Chapter 41 #2
“Hey, no one says we have to go all the way,” Kieran tries to sway him. “Just gimme something. Please?” The Bambi eyes make a comeback. “I want to feel you. To know you’re really here, with me.”
Ash turns his gaze heavenwards—to Kieran’s streaky ceiling—and, after a long pause where he loses the fight against his dark side, he hooks an arm under Kieran’s knees and scoops him up.
“Hey!” Kieran screams into his ear, feet kicking.
Ash carries him to the bedroom, which, given it’s the only one, wouldn’t be hard to find even if he hadn’t been here before.
“You wanted to go to bed, yes?”
“Go, not be carried like a blushing br-ah!-ide.”
After depositing him on his back, Ash slinks over him and pokes his flushed face with the tip of a finger.
“You are blushing right now.”
Kieran, blushing harder, looks like he may or may not attempt to bite the finger off. “Yeah, well, you—you, uh—”
Ash drags his lips over Kieran’s neck, placing a kiss just under his jaw. “Yes?”
Kieran squirms, the movement causing their hips to touch. He’s so hard that even the brief contact is enough to let Ash know how much he wants this.
Loving to see him writhe, Ash slots their fronts together and rolls his hips. Slow, deep, hard.
Kieran’s hands fly to his shoulders, nails digging into the skin there. The flash of pain sends a zing all the way to Ash’s toes.
“You’re infuriating,” Kieran informs him. Suddenly, the space between his brows creases with worry. “You…want this too, right?”
He’s not asking if Ash wants him—that would be rather redundant. He is here, after all, despite his efforts to stay away. No, Kieran is just worried Ash might feel coerced into sleeping with him right now.
Ash huffs. He understands—and appreciates—why Kieran is double-checking, but the whole idea seems so freaking ridiculous to him.
He lowers himself fully on top of Kieran and gives him a slow, featherlight kiss. “Never wanted anything more. And it scares the shit out of me.”
The display of vulnerability was to put Kieran's mind at ease, but of course it made him all smug instead. The little brat.
“Stop looking so happy about it,” Ash grumbles.
Kieran laughs. “I didn’t think there was anything that scared you. Apart from magpies and cockroaches.” His teeth snap together, eyes going wide. “Uh…”
“Who told you that?” Ash asks, though the answer is obvious. “Gabe really needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.”
Kieran laughs nervously. “Y-yeah, you two should definitely have a chat. Now, where were we?” He walks his fingers across Ash’s chest and pops the top button of his shirt open.
Ash huffs, still so freaking puzzled by the easy confidence, but damn if he’s going to complain.
With a joint effort, they work his shirt open until he can pull it off. Kieran’s eyes instantly latch onto his tattoo. He traces the outline with his finger, stopping when he gets to the card. His mouth falls open, and then he laughs.
“Of course it’s the King of Swords.”
Ash is definitely missing something here, but before he can ask, Kieran says, “I don’t think this fits you.”
“The tattoo?”
“The card. The meaning of it. I mean, yeah, it does now, but I don’t think it’s who you really are.”
Ash tries not to let his confusion show in case Kieran takes it the wrong way. “And why’s that?”
“Well, it stands for control, logic, mind over emotions.” He seems to wait for confirmation, so Ash nods. “I think you identify with it because it’s the only thing you know and it makes you feel safe. But I don’t see you that way.”
“No?” His chest starts to get a little tight. “Because I remember you calling me a control freak.”
Kieran smiles sheepishly. “You are. But you’re not cold and emotionless. In fact, you’re an emotional mess. Kinda like me. You just hide it better.”
Ash can only stare at him.
“And you believe it’s your responsibility to be this steady, unshakable presence for others, without getting the same in return.”
“I had no idea you were into philosophy. Or astrology,” Ash says in a desperate attempt to cover up how deep Kieran’s little monologue hit.
“I’m into you,” Kieran points out. “And if you haven’t noticed, I tend to get obsessive over the things I’m into. So you should be ready to be taken apart.”
Ash swallows, liking the sound of it a little too much. “Metaphorically, or…?”
Kieran’s teeth flash dangerously. “Any way I can come up with.”
Yes, please. “I’m in.” Swooping down, Ash gives him the deep, filthy kiss Kieran’s been craving, not holding back this time.
Kieran accepts everything Ash gives him, each delicious sound he makes only spurring him on. He’s so fucking responsive, it’s insane no one has snatched him up yet. Though it’s not that insane—Kieran is distrustful and struggles to open up, but for some reason he trusts Ash.
Ash could get high on that knowledge alone.
He battles off Kieran’s T-shirt, accidentally ripping a seam in the process. Whatever, he’ll buy him a new one. He has more pressing matters to attend to.
Like the fact that Kieran is shirtless now, and his skin is clearly begging to be touched and marked. Ash has never been much of a nipple guy, but Kieran’s are so small and such a lovely shade of pink, his mouth fills with saliva at the mere sight.
He makes them his first stop, sliding down Kieran’s body until he can run his tongue over the right one. It instantly stiffens in his mouth while Kieran gasps for breath. One of his hands flies to Ash’s hair, the other grabs his bicep. Yeah, he likes this alright.
Filing the info away, Ash carries on, sucking on the nipple until it’s red and sore-looking, then glances up to see Kieran’s face.
He’s already watching him, lips parted and puffy from being chewed on, a sheen of sweat starting to break out across his skin.
Jesus, they’ve barely started and he’s so gone already.
Wanting to see more of this side of Kieran, Ash moves onto the other nipple, giving it the same, thorough treatment. Kieran seems to be more sensitive on this side, or maybe he’s becoming more sensitized overall, small whimpers escaping his lips.
“You…are…such a fucking tease,” Kieran manages between gasps, his hand flexing in Ash’s hair. “I mean, I knew—ah—I knew you’d be, but still…”
“You knew, huh?” Pressing up onto his hands, Ash shifts until they’re face to face. “Does that mean you’ve been imagining this a lot?”
Kieran’s gaze becomes unfocused, but not with pleasure. More like he’s remembering something. “You could say that, yeah.”
“Uh-huh.” Ash kisses behind his ear before giving the shell a playful bite. “What did I do? When you imagined this.”
“It—ah—changes. M-most of the time you just…kiss me a lot. Hold me.” He huffs a small laugh. “Then bring up some corny dirty talk.”
It’s uncanny how close Kieran’s imagination comes to the real thing. Because everything he said? All of that has been on Ash’s to-do-asap list. Plus, kissing Kieran is his new favorite thing to do, so there will be a lot of that.
“Seems like I have much to live up to.”
“I wouldn’t sweat it.”
They share a grin, and the next time Ash moves, there’s a rustling sound, like soft plastic. He reaches towards it, hidden under the blanket, and pulls out a candy bar wrapper. Tugging the blanket aside reveals a couple more of those, and an empty chips packet.
He turns a pointed look at Kieran, who dips his gaze like a kid who…well, got caught with a hand in the cookie jar. Or candy jar.
“Don’t judge me. I’ve been depressed. It’s your fault. Just be glad it’s not drugs.”
Ash’s expression instantly smooths out. He’ll deliver a lecture on processed foods later.
“I’m sorry.” He kisses Kieran’s forehead, his nose, his chin. “I was trying not to hurt you, but I did anyway.”
Kieran blinks several times in quick succession. “You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”
Ash loves and hates in equal measure how easily Kieran forgives him. Like, okay, good for him, but he really should have to grovel more. He’ll just have to make it up to Kieran some other way.
“Thank you for waiting for me.”
Wetness gathering in his eyes, Kieran nods and pulls Ash into a kiss. His lips tremble, barely move, but he clings on like he still hasn’t processed this is happening. That it’s real.
Well, that’s fine. Ash can make it very real very quickly.
He starts easy, just grinding against Kieran so he can feel how much Ash wants him, has wanted him since they first met.
Kieran throws his head back, exposing the beautiful, long column of his neck.
From this close, Ash can see his pulse thrumming under his pale skin, strong and erratic, and he wastes no time sucking a bruise right there.
It hits him too late that Kieran might not appreciate any visible ‘evidence’.
Before he gets a chance to double-check, rather redundantly, Kieran chokes out a breathy, “M-more.”
“More?” Ash is happy to oblige, he just needs the specifics, otherwise he’ll take some liberties, and Kieran might not be ready for that.
“Leave more marks. I want to know I haven’t made this up when I look in the mirror. I want to know I’m yours.”
Jesus, this man will be his undoing. But what’s new?
He dips his head, mouth finding the edge of Kieran’s jaw, the soft spot beneath his ear. The skin is warm, pulse racing under his lips. He sucks, slow at first, then deeper, until Kieran’s breath catches in a broken sound that only spurs him on.
Ash trails lower, tracing heat across Kieran’s throat, pausing to taste the hollow just above his collarbone.
His hands stay firm on Kieran’s hips, holding him.
It’s no small feat—Kieran is a squirmer, as Ash should’ve foreseen.
So easy to rile up and, despite appearances, even easier to please.
Or maybe it’s just Ash he’s so easy with?
By the time he pulls back, Kieran’s chest and neck are a constellation of small bruises and teeth marks, messy, beautiful. Claimed. Even though it looks like the claim has been staked by a wild animal.