Chapter 8
Eight
“I never do this,” I whisper, gazing at the stars.
“What?” he whispers back. “Disappear on a motorcycle with a total stranger?”
I mumble a laugh. “Well, yes, that.” I gesture at the sky. “I just meant this. I never take the time just to appreciate nature. I always have to be doing something. Although, I guess I slowed down a bit in Switzerland.”
“Why did you tell me all that stuff?”
I fidget with the blanket, fighting my nerves. “What stuff?”
Dax grunts and shifts in place. “About your family.”
“You just pushed my buttons in a way no one else does. Conversations with my friends always circle around the same superficial stuff. I dunno. It’s just different with you.
” I look out into the ravine and sigh. “Before leaving for Switzerland, I had this perfectly curated life. I lived up to all the expectations and had the good girl image down to a T.”
Dax snorts. “Do you think you’re some kind of bad girl? Sweetheart, I’ve got news for you…”
“Don’t call me that.” I cut him off with a groan. “I’ve just done some really stupid things since I first suspected my mom was cheating. And that was before we went overseas. All I wanted to do was hurt her, but I ended up hurting everyone else.”
Dax turns his head, looking at me for the first time in what feels like forever. “But you don’t hurt her because you feel some kind of loyalty, right?”
I nod solemnly. “Yeah. But my illusions were shattered, and now every single thing in my life feels completely fake. I just don’t want to do this anymore.
I’m sick of predicting what everyone around me will say and do.
” My chest constricts as I exhale shallowly.
“Does it ever feel like that with your family? That, no matter the situation, they have high expectations of you?”
Dax grimaces, turning away.
I sit up, looking down at his sour disposition. “Why did you tell me stuff about your family?”
Dax sits, pulling the blanket as he drags himself further forward. I stare at his back, emblazoned with the scorpion logo.
“You’re the only one who’s ever given a damn enough to ask.”
“That’s all it took?” I whisper. “I showed you some kindness at the hospital, and now I’m the only person who has shown they care?”
His back hunches as he replies with silence.
I push the rest of the blanket off my legs and stand up.
Dax turns around, concerned. “What are you doing?”
I retrieve my phone from the rock and open the group chat with my friends. It’s littered with unread messages, wondering where I went.
“Just texting my friends that I’m not dead,” I say, busily tapping the screen. “I don’t want alarm bells ringing and a search party coming after me. I’d rather give you my undivided attention.”
Surprise puffs out of him. “Seriously?”
I look up from the screen. “Yes. If you need someone to open up to, I’m here for you.”
His grin sends me giddy, and I finish my text messages. I make up an excuse that my family needed me home for a conference call with my mother. Hope and Sylvie will buy that. I then text Roger, telling him I’ll be at Sylvie’s house and won’t need him again tonight.
I toss the phone in my purse and sit next to Dax. “All taken care of.”
“What did you tell your family?”
I swat my hand. “Oh, they’re the only ones I didn’t text. They won’t be expecting me home, so I’m in no rush.”
“Wow,” Dax murmurs. “You’re actually smiling.”
I touch my cheeks, noticing the stretch happiness has caused. As I lower my hand, there’s a flutter in my chest. “Oh.”
“It’s the happiest I’ve seen you since we met,” he remarks. “What’s changed?”
My face flushes, and I look down. “I feel silly saying this, but I feel free.”
Dax tilts his head, intrigued. “How so?”
“When I’m with my friends, I can predict everything that’ll happen,” I explain.
“When I’m with my family, I have certain expectations to uphold.
Right now, I have no idea what will happen.
I don’t know what you’ll say or do. Anything could happen, and it’s thrilling.
It’s the first time I truly feel alive in this town. ”
A hesitancy comes over Dax. “And you feel like that because you’re with me?”
I shrug, biting my lip as I nod.
Dax lifts the blanket, and I scooch closer to him and snuggle underneath. As he wraps the blanket around us, he anchors an arm behind me, and ensures I’m warm.
My veins fizz with energy. Before his hand lifts off the blanket, I grasp it. I want to keep him close. The urge is overwhelming and uncontrollable, and I’m lost in lust.
I have to have it. I crave it.
I’m going for it.
I hold on to his arm and push myself forward until my face meets his. I press my lips onto his and pour myself into the kiss. I devour the fullness of his bottom lip, and press my hand against the side of his face. His prickly stubble digs into my palm until I shift my hand.
Dax’s arms hug around my middle, and I enjoy the way his hand presses into my back.
Usually, this kind of touch would freeze me up.
All I’d want to do is push the foolish boy off me.
But this is different. Dax’s hand feels natural.
It doesn’t feel like he’s pawing at me, or attempting to use me. This feels valuable and unrestrained.
When Dax kisses me back, it sends a hunger through me.
My heart pounds with lust, and I need more of him.
Every time his lips move, mine work harder.
My hand moves from his cheek to the back of his head.
I run my hand through his thick, scruffy hair and plant it there.
Not only do I want to experience an awesome kiss, I want it to be amazing for him too.
We break apart only when I need to come up for air.
“Whoa,” he says, almost breathless. “That was something else.”
I cup a hand over my mouth, the pink hue burning in my cheeks. “Sorry, something just took over me.”
Dax grins. “Don’t be sorry. That was amazing. This is one area where I love you taking control.”
My hand trembles, lowering it from my face. “Really?”
He leans in and pecks my lips. “Really.”
“Good. Because I like how much I wanted to kiss you. I’ve never had this feeling before. It was overpowering, and I just had to do it.”
Dax wiggles his eyebrows. “I’m that irresistible, huh?”
I laugh and nudge his arm. “Oh, stop.”
Dax runs a finger down my cheek. “I love how much you blush.”
I lower my head with a muted gasp. “Ah, I hate that. I’m supposed to have more confidence than letting stupid nerves get to me.”
Dax moves his finger below my chin, gently lifting my head. “Who said? Your mother?”
My heart sinks as I stare into his eyes.
“Remember when you felt free?” he says softly. “Where’d that happy girl go?”
I breathe out, feeling my shoulders relax as a hint of a smile returns to my face.
Dax’s hand leaves my chin, and he smiles back at me. “There she is.”
I take his hand in mine. “Thank you.”
Dax intertwines our fingers, and when the moonlight highlights his grease-stained nails, he sighs and releases my hand.
“But this can’t happen.”
My hand stays raised, hoping to touch his again. “What can’t?”
He motions between us. “Us. It’s never going to happen.”
I choke. “Excuse me?”
“We can’t be together.” He shifts away from me. “It’s not safe for you.”
“I can hold my own.”
His gaze is intensely serious. “Did I not explain the dangers of bringing a girl into my world?”
I clutch my bracelet and gulp.
He grunts and shakes his head. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Look, you’re gorgeous, but that’s not enough to risk you getting hurt.”
“Do you expect me to walk away while you continue to get hurt? I’m not an idiot, Dax. I know those bruises came from the guys at the motorcycle club.”
“Exactly why you shouldn’t get mixed up with me. After seeing what my mom went through, I won’t do it. I should’ve just returned your bracelet and rode away.”
I grab his shirt front. “But you didn’t, and now I’m not willing to give you up.”
He sighs. “Sassy.”
“You didn’t just return my bracelet because you think I’m pretty. Admit it.”
His Adam’s apple bobs.
“Dax?”
He huffs, looking away. “No. I couldn’t stop picturing you with that washcloth. You’re special.”
“So, you admit there’s something here between us?”
“It’s not enough, Sass. Being with me will be the biggest mistake you ever make.”
“But who said I had to step foot in the clubhouse to be with you?”
“You don’t expect me to hang around your country club, do you?”
I side-eye him. “You don’t exactly fit the dress code.”
He smirks. “Are you suggesting we meet up under the stars every night?”
I clutch my chest and sigh. “That actually sounds like magic.”
He shakes his head. “You’ll want more than that.”
“I’m surrounded by guys who say they can give me anything. If I wanted that, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you.”
“You don’t back down, do you?”
I wiggle my eyebrows. “You should just give in now.”
He wraps an arm around me. “You’re too much.”
I look out at the view and then back at him. “I know you want to be with me, or you wouldn’t have brought me out to your favorite spot.”
“Well, you needed to get away, and I wanted to see what a girl like you is like out of her element.”
“Apparently, she loves it.”
With urgency, we lean in at the same time, sharing a short, soft kiss. This time, I take in something that my heart made me block out last time. I pull away, turning green.
“Hey, what is it?” he asks with concern.
I wince. “The cigarettes. I can taste them when I kiss you.”
“Oops. Maybe I need some gum.”
“Or chug some mouthwash.”
Dax grins, silently chuckling. “Noted.”
“So, are you willing to give us a chance?” I cross my fingers. “I’ve never spoken so candidly with someone, and this was raw for you too. Like you said, this is special.”
He plays with a curl. “No, I said you’re special.”
I blush. “Regardless, we can’t walk away from this.”
“Walking away would be the smart thing to do.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to go back to my predictable life.”
“It won’t be better with me.”