Chapter 19 #2
I pull myself out of bed and stagger to the light switch. When I flick them off, I notice light seeping in from under the door. I open the door and see the TV on with no sound.
“Huh?” I mutter as I tiptoe across the carpet. As I round the couch, I find Milo lying on his back with Gandalf resting on his stomach.
“Oh, hey?” he whispers, tilting his head questioningly. “Did I wake you?”
“No. Well, I don’t think so.” I rub my tired eyes. “What are you doing up?”
“Gandalf was crying, and Kai was about to rip both our heads off. It was safer to come out here.”
“I’m sorry he’s kept you up. Do you want me to take over?”
Milo sits up, fixing his glasses. “No, I’m good. You should go back to bed.”
“I feel bad.” I sit on the opposite end of the couch. “If you’re up, I should be up too.”
“We’re trading off. You already did your night.”
“But I also woke you up.” I smooth back my wild bed hair. “You calmed me down.”
Milo smiles. “Well, if you want to stay, I won’t stop you.”
“Coach emailed me last night,” I say. “He’ll be at the cafe at 10 a.m. to take Gandalf. We don’t need to do the full forty-eight hours. He must feel sorry for us.”
“Hallelujah.” Milo huffs. “Not that I won’t miss the little guy, but he’s so much work.”
“Agreed. I don’t know how my mom did it. Aunt Maddy said she was a natural and loved being a parent. I don’t want to do it for another twenty years.”
“But you would have kids?”
His question takes me aback. “Oh, well, umm. I don’t know. Maybe. Ask me again in a decade or two.”
He sniggers. “Okay.”
Milo rubs Gandalf’s back gently and I can’t help focusing on every detail of his hands as my eyes become accustomed to the dark.
“What are you thinking about?” Milo whispers.
I break out of my stare. “Huh?”
“You looked deep in thought.”
“Oh.” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “Just thinking about a dream I had.”
“Good dream?”
I clear my throat and search for his eyes in the dark. “It felt real. Has that ever happened?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Or when something happens in real life, and you can’t tell if you imagined it.”
Milo shifts against the couch, fidgeting with his grip on Gandalf.
I lean closer. “I didn’t imagine it, did I?"
He gulps. “What?”
Clamminess coats my face and neck. My voice is shaky when I whisper, “The kiss.”
He blows out a hard breath. “Sorry.”
“Why?”
“I shouldn’t have…”
“But I liked it.”
He pauses for two beats. “You did?”
“It was electrifying.”
He laughs, scratching the side of his head. “Oh. I figured you’d regret doing it.”
My stomach twists. “Why would you say that?”
He chews his bottom lip and turns away. “Because I’m not good enough for you.”
I gasp, my chest aching. “Did you really just say that?”
He turns back to me, quiet.
“Milo, you’ve been more encouraging and supportive to me in the last week than some of my friends have been in years.” I rub my chest, losing some tension as the warmth spreads. “I’ve been having so many thoughts about you I couldn’t control. Believe me, I wanted to kiss you.”
His mouth falls open. “Really?”
A soft giggle pours out of me as I cover my face. “Okay. Maybe I've spent a lot of time fighting these feelings. But, in the moment, it felt so dang right.”
He lowers Gandalf to the couch cushion and slides closer. He scoops up my hand and looks deeply into my eyes. “Jamie, I’ve liked you for longer than I can remember. After we kissed, I got scared. You’ve never noticed me before, so I figured you’d ridicule me or yell and make a scene.”
I wince, gritting my teeth. “You thought I’d do that?”
“I freaked out. Besides, it’s how you and Kai usually act when something you don’t like happens. Admit it, we’ve been nothing close to friends.”
“Well, no. That's a given.”
He drops my hand. “Even this past week. We’d have moments where I thought we were getting closer, but then you’d snap and pull away from me.”
“Sorry.” I frown, feeling the sadness weighing me down from within. “There were a ton of conflicting emotions going through me.” I huff and look over my shoulder at Kai’s bedroom. “I don’t want anything to affect my relationship with Kai.”
“He already gives me a hard time. I don’t think I could handle his tirade if he found out I kissed you.”
I shrug. “He doesn’t have to know.”
He double-takes at me. “Huh?”
I giggle, digging my fingers below my bottom lip. “I liked kissing you. I wouldn’t mind doing it again.”
“In secret?”
“Would that be so bad?”
“Just the thought of it gives me anxiety.”
I lean closer and whisper an inch from his lips. “You should try rebelling now and then.”
Before he can respond, my eyes close and I press my lips against his.
It takes a beat or two until he kisses back.
His hands run up my arms and grip my shoulders.
I pull a hand around his neck and comb my fingers into his thick hair.
Our lips slip and it causes a soft moan to expel from both of us.
His arms pull around my back, forcing us closer together.
My body temperature spikes and I increase the suction in our kiss.
As my other hand brushes against his cheek, Gandalf cries from behind Milo. We break apart and Milo turns to pick up the fake baby.
“Way to kill the mood,” Milo jokes.
I giggle, sitting back on the couch and hugging my knees close to my chest.
Milo rocks Gandalf and the cries decrease in volume. “So, what does this mean?” he asks. “We’ve kissed. Now what?”
I raise my palms upwards. “More kissing?”
His eyebrows raise. “That’s it?”
I sit up. “I like how things are between us. I think we have a good thing going. We’re amicable and there’s obviously something between us. Can’t we just be friends who kiss?”
“Is that all you want?”
The clamminess spreads down my back. No, I want a boyfriend. A boyfriend I can show off. A boyfriend that won’t ruin all my other friendships.
I nod. “For now. Is that okay?”
He smiles. “I can’t go back to not kissing you. I’m in.”
I lean in and kiss his cheek. “Thanks, Milo.” I get off the couch and move back toward the bedroom. “Good luck getting him back to sleep.”
He watches me from the back of the couch. “You’re leaving?”
I pull the door behind me and say, “If rom-coms have taught me anything, it’s leave them wanting more.”