Chapter 34
Chapter
Thirty-Four
Caelan lay motionless on my couch, a gold and green light swirling around him—Dad’s magic. His eyes were closed, his claws back inside his hands.
Tess sat on the couch, huddled inside a blanket, eyes wide as she took everything in.
“What’s going on?” I said as I came up beside my father.
“You were right.” Dad’s hands moved as his magic flowed inside the Shifter Lord’s body. “There isn’t anything wrong with him physically, but he isn’t seeing or hearing the same things you are.”
I didn’t understand. Mom touched my elbow.
“Caelan sees you as you are, but the words you say to him are not what he’s hearing.
He’s being affected by a powerful illusion.
” She shook her head. “That’s not quite right.
A glamour, perhaps. Not a spell, not one we could easily sense.
Someone extremely powerful has been messing around inside his head. ”
“Lugh,” I breathed.
Dad gripped something at the side of Caelan’s head and pulled, exposing a thin, wriggling line of grey and green magic. Simone, who had been silent this entire time, gasped.
“What is that?” she breathed.
“Magic,” Dad said grimly. “From the looks of it, it’s been inside him for a while.”
I sank onto the edge of the coffee table, the ramifications of what my father had just said rattling around inside my skull like jagged rocks.
“How long?” I croaked.
A heavy, warm hand fell onto my shoulder and gently squeezed.
When no one answered, I closed my eyes and let out a long breath. “How long?” I asked again, a frightened tremble in my voice.
That sickly magic struggled in Dad’s hands, but it was no match for a fae king. Once the last of it slid from Caelan’s temple, Cernunnos crushed it in his palms, sending a plume of black and green smoke into the air before it disappeared into nothingness.
Silence lay heavy over my living room. Caelan’s breath turned deep and even.
“Excuse me,” I said, lurching to my feet. The hand on my shoulder fell away.
A broken sob escaped me as I stumbled to the back and barely made it to the toilet before my stomach emptied.
I don’t know how long I was there, how long I was sick, or how long the words kept bouncing around inside my head.
None of it was real.
But that couldn’t be right. Some of it was real, wasn’t it?
All that time, all that effort. All those fights. When had it started going wrong?
And why didn’t I notice?
“Oh gods,” I whispered, backing away from the toilet to slump against the wall. My gaze landed on heavy, dirty work boots and slid up powerful thighs encased in worn jeans, a flannel shirt, and up to Garrett’s face.
“Go away,” I muttered.
“Is that an order?” he asked mildly.
I shut my eyes tight.
He sat down beside me. I cracked open an eye to see him adjusting his bulk to try to fit inside the bathroom. One leg was pushed up and the other was out the door, but he made it work.
“I know what you’re thinking right now,” he said, his voice low and gravely.
My sharp laugh echoed into the small space. “You can’t possibly know all the things bouncing around inside my brain.”
“You’re wondering how much of it was real.”
My lower lip wobbled, and I fought against the tears flooding my vision.
“You’re wondering if Caelan ever loved you or if you’ve been targeted all this time.
” Garrett let out a heavy sigh. “You’re wondering if you wasted your time on an illusion—if Caelan ever heard the things you’ve said to him or if he’s always heard whatever Lugh wanted him to hear.
What promises did you make to him? What does he think you’ve said to him? ”
I held up a hand. “Stop,” I croaked.
“Close enough?” Garrett asked.
I nodded miserably.
My…Enforcer? Guard? Whatever the hell he was, Garrett opened an arm, a silent offering of support.
I stared at it for a long moment before I scooted into his warmth and lay my head against my chest. He wasn’t Caelan.
Hell, a few months ago we were at each other’s throats, but the blood oath we’d taken earlier told me his offer was sincere, told me he was grieving right alongside me, and that he was wondering the same things I was.
How much of it was real? How much of it was a lie?
A sob bubbled from my throat. Garrett lay a heavy hand against the back of my head. “Caelan is still down. Your father and mother are guarding him. Let it out, Evie. No matter how this shakes out, you can’t let this turn into a cancer that eats you from the inside.”
The dam broke. My shoulders shook and hot tears flowed down my face. My throat hurt with the screams I’d been holding back, but I let them go. All the grief, all the pain, all the horror.
And when I was finished, and Garrett helped me stand and wash my face, I squared my shoulders and stared at myself in the mirror.
I’d walked through fire and hell and managed to build a life again.
I would not let this break me.
When I nodded to Garrett, he held the door open for me and led me back out into the living room.
The Shifter Lord was awake and from the way he was staring at me, way more lucid than he had been for a while.
“Evie,” Caelan breathed.
He reached for me, but I couldn’t bring myself to go to him. Instead, I sat on the edge of the coffee table. Garrett stood by my left, Simone on my right.
Caelan’s stormy eyes looked first to his Enforcer and then to his Omega. He nodded once. “I deserve this, I suppose.”
His eyes were clear, bereft of hatred or anger. Caelan mostly just looked…sad.
Defeated.
I glanced at Dad who was watching me with an unreadable look. “How long?”
“Hard to say exactly, but if I had to guess, I believe it was around four to five months. Maybe a little longer.”
My brain worked furiously. Knowing was a relief. He had cared about me, at least. The timeline was after we had met, after he began his dogged pursuit.
“Do we know why?”
“You can ask me,” Caelan croaked.
I couldn’t even look at him without wanting to curl into the fetal position and die. Shifting my attention, I stared at him.
“I’m me again,” he said softly.
Was he? Had I ever really known him? Would I like this Caelan? The doubt had settled inside me like an infection I couldn’t shake. “Do you know how long?”
He shook his head. “The magic was insidious. I had no idea anything was off until the last few weeks. I started feeling differently maybe two months ago. My sense of time has been messed up for a while. Decisions weren’t as easy to make, almost like someone was pushing back against my own thoughts.
I started losing patches of time. My anger was far worse than usual…
” His voice trailed off. “Evie, I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am—”
I interrupted, knowing I wasn’t strong enough to hear his apologies right now. “What happened to you was not your fault.” I looked at Dad. “Can you show him my memories?”
Dad’s lips tightened, even as his eyes filled with sympathy. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Does he remember everything?”
“He only remembers it as he saw it.”
Grief filled me. “Show him. Go back four months and take whatever memories he’s in. Show him the truth.” I paused. “My truth, at least. I—I’m sorry if you see anything weird.”
Dad snorted. “I’m immortal. Weird is irrelevant for all the things I’ve been exposed to.” He held out his hand. I linked my fingers with his and opened my mind.
Dad touched Caelan’s forehead.
Power burned through my soul as he rifled through the memories I had with Caelan and shared them with the Shifter Lord.
But he did something unexpected, he shared Caelan’s memories with me as well.
And by the time he finished, I realized most of the last three months of my life had been a lie.