Chapter 4 #2
All these feelings ran through his mind, and sometimes they were just so damned overwhelming.
That was the hardest part of all this. He couldn’t exactly talk to anyone about it.
It felt kind of dumb to try to put it into a text, and yet that was one of the simpler ways he had to communicate.
Harm had looked into some of those text-to-speech programs, but he didn’t want to end up sounding like a robot.
What he really wanted was his own life back, with his voice and the ability to yell and to talk to people about the simple shit in life.
But he also knew he had to accept that what he’d had wasn’t coming back, and he had to look forward rather than behind, and that meant accepting things the way they were.
If he was going to do that, then he needed to figure out a way to make things happen. Sitting around and waiting was not exactly his cup of tea. He had a Facebook account as well as other social media, so he figured he could help get the word out.
THE BUZZER down at the sidewalk pulled Harm out of his story.
He had been curled up on the sofa under a blanket, relaxing before supper.
He wasn’t expecting guests, but he pushed back the blanket and slipped on his slippers before taking the long flight of stairs down to the door.
Peering outside, he saw two strangers at the door.
He unlocked and pulled the door open, staring at the two men, who gaped at him.
“We’re—” one of them began and stopped and looked at the other.
Harm stepped forward, looking up and down the sidewalk in case this was some sort of joke or if it was a setup.
“Umm, so… we’re representatives of the Church of Latter Day Saints, and we were wondering if we could talk to you.
” They looked clean-cut and seemed nice enough, but this was the last thing he wanted.
His book waited, as did the warmth of his blanket.
He signed “no thank you”, the way Derek had taught him, but they didn’t seem to notice.
“Is it all right if we step inside out of the cold?”
Harm shook his head and stepped back to close the door. “Harm, is that you?” a familiar voice said from out in the dark. He turned to see a bundled-up figure who was removing a scarf, grateful that it was Derek. “Is something the matter?”
“No. We were just doing our mission,” one of the men said gently.
“I see. Did you see that he signed to you?” Derek asked forcefully. “He was trying to talk to you, but you weren’t paying attention.” Derek turned to him with that warm smile of his. “Do you want me to handle this for you?”
Harm signed “Yes.”
“He isn’t able to speak, and you pushing in on him isn’t wanted or needed right now. Thank you for stopping by, and good luck with your mission.” Derek’s tone brooked no argument, and they pulled their coats more closely around them and moved on down the sidewalk.
“Thank you,” Harm signed. He hadn’t wanted to be rude, but he was about to close the door on them.
“It’s okay. I was on my way to get some dinner after work and saw you out here with them. I figured they must have gotten you out of a warm cocoon.” Harm smiled and nodded, motioning that he had been reading. “Of course you were. Did you have dinner already?”
Harm had been just about to get himself something to eat. He shook his head and looked down at how he was dressed, trying not to shiver.
“Do you want to join me? I was heading just down the street. Café Belgie is wonderful, and I love their food.” He smiled, and Harm wondered how he was going to communicate what he needed to.
Harm motioned inside and closed the door.
“Okay. Let’s handle this one thing at a time.
Do you want to go?” Harm nodded. “Cool. Do you want to change?”
Harm was relieved that Derek understood, and he nodded once again before leading the way up the stairs.
Derek followed him into his sparse apartment and stood inside the door.
“You can go change. I’ll just stay out here and snoop through your stuff.
” He snickered, and Harm snorted before going to his small bedroom.
He didn’t have much beyond the basics. In the military, he had little more than he could carry.
Harm was never in one place for very long, and he was always careful never to collect things because, more often than not, he’d have to leave them behind.
It was either that or store them. So he stuck to packing light.
Harm changed into some of his nicest clothes: a pair of tan pants and a dark blue oxford shirt.
He dug up a nice pair of shoes and put them on before grabbing his coat.
He didn’t have anything dressy, but Derek wasn’t wearing anything like that, so he figured he was okay.
When he left his room, he found Derek sitting in his chair.
He got right up and smiled. “You look nice.”
He didn’t know how to say that Derek did too, but he hoped his smile would do.
Derek waited for him to lead the way back down, and then on the sidewalk, Derek took the lead.
“It’s only a block or two. The weatherman said that we might get a little snow tonight.
” Harm looked upward and nodded. It was cloudy, and it felt cold enough.
They arrived at the restaurant with Derek talking the entire time about nothing. At the door, Derek pulled it open and held it for him. Harm went inside and took off his coat. “Billy,” Derek said to the man behind the desk. “Can you find a place for the two of us? This is Harm.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Billy said with a polite nod. “Come with me. I have a nice table because a reservation canceled half an hour ago. Otherwise I’d be full.” He showed them the table and wished them a nice meal before returning to the front.
“I really like it here. The food is really good, and so is the service.”
There were so many questions Harm wanted to ask. He pulled out a small pad and a pen from the pocket of his coat before hanging it on the back of his chair. “Do you eat here often?” he wrote and showed it to Derek. For now, this was the best way for him to communicate.
“Maybe once every few months. I really like it. But it’s hard to get a table, and it’s a little pricey. But so worth it.” Their server brought menus, and Harm looked it over.
“How do you know Billy?” Harm wrote.
Derek grinned. “Billy and I met at the library. He has two younger brothers, and when I first started working at the library, Billy brought them in for some of the reading programs. They still come in sometimes, but they’re teenagers now. It seems like they grew up so fast.”
Harm could only nod to that. Time marched on no matter what, and it seemed that lately Harm felt like it was running away with him.