Chapter 7 #2
With a jolt, my thoughts come back, and I push on his chest. I reef my head back and let out a faint squeal.
“What are you doing?” I yelp, getting off the rock and backing away.
Dax wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, smirking. “What’s the big deal?”
I gasp, horror-stricken by his casualness. “You can’t just kiss me!”
“Oh please,” Dax splutters. “Would you calm down?”
I press a hand on my chest above my thumping heart. “No, I won’t.” My eyes water with an itchy sensation. “How could you just do that?”
“It was easy.” He leans forward with a glint in his eye. “Want me to show you again?”
“Ugh. No!”
He pulls back, mumbling a laugh. “Why are you freaking out so much? I just did it to shut you up.”
My mouth hangs open as the magnitude of someone’s lips on mine swells inside my head. “It’s the fact that you just did it.” I squeeze my eyes closed, and gasp when they reopen. “No one just does that. That’s why I’ve never…”
“You’ve never what?”
I gulp. “...Been kissed.”
Dax blinks at me. His forehead creases, unable to comprehend my words. “What? You’re joking.”
I click my tongue, avoiding his gaze. “Don’t look at me like that. I was just waiting for the right time. It was supposed to be special.”
“It’s just a kiss.”
“It might be no big deal to you, but it means something to me.”
Dax rolls his eyes. “I just wanted you to stop blabbing about medical stuff.”
“I just wanted you to see your options.”
Dax stands, and his broadness makes me quiver. “And why do you think you can control what I do with my life?”
I clutch my elbows, feeling two feet tall. “That’s not what I was doing.”
Dax scuffs his boot across the ground. “Look, you were helpful in the hospital. I couldn’t stop thinking about you with the washcloth and the ice pack.” He blows out a hard breath. “I mean, man, no one’s done anything like that for me before.”
I wipe under my eye. “Well, that’s a little sad.”
He chews his lip. “So you get why I wanted to see you again?”
Tingles run down my spine.
“But, when it comes to treatment, or whatever, can you agree to drop it?”
My stomach flips with unease. “Okay.”
Dax scratches his head, making his hair messier. “You were kidding, though, right?”
“Huh?”
“That wasn’t your first kiss,” Dax says with a hint of embarrassment. “I mean, there’s no way. Look at you.”
An indignant gasp shoots out of me. “What are you saying? I look like a girl who gives it away?”
He lets out a nervous snort. “No. You look like a girl who’s asked on a lot of dates. I’d assume those dates end with kisses.”
“Well, mine don’t,” I reply, standing taller. “I’ve never been on a date with a guy who was worthy of a kiss. The closest they’ve ever gotten was the cheek. I always wanted to wait for the perfect first kiss.” My gut sinks. “And then you just took it, and I had absolutely no control over it.”
“Maybe that’s been your problem,” Dax says. “You’ve been trying to control it when it should be spontaneous. I mean, who ever heard of a great, passionate kiss that was planned and controlled? It doesn’t exist.”
My frown stiffens. “I wouldn’t call what you did great or passionate.”
Dax rubs under his chin, stepping closer to me. “You want to try it again?”
I recoil in disgust. “Eww, no.”
Dax laughs. “Eww? Did you really just eww me?”
I look up and into his eyes as we stand a foot apart. There’s nothing about this unruly and reckless boy that should charm me. But my heart throbs, and my intuition doesn’t tell me to run.
“I didn’t like the proposition,” I say with a dry mouth. “It’s not exactly spontaneous.”
Dax nods, smiling. “You want me to wait for the right moment?”
I bite into my lip, hesitation freezing me from within. I clear my throat, and reply, “I wouldn’t say you have the greenlight.”
As I clutch my elbows, Dax’s hand grazes the goosebumpy flesh of my upper arm. “Are you cold?”
His dry, calloused knuckles leave lingering warmth on my skin. “Maybe,” I whisper. “Could I put your jacket back on?”
Dax walks back to the motorcycle. “I have another option.” He opens the locker at the back of the bike and pulls out a gray blanket. “I’ve spent so many nights out here that now I’m always prepared.”
He beckons me back over to the rock formation. I sit beside him, again using his jacket as a cushion, and he drapes the blanket across my shoulders.
My teeth chatter as I process his words. “Do you sleep out here? All night?”
He nods, putting the excess blanket in the space between us. “Sometimes it’s better than going home.”
“Oh my gosh,” I murmur. “I couldn’t imagine.”
Dax sighs. “Not that I really have a home anymore.”
I grip the inside of the blanket, pulling it tighter. “What does that mean?”
He rubs the back of his head. “Nothing. Just that I mostly live at the clubhouse.”
“Oh.”
“It’s where my brother is, and he wants me around all the time.”
My hands curl into fists, remembering someone inside the clubhouse who called him ‘baby bro.’ I swallow hard and admit, “I saw him.”
“Huh?”
“Your brother,” I clarify. “When I was at the clubhouse, I saw how your brother treated you.”
Dax laughs. “That was him being nice.”
I look down, filled with shame for not listening when he said his life was hard.
Dax nudges me. “Is your brother nice to you?”
“Mostly,” I reply. “We disagree about our parents, but mostly our relationship is good.”
“What’s happening with your parents? Are they not buying you enough ponies?”
My head hangs low. At this point, why be coy about the truth?
“They’re splitting up,” I say matter-of-factly. “Or they have already. Ugh, it’s complicated. They live on different continents and play mind games instead of talking about anything directly. My brother wants them to get back together, but I know they never will.”
“You’re sure about that?”
I nod, feeling the weight of the truth dragging me down. “My mom is having an affair.”
Dax lets out a low whistle. “That’s heavy.”
I swallow the sick feeling rising from my stomach. “There are loads of rumors swirling that I spent my time in Switzerland, making out with my tutor. I didn’t correct them to save my family from embarrassment. The truth is, my mother’s the one spending all her time with my tutor.”
Dax slaps his thigh. “Whoa. You’ve got one ballsy mother.”
I lift my head, and stare at the twinkling stars overhead. “I never should’ve left with her. It was a decision made out of guilt. All she did was use me as a pawn in her games with Dad. Even when she’s nowhere near this town, she still makes my life miserable.”
“Do you think she’ll come back?”
Anger tears through me. “She couldn’t be bothered to show at Christmas, so why would she now?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It is what it is.”
“I don’t have my mom around either.”
I look at him and find a mixture of melancholy and peace I don’t quite understand. “Can I ask what happened?”
Dax meets my eyes, and he smiles. “She got out.”
I stay quiet, wanting him to elaborate.
He kicks out a boot, scuffing the dirt below. He sighs at the view ahead and rests his arms behind him. “There was an opportunity for her to escape her crappy life, and she took it.”
I lean closer to him. “Did you know she was leaving?”
He nods, breathing heavier. “I was supposed to go with her.”
My heart crushes. “Oh, Dax. What happened?”
He lets out a weighted exhale and turns to me with a crooked smile. “It is what it is.”
I hold his gaze for a long moment. The moonlight reflects the silhouettes of trees in his dark gray eyes, and as my fear sheds, my grip releases on the blanket.
There’s nothing scary about the boy sitting next to me. He’s a guy who was dealt a really bad hand. There’s something so pure and dejected on his face.
I move my hand out from under the blanket and rest it on his. “It’s one thing for me to accept my future as a socialite with no career prospects. It’s another for you to accept abuse as normal. I can give you what you need to get out. You can find your...”
“No, I can’t,” he interrupts, pressing a hand over the pendant dangling in front of his t-shirt. “I don’t know where she is.”
My confidence plummets.
His thumb rubs against the side of my hand. “It’s better I don’t know where she is. I don’t want someone else finding her first.”
My blood runs cold. “Someone like who?”
Dax tilts his hand to glimpse his rose tattoo at a better angle. “You know, I got this one for her,” he murmurs. “She always liked roses.”
I swallow the saliva pooling in my mouth. “That’s cute.”
“And this chain is from her,” he says, letting the pendant swing. “She got my brother and me these St. Christopher pendants when we were old enough to ride. She gave them to us for protection.” His index finger rubs over the rose tattoo. “I got this after deciding to stay in order to protect her.”
The open space around us closes in. While he holds my hand, clamminess coats his palm.
I clear my throat, and whisper. “Doesn’t your brother want to help you look for her?”
His jawline flexes. “My brother is the reason I didn’t leave with her. If I hadn’t stayed behind and caused a diversion, he’d have found her. I knew he’d treat her worse than he would me.”
A mixture of terror and squeamishness swirls inside me. “Is your dad in the picture?”
Dax fidgets in his position. He removes his hand from mine and runs it around the collar of his t-shirt. “I don’t want to get into it.”
I swallow and exhale slowly. “Okay.”
My eyes fix on the surrounding nature cast in dark shadows. We sit in silence, and a nervous part of me waits for him to suggest we leave. Or worse, he’ll leave me here alone.
Dax stretches beside me and then hunches with a cough. He presses on his side and shivers.
I stand, cloaked in the blanket, and retrieve his jacket from beneath me. “Here.”
He winces, still clutching his ribs. “Nah, I’m good.”
“Just take it,” I urge. “I’m warm enough, and you look cold.”
Dax stands and gingerly pulls on the leather jacket. He lowers, but instead of sitting on the rock, he moves to the ground, closer to the ravine. I watch him lie back and gaze up at the stars.
“This is the way to do it,” he says.
I smile and lower to the ground next to him. I tug the blanket loose, whipping part of it across his body too. When my arm releases the blanket, Dax catches my wrist, inspecting my bracelet.
“And what about this?” Dax asks, running a finger over my bracelet. “Does it have a story?”
I smile at the dainty chain. “I own so much jewelry, but I wear this piece every day. It feels like I’m missing something whenever I don't wear it.”
Dax touches his pendant. “I get that.”
“It’s basically a security blanket at this point. Whenever I’m nervous or intimidated, I flick my thumb against it, and something deep inside says everything will be okay.” I giggle and shrug. “Eventually, that is.”
“Well, I’m glad I got it back to you then.”
“Me too.”
Dax lets my wrist slip away and returns to the starry scene above. I follow his lead, looking up at the wondrous display. Pieces of what he’s told me replay in my mind. I have no idea why he opened up like that. All I know for sure is I want to know more about him.
I turn my head and admire his rugged side profile. A girl like me should never have met a guy like him. My heart flutters with dangerous excitement. What must my friends be thinking? I left the table and never returned. And what if it gets back to my parents? They’ll want to know who I left with.
I turn my head back to the sky above, and a gleeful grin stretches across my face.