Chapter 9 What Are We Now
-Annie-
After the blow-up with Miles, I walk back to the party.
I am trying not to focus on the eyes of my classmates following me or the girls leaning together, whispering, and looking in my direction.
I wanted to kiss Daniel: I enjoyed kissing him, and I’m not ashamed about it.
Would he try to kiss me again? Now that was the real question.
If my brother ruined this for me, I am going to find a way to embarrass him in front of the whole school, or maybe the whole town…
why stop there, the whole state! I look at Daniel as I approach.
He is in the same place, laughing with some of the football players, but as I get closer, I catch his eye and he directs all his focus on me.
A smile breaks out across his face, and I earn that wink.
I can feel the smile on my face, and I walk over, feeling more confident with each step closer to him.
“Is this seat taken?” I ask him. He looks me over in a slow review, then pulls me down into his lap.
This time, sitting in his lap feels different.
I’m closer with no space between the side of my body and the front of his.
Daniel has wrapped his arm around me and is running his fingers along the space between where my jersey ends and my jean shorts start.
His fingers are warm over that small piece of skin, and I can’t help but want a little more.
I look over to Meg and Drew, who are a little more snuggled up than when I left.
Drew's arm is around her waist, and he is without his shirt. I can’t lie, I do notice that he is toned in all the right places, the shadows from the fire catching the lines of his abs as I look.
Then I try to look away, because why was I even checking him out?
Why was I checking him out? My brain is in hyperdrive, so I focus back on the fact that Meg looks happy next to him.
I’m going to have to ask her about this tomorrow.
She has been asking me a little more about baseball over the last week.
I should have been suspicious, but we’d had lunch with baseball players for years, and I thought she was just trying to be included in the conversation a little more.
Now, looking at her on Drew’s lap, all the pieces connect; this girl was playing the long game. Way to go, Meg, I think.
I’m brought back to the present with Daniel whispering in my ear, “So, about that kiss.” I turn to look at him, and he is smiling, but his eyes are drifting down to my lips and back to my eyes.
I lick my lips, remembering his lips on mine, and my eyes go wide.
I know I should be speaking, but I’m enjoying just looking at him, looking at me.
His free hand reaches and lays against my neck, and he gently pulls me forward.
This time, he is the one kissing me. It sends shivers down my spine and heat over my body.
I sigh, opening my mouth a little, and he takes this as an invitation to run his tongue along my bottom lip.
It feels good, so I repeat the move with my tongue on his lip.
I’m not sure how long we kiss, but when he pulls back to look at me, I am breathing a little hard and my heart is racing.
He winks, and I know I smile. This is starting to become a pattern I can get used to.
He releases my neck, and I turn back to my friends still playing the game of Truth or Dare and rest my head against his shoulder.
Who knew parties could be so fun? I make myself a promise: I’m going to make an effort to come to more parties this year. After all, I am “rebranding.”
Time feels like it has passed too quickly.
Before I realize it, Miles is standing and making the look at the clock motion to me.
I check my phone and it’s 11:45; with curfew at midnight, it’s time to go if we want to get home in time.
I move to stand, and Daniel helps me with a little push of his hands.
He moves while giving his friends a nod before his hand takes mine again.
Daniel asks his brother if he’s coming, and Drew asks Meg for a ride.
She is trying to play it cool, I know, but I can see the grin on her face when she says, “Sure.”
Daniel leads me to my brother's car, with our hands intertwined the whole time. My hand feels small in his, and I like the feeling. Up to this point, I haven’t been involved with football players.
I’ve dated a few guys, but they had been fans versus players, and it’s easy to feel the big differences already.
I can’t help wondering what else will be different.
***
At the car, Daniel opens the door for the backseat, and I scoot in with him following me in before shutting the door.
I make to scoot to the empty seat that Drew had been in on the drive here, but Daniel wraps his arm over my shoulders and pulls me against his side.
I’m not going to fight it because I like the fact that he doesn’t want to let me go.
Looking forward, I can see my brother’s reflection in the mirror and his pinched eyebrows.
I just give him a big smile in return. He is not going to make me want this any less.
Miles drops off Steph first; it isn’t lost on me that he walks her to her front door, and it takes at least a few minutes longer for him to return.
While he is away, I lean my head on Daniel’s chest, wrapping my arm around his waist. It’s not the most comfortable position, but I’m not pushing my luck with Miles.
This is nice, and I’ll take what I can get.
I do watch the clock slowly counting down to midnight.
Our house is only five minutes away, but I’m starting to get concerned that we will break curfew if my brother doesn’t make his way off that porch.
But then Miles appears, jumping in the car, and we head towards home.
I break the silence. “We are going to miss curfew after my first party, Miles.” He makes eye contact with me in the mirror.
“Dad only cares that the car is in the driveway at midnight, we’re fine.
” And true to his word, we pull into the driveway at midnight.
Dad opens the front door, giving Miles the thumbs up, and shuts the door.
Miles looks back at me, all smug. “Told you.” “Ok, ok, but that was close and you know it.” My brother laughs and lets me know he knows exactly how long it takes to get from Steph's house to ours. I hold out my hands to stop him. I don’t want any more details about his activities with Steph.
We all get out of the car, and Miles heads towards the door.
When he notices that I’m not right behind him, he turns.
“Dad will notice if he doesn’t hear you come in with me.
” “Well, cover for me like I’ve covered for you.
” Letting out an annoyed sigh, Miles says, “Five minutes, Annie. Then it's on you.”
***
Daniel looks amused when I look back at him.
“So, I guess you are the good girl that everyone has been saying you are. I’ve heard references to your ‘first party’ all night—your brother seems to be on high alert and now watching you freak out about curfew.
” “Ok, yes, tonight is the first football party I’ve been to, but…
” I trail off, thinking fast because I don’t want to sound lame, but it's all true: all firsts. “But…?” he responds, fully turning to face me. I’m between the closed car door and Daniel.
We haven’t moved much since getting out of the car.
He takes a step closer, and I feel my back against the car.
“I’m rebranding,” I blurt out because I don’t have anything else to say, and it's true, it is the main focus of my junior year so far, even if the only person who knows it is Meg. “Rebranding, that’s interesting. What does rebranding mean, Annie?” It is probably my brain making his voice sound deeper, right?
I shake my head to try to lift the fog that has made me delay and lean my head back to look at his face.
Standing up now, his size is more noticeable.
Looking up at him, I want him to kiss me again without anyone watching, but he is just looking at me, waiting…
Oh that’s right, he asked me a question.
“It means that I’m not going to back down.
It means I’m going after what I want.” Daniel takes another step closer, and now I’m pinned between the car and his body.
I can feel his hard muscles against my curves and the warmth of his skin against me.
My hands have moved to his pecs. “Glad to know you want me, Annie,” he chuckles before he wraps his hands into my hair and gives it a small yank to direct my face into the correct angle before his mouth descends to mine.
I thought the other kisses were hot, but this one, without witnesses, is earth-shattering.
He doesn’t wait for me to open; he uses his tongue to open my mouth and slide inside.
I respond with my tongue running along his mouth, and I know I moan, it feels so good.
My hands, which had once been resting on his chest, are now gripping his shirt and pulling him against me.
I am lost in this kiss, all the sliding of lips, tongues, and the feel of his hands wrapped in my hair.
As it continues, he releases my lips with his own before he kisses across my jaw.
He gives another little yank to turn my head as he kisses his way to my ear, then down my neck.
It leaves a path of fire over my skin and goosebumps over my whole body.
I’ve lost myself in this moment. I don’t care how long we have been outside until I hear the front door and a throat clearing.
My hands that had been pulling Daniel into me are now pushing him to no avail.
He’s too big for me to move, I realize, unless he wants to be moved.
He looks at me and then looks over at the front door, giving me a little space to look around his body.
My dad is there, not looking mad exactly, but also not looking pleased about finding his daughter pinned against the car.
“Annie, it’s time to come inside, say goodnight to Daniel,” Dad calls from the porch and shuts the door again.
Daniel laughs and takes a step backward towards his house.
“See you around, Annie,” he gives me one more smile and that wink, then turns, walking to his front door without a backward glance.
I take a deep breath and make my way inside.
It isn’t until I’m in my room that I realize I didn’t even exchange numbers with Daniel: I have no way to communicate with him until school on Monday.
This is going to be the longest weekend of my life.