18. Avani
I couldn't believe what I was about to do.
It had been over a month since Akari and I broke up.
It had been the hardest month of my life.
Since he hadn't returned any of my calls and texts, I stopped reaching out to him.
I couldn't look at anything he gifted me, nor could I drive the car.
I missed him so much and wanted him back in my life.
He had been playing much better than he had when we first broke up.
He seemed to be back to himself, and for that, I was proud of him.
I wanted to be the woman he shared his goals and dreams with.
I didn't want to be apart from him any longer.
As I stared at myself in the mirror, I sighed deeply, seeing that I lost so much weight.
I almost didn't look the same as I did before.
I wore a two-piece peach short pants suit.
My hair was styled in knotless braids with an updo bun.
Lip gloss coated my lips. I was ready to go get my man back. I needed him in my life.
"Okay, girl. It's time to go get your man. Don't let anything stop you," I coached myself in the mirror.
Hell, the only thing that would try to stop me is security. I just hope they didn't get in the way of me getting to him.
Today, Akari and his team were at Skyeville Community Center.
Every year during the summer, Skyeville had a Summer Blast. This year his team was giving back and helping out.
I already knew a lot of people were going to be out there.
It made me nervous to think about attending when it was going to be a crowd, but this couldn't be stopped.
I couldn't take my heart breaking again.
Every day without Akari, my heart shattered into a million pieces.
Something must get done, and I had to do it.
After I finished getting ready, I headed out to my car, trying not to look at the Range Rover. It would kill me to do so.
Thirty minutes later due to traffic, I was being instructed on where to park my car. Once I found a park, I got out of my car and walked around. Since many people were starting to know me since Akari and I used to date, I shield my appearance with sunglasses. I hoped that helped me.
His sister told me where he would be, and I almost turned back around.
I walked around and loved to see all the activities that were going on.
When I reached the venue where Akari was with his family, my heart hurt as I watched him.
He still looked fine as hell, and the twinkle in his eyes as he laughed at something was so sexy.
He didn't see me, so that was a good thing.
Since he was signing autographs, I was going to stand in line to get autographed by him.
It was a long line, but I would wait as long as I could. It didn't matter to me one bit.
When it was my turn, my heart throbbed in my chest. I thought it wanted to come out. Then I saw he had on the watch I gave him. That brought tears to my eyes. If I weren't thinking straight, I'd lift my shirt and tell him to sign his name on my heart. That was where his name was stamped by me.
His head lifted as he stared at me, and the smile on his face slid off.
"If I was crazy enough, I'd take off my shirt and let you autograph the skin close to my heart," I started, "but I don't want to give the people something that belongs to you and your eyes only.
So, I guess I'll do the respectful thing by getting your autograph on my neck.
The spot you love to kiss on." I smiled even though I wanted to cry.
His facial expression hadn't changed. I didn't know how the hell I was going to press forward.
I had people behind me, but I wouldn't move, not until he said something to me. That was the least he could do...right?
He got up from his seat and whispered something to his brother. He then walked away. Not knowing what else to do, I followed behind him. I didn't want him to walk away from me again.
"Akari," I called out his name when he entered the trailer with his name on it.
He paused but didn't turn around, but then he kept walking inside.
I followed until I was inside the trailer as well.
I closed the door behind me and peered around.
It looked good in here. It was all about him, from his favorite color to his style of decoration.
It seemed as if it was his home away from home.
He retrieved a bottle of water from the mini fridge, slammed it on the counter, and grabbed another one.
I guess the one he slammed on the counter was mine.
"Akari..." I tried again.
He held his hand up. "You showed up. You actually showed up." He shook his head.
"I wouldn't have missed this," I softly stated.
He scoffed. "Yeah, but you missed other important things in my life, though, right?"
I bit down on my bottom lip, not knowing how I was going to answer that.
"What do you want me to say, Kari? I messed up — big time.
I am a fucked up person for the way I treated you.
When I should have been trusting you with my life, I was only second-guessing us.
It was something I should have never done when you were giving me your all.
I can't say that I'm not flawed because I am, and I have fears.
But I'd like to let it all go. I can't be without you anymore.
I am so damn sorry, Kari. All of this is my fault, but I'd like another chance if you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
If you can't, then I'll walk away, and you'll never have to worry about me bothering you again.
" My nose burned from the tears that came forward in my eyes.
I couldn't let them fall. I just couldn't. I had to remain strong.
He only had his head bowed, looking at the floor. I didn't know what that meant, but I wanted him to say something to me. I knew I was wrong, and I admitted that. What more did he want me to do?
"I love you, Avani, and you cut me deep when you walked away from a game I was playing.
A game you knew I needed to win. I understand you have a past and your trust issues are all fucked up, but the only thing I had asked you to do was trust me — trust in us.
Why couldn't you do that?" Akari looked up at me then.
My lips trembled as I eyed him, taking off the sunglasses. I was trying my hardest not to cry. I couldn't go out like that.
"I don't know why I couldn't do it. Fear stopped me from giving it my all. All I saw was you giving in to those groupies and leaving me." I sniffed.
He grunted. "See, that's the problem right there... you not believing in me. When I was with you, I gave you everything, and not once did I ever have my mind on another woman. It has always been you."
I dropped my head to my chest as a tear slipped from my eye. "I'm so sorry, Kari. If I could change the way I handled things, I would. Even after a month of being away from you, I miss you so much." I sniffed, trying to get control of the emotions that flowed through my body.
It felt like he wasn't going to give me a second chance. That made my heart hurt worse. Gosh, I did this to him and wanted a chance to fix this between us. I prayed I wasn't too late.
I lifted my head and saw him getting off of the couch and walking toward me.
I didn't know what to do, so I stayed still and waited to see what he was going to do.
He came toward me, my heart pounding. It felt like he was looking into my soul, but I was unable to look away from him.
Akari cupped the side of my face in his hand, and I had to fight hard not to close my eyes and leaned into his touch. I had missed it so much.
"Damn, Avani. You fucked me up, man."
I lifted my head to peer into his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kari. I never meant to hurt you as badly as I did. When I hurt you, I hurt myself, too. I couldn't get over you, not even if I tried, and I wasn't. You were always for me. I love you so much."
He gave me a lopsided grin. "That's what I've been waiting for you to say to know that it's real.
I love you, Avani. I didn't know when it happened, but I fell in love with you.
That's a feeling I have never felt before.
Yet, with you, it came easy as hell. It's a feeling I want to continue to explore with you. "
My eyes widened. "Does that mean you forgive me?"
He laughed a little. "Hell nah. You have a lot of making up to do. You know how I like it."
I giggled a bit and shook my head. "I am sure I can work something out."
He lowered his head, and I met him halfway, and we locked lips. I sighed in his mouth, loving the feel of his lips against mine. When we pulled away, he embraced me, and I held on for dear life, never wanting to let him go again.
"I love you, Avani."
"I love you too, Kari. Are you ready to go back out? You still have more autographs to sign."
He grunted. "I don't want to, but I know I have to. But don't worry, later you'll be making it up to me."
I smiled brightly. "I'll be ready for you, no doubt about it."
He chuckled. "I had none."
It felt so good to be back in Akari's life.
I was happy he forgave me, and I was going to do everything in my power to never let what happened before happen again.
I had a feeling I was going to turn into a violent person about my man, but I was ready to be that person.
About Akari, nobody better not try me. I'd get real stupid on them.