Chapter 27
ROWE
Dear Rowe,
It’s freezing here this year. The snow’s so deep already that your dad’s made the cowboys start earlier every morning to shovel the roads. It’s nice getting to work in the stables. I almost feel bad for everyone else.
My parents have started threatening that if I don’t tell them what I want for Christmas by tomorrow, they’ll get me coal.
I’m not a kid anymore, and the only thing I want is to see you.
Ash helped me fill out all of the visitation forms, and we’ve sent them for approval.
I’m starting to forget what your voice sounds like.
That scares me. I don’t want to forget anything about you.
If I get approved by Christmas, I’ll bring you a few photos. It’s not the best gift, but I don’t think they’ll allow me to bring your boots or hat. Do you miss them? I can’t imagine you without them. Do you get to shave, or is your beard crazy now?
I have so many questions for you, but I’ll save them for when we get to see each other. Because we will, Rowe. We have to.
P.S, I told Otis what you said about the cowboys, and he laughed and said you need to trust him. The guys have been really nice to me, so don’t worry. I like to think they’re as scared of me as they are of you.
Hellcat
My cabin’s too crowded with her inside it.
It’s not large to begin with. My great-grandfather had it built for guests, not having been as against them as my father is.
There’s a bedroom off the kitchen only big enough for a double bed and a dresser, while the one beside it fits a king.
The kitchen’s not much better than the one in Tilly’s trailer, and the bathroom shower pisses hard water from the well-dug-out back.
Replacing the softener isn’t all that high on my to-do list as of late.
There’s not enough space between us as Tilly walks further into the house, examining it like she’s scared it’s a figment of her imagination. She can blink as many times as she wants. Neither this place nor I is going to disappear.
“The bedroom is over there,” I say, voice rough and deep.
Pointing past the sofa and to the only door that’s open, I wait for her to move. She hesitates, ignoring the order laced in the statement. Her attention is too shifty, moving this way and that over everything around us. Discomfort makes my skin itchy enough that I scrape nails down my forearm.
“Don’t rush me.”
I drop my hand. “You’re not here to get a tour. If that’s what you want, you can earn one.”
“Earn it? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be doing?”
“Get your ass in my bedroom, hellcat. Don’t push me right now.”
That grabs her attention firmly enough that she looks at me, no longer concerned with my furniture and slight disorganization. She pushes her hair over her back and faces off with me, keeping a few feet between us.
“But it’s so fun seeing you riled, Rowe. I used to wonder what this place looked like. Ever since you mentioned wanting to live here all those years ago.”
“It was more about getting out from under my parents’ roof than the desire to live here specifically.”
“I know. That doesn’t mean you didn’t accomplish what you set out to do. When did you move in?”
My laugh is short, scoffed. “Were you under the impression that my parents were proud when I was out on parole, clutching onto the illusion of freedom like a dog on a leash?”
“They kicked you out here, then.”
“Turns out the idea of having a criminal in their home wasn’t all that appealing.”
Her fingers slide down her bare thighs. I watch as they flex before she looks away, chest pushing out with a rough exhale.
“You aren’t dangerous,” she says bluntly.
“No? Are you sure about that?”
Her head whips back, fury burning in her eyes. “Yes, I’m fucking sure. You’ve never been a danger to me or anyone here.”
“Don’t be na?ve, Tilly. I’ve got a rage burning so hot inside of me that I can taste the flames on my tongue.”
“Because of what happened to you! You spent four years in prison paying for protecting me. That didn’t come easy.”
I clutch the back of my head, shaking it. “I didn’t have to hurt him. Not that bad. I should have stopped. Should have listened to your brother and Shade when they begged me to back off.”
“We were kids, Rowe. Stupid, reckless kids. And if you asked me right now how I felt about what happened, I’d tell you that I don’t wish you’d let him go earlier.
And my brother begged you to stop because he was worried about you, not because he didn’t want him to suffer.
Ezra could have ruined my life. Doing just that was exactly what he wanted. You stopped him.”
I can’t close my eyes right now. If I so much as blink, I know what I’ll see painted behind my eyelids. The video that played on a loop in my head for the first few months I was in prison still haunts me to this day.
Tilly’s boyfriend beneath her as she rides him, her naked body rolling over his as she climaxes, completely unaware that he’s recording every single thing with a camera hidden behind a photo of them.
It wasn’t the first time either. And if she hadn’t broken up with him a week after that video was recorded, I’m sure there would have been more.
“Get on my fucking bed, Tilly. Don’t make me tell you again,” I snap, my lungs constricting to the point of pain.
Finally, she doesn’t argue. Without another word, she goes directly to the bedroom, hands clenched at her sides. I don’t follow immediately. I’m too focused on trying to relearn how to breathe to do that yet.
I stare after her, but then she’s gone, doing something I can’t see. There’s a soft rustle of fabric, then silence again. I swallow the ball in my throat and take one step forward, then another. My boots are loud on the floor, so I tug them off, leaving them abandoned behind the sofa.
Hers are the first things I see when I step into my room. The dark brown boots are strewn on the small rug at the end of the bed beside her tiny white socks. I breathe through my nose and look up.
“It’s okay to be angry, Rowe. There’s another way for you to work through it. With me.”
Tilly’s gripping the hem of her shirt, drawing it higher up her thighs.
Inch by inch, I feast my eyes on all the smooth, freckled skin exposed until I allow myself to stare at the patch of thin black lace between her legs.
My swallow is audible. There’s a clawing sensation in my chest, like my heart’s grown claws and is trying to shred its way free.
“Careful,” I warn, my voice slightly garbled.
“I’m so tired of being careful.”
The weight of her words pulls my gaze up her body. I’m cautious as I move to the edge of the bed, reaching forward to dig my hands into the mattress. The heat from her naked legs pulses against my wrists, tempting me to shift slightly . . .
“Is that what your life was like while you were gone? Careful?” I ask, curling my fingers into the thick blanket.
Her cheeks flush, but not from embarrassment. “There’s a cost for those answers.”
“Right.”
I give in. Taking her ankles into my hands, I push them outward, spreading her legs. She moves willingly, bending her knees up toward her chest. There’s no stopping the groan that rips through me. It drops between us like a boulder in the lake we spent hours upon hours in together.
My tongue feels weighted when I speak. “Each time I make you scream, you’ll tell me what I want to know. Once I start, I’m not stopping until my curiosity is sated, Tilly.”
“We’ll see if you can succeed even once first.”
I hook my arms beneath her ass and laugh, tugging hard.
She comes flying down the bed, mouthing a silent cry.
Lowering myself until my knees hit the floor, I shove her shirt up high enough that I can confirm every suspicion I’ve had about those fucking nipple piercings.
The barbell is cold between my fingers as I pinch it and give it a small tug, letting her feel the weight of my arm pressing down onto her stomach.
She sucks in a sharp breath and wiggles against the mattress, eyes flashing where they watch me. I repeat the motion and turn my head to dampen her inner thigh with my tongue. My kisses are wet as I paint her skin with them and then nip at it, drawing another sound from her lips.
“Had a lot of time to wonder,” I start, releasing the barbell to palm her entire tit, giving it a squeeze. “For years after the letters stopped, I kept myself sane by picturing you like this. At first, I thought it was fucking sick. You were my best friend’s twin sister.”
The lace of her panties scrapes my cheek when I drag my mouth higher, my teeth sinking deeper into her thigh. She jerks against my face but still remains silent. Her tongue must be bleeding by now.
Turning my face forward, I bump the middle of her panties with my nose, feeling how damp they are. Her thigh grows tense when she yanks it up and away from me, baring herself further in invitation. I take her nipple between my fingers again, avoiding the piercing as I roll it, nice and slow.
“The longer I was locked up, the less I cared how bad a friend I was for thinking about you like that. It was the only time I felt like I wasn’t going to lose myself.
My imagination was never expansive, hellcat.
Not until I started picturing you spread out just like this, wide-legged and limp, mine for the taking. ”
A breath escapes her, tight and heavy. I keep my eyes away from hers, staring at the length of my tattooed forearm covering her stomach and the designs on the back of my hand as I pull on her rosy nipple instead.
When I drop them back to where my mouth has parted over wet lace, I use my free hand to unhook my belt, my cock too hard to stay tucked behind it.