18. Chapter 18 - Emiliano
I t’s midnight, and neither Cole nor Matteo are home yet. Are they together? Did they go somewhere? Matteo texted me saying he would probably be home late or not at all tonight, but Cole hasn’t given me an update. No signs of life. Not that he’s required to; he doesn’t owe me anything. Logically, I know that. But the other part of me wants him to do those things. Wants him to care enough about me to give me something. Anything . I want him to tell me what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with. Not because I demand it but because I’m important enough to him to keep me in the loop. And that’s crazy. I’m living in some kind of fantasy land with rose-colored glasses and heart eyes. What the hell?
I still can’t get the conversation with my brothers out of my mind though. The way they reacted, clearly thinking it was a bad idea even though they agreed to support me. Logically, I know this will more than likely blow up in my face. That I could potentially lose my son and never get him back. That I could lose Cole because of someone trying to get back at me for something. That I could be seen as weak now. But none of those reasons seem to snap me out of this little infatuation I seem to have with Cole.
I care deeply for him, and I can’t seem to wrap my head around that fact. If someone would’ve told me this a month ago, I’d be laughing my ass off and telling them they’re insane. But here I am, not long since he’s been released from prison, pining and begging and longing . For him, for anything he’ll give. It’s not purely sexual, even though I wish it were. It sure would make things easier for me. I wouldn’t have to come out to Matteo, and everything would be alright. We’d move on after it was over, and no one would know about it. But that’s not what’s happening here. Not even close.
Instead, I’m thinking of the future with him by my side. As my partner. My equal. Am I crazy for that? Seeing a future with him? I know how he feels about me, and I know I could reciprocate those feelings. It’s only a matter of time before I get there. I’m already feeling more, wanting more from him. It makes no sense, yet it does all the same. I just can’t seem to get enough of him or stay away.
My phone vibrates on top of the couch cushion right next to me, and I inhale sharply at the name across the screen. It’s the brothel. They only ever call me at this time for emergencies. I really don’t need this right now. I don’t want to have to leave the house to go put out a fire. I want to wait for Cole and get in bed with him. Hold him all night. Maybe fuck him a couple of times.
I sigh, answering the phone. “This is Emiliano.”
“Yes, Mr. Colombo.” The bar manager’s voice comes through, and I frown. “Cole is here waiting for you to come get him.”
I sit up quickly, making myself dizzy. “Why?” I ask with urgency. “What happened? Is he okay?”
“He’s fine,” the manager says, and I deflate, sitting back on the couch cushions once more. “He got into a fight with a client.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose tightly because of course he did. “Why?”
“It’ll be easier to watch than for me to explain.” He sighs, and I nod, even though he can’t see me. “I sent you the clips to your email.”
“Much appreciated,” I tell him. “I’ll send my car for him. Make sure he doesn’t go anywhere.”
“I don’t think he can,” the man tells me, and I frown. “He’s really wasted.”
“Thanks again,” I tell him, then hang up.
I immediately go to my email, clicking on the clips from tonight. It shows Cole and Amy meeting up at the bar, hugging, then sitting together. I can’t hear what they’re talking about, but Cole looks really happy, and Amy looks fucking cozy with him. She keeps putting her hand on top of his, leaning over into him, and just making him laugh in general. I don’t like it one fucking bit.
A shiver runs down my spine, and I grit my teeth. They’ve been friends since high school, I know that. When she came to work at Luna’s Den, it was due to Cole’s recommendation. Since then, she’s made me a lot of money. She’s the most popular girl we have, and it won’t bode well if I snap her little neck. I guess I’ll have to wait for an explanation from Cole before I take matters into my own hands. I can be mature. I can be patient. Kind of.
The clip changes to a dark-haired man putting his hand on Amy’s shoulder and her tensing up. Words are exchanged between her and the man, then the man and Cole. Then my man gets up from the barstool and throws the first punch. I can tell it hurts the stranger with the way he grimaces, and I grin. Cole has always been a fighter—always. He learned how to use his fists when he went to live with Luca. So why is it bothering me now? Is it because of the reason for the fight? Because it’s over a woman?
Cole stays in place as the man rights himself, and then the man is punching Cole back. It’s as if he doesn’t even see it coming—he must be really drunk—but he barely stumbles back a step. And even though I can’t make out what he tells the other man, I know Cole is trying to goad him. That is, until they’re permanently separated by the bar manager. Amy looks guilty, yet relieved, all at the same time. It makes me want to throttle her. Why the hell is Cole losing his shit over her?
I text Luca, letting him know to go to the brothel and pick up Cole, giving explicit instructions to not make any stops or detours. To bring him back home to me immediately. If Luca suspects something is going on, he hasn’t brought it up. He’s discreet, loyal, and values his life. I can admire that about him. I’m also grateful because the thought of explaining to someone where I stand with Cole when I don’t even know is nerve-wracking.
My hands begin to shake with my anxiety the longer I sit here, and I don’t really know what I’m so stressed about. Or maybe stressed isn’t the right word—scared is. I’m afraid this thing between Cole and I is over. What if he made up his mind and no longer wants to be with me? What if I’m putting my relationship with my son at risk for someone who isn’t even sure of me? But no, Cole has been persistent. He’s sure of me, I know it. Yet the thought of him changing his mind terrifies me.
I get up from the couch and begin to pace the length of the living room, going to the floor to ceiling windows and taking a peek out at the city. From this high up, it looks incredible. I don’t get a lot of time to admire it though because the elevator suddenly dings and the doors open.
Cole stumbles in, swaying roughly from side to side, and even though I don’t want to help him, I also don’t want him to fall on his face. I walk quickly toward him, wrapping an arm around his waist and leading him to the couch. He plops down on it, and I stand in front of him, arms crossed over my chest. I wait for him to look at me, but he’s so wasted he can barely keep his eyes open. It pisses me the fuck off. But I find myself sitting on the couch next to him, then pulling his head down to my lap.
Cole goes down easily, pressing his cheek to my thigh and closing his arctic blue eyes. I thread my fingers through the soft strands of his hair, loving the way it feels, and he sighs. What would Matteo think if he came in right now and saw us like this? Would he suspect us? Or would he think I’m just being nice to Cole? I kind of want him to show up and put us out of our misery. I don’t want to lie or hide anymore. He’s the only person left to figure this out, and it needs to happen already. My life would be so much easier if I didn’t feel like a fucking traitor every minute of the day. I know I’d still be a traitor if Matteo knew, but at least I wouldn’t have to hide it anymore. I could be a traitor out in the open.
My fingers get stuck on a knot in Cole’s hair, and I gently loosen it and continue threading them through his hair. He hums, the vibration going up my legs, and I inhale sharply when he runs his hand over my thigh and rubs it.
“Baby,” Cole hums. “I missed you.”
“Sleep,” I reply stiffly. “Then we’ll talk.”
“I’m horny,” Cole grumbles, and I roll my eyes. “Help me.”
“You’re always horny,” I remind him, even though I want to choke him out and demand an explanation for what just happened at Luna’s Den. “Get some sleep.”
“Only if you promise to fuck me later.”
“I—” I shut my mouth. Will I fuck him later? It’s a good question. I can’t promise him anything. What if we break up because of this? What if he betrayed me? “Cole?—”
But he’s already snoring lightly, and my body deflates.
Thank God.