19. Chapter 19 - Cole
I wake gradually, a headache looming in the distance, and realize my cheek is pressed to Emiliano’s lap. His hand is resting on my head, and deep, steady breaths are coming from him. I stay very still, not wanting to move yet, not wanting to alert him I’m awake. I know this is going to be an argument, and I’m not looking forward to it. I know I shouldn’t have initiated the fight, but the man really crossed a line. What kind of friend would I be if I let that slide?
Even so, I know Emiliano will more than likely be angry. What I did is not good for business, and he’ll probably order me to steer clear of that establishment for a while. I can’t blame him, and while it sucks, I can probably meet up with Amy outside of it. Plus, the fact I was drunk probably doesn’t help my situation with him. He’s always telling me to be in control—of my body, my emotions—and I definitely wasn’t. At the very least, he’ll be disappointed in me. I can’t say I blame him. Although I still wouldn’t change a thing.
Thankfully, I’m not drunk anymore. My head isn’t spinning, and I don’t feel like I’m going to be sick. I can also think clearly, which is great because I’m going to need every brain cell I possess for the conversation I’m about to have.
When I look at Emiliano over my shoulder, I see his eyes are closed, and he’s deep in slumber. The lamp on the end table is on, illuminating the room in a soft glow, and I get up. He feels my absence immediately, opening his eyes as soon as my back hits the cushions.
Emiliano looks at me with narrowed eyes, running a hand down his face, and my lips tip down in a frown. He turns his body toward me, his eyes still narrowed, and purses his lips. I just know he’s about to fight with me. I sigh.
“Get it out of your system,” I tell him, flinching back when he moves toward me. He scoffs. “I can tell you’re angry.”
“Angry?” he asks, and I close my eyes briefly and breathe in. I don’t want to fight with him right now, but I know it’s inevitable. “No, Cole. I’m fucking livid .”
“Why are you so pissed off at me?” I ask slowly. “I?—”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he snarls, baring his teeth, and I can admit he’s intimidating. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this angry. And really? Over a little fight? I don’t think it calls for this . “You fought with a customer.”
“He touched Amy,” I snap. “He called her a whore and said she should make time for him.”
Emotions flit through Emiliano’s eyes in quick succession, too fast for me to make out any of them. But he doesn’t seem appeased by this. “And you just have to defend her honor?” he asks me, but it feels like it has some kind of hidden meaning I’m not aware of. “Cole, knight in fucking shining armor.”
I snort at that, and he practically growls at me. “Well, I guess I am.”
“Why, hmm?” he asks me. “Why are you so invested?”
“She’s my friend,” I say slowly. “I would’ve done it for Matteo, too.”
Emiliano tenses at the mention of his son’s name, and I know I’ve made a mistake. “Yeah, I just bet you would.”
“What the fuck is your problem?” I snap, getting angry myself.
“YOU! You’re my problem!” he yells.
My eyes sting without my permission, and I look away. I’m never good enough for him; that’s what I’ve gathered so far. It doesn’t matter what I do. I always seem to fuck things up between us. It’s frustrating that I can never show him how much he means to me. Or I do, and it doesn’t seem to matter, anyway.
“Wait—” Emiliano breathes. “Don’t. Please.”
I look at him, and he shakes his head quickly, but it’s too late. A tear trails down my cheek, and he looks broken up over it.
“Don’t cry,” he says softly, grabbing me and placing me right on his lap, my legs straddling him. “I can’t stand it.”
“I’m never going to be good enough for you, am I?” I sniffle. “Never.”
“W-what?” He seems genuinely confused, shaking his head again. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
I frown, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. I don’t want to look weak in front of him, but he makes me vulnerable. “No,” I growl. “Tell me why you’re angry at me. I don’t think it’s because of the fight. It’s not, huh? So tell me.”
“Why was Amy all over you?” he blurts. “Why were you all over her?”
“We’re just friends,” I clarify.
“Friends don’t act like that.”
“Wait—” I search his honey brown eyes, darker because of the lighting. His nostrils flare as he looks at me. “Please tell me you don’t think I like her like that.”
“Do you?” he asks through gritted teeth.
“God, Em.” I groan. “I’m gay . I’m not attracted to women.”
Emiliano’s eyes widen, and his hands come to rest on my hips, gripping me tightly. He looks like I just told him I have a second dick, and it makes me chuckle. I’ve never even been with a woman. The thought of entering a vagina has never appealed to me. Ever .
He’s stunned to silence—clearly.
“I’ve never even been with a woman,” I tell him, and his jaw drops. “The thought grosses me out.”
“ What ?” His eyes widen in surprise. “Never?”
I shake my head. “It’ll always be men for me.”
He narrows his eyes at the way I word that, and he lets go of my hip and wraps his hand around my throat tightly. I can barely breathe, and it makes my cock kick in my jeans. Fuck. “It’ll always be me for you.”
“Y-yes,” I gasp, barely able to get the words out. “Always.”
“Let me clarify this for you, Cole,” Emiliano says softly, leaning in and biting my lip. He cups my cheeks gently, then kisses the tip of my nose. “You’re mine. I don’t want to hear about anyone else before me because there will never be anyone after me. I fucking own you.”
I nod quickly. “I’m yours.”
“You’ll always be good enough for me.” My heart clenches in my chest at his words, and his hands tighten on my face. “You’re perfect for me.”
“Fuck, stop.” My eyes sting again. “I?—”
“No.” He shakes his head. “You need to hear this.”
I breathe in deeply, and he continues.
“I want you just the way you are,” he whispers. “I need you just the way you are. And that’s never going to change.”
“Don’t be jealous,” I blurt out. “I only want you, Em. It’s only going to ever be you. I—” I shake my head. “There’s no one else for me.”
Emiliano beams at that, and I can tell he’s trying to hold back, but he can’t. It makes butterflies dance in my stomach, and when he leans into me to kiss me, I close my eyes to savor the moment.
The first press of his lips against mine makes my stomach flutter. I suck on his bottom lip, tugging roughly on it, and then we alternate until he’s doing it back to me. There’s nothing gentle about this kiss, and when I shove my tongue past his lips, he moans. His hands travel down to my hips, and he rubs my ass over his hard cock.
We rut against each other for a while, my lips never leaving his, until it’s necessary to come up for air. And then I get up and hook my fingers into his sweatpants, and Emiliano lifts his ass to help me out. I shuck his pants to the ground, trailing my fingers up his thick thighs, and Em spreads his legs to accommodate me between them. I get a prime view of his hole, and I wonder if he’d ever let me in it. Would he let me show him the wonders of a prostate orgasm? I don’t know, but I sure as hell will try.
Emiliano looks at me with lust in his eyes, and I want to show him why I’m the one for him. Why he should keep me. I want to show him how good I can make him feel, but mostly, I want to show him how much I care for him. How much I love him. I think I could do that through sex. But it also makes me wonder if that’s the only thing he wants me for?—
“What are you thinking about?” Em whispers, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. “Hmm?”
“Nothing.” But I don’t make eye contact, and we both know I’m lying through my teeth. I don’t want to bare my insecurities to him though. So I lean in and lick his slit, then suck the head of his cock into my mouth.
Emiliano yanks me off him roughly. “I asked you a question.”
“I—” I shake my head. “Do you only want me for sex?”
His eyes widen. “No.” He brushes his knuckles over my cheekbone, then cups my face. “I don’t.”
I nod slowly. “Are you going to keep me a secret?”
“No,” he replies, his fingers tightening. “We can tell Matteo whenever you want. My brothers already know.”
My eyes widen. “They do?”
“Yes, Cole.” His jaw clenches, and I suck in a sharp breath. “This means something to me.”
“This means everything to me,” I admit. “I wouldn’t survive you breaking my heart, Em.”
His eyes turn soft, and my heart flips. “I won’t,” he says with conviction. “I won’t break your heart.”
“Swear it,” I breathe. “Give me your word.”
His jaw clenches. “I give you my word.”
The way he says it lets me know he’s serious about it. I can tell he means it, and my body relaxes. I think about sucking his dick, but that’s no longer going to do it for me. I need him to fuck me. I need him inside of me. Right fucking now.
“Come on,” I tell him, getting up from between his legs and grabbing his sweatpants from the ground. I reach for him, and he grabs my hand, getting up from the couch. “Let’s go to my room.”
Emiliano squeezes my hand, and I halt, looking back at him. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” I smile softly at him. Trying to reassure him. “I want you to fuck me.”
I lead him to my room and lock the door, the sound loud in the silence between us. Em stands there, ready to follow my lead, but I just go to my drawer and grab a bottle of lube and my thickest vibrator, then place them on the bed. Before he can ask me what I’m doing, I begin to shed my clothes, and I watch with a smirk as his cock twitches. He wraps a hand around it tightly, then begins to stroke slowly, and my mouth goes dry.
Yeah, I’m really going to enjoy this.