided. “I’m interviewing some girls today, but I’ll be done around three.”
He nods, then leans into me and brushes his lips over my cheek to my ear.
Oh, God, my knees buckle when he does this part.
“Have a good day, wife.”
And with that, he lets go and walks away, grabs his boots and hat, and then the door shuts behind him, and I have to cover my chest with my hand to try to quiet down the murder hornets and my beating heart.
Why do I have to be married to a goddamn heartthrob?
Aside from our wedding day, he hasn’t kissed me. Not really kissed me. He’s touched me and flirted and brushed his lips over mine, but it’s likely for the best that he’s keeping his delicious, addictive lips to himself, although part of me is disappointed.
No kissing isn’t one of my rules.
“Get over yourself,” I mutter as I grab my bag and keys and then lock the house up behind me as I walk into town.
It’s not supposed to rain today, and my coffee shop is only about six blocks away, so an early-morning, brisk walk feels good. Spring has definitely sprung, and the trees are budding with fresh green buds. Daffodils and tulips smile lazily from fence lines, and the air just smells good.
It’s almost time for my favorite time at the ranch: branding and taking care of the spring calves. I love the hard work of it, getting out there in the pen, roping, and vaccinating.
My footsteps stumble when it hits me that I might not be invited out to help this year. Not that I’ve ever needed to be invited before. It’s my home. It’s who I am.
But I’m not welcome there anymore, and it makes the bruise around my heart ache. Did yesterday even really happen? Did my entire family stand there and stare at me with so much contempt and disappointment?
Okay, that’s not fair. It was mostly Dad and Remington who were the worst. Chase wasn’t a lot better. Mom was confused, if nothing else. And everyone else was…quiet. Brady and Ryan tried to be the voice of reason, but my dad is the patriarch of the family, and what he says goes.
And until yesterday, that was okay because he’s always been a good, kind, strong, honorable man. And now, I’m not welcome at the only true home I’ve ever known.
“I guess I’ll be helping Holden,” I whisper and turn the corner on the block where my coffee shop is. It’s quiet this early in the morning, and I’m the only one out and about this early.
I like it that way.
The other huge bombshell came after the conversation with my family, when Holden admitted the way things really went down after we had sex, when he was cruel in the way he broke things off with me. All these years, I thought I’d been a joke to him. I was humiliated and heartsick, and I hated him with every fiber of my being. I was cruel in return. And yet, there was always chemistry there, and I’d started to soften toward him over the past couple of years because I couldn’t help myself.
But now I find out that he was forced to be horrible to me, to drive me away, all to keep me and his sisters safe.
Because his father was an evil, horrible son of a bitch.
And I don’t even really know how to process that. Am I supposed to toss out everything that was said and done, fall back into love with him, and give him my whole heart and soul again? A huge part of me wants to do just that. But the memories of how he laughed at me, how he looked at me so coldly and sneered, and made me feel like I was nothing is still embedded in my core memories, and I don’t know if I’m ready to trust that it wouldn’t happen again.
I don’t know if I’m ready to trust that my heart is safe with Holden Lexington.
I look up as the sun starts to lighten the sky over the mountains and feel my soul settle a bit. The mountains always settle me.
Bitterroot Valley is in my blood. My family, along with Holden’s, settled this area well over a hundred years ago, and we’re proud to be a founding family. I love my town. Even though I went away to college, I couldn’t get back here fast enough. I’ve always known that this is where I belong.
Once inside, I immediately start to tidy up, although Candy is always great about leaving the shop clean, and then I get ready for the day. After a quick trip down to The Sugar Studio to pick up the day’s pastries, I get the display case filled and then unlock the door to start the day.
“I’m so glad that Andrea and Macy worked out,” Candy says with a bright smile. “They’re just the nicest girls, and this will be the perfect job for them.”
“I’m glad, too,” I agree. “And with Hannah helping on weekends, since she’s still in school, and then more when her schedule loosens up, we should be covered through the summer. I’m going to look into what it would take for me to offer full-time employees benefits, to help entice more long-term employees. Being a small business owner in a tourist town isn’t easy, and it’s not easy to work in one, either.”
“That would be amazing,” Candy says. “But you know me. I’m with you no matter what, babe.”
“You’re the best.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders and squeeze as my cell vibrates with a text. “Do you mind grabbing some more vanilla and caramel syrup out of the back?”
“You got it.”
Candy takes off to the storeroom, and I pull out my phone.
Husband: My sisters forced me into a family meeting this morning. Just wanted you to know that they’re headed your way this afternoon. They’re happy, so don’t freak out.
I scowl at the phone. I didn’t have Holden’s number, and I definitely didn’t assign Husband to his name. He must have done it yesterday at the restaurant.
First, I type out a reply.
Me: Thanks for the heads-up! Glad it went well.
Then I bring up his contact info and change his name to Big Jerk , just to make myself laugh.
An hour later, after the lunchtime rush, all four Lexington sisters walk into my shop, grinning at me.
Well, except for Darby. She’s not watching me with open hostility, but she’s kind of giving me the beady eye.
And that’s okay.
“You’re my sister-in-law !” Charlie rushes around the counter and throws her arms around me in a huge hug. “I can’t believe it. I’m so happy. ”
“Hi, guys.” I laugh, and then I’m swept up into two more hugs, which surprises me and would normally make me a little uncomfortable because I’m not a huge hugger, especially with people I’m not close to. And then Darby’s eyeing me again.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Alex says to her sister. “Don’t be a brat.”
“She’s not,” I say and hold my hand out to shake Darby’s. “I get it.”
Her gaze falls to my hand, then lands back on my face before she reluctantly reaches out to shake.
“If you hurt him, they’ll never find the body. He’s too good to be dicked around with.”
My heart softens. “I will never intentionally hurt him.”
After a few more moments of watching me, she nods once. “Okay, then.”
“It sucks that you eloped,” Dani says. “Charlie would have thrown you one heck of a party. Oh, and we brought you flowers. Every bride needs flowers.”
Okay, that has my eyes stinging. My family threw us out, but his family welcomed me and brought me flowers.
Talk about emotional whiplash.
Charlie is the best wedding and event planner in the area, and I’ve seen what she can pull off, including my own brother’s wedding to Erin. She’s talented, and if I were to ever have such an event, I’d definitely want her in charge.
“Thank you.” I set the flowers aside and see Candy smiling as she restocks cups, doing her best not to look obvious about her eavesdropping.
I should probably have a conversation with her, but everything has happened so fast, I haven’t had time. I’ll do it today.
Holden’s sisters are beautiful. Like him, they have dark hair and blue eyes. Charlie is tall and thin, almost like a ballerina. Darby is shorter, with killer curves. And Alex and Dani fall somewhere in between.
When the four of them are together, they look like they should be on the cover of a magazine.
“We know you’re working,” Alex says with a smile. “But we couldn’t not stop in to see you after our chat with Holden this morning.”
I glance toward Candy again. I know that his sisters know that we got married because of the will, but Holden and I haven’t exactly talked about how we want to handle that piece of it.
So far, we’ve kept it between us.
Dani clears her throat. “Let’s plan on a girls’ night soon, and we can talk more. Welcome to the family, Millie.”
“And there I go, getting choked up again,” I say with a half laugh. “Thank you. And thanks for these beautiful flowers.”
We say our goodbyes, and I turn to find Candy watching me.
“I know. I need to tell you what’s going on.”
“No, you don’t,” she says, shaking her head. “It’s none of my business. I just hope you’re happy.”
“I’m…okay.” I nod slowly, thinking it over. “I’m not unhappy, but it’s complicated.”
“Honey, I grew up here. I know everything there is to know about the famous Wild-Lexington feud. I’d be shocked out of my mind if it was anything but complicated.”
I can’t help but chuckle at that, and then I look to the door when it opens and feel my heart stumble when my girls walk in.
Erin leads Summer, Polly, and Abbi into my shop, and tears fill my eyes, and I feel my cheeks flush.
“We would have come to your place last night,” Abbi says as she approaches, “but we figured you might need a minute since you didn’t reply to any of our texts.”
I can’t keep my lip from wobbling, and Erin circles the counter to pull me in for another hug.
Jesus, everyone is touching me today, and I’m not even freaked out about it.
“I love you,” Erin says. “We all love you. Nothing has changed.”
“I’m going to lock the door and put a sign up that says we’re closed for the rest of the day,” Candy says quietly. “It’s only thirty minutes early. You deserve privacy, Mill.”
“Thank you,” I whisper and let Candy handle it. “And you’re wrong, E. Everything has changed.”
“No,” Polly puts in as the others shake their heads, “it hasn’t. It’s only your dad that’s lost his mind. Even Remington asked him why he was being so cruel after you left.”
“Rem doesn’t love Holden,” Erin agrees, “but even he admits that no one holds any animosity toward him.”
“They don’t hold whatever his dad did against Holden,” Summer adds as she rubs a circle on my back. God, I love these girls so much. “Even Chase. He felt really bad last night. Couldn’t sleep. He spent a lot of time in his workshop, sanding shit down.”
“I’m just so mad,” I murmur and wipe the tears from my cheeks. “I wanted them all to stand up for Holden like I did. I mean, maybe not exactly like me, but I wanted them to try harder.”
“You might have given everyone the surprise of the century,” Polly reminds me. “None of us knew this was even a possibility. We’ve seen the hot looks between you two, but whenever he comes around, you call him a jerk and tell him to fuck off. You wouldn’t even talk about him, Millie.”
“Yeah.” I smile at that. “I did do that. Look, there’s a story here that’s too long to get into standing in my shop. It also requires a lot of alcohol. But I love you all for coming here. It makes me feel a little better.”
“We love you, always,” Summer says, reaching out to take my hand. “You’re our family.”
“Okay,” is all I can say when the tears come again, and then I’m in the middle of a giant group hug.
“You’re not kicked off of the ranch,” Abbi says. “Never.”
“If m-my husband isn’t welcome, then I’m not either. You’d feel the same way.”
“Who the fuck made my wife cry?”