5. Vera
Chapter 5
Vera
S itting on the bed with my legs curled up against my chest I stare at the window, almost fully covered in snow. At least the snow building up against the glass has blocked off that whistling ice-cold wind. But it hasn't made the place any warmer or any more welcoming.
"Hello." A tiny voice makes me jump and spin towards the door. The soft, gentleness is so out of place in the cellar.
Through the lower half of the door, between the one broken slat of wood, two big round brown eyes are looking up at me.
"Who are you?" I ask with amusement touching my voice and a smile on my face.
"Bella."
She is adorable. She can't be more than three or four years old.
"What are you doing here?" I ask as she proceeds to try and wiggle through the broken wooden slat. "No, wait, honey, you are going to hurt yourself." I jump off the bed, worried she will get stuck, but she's already slipped through the small gap.
"Oh my goodness, you're like a little Christmas mouse." I giggle.
The little girl scuttles over to the bed and launches onto it. I sit down next to her.
"Is this your room?" She asks, scrunching her nose as she looks around, obviously not liking the décor.
"Um. Yes. Sort of." I say, wondering where the hell she came from, but loving the fact that she's here. "Where is your mommy and daddy, sweetheart?"
"Mommy a angel. Daddy - " She shrugs.
"Is your daddy here? What's his name?"
"Massmisso." She trips over her father's name and I giggle again.
"Your daddy is Massimo. I know your daddy."
"Oh. Good." She says.
She shifts across the bed, wiggling closer to me. Reaching up towards my face she touches my cheek. "Pritty." She says with the most gorgeous little smile on her lips. My heart is filled with warmth and sadness.
I always wanted to be a mother.
"Not as pretty as you," I reply.
She wiggles against my side, and I wrap my arm around her. I can't help being so drawn to her. She is Massimo's child. My son's sister. We don't share the same blood, but somehow, we are family.
In another life, somewhere in a parallel universe, I was meant to have a baby with Massimo. I don't know if I will ever find my son, or prove my innocence, but in this small moment with his daughter snuggled against me - my heart feels warm. This is just a sample of what it might have been like.
I am torn between the fact that I know she should not be down here but feeling so alone and as though her visit is a Christmas gift of some kind - I sigh, a smile across my lips.
"Sweetheart, I think your dad will be sad that you are down here. Don't you think you should go and find him?"
"Dad busy." She shakes her head.
"What were you doing?"
"Put up lights in a tree. Then Santi claws knows whe I is. He coming soon."
Her face is so serious as she nods at me, her eyes wide. "He is coming soon. And he is probably going to bring you all sorts of wonderful presents."
"Oooh yes. I is a good girl." She giggles and waves her hands in the air to emphasize her statement.
I laugh again. She is like a warm sun in the middle of winter. Everything about her is pure joy and innocence.
I don't want her to go, but I don't want her to stay down here in this cold cellar.
"Bella, I think you need to go back upstairs. Maybe you can go help decorate the Christmas tree with your cousins?"
"Nope." She says, shaking her head.
She leans into me, and I hold her a little tighter .
My entire body goes rigid with tension when I hear heavy footsteps coming down into the cellar.
"Bella." Massimo's voice booms and echoes in the open space.
Bella's eyes grow wide, but then she grins and ducks beneath my blanket.
I am about to tell her to come out when the door flies open and Massimo's dark, angry eyes are on me.
"I - she - she came in here - " I stammer.
From beneath the blanket, curled against my side, Bella giggles and it is the cutest, naughtiest giggle in the world.
Massimo pulls his mouth tight, fighting against his anger. I assume he doesn't want to show it in front of his daughter.
"Bella, get out here. Let me see you." He demands.
She throws the blankets off herself and shouts "Boo."
I hold back my grin because of the heavy tension coming from Massimo.
Massimo's eyes flash with humor - then anger again.
"Bella, get your little butt upstairs and go and help with the decorations."
She sighs dramatically and wiggles off the bed, then turns back to face me. "Bye, pritty lady." She grabs me in a hug and then runs away, slipping past her father and through the door. I hear her little footsteps climb the stairs and I watch Massimo's mood grow darker by the second as he glares at me.
"I don't want you anywhere near her. Do you hear me? She doesn't need any more complications in her life. Complications like you." He snarls with accusation.
"I didn't force her to come in here, Massimo. She snuck in on her own. I tried to tell her to go back upstairs." I say defensively.
"I don't give a fuck what you tried. Never speak to my daughter again." He steps close to the bed and his eyes are lowered down on me. I can feel the heat, the tension, the anger in his stare.
My body surges with desire and fear at the same time.
The kiss is still fresh in my mind.
I reach up and touch my lips unconsciously.
He clenches his jaw and quickly looks away from me.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
I don't need him to be angry with me over anything else. I'm here to try and resolve things between us – not to make the situation worse than it already is.
"I just want to make things right between us, Massimo," I say.
"How? How do you expect things to ever be ok between us? You were exiled for what you did, Vera. You can never undo that."
"I can - I can prove it wasn't me. Then you can lift the exile. You have that power as leader of this family."
I watch the muscles along his jaw feather. His fists clench and unclench at his side.
"Stay the fuck away from my daughter." He won't look at me, but I don't need to see his eyes to know he means it. Family is everything to Massimo. He will do anything to keep them safe. I know - because I used to be part of his family. I used to be welcome.
His immovable desire to protect those he loves is what makes him so good as the head of this mafia family. It's what makes this the most powerful family in our city.
It is also what makes it impossible for me to get him to hear me right now.
"Vera." He says, warning me. "I won't say it again. Stay away from my daughter. She is already suffering the tragic loss of her mother. She doesn't need some exiled woman breaking her heart when she disappears as well."
"Disappears?" I whisper in shock. No, he can't make me disappear. I need to make him see the truth.
"Did you look into Elio?" I ask abruptly. Not knowing if this is my last chance to talk to him or not.
"Why are you so hell-bent on blaming my cousin for your treachery?"
"Just stop - for fuck's sake. Just stop and consider that I wouldn't do that to you. For a second - imagine that I am innocent." I beg him.
"I won't give you that grace, Vera. You don't deserve it."