Chapter 3
EM
June
I snorted and burrowed closer, because my survival instincts were trash and my body thought Noah Abbott was a weighted blanket. The wheel rocked, and my stomach did an Olympic dive. I breathed him in and counted to ten like a child.
“Depends,” I said, voice muffled against his chest. “Is your idea stupid or is it fun-stupid?”
“Fun-stupid,” he said immediately. “Best kind.”
“Convince me.”
He tipped his head, and his jaw brushed against my hair.
My pulse thudded like a drumline. If I opened my eyes, I would see the whole city spread out, glittering and wide, and I might forget how to breathe.
Instead, I watched the steady rise and fall of his chest and tried to pretend I was not plastered to an NFL lineman like a koala.
“Okay.” His thumb traced lazy circles on my hip. “Two-part dare. One for you. One for me. No backing out.”
“Rude to make rules while I’m pretty much defenseless.” I waved my hands in the air, gesturing to being stuck in the cabin.
“You climbed into the Ferris wheel car willingly. That’s on you.”
“Fine,” I said, squeezing him once because I could. “Two-part dare. Hit me.”
“For you,” he said, voice low, “I dare you to do the thing you actually want instead of talking yourself out of it.”
I went still. “That’s not a dare. That’s… a motivational poster. A sticker for my laptop. A motto,” I said, brushing it off. His words lit something inside me, a challenge. An itch I wanted to scratch but ignored out of silly old fear.
He laughed, the sound rumbling against my cheek. “Excuses, Sanders. What’s the big wish? Not the tiny versions you tell people so they stop asking questions. The one that scares you a little. It’s me. You know you can share with me.”
A breeze slipped through the car, and I smelled the lake for real this time.
Cold. Familiar. My palms went damp under his hands.
I could say something safe like sell more on Etsy or get a thousand new followers and it would be true, sort of.
But those answers would not be completely honest. There was a comfort in sharing this with Noah, someone who knew the real me.
“My big wish,” I said, my voice lowering to a whisper, “is to design for an organization. A whole line. Something that gets people to see athletes like I see them. Gritty and loud and fun. If a girl puts on a jacket I made, I want her to feel like she can walk into any room and be the entire show. I want people to see my work and have to have it, that it’s an expression, a way for them to share their story in a way nothing else could. ”
He never stopped brushing his fingers along my lower back, the repeated pattern more comforting than I expected. My body tensed, waiting for him to laugh at me or tell me it was foolish or something like that. Even though Noah would never hurt me on purpose. He wasn’t built like that.
He didn’t move or speak. But he sighed and nodded, the movement causing me to bounce on his chest. “Pitch yourself.”
“What… do you mean?”
“You’re Em Fucking Sanders. Your smile lights up every room you’re in, girl. Look who’s at this event tonight. Former students, friends, athletes who know you and have seen your work. Pitch yourself to them. Do it. Tonight.”
My stomach dropped, and I forgot I was on top of a Ferris Wheel. “I couldn’t…”
“Sure, you can. Make the first move. Talk to someone, email, DM, all of it. What do you have to lose, Em?”
Dignity. Respect. Once again being humiliated and forced into a role I didn’t want. I swallowed those replies as the uncomfortable truth weighed down my gut. I was scared. I pushed off Noah’s chest, mouth parted as I gasped. “Oh my god.”
“What?” He frowned, his gaze moving over my mouth and down my body, likely looking to see if I was in pain. “What happened?”
“I’m a little chicken.”
His frown deepened as he tilted his head, the gesture looking so much like my puppy dog I almost petted his head. “Not sure I’m following, Em.”
I slapped my knee, laughed, and stared out onto Lake Michigan. “You’re so right. Man.”
“Again, I usually love hearing those words, but could you clarify for me?”
I faced him, my smile real as the familiar warmth of being around Noah comforted me.
There truly was no one else like him in the world.
Such a massive, strong human who had the kindest, most wonderful soul.
“I have nothing to lose. I’ve been so scared of what others think or being laughed at or embarrassed.
But why? What is the worst that could happen? ”
“Ah, so someone once told me to never think those thoughts and instead flip them. What is the best thing that could happen? You get a deal. You work for an organization. You design a line and see your clothes everywhere.” He wiggled his eyebrows and leaned his elbows onto his knees, putting his face a few inches from mine.
He was so close that my stomach full-on swooped.
Full nosedive. Heat rushed my face as my cheeks blazed with a blush, but he didn’t comment on it.
“God, that’s motivational as shit.” I fanned my face, focusing on the crowd below and not on the way he stared at me, like he saw through me completely and liked it. He distracted me from my own fear. “I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna pitch myself.”
“Atta girl.”
The praise from those two words caused an unnecessary inferno in my gut.
I never considered myself to have a praise kink, but coming from his deep voice…
woof. I chewed the inside of my cheek, imagining a lot of what-ifs about Noah from all those years being friends in college.
Was there… more there? Was I making this up?
I cleared my throat, pushing those thoughts away as my mind lit up with the challenge that I could do this.
“Okay, coach,” I said, trying not to show how much I liked the way he approved of me. “I’ll do it. Tonight.”
His mouth tipped up. “Good.”
I blew out a breath and nudged his knee with mine. “What’s your dare then? I’m not letting you assign me this homework without taking some too.”
He shifted so I could see his face. The city light hit his eyes and turned them almost black. “Mine is a bit harder.”
“Oh, no, no, no, Abbott.” I poked his firm chest. “You talked me into getting over my fear, and I’m not quite as talented as you, but I can push you to do something too. So your dare is hard. We’re the adventure buddies! We can do anything!”
He stared at me with a crooked smile, eyes shining like he thought I was the funniest thing. The same rush of warmth flooded my veins at the way he grinned at me. He smiled like he actually enjoyed being around me, and it was so refreshing. “C-come on, Noah.”
“Oh, your cute stutter.” His grin grew, the joy reflecting back at me even more tangible. “Fuck, I missed your cute little quirks.”
“Ugh.” I covered my face with my hands. “I’m not even nervous.
I don’t know why I stuttered!” It was a horrible trait of mine.
When I got too excited or nervous, my words and tongue and brain didn’t align, and the stutter would sneak out.
It had been a while since it happened, and of course, it would happen in front of Noah.
“This is turning out to be a very stressful Ferris wheel ride for me.”
“Hey, you can be nervous, sad, happy, scared, all of it. I’m just glad you’re with me.”
“Damnit, Noah. You are being way too sweet and wonderful right now. Not helping with my whole stutter and fear of heights thing.” I peeked at him between my fingers and met his continued grin. “Stop smiling at me so much!”
“Oh, sure.” He frowned, furrowed his dark brows way too much, and scowled. “Is this better for you?”
I couldn’t stop the snort from escaping. He looked so ridiculous and charming. I chuckled loudly. “You are still the same guy from college. Glad the NFL hasn’t ruined your goofy sense of humor.”
He ran a hand over his jaw as the wheel neared the end of the ride. “Well, I’ll be honest with you. Not everyone gets this version of me. A few of the guys on the team have become great friends, but don’t think I’m this way with everyone.”
I nodded, totally getting what he meant. I wasn’t myself with many people either. “The ride is almost over, and you haven’t shared your dare, dude. I will get it out of you.”
“Yeah, you gonna tackle it out of me? Dare you to try.”
“Noah Abbott.” I swatted his arm, blushing and grinning at his blatant flirting. “Knock it off.”
He chuckled, slinging his arm around my shoulders and relaxing into the chair as he played with the ends of my hair. “Alright, being serious now. My dare is to tell the truth and stop playing it safe.”
“Oh, that sounds serious. About anything in particular?”
“You,” he said simply.
I forgot about heights. I forgot about air. Everything inside me went loud and soft at once.
“Noah,” I warned, because I wanted the words so badly my teeth hurt, and wanting was dangerous.
“I’ll start with a small truth,” he said, his voice gentler than before. “I missed you, Em. Seeing you tonight? Laughing and sharing truths? It’s like no time has passed.”
My throat closed tight, emotions jamming to get out. I felt his words in my chest, my heart beating twice as hard as I let the words sink in. “I feel the same.”
“I thought about calling you so many times, but it was easy to assume you were too busy or forgot about me or were with someone and didn’t have time.”
“Noah, no. Never.” I faced him, reaching up to cup his cheek. “I assumed you were too busy with the NFL and making it big. You always told me you were too focused and didn’t have time for a social life. Of course, I thought about you, and I watch every single game.”