Chapter 15
Iwoke from a nap draped across Sidney. My senses were infused with his scent and I snuggled closer. “Where did the time go?”
“You may have been a bit preoccupied the last while.”
“A little.” I sighed. “It feels weird to be done. I don’t think I want to be done yet.” I squirmed as uncomfortable thoughts flitted through my brain.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“So...I know we could do stuff before the heat, but what about after?”
“After like now, or after like when you’re no longer a client?”
“Now. Or I guess any time before I have to leave.”
“We can definitely still do stuff. I was trying to let you recover from the heat, but I suppose it would be good to make sure the heat is for sure over. If you don’t have a flare, you’ll be good to go.”
I chewed my lip. Logically it made sense, but I wanted him to be with me because he wanted to, not as a medical check.
He lifted my chin, his soft gaze flickering over my face. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m feeling self-conscious.”
“About?”
“What if you don’t want me this way? What if I’m only fun to be with when I’m in heat? What if I can’t cope with being just a client and having this life-changing experience end with no guarantee I’ll ever feel this good again?”
He kissed me softly, drowning out my questions that had grown more panicked the more I spoke. “Take a deep breath for me, little kitten.”
I did. Tears pricked my eyes.
I didn’t want to go.
Why did it have to be over?
“You are beautiful and perfect, and you don’t need to be in heat for someone to think that. You’re a client, but you’re not just a client.” Sidney traced my cheeks, rubbing away the wet, salty trails that coated them. “I’m grateful I got to go through this with you and see you become more comfortable and confident. None of that has to go away. Someone is going to be extremely lucky to have you as a partner after we part ways.”
I sniffled.
“I want you,” he insisted. “Any way you’ll have me and as often as you want me while you’re here.”
“What if no one else wants me after this? I don’t know how to be with anyone but you.”
No one had ever wanted me before. How was I supposed to trust that anyone else ever would? Why couldn’t I have the first person who had?
Sidney gathered me to him as the panic swelled in my chest, and I struggled to push it all down. He held me until I could breathe normally and continued to run his hand over my hair.
“You can’t know the future, and now’s not the time to be worrying about this sort of thing. Especially because anyone who doesn’t want you is entirely incorrect.”
He let me cry out my mixed-up feelings. It all poured out—my confusion, my worries, my insecurities—and he took everything, brushing my hair and purring until I’d run my tears dry. By then I felt absolutely pathetic.
Sidney didn’t say a word about my puffy eyes or tear-streaked cheeks. He just wiped those tears away and lovingly tucked my hair behind my ears, gazing up at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. I couldn’t handle the level of adoration in his eyes, so I tucked my head under his chin.
“I have an idea that might help.”
“Yeah?” I clung to him, not daring to look at his face. Embarrassment burned hot on my cheeks from my outburst.
“Go lie on the bed, and I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He patted my hip to prompt me to move.
I didn’t want to go, but I still wanted to know what the plan was. He peeled off all of the layers of the nest and flicked on the air purifier, taking an armload of blankets into his laundry room. With the bed stripped down to the mattress and fresh bedding applied, it didn’t smell like either of us when I threw myself onto it, bundling myself under the stack of fresh blankets to wait. The shower turned on, and I listened to the stream, uncertain as to what was coming. I watched from a gap in my blankets as Sidney entered the room stark naked, his hair still dripping from the shower. He fished a blindfold out of the trunk and peeled open my blankets, handing it to me.
“Put this on.”
I obeyed and stretched out on top of the blankets. Goosebumps decorated my skin. The prominent scent of him I’d grown accustomed to was muted, washed away for the moment. Firm hands wrapped around each of my ankles and tugged me closer. They slid up my calves, the pressure and speed fluctuating until I was shivering. Then the hands disappeared altogether.
“Sidney?”
“Shh. It’s not me right now. Think of me as anyone, as a future partner, someone who’s going to touch you one day.”
I furrowed my brow, but nodded slowly, trying to relax. His thumb brushed over the thatch of hair at the crux of my thighs, and I squeaked. His touch didn’t linger, lasting only long enough to tease my senses before moving on, digging into my hips, palms gliding against my stomach, dancing fingertips tweaking my nipples. Then the order changed again, bits of me touched at random; wrist, throat, navel, breast, thigh, a foxtrot of dextrous fingertips driving me to distraction. Every touch startled me, a little jolt of adrenaline blending with the euphoria of the sensation. Those wicked fingers dove back between my thighs, and he groaned.
“God, you’re so fucking wet.”
It was different from the heat high and the copious slick that had flowed from me. This was entirely me responding to him. Relief settled in at knowing I was capable of it.
I squirmed desperately. “Please.”
He didn’t set about to satisfy me, though, instead returning to his teasing, now adding his mouth. He nipped along my ribs, suckling at my breast while he dug his hands into my skin, pinning me down. Those fingers trailed over my throat, wrapping firmly enough to still me. The rapid hum of my heart beat beneath his other hand. He pulled away again, leaving me untethered in my temporary blindness.
His cock teased the lips between my thighs, sliding through the wetness, but never giving me what I craved. I whimpered, all semblance of pride vanished as he continued to glide over my clit, stopping every so often to press against my entrance until I was shaking beneath him. But still, he left me unsatisfied, switching between tantalizing me with hands, mouth, and cock.
He put his hand back between my thighs, sliding the tip of one finger in to the first knuckle, and I whimpered again. I tried to rock against it, to coax it deeper, but he withdrew when I did.
“Please,” I whined. “I need it.”
Whether out of pity or indulgence, he returned his hand, sliding the single digit in all the way. I squeezed around it. He withdrew, retracing the path with a second finger added. I moaned and arched off the bed, panting as he pumped them at a maddeningly slow pace. He rotated them, testing the resistance, adding a third, letting them stretch me open further as I gasped and clung to the sheets.
Sidney lifted each of my legs in turn, instructing me to grab behind my knees. I obeyed and shuddered with the new angle.
“Fuck.” I groaned, the word coming again, flowing in a chant off my lips. “Fuckfuckfuck. God, don’t stop.”
Incomprehensible sounds spilled out of me as he picked up speed, fingers thrusting into me, the pressure building as each movement battered my G spot. Every impact sent a ripple of sensation through me from head to toe, my sounds growing more desperate the harder he moved inside me until it all burst. I screamed, body convulsing, and I clung to my knees trying to ride out the wave of ecstasy. My throat was raw by the time it faded and I slumped, exhausted.
Sidney slid his fingers free and rolled me over. He climbed into the bed, draping himself over me. I wiggled limp legs open, hoping he would tease me again. His cock was thick and straining against my ass, settled in the groove between my cheeks. My lungs burned and I continued to pull in ragged breaths, face pressed to the sheets. He inched lower and teased my entrance, gliding halfway in before snapping his hips forward. I squeaked at the sudden impact of our bodies, of the delicious stretch and friction of his cock burying inside me. He withdrew again, thrust back with the same precision and force, and the surprise gave way to deep pleasure.
I bit the sheets, muffling the sounds that were forced out of me each time he drove into me. I wanted to touch my clit, but I was pressed down by the weight of him, unable to do anything but receive every bit of depraved pleasure. I whined, dizzy from breathing too hard, body quaking as it struggled to process.
“Harder,” I moaned. It seemed impossible, given how sharp his movements already were, but the next snap of his hips shoved a guttural yelp past my lips. “Oh god. Oh, fuck.”
His mouth found my throat and brushed over my scent gland. He drove into me once more, teeth clamping down. My vision flared white, and the cry I let out was nearly inhuman as he pressed deeper into me, warmth blooming inside. He stayed there, buried in me, tongue lapping at the bruise he’d bitten into my throat. Every bit of me felt like I was under a lead blanket, unable to move.
“Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker.” I laughed, and it turned into a moan as he growled in my ear.
When he slid his cock free, it was a loss felt down to the marrow of my bones. I kept still, nowhere near ready to attempt moving. He lay next to me, pulling the blankets over us.
I woke sometime later. A soreness lingered between my thighs like a phantom to remind me of what he’d felt like. I pulled off the blindfold, squinting into the low light. A pearlescent sky glowed softly on the other side of the closed curtains, but I couldn’t tell if it was dawn or dusk.
Sidney moved against me, drawing my attention back to him. I luxuriated in the sound of his breathing, the little groan when he stretched, and the way his arms tightened around me.
I still thought real life was highly overrated compared to this but had to remind myself again that real life would return whether I wanted it to or not.
“Come shower with me,” Sidney murmured against my skin.
I rolled off the bed and stood on wobbly legs, clinging to him as we walked down the hall. We shared the shower bench this time, taking turns soaping and rinsing the other, washing and conditioning one another’s hair, drying each other afterward. We shared a meal and settled back onto the couch.
He sighed, relaxing under me. “You’re going to be a dream for someone. I’m only sorry it can’t be me.”
I wasn’t sure what to say in response. We hadn’t triggered a heat spike, which meant I was well and truly done with my heat. Tomorrow I’d go home, and that would be that.
“You already were a dream.” I cuddled up tighter. “I couldn’t have asked for anyone better for all of this.”
We passed the night with movies and snacks, both too comfortable and exhausted to move. When morning arrived, bright and bursting with light, I only felt a bittersweet weight settle over my shoulders. I ate the breakfast Sidney made me, savoring each bite, and sipped my tea nestled in his lap.
The hours faded, and we indulged in a last joining, moving slow and sweet, imprinting ourselves upon the body of the other, taking in the last sounds, the last tastes and touches.
Soft bliss settled into me, driving some of the melancholy away, even as I packed up my things and Sidney loaded my suitcase into the car. The drive back to my place seemed to pass in slow motion. I disentangled my hand from his and stared at my home. It felt different now, but then I supposed I was the different one, and not the home.
I’d gone into this with such dread.
I turned to find Sidney watching me, his dark eyes pensive.
“One kiss for the road?” I asked.
His mouth quirked into a smile. I couldn’t tell if the sadness in his eyes was real or wishful thinking on my part. Sidney slid his fingers into my hair, tugging me toward him for the last time. I knew him now and fell into the intoxicating ebb and flow of the kiss, reluctant to pull away even though I knew I had to. My mother was probably staring out the window watching, but I couldn’t even bring myself to care.
He slipped out of the vehicle and walked around to open my door for me. I fell into his arms and pressed my nose to his chest, memorizing the sweetness of him.
His sigh echoed through my bones. “Be good for me until I see you again, okay?”
I nodded, unable to look up at him as the creeping sorrow I’d been pushing back started to overwhelm my defenses.
Sidney fetched my bag from the vehicle and I sucked in a steadying breath, clutching my suitcase handle, every step away from him and up the walk dropping a wall between us. He was back in the vehicle when I reached the door, but waited until it was open before pulling away as I stood on the threshold, watching his vehicle until it turned off onto the main road.
Maybe being an omega wouldn’t be so bad.