Chapter 37
TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD
ROWE
“Stop looking for loopholes and answer my question,” Shade slurs, flinging a sunflower seed into my lap.
I palm my red plastic cup and reluctantly give in to his love of this stupid fucking game. “If you’re that desperate to know my sex status, you can ask your mom.”
“That goes for me too,” Ash joins in, his eyes glassy with a buzz that we’re all feeling.
“Do we have to ask each other such crude questions?”
Ash turns to stare at Lacey once she’s finished speaking, and I catch the twitch of his fingers where they rest between them.
There’s a thick plaid blanket beneath them, protecting their asses from the grass still wet from the rain a few hours ago.
The fire in the centre of our group is raging a bit too high.
Shade starting it with gasoline probably wasn’t the smartest idea, but Tilly dared him too, and he’s allergic to denying a dare.
“Come on, Lace. Don’t be a prude. We’re not kids anymore,” Tilly taunts from her place on the picnic table.
She’s got her bare legs crossed over the edge of it, her brown boots swaying.
The slight shimmy of her shoulders as she moves to the music playing from the speaker beside Shade is accompanied by the hum of her voice.
The notes are all off, but she doesn’t let that stop her.
I take a long swig of my beer and eye the keg behind Ash and Lacey.
I told Shade it was fucking dramatic to buy one for some small-ass party with the five of us, but he declared it a celebration.
I’m not sure Tilly agrees that her breakup is cause for one, but she’s seemed to be enjoying the forever-flowing beer tap.
All thoughts of that idiot Ezra seem to be non-existent right now.
It’s a good thing.
That guy was no good for her. I saw the annoyance that flooded his entire demeanour every time she’d make a joke or suggest doing something that wasn’t rotting away watching him play video games.
She hadn’t come to the ranch in a while, and when I mentioned Diesel missing her, he blew up on her in front of everyone.
I would have knocked his teeth out if she hadn’t told me to chill out.
He’s gone, I remind myself when I start to grow restless.
“If you want to ask something else, then go for it,” Shade says, pointing at Lacey with one of his freshly tattooed fingers.
The letter A is red and raised, but still somehow perfect, considering he did it himself.
“Just don’t ask either of us what our favourite colours are. You already know mine’s red.”
The soft-hearted girl leans forward over her bent knees and flicks a slightly cautious glance in Tilly’s direction. “Okay . . . when did you lose your virginity?”
“Woah, woah, woah. I thought you weren’t into sexual questions like that!” Ash blubbers, crinkling his face in disgust before waving a weak hand in Tilly’s direction. “I don’t want to know that. I’m done with this game.”
“What?” Lacey groans, palming her face. “Fine! Whatever. I don’t get these rules of yours. Tilly, if you could be any flower, what would it be?”
Shade’s already up and out of his chair before she gets to finish.
He shakes his head, features slanting in dramatic disappointment as he refills his cup with beer and snags a glass bottle from the cooler beside it.
The label’s peeling from being soaked in the melted ice for so long, but I recognize the liquor by the colour and the knowledge that Shade hates tequila.
“You are officially kicked out of the game, Lacey. You suck balls at it.”
He twists off the lid of the vodka bottle and downs more than a shot’s worth before collapsing back in his camping chair.
“Don’t be an ass, Shade,” Tilly says with a bored sigh.
I can’t help but stare when she drops her head back and shakes out the hair beneath her hat.
The way the honey-blonde curls swing back and forth is distracting, and I’m already too drunk to tell myself to look away from her this time.
“I’ll answer both of her questions, and then we can move on to something else before you drink yourself stupid like Rowe. ”
I ignore the poke. We both know she likes giving me shit more than she does the rest of the group. I think she just appreciates that I can handle it better. It’s an ability we share. We’re so fucking similar it’s disconcerting.
“Here. Drink until you can’t hear her answer,” Shade grunts at Ash.
He twists the cap back onto the bottle and then tosses it over the fire. It plops into Ash’s lap, and my closest friend takes it with a gruff noise of thanks. Lacey watches him open it and take a sip, her annoyance painfully obvious.
He’s not sober enough to pay attention to her tight jaw or clasped hands. I notice, because watching is what I do best. It gives me an excuse not to have to talk much. I leave that responsibility to Shade.
“I’m not listening,” Ash slurs, one hand smooshing his ear.
Lacey shakes her head at his idiocy and watches Tilly.
I do the same, unable to help myself. It’s easier now that I’m drunk, at least. She pissed me off today, though I’ve kept that to myself.
While that fuckface Ezra may no longer be in the picture, I still caught her typing out a text to him earlier.
The thread of messages that were sent today only made my bitter annoyance worse.
It shouldn’t have surprised her when I took her phone and slipped it into my pocket before she got to send the last one.
Texting that guy isn’t going to fix whatever she wants it to now that she’s dumped his ass.
If she had just listened to me in the beginning, she wouldn’t have gotten with him at all.
I told her he was a douche, but did she listen?
No. If anything, my disapproval made her that much more determined to get with him.
It’s like she gets off on finding and stretching every slight crack in my armour until she can wiggle inside them.
“If I could be any flower,” she starts, tapping her bare knee, “I’d be a Venus flytrap.”
Shade shakes his head, curving his spine when he leans over his knees. “That’s not a flower.”
“Says who? You?”
“It has flowers on it,” Ash puts in.
Lacey takes the bottle of vodka from him and puts the lid on. “I thought you weren’t listening.”
“Anyway, that’s right. It has flowers, so in my mind, it is a flower,” Tilly says, pushing forward. “And I lost my virginity when I was seventeen.”
Ash’s groan comes at the same time Shade cheers, lifting his red cup into the summer air. My nose twitches, and I press my shoulders into the back of my chair, fighting a wave of something hot and prickly taking root in my gut.
“Who was it?”
I wait for whoever spoke to clarify, but when I notice four sets of eyes on me, I squeeze my empty cup until it’s folded in my palm. Right. The blabbermouth is me.
This shit has to stop. I’ve been asking too much and caring more than I need to these last few months. I’m slipping down a road I didn’t realize I’d taken.
Tilly’s glossy lips quirk at the corner, lifting just enough to expose her intrigue. I glare at that smirk and drop my crumbled cup.
“How about let’s not ask my sister any more about her sex life,” Ash suggests.
Lacey nods in agreement and climbs to her feet. She stumbles slightly but recovers with a hand on Ash’s shoulder. “I need to go to the bathroom anyway. You coming, Tilly?”
“Yep.”
Tilly can handle her liquor like a man double my size.
Her boots meet the ground with a soft thud, and then she’s walking with grace to our friend.
If it weren’t for the splotchy pink on her cheeks and the patch of skin exposed from her low-cut shirt, nobody would be able to tell she’s had more to drink than any one of us guys.
I jab my tongue into my bottom lip and twist away, pretending to examine the trees behind me. We took the only campsite that doesn’t have any others flanking it, so it’s just us out here. The closest fire is a long ways away, only partially in view from here.
Shimmer Lake Campground is the safest place I’ve ever been. And I know my two best friends agree because not one of us tries to stop the girls from leaving on their own. We trust this place and the people in it. Ash and Tilly’s parents make damn sure nobody stays here who shouldn’t.
“You sure you don’t want to try and convince Lacey to curl up in your tent tonight instead of Tilly’s?” Shade asks Ash, chuckling to himself.
I straighten in my chair and tap the arm, wishing I hadn’t destroyed my cup.
Ash seems to read my mind and tosses the closed bottle of vodka at me.
I catch it in one hand and wince at the sharp pain that follows the movement of my shoulder.
It’s still sore from getting my ass handed to me the other night.
The bronc was mean and took his shit temper out on me when I fell. His back legs clipped my shoulder when I failed to move fast enough. I was lucky to get away with only an aching bruise.
I unscrew the lid and soothe the pain with the liquor. It burns the entire way down, then sloshes into my stomach, making me feel uneasy.
Ash presses his hand down on the blanket, leaning to the side. “She wouldn’t let me even if I tried.”
Shade snorts while someone’s phone chimes. I know it wasn’t mine, but then I feel a vibration in my pocket. It’s probably Tilly’s. I’ve still got it jammed in the pocket opposite where mine sits. Shade pulls his out of his hoodie pocket and holds it in front of him, squinting slightly.
I watch his face, not bothering to pull mine free. I’d bet money that it’s Lacey sending us some group message about them being trapped in the washroom or something.
But then Shade’s frowning. The glassy look in his eyes slowly retreats, making room for panic. I sit straighter in my chair, the hairs on the back of my neck rising like a nasty omen. Ash blinks furiously, sensing what I am while he scrubs a hand down his mouth.
“What?” My tone is vicious.
Shade adjusts the brightness of his screen. When it glows against his skin, I realize just how pale he’s gotten. I push out of my chair and stand behind him, hovering like a ghost. The sound from the video registers first, filling the silent campsite with—
“Shit,” Shade sputters.
Ash is too close. I shove his shoulder so he can’t see what I have, terror seizing my lungs.
Tilly’s voice clings to the leaves, and the flames from the fire swell, colouring the tents in roaring red and orange.
Ash trips on the leg of my chair, and he falls to his ass so close to the blaze that I think he might have burned himself.
I can’t check to see if he’s okay right now. When I look at the phone again, I see her again. And she’s not alone. Ezra is with her. Beneath her with his hands on her naked waist.
Fuck. Naked is all she is as she cries his name, pleading for more.
I take the phone and throw it into the fire. Shade lets me. Ash remains on the ground, his breath sawing in and out of him with a force I feel from here. My back pocket buzzes again. Twice. Ash’s chimes.
Nausea swells in my stomach. I taste the bile that climbs my throat, desperate to spew across the thick grass. My fingers shake when I pull my phone free and see the messages on the screen. An unknown number sent the video, in addition to a bunch of words I can’t make myself digest.
I walk away from the others.
A tree branch pokes into my arm and neck, leaving burning skin behind. I hear the ground crunching beneath my boots. Then, the pine needles and tree roots turn into gravel. Headlights paint the road ahead of me, and I recognize the car they’re coming from.
The driver’s door opens and Ezra steps out, grinning from ear to ear. His hair is just as shaggy as it always is. He’s the same height as me, but so scrawny he could ride a foal without making it break a sweat. I think the fire might have singed my eyes because everywhere I look, I see red.
“Did you like the video? I figured you would. Maybe now you’ll give her the attention she wants so fucking desperately,” he sneers at me, stepping away from the car. “If you’re worried about her terrible attitude, it gets easier to be around when she’s moaning.”
Tilly’s voice floods my ears, but she’s nowhere near me.
I shake my head to try and clear the memory of her that’s etched into the backs of my eyes now.
My fingers are already curled. I don’t feel pain when Ezra hits the side of his car.
His head bounces off the window, and then he crumples to the gravel.
He’s so easy to lift. I feel his nails dig into my forearms, cutting through the skin before I drop him again, this time further down the road. His eyes bulge out of their sockets when he makes contact with the ground and cries out. I fill his mouth with my fist, and blood splatters my shirt.
“You’re going to wish you’d never met her,” I snarl, jutting my palm down to make contact with his throat. “Going to regret ever touching her. You never deserved to see her like that.”
“At least one of us has. And it felt as good as it looked. If she offers her pussy to you the way she wants to, make sure to take her up on it. Best fuck of my life.”
His leg flies up, and I grit my teeth at the pain that blooms in my spine.
Fear swallows the panic in his eyes when I don’t budge.
There’s a roar filling my ears now. I feel this inescapable need to make him suffer for betraying her.
For taking an intimate moment and broadcasting it to others.
To her brother. I hear the last text he sent like he’d said the words to my face instead.
Tell her she can apologize for being so cruel yesterday, or the entire town will be talking about how well she takes it by tomorrow morning. I’m here waiting.