17. Akari
Antonio huffed, glowering at me. "Man, you need to get it together and play the game right," he spat at me. He and Aisha were at my house, going off on me.
I deserved everything they were telling me, too. We were in my meeting room, and while they sat on the couch, I was looking out of the window, trying to get my thoughts together.
For the past three weeks, I played basketball as if I sucked. Although we were winning some of the games, we were losing like hell, too. If we kept losing, we wouldn't be going to the finals. That was something I didn't want to happen. If it did, it would be my own fault.
ESPN was having a field day with my name.
I was getting talked about badly. The negativity was still there when I was doing well, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it was now.
They were bringing up Avani too. I didn't too much know how to feel about that.
I wished they'd leave her where she was, and that was away from me.
Everything that was going on was her fault, too.
She messed my head up badly, and I didn't know what the hell to do about it.
I missed her a lot, too. She had been reaching out to me, but I couldn't reply to anything she was saying.
I wasn't ready yet. Every day, I had to stop myself from calling her back.
As much as I wanted to, it wouldn't change anything.
She'd probably still doubt me. I didn't need that type of energy around me.
"Akari! Do you not hear Antonio talking to you?" Aisha snapped.
I snapped back into the present and shook my head. "Man, I heard him, but what would it change?" I shoved my hands in my basketball shorts pockets and turned to face them.
"It would change a lot if you picked the phone up and call the damn girl. It can't be that hard to reach out to someone. You know you want to."
I shook my head, removing my hands. "Nah, I don't." Yeah, I really did, but he didn't need to know that.
"You need to stop basing your relationship on our parents. They got through what they had going on together because look at them now, back together," Antonio fussed.
I glared at him. "That's not what I'm doing.
You weren't in my relationship to know what the hell was going on.
Avani didn't trust me. She thought I would do something to hurt her.
That meant she didn't trust me. Why should I be with someone who thought I'd hit everything that walks?
Nah, man. I am big on trust, and she thought I wasn't trustworthy. Make it make sense to me."
I hated airing out my problems to my siblings, but they got me in line sometimes. We were known to put each other in our places, but they were making me feel bad. They had that right since they didn't want me to fail. Hell, I didn't want to fail myself.
"Okay, so maybe you need to ask why Avani feels like she can't trust you," Aisha voiced.
"I already know why she doesn't want to trust me. It's because of her past and her birth mother walking out of her life. She thinks I'd do the same thing," I muttered.
"But you did..." Aisha said, lifting an eyebrow.
I did, but I had a good reason for doing what I did. "Yeah, I did, and that's not something I can change now."
Antonio jumped up from the seat. "Yes, you can. Make it right! Go get your girl. It'll do both of you some good."
I grunted, not knowing what else to say.
"Well, she is doing well. She finished cleaning up her childhood home," Aisha blurted.
I guess they were still communicating with each other. That was good. Avani needed more people in her life, and she needed to know how to let others in. I loved that she was letting my sister in.
I ran my hands down my face and groaned. "All I wanted her to do was trust me, and she didn't. That is her fault, not mine."
They were silent, and that was for the best. I gave my all to Avani, but she made me realize that someone can have everything they want but would still find a way to talk down about it or want more.
I felt like I went out of my way to make her happy, but it seemed to never be enough.
What more was I to do? That was something I'd never get the answer to, but I didn't care anymore.
All I needed to do was get it together on the court, which was my main focus from now on.