Chapter 22 #3
Cal’s lips press together, a slight flush making its way to his face.
Ash laughs. “TMI, sorry.”
“No need to apologize. I understand.” In a mumble, he adds, “A little too well.”
“Honeymoon phase still going strong with you two?” Ash guesses. In all the time he’s known Dawson, the man just seems to get happier by the day.
Shyly, Cal shakes his head. “I don’t think it will ever end.”
“We are two whipped bastards, aren’t we?”
Cal’s brows furrow and he does a cute little head-tilt. “What’s whipped?”
Ash smothers a smile. Look at that scary entity from beyond. “Have a look at your face in the mirror sometime and you’ll see.”
“…Okay.”
Continuing their conversation on a lighter note, Cal tells him about the exhibition and what everyone was up to while Ash and Kieran were sunbaking in Fiji. Ash tells him about the trips they went on, and how Kieran went overboard on the jetski.
After that, he goes to search for Tequila, spending a good ten minutes trying to get her into her carrier. He ends up with only four scratches.
“Ready to go home?” he asks when Donut comes barreling through to the living-room with Kieran and Dawson in tow. They’d disappeared for almost an hour, but it must’ve done Kieran a world of good. He doesn’t look upset anymore as he chats with Dawson. He does look tired, though.
Kieran nods, then his unimpressed gaze falls to the carrier in Ash’s hand.
“That hair dispenser isn’t going in my car, is she?”
Tequila hisses as if she understood every word.
Kieran gasps, pointing at her. “Did you hear that? She threatened me!”
“Well, you insulted her. And there shouldn’t be any hair. She’s in a carrier.”
“Still.”
“How do you propose I get her home?”
“I don’t know.” He crosses his arms. “Walk. Take an Uber.”
“That’s mean, Kieran,” Dawson chastises, then turns to Ash. “I can drive you, if you’d like.”
“If you don’t mi—”
“Fine!” Kieran huffs, pouting. “Whatever, just get in the damn car.” Quieter, he says, “At least we know who the favorite is.”
Dawson laughs. “Brings back memories. Cal and Donut were so jealous of each other at first.”
“I wasn’t.” Cal denies it at the same time Kieran yells, “I’m not jealous!”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make it up to you.” Ash winks.
Kieran’s eyes narrow into two vicious slits. “You better be talking about vacuuming my car.”
“Sure, I’ll throw that in too.”
Kieran all but drags Ash outside when Dawson casually starts on the idea of a double date in the near future.
At the car, he pops the boot so Ash can put Tequila’s toys and bowls in.
He protests a little when Ash insists on Tequila riding shotgun with him, but then just throws his hands in the air, grumbling under his breath.
Ash really wishes they were at the point where he could kiss the frown off Kieran’s face.
“I forgot to mention,” he starts, once they’re on the road. “I’m supposed to go back to work tomorrow, but I can postpone it if you’d rather I stay with you.” He’s booked back-to-back after his holiday, but as much as he cares for his patients, his time-traveling boyfriend takes precedence.
“And why would I want that? I’m already getting cabin fever,” Kieran replies snottily. The little brat.
“Thought I’d ask. What about you?”
“Me?”
“Do you want me to run you through what you do now, or will you be taking time off? I mean, you dictate your hours, so no stress.” And it’s not like they’re hard up.
“It’s fine. Pretty sure that a quick look through my files and emails will give me an idea of what I do. But I won’t dive back in right now. I’d rather spend time taking Gabe up on his offer.”
“What offer?”
“To learn how to block you out.” He throws Ash a deadpan glance before focusing back on the road.
“Good. We can test it later.”
“Not a chance.”
Ash laughs. So it would seem Kieran learned how to fortify his mind in the future before going back to his time. Which means he already knew what to do when Ash offered to teach him. He just went along with it, so as to not raise suspicion. Clever, sneaky little cookie.
“So, what’s the deal with her?” Kieran asks, nodding at the carrier. “Why get a cat that hates the person you live with?”
“We didn’t have much choice. She was a stray.
Walked up to me when I was leaving Lost and Ground.
I took her to a shelter Dawson recommended and left my number so I could check on how she’s doing.
They called me two days later saying she was inconsolable ever since I dropped her off and asked if I’d consider adopting her. ”
“I never would’ve pegged you as a pushover,” Kieran quips.
Ash omits telling him the reason why he caved without resistance was that she’d reminded him of Kieran all too much, the little drama queen that she is.
“I have my moments.”
“And I was okay with it?” Kieran checks, sounding doubtful.
“You had some objections, but I changed your mind.”
“How?” When Ash doesn’t say anything, just keeps smiling like an idiot, he sighs. “Forget I asked.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to know the details?”
“Positive.” He shakes his head. “Never knew I’d be competing with a damn feline.”
“You’re not competing,” Ash tells him solemnly. He can sense the flicker of insecurity under all that snark from miles away. “It’s always been you, Kieran.”
Kieran’s chest expands with a slow, deep inhale. He’s white-knuckling the steering wheel, but stubbornly looking ahead.
Sensing a shift in energy towards something deeper and more fragile, Ash takes advantage. “I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been rather accepting of our relationship since we had the big talk.”
“Yeah, well…” Kieran coughs, hands opening and closing around the wheel.
“I did some thinking. I mean, what’s the point of denying it?
Clearly, this is the reality. At least in this timeline.
There must be a reason why we ended up this way.
And…I do look happy.” Ironically, he’s frowning again as he says that.
“When I see our pictures, or listen to Kieran 2.0 wax poetic about you. And I know looks can be deceiving, but everyone else seems to believe we’re a package deal. ”
“I do like the sound of that,” Ash says to break up the tension a bit, since Kieran’s body looks like a bowstring getting stretched to its limit.
It works, a wobbly grin appearing on Kieran’s face for a moment.
“What I’m trying to say is…I may not understand how we got to be like this, but I’m willing to listen. Maybe even explore it.”
Ash’s heart skips a beat. Maybe two. Hell, it does some weird gymnastics thing. “You are?”
Seeing how jittery Kieran is getting, they should’ve waited to have this conversation after they got home. But now that he’s finally opening up, Ash doesn’t want to do anything that would make him shut down.
“What you said yesterday, it…struck a chord. A big one.” The tension in Kieran’s voice reveals how hard it is for him to admit that.
“You are a pompous, perverted ass, and half the time I want to smack you. But…” A breathless chuckle slips past his lips.
“I’m starting to get a feeling that no one else will ever understand me like you do, down to the darkest parts of me.
And, well, I’d have to be fucking insane to turn my back on all that. ”
Cal’s words echo through Ash’s head, his whole body thrumming with excited energy.
Okay, calm down. Don’t get ahead of yourself. This is huge, but stay cool.
“Only half the time? I thought you always wanted to smack me.” A joke. Well done, Cleaver.
Kieran rolls his eyes. “Don’t get too cocky. I was just trying to be nice.”
“Don’t,” Ash blurts out. “You don’t have to try to be anything with me. I like that cranky, grumpy, secretly sweet personality of yours.”
Kieran lets out a shaky breath. “Just say you enjoy degradation.”
“Only because I know it’s your love language.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It is, too.”
“Think whatever you want, you weirdo.”
The rest of the drive home is a strange combination of tense, but comfortable. The tension doesn’t feel ominous, like a shoe about to drop, or an argument about to blow up. It feels like anticipation with a hint of hope.
At home, Ash lets Tequila out of the carrier. She rubs against his leg, gives Kieran a loathing look, and prances away, probably to hide in the closet.
“It’s like living with your mortal enemy. Should I be sleeping with a knife?” Kieran asks.
“She’d probably find a way to use it against you.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
Ash chuckles. All jokes aside, there’s something he needs to discuss before he goes crazy from overthinking. “Have you thought about where you’d like to go from here?”
Kieran crosses his arms, defiantly jutting his chin out. “You’re not putting anything in my butt, that’s for sure.”
Ash grins, unable to keep himself back from stirring shit up. “How about somewhere else?”
Kieran’s not impressed. He ignores the question entirely.
“You said consent is important. I’m gonna hold you to that one.
” He gives Ash a look that speaks volumes.
‘I’m trying to trust you here. Don’t fuck it up because there won’t be a second chance.
’ “I’m starting to realize I might not know myself as well as I thought.
So I don’t know what I might be okay with or not.
You can…test the waters, and I’ll tell you how I feel about it. ”
Jesus Christ, Kieran might as well have laid out a freaking buffet in front of him.
After clearing his throat three times, Ash manages to squeeze out a croaky, “Sounds good.”
“Stop it. You’re basically vibrating on your feet,” Kieran snaps at him.
“You mentioned my…self-harming tendencies.” His face contorts like he tasted something bitter.
“I’ll let you handle that, within reason.
But don’t mess with my diet, and if you wake me up at a godforsaken hour to go running with you or something equally abominable, I’ll kick you in the nuts. ”
“Your exercise routine has nothing to do with our dynamic. Or at least not in the way you think.”
Kieran staggers back, a hand over his heart. “Are you telling me I do it willingly?”
“You perform exceptionally well under the reward system.”
“Reward system? What are you—” He inhales sharply. Ash’s shit-eating grin must’ve answered the question for him. “Seriously? Is all we do just bang?”
“Sometimes we go to the beach. Or the movies. Although last time at the movies—”
“Yeah, I get the picture. Jesus.” Kieran walks over to the sofa and collapses onto it. “I’m a slut.”
Ash joins him, keeping a comfortable distance between them. “I like that too.”
“’Course you do. Pervert.” He nods in the direction Tequila has disappeared. “How does that even work with that evil thing around?”
“We have to shut the door. Lesson learned the hard way. Especially for you. You still have scars.”
“Attacked me for messing with her man, huh? Where are the scars?” Stretching his arms out, he looks them over.
“You need to look a little lower.”
Kieran’s expression goes from uncomprehending to stone-cold. “My butt? She attacked my butt?”
Ash still laughs whenever he remembers the occasion. “In her defence, it was right there. Count yourself lucky that she didn’t aim for the chandelier.”
Kieran hisses something at him and stomps to their bedroom, presumably to check.
“I have fucking teeth marks on my butt cheek!” comes a scandalized scream a few moments later.
“Those could be from me. How old do they look?” Ash yells back.
“I hate you!”
A stupid, smitten grin on his face, Ash flops onto his back, whispering, “Love you too, firecracker.”