Chapter 17
“Are you ready to come out yet?” Mom asked.
“No.” I burrowed deeper into my nest. I had spent basically every waking moment after Sidney dropped me off tucked away in my nest, trying to mitigate my body’s response to him no longer being around. It felt wrong on every level, but there was nothing I could do about it. The clinic really needed to develop a cuddle program but then I would probably never get anything done ever again.
“I got you a weighted blanket,” Mom said. “Do you want to see if it helps?”
I pushed back the top layer of blanket that created a dome around me and let Mom lower the weighted blanket down. It wasn’t the same as having Sidney wrapped around me, but it was better than nothing. Just like the canister of cloves and the diffuser of citrus oil helped trick my brain into thinking he was closer.
I tried not to feel pathetic about all of it, but that was hard to do when I felt like I was going to climb out of my own skin. Each day apart got fractionally easier, but if he snapped his fingers in my direction, I would be there before either of us could blink.
“School starts again tomorrow for you. Are you ready to go back? Do you think you should talk to the doctor about all of this?”
I wasn’t ready to go back, but I was barely halfway through my degree and I couldn’t let this derail my plans. I had mentioned my symptoms in a phone call with the clinic, and while it was stronger than they expected it to be, it wasn’t completely unusual for a first heat. With assurances that things would be better next time, I had sunk back into my nest and fallen asleep to thoughts of Sidney.
“I’ll be fine,” I told Mom.
I flat out refused to be one of those omegas who got obsessed with their heat helper. I knew it wasn’t uncommon, which was why they had the protective laws in place to begin with, but I really hadn’t expected myself to react this way. Somehow I had figured that I would be super mature about it. But evidently not.
“I got you a weighted sweater as well. I’m not sure if it’ll do anything, but it doesn’t hurt to try when you have to be out of your nest.”
I was so tempted to switch to online classes and work on them from the comfort of my nest, but part of me was afraid if I did that I would never leave my room again. The only way I was going to get back to normal was to behave as if everything already was.
I didn’t have to like it, but I did have to do it.