34. Chapter 34 - Emiliano
I t’s been a week since Cole and I got engaged, and I’ve never been this happy in my entire life. I guess being in love for the first time will do that to you. Living in our new home is going well. We’ve had all of our furniture delivered, and we’ve unpacked most of our boxes. We’re almost settled in, and everything feels right in my life right now.
Cole lights up the Christmas tree every single night as soon as it gets dark outside, and we watch a romantic comedy before bed without fail. I do it for him, because I think it’s cute, even if I’ve never been a huge fan of them. But the thing is, I’d do anything for him. I think I’ve already proven it, but I feel the need to continue proving myself every single day.
According to him, he still can’t believe I asked him to marry me. He had his doubts, I guess. I can’t blame him for it, considering the situation. Especially the issues with Matteo. But I didn’t take our relationship lightly, and when I promised him forever, I meant it. Asking him to be my husband felt right, no matter how soon it was. My brothers were all surprised. Well, everyone but Giovanni. He thought it was the funniest thing ever. Said I was dick-whipped and honestly I couldn’t even deny it.
The least I can do is make Cole happy, considering we both lost someone important to us because of our relationship. I never want to make him doubt if this was the right decision for him, so I’ll do everything in my power to make sure he feels cherished and loved every single day of our lives.
The only thing putting a damper on my day was Matteo reaching out to me to let me know he is interested in meeting Natasha. He said he wants to be the one to reach out to her, though, and I don’t know how to feel about that. I’m nervous, that much I do know. I don’t think she wants to hear from him, and he’s going to get hurt. But now I know nothing can happen to her, and I will protect her for him. Cole won’t be too happy, but he’ll understand. I think he’s already resigned himself to that reality.
Matteo is also coming to the company’s Christmas party tonight. Cole and I are already here, mingling, but my son is nowhere to be found so far. I don’t know why he’s coming anyway, don’t know how I managed to convince him. I won’t lie, I’m a little scared he’ll make a scene when he sees Cole’s ring, he’s not above doing that. That’s the last thing I need, though. I don’t want my employees to know my personal life or just how messy it is. Though I bet they’d eat that shit up.
Speaking of my employees, everyone is enjoying themselves. We throw this party every single year, and we go all out with the plated style catering and even a dance floor. It’s a formal event, black tie, and it never disappoints. This is the first year that Cole has come, and I’m excited to have him on my arm and introduce him as my fiancé.
I look around the room and take in the decorations, smiling to myself. Everything looks amazing. Long tables are lined up with about twenty guests each. Poinsettia garlands drape over the tables on top of the tablecloths, and they drag down to the floor. There are tapered candles setting the mood as well, and white peonies hanging from a chandelier above each table. Everything is breath-taking, and it makes me wonder what kind of wedding Cole wants.
Taking Cole out to the dance floor, we slow dance to You Make it Easy by Jason Aldean. We look into each other’s eyes the entire time, tuning the rest of the world out, and I lean in and kiss him. It’s languid, unhurried. Our lips meet in a familiar dance, and he wraps his arms around my neck as he sucks on my bottom lip. We keep the tongue to a minimum considering where we are, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. I guess we can both be professional, about nine percent of the time.
We pull away from each other just to find Matteo staring at us, his eyes wide. I mutter a curse and turn to Cole, who’s looking right at his best friend, too. He moves as if he’s going to go talk to him, but I halt him with a hand on his arm. Announcing our engagement to him should be done by me. So I walk toward Matteo with purpose, and he narrows his eyes at me.
“Really, Dad?” Matteo asks lowly. “You invite me just to rub this in my face?”
“I need to talk to you.” I tell him, and he raises an eyebrow. “It’s about Cole.”
“What more could you possibly have to say?”
“We’re engaged,” I reply, and his eyes widen once more. “I’m sorry—I just didn’t want you to find out another way. I needed this to come from me.”
“So it’s that serious?” he asks, venom in his voice.
“Yes, it is.” I sigh. “A spring wedding.”
“Unbelievable,” Matteo scoffs, and I flinch. “This is absolutely insane. You’ve barely even been with him.”
“I know him, Matteo.” I rebuke . “This is what I want—what we want. Does it matter that we’ve only been together a few months? Not to us. We both know what we want, and I don’t want to play the long game.”
“Wow.” He chuckles. “Just when I thought I couldn’t hate you more.”
I flinch, and he smiles. “You can’t mean that.” I shake my head. “What can I do to make this better? Did you think about therapy?”
“I have.” He nods slowly. “I just don’t know if it’ll help any.”
“You can’t know unless you try.”
Matteo looks at me with tears in his eyes, and it breaks my heart. “I don’t know, Dad. Okay? I’m not sure what I want to do.”
“I can wait,” I whisper to him as people get closer to us. “ Please .”
“I want to talk to Cole,” he replies, and my stomach drops. “Then I’ll make a decision.”
That leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Jealousy consumes me, and I know it’s fucking irrational. What if he convinces Cole not to marry me? What if he steals him away from me? No. Cole wouldn’t do that to me. Right?
“I’m going to talk to him,” he tells me again. “Whether you want me to or not. We both know he wants to, and I need to hear it from him, Dad. I need closure.”
“What kind of closure?” I narrow my eyes at him. “Don’t you dare?—”
“What?” He rolls his eyes. “Don’t you dare kiss him? Fuck him?” I bristle, and he smiles. “Don’t worry, Dad. He’s a loyal guy. I’m sure he wouldn’t do that.”
I nod. “He is.”
“But it won’t stop me,” Matteo tells me, and I swear my stomach bottoms out. It’s about to fall out of my ass. “I need this, Dad. It’s the only way I can move on.”
“What a way to move on,” I mutter. “Maybe this is a bad idea.”
“Oh, now you want to change your mind?” His smile is saccharine. I’m about five seconds tops from wringing his neck. “I thought you wanted me in your life.”
“Not at the expense of my marriage, Matteo.”
“You’re not married yet.” He shrugs. “He’s free to make his own choices. And who knows, Dad? He might just pick me instead. I’ve seen the way he looks at me. Like he’s fucking dying without me. If you think he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore, then you’re fucking delusional.”
He’s not wrong, and that’s what kills me. Cole has been a mess without Matteo in his life, and it’s made me wonder if his feelings went beyond friendship. I can’t think about that too much. I fucking proposed. I asked him to spend the rest of his life with me, and he said yes. I have to trust that he loves me. That we’re in this together. That something like Matteo begging him to come back won’t break us. I have to trust that our relationship isn’t fragile.
Even if it kills me.
“Do what you need to do,” I reply grimly. “But after that, you’re going to therapy with me, and we will fix this. You’ll be a part of our lives again.”
“I can’t pretend nothing happened, Dad.” He chuckles, but it holds no humor. “You can’t expect me to do that. I’ll make amends with you. I’ll go to therapy with you. But being around Cole is too painful, and I don’t know how long it’ll take me to come around.” A tear slips down his cheek and he wipes it angrily with the back of his hand. I know it bothers him to show me weakness. “He’s the love of my life.” His voice cracks. “You can’t expect me to watch him live his life with… you .”
I get it, I really, really do. I don’t blame him. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that it hurts so fucking bad. He’s going to get closure from Cole and then abandon him, and it’s going to destroy both of them. I don’t want him to do this, but I don’t know how to make it stop either.
“Don’t leave him forever.” I swallow past the knot in my throat. “He won’t survive it.”
“And I won’t survive seeing him happy with someone who isn’t me.”
“You can be strong, Matteo.” I sigh. “He’s not. He watched his mother get beat to death. He lost everything and everyone. And who saved him?—”
“You did,” he huffs. “You got him out of there. You brought him to me . You fucking did this.”
“ You saved him.” I shake my head. “You’re the one who took care of him.”
“You stole him away.” He looks away, and I can’t help but agree with him, so I nod. I know I did that. I took him. And nothing will ever change that fact between us. “You stole the only good thing in my life.”
“I—I’m so sorry, Matteo.”
“Sorry isn’t good enough,” he says lowly, “I’m going to go talk to him now. Please give us some space.”
I nod, but he doesn’t even look at me before he walks away. He goes straight to Cole, who’s standing at the edge of the dance floor, and when Matteo approaches him, a tear slips down his cheek. Matteo wipes it away with his thumb and grabs Cole’s hand, and Cole accepts it, walking behind Matteo as he pulls him away from me.
My heart is in my throat as I watch them head outside, but I don’t follow. I said I’d give them space, and I’m going to do it. Even if it’s killing me inside. I walk toward the bathrooms, my pace hurried as I feel my face heat. I hope I don’t make a fucking fool of myself by crying in front of my guests. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. I’m going to lose him. I might lose them both. All I can do is hope that I’m enough for Cole. That he doesn’t leave me. That he loves me just as much as I love him.
But what if he doesn’t?