10. Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten
Charity
I love him with my whole heart…don’t I deserve that kind of love too? -Charity
I can’t stop smiling. Last night, Silver made love to me. Me? Charity, the girl who never gets what she wants. The girl who is always too shy to flirt. The girl who hid behind her hair until she was a teenager. I keep wanting to pinch myself to make sure I’m not living in a dream.
He even woke me up with a kiss this morning and we made love again. I say made love, because that’s what it is. He treats me like I’m precious. He treats me like I matter. Maybe he won’t be able to give me everything I want, but for now I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
“You’re cheesin’ like crazy and humming a Taylor Swift song under your breath.
Either you just got laid or you found the secret to life.
Either way, I want to know. I need something happy to keep my mind off this pregnancy.
” Elsie’s dry voice wakes me out of my happy musings, and I turn to her with my goofy grin still on my face.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I ask in a singsong voice.
Elsie comes to a stop in the middle of the grocery store. “You got laid?” she asks in wonder loud enough for everyone to hear.
I start pushing the cart away from her at a rapid pace. I’m blushing furiously now. “Shh, Elsie. Don’t say stuff like that loud enough for everyone to hear.”
She glances around and nods at a couple of elderly ladies that are standing nearby, mouths agape. “Why not? They’re probably as happy as I am to hear you finally got some romance in your life.”
I duck my head and groan. “Els, that’s not okay to say in public.”
She waves my concern away and hurries to keep up with me. “Whatever. I’m pregnant. People know I’ve had sex.” She leans in and whispers, “News flash. They’ve probably done it too.”
I shake my head and keep pushing the cart. “You’re too much.”
“Slow down! I’m in my waddling stage and you just forgot the buns we need for the cookout,” Elsie commands.
I roll my eyes and finally come to a stop with our already full cart.
We’re having a cookout at Silver’s house tonight with the whole MC there.
As usual, I’ll be cooking up my mac n’ cheese and Silver will be grilling his hamburgers and hotdogs.
During the summer, it’s our usual thing.
Now that we’re kind of well, together, it feels a little domestic.
Like we’re a couple hosting our own barbecue.
I let out a dreamy sigh and Elsie sends me a suspicious look. She drops the bag of buns into the cart and then glances around. The two ladies are still watching us, waiting for the gossip to drop.
“As soon as we’re in the car, you’re giving me details,” she whispers. “You’re off the hook for the next few minutes.”
My shoulders droop in relief, but she isn’t lying. As soon as the groceries are in the back of the SUV and we’re both settled in the car, she starts the interrogation.
“It’s got to be one of the guys, one of the Silver Snakes.” She taps her lip. “I know there’s that new recruit, Bolt. He’s a hottie. Was it him?”
I don’t say anything, but just send her an icy look.
“Okay, nope, obviously not. Let’s see…” She starts naming off every guy in the Silver Snakes and I just tune her out. She’ll never get it anyway. She doesn’t see her brother as an actual man. To him, he’s just her annoying brother. I don’t think she believes he would ever sleep with me.
For some reason, that thought makes me sad. Would Elsie treat me the same if she knew that we slept together?
“Oh, come on, I’ve named every guy in the club, Charity. I guess it could be a guy from your classes, but I don’t think so.” She sighs and looks out the window. “Who haven’t I thought of?”
I don’t say anything, but I do tense up. Any moment now…
“It’s Silver, isn’t it?” she asks in a somber voice. “You were with Silver?” Her voice comes out so quietly that I sneak a look at her face. She looks devastated.
“Elsie…” I didn’t think she would be this upset about it. After all, I love her and think of her as my sister too. My heart sinks. I guess she doesn’t like me as much as I thought.
Her sadness suddenly morphs into anger. “How dare he take advantage of you like that? I mean, he knows better. When I get ahold of him…” She goes on to describe in detail what she would like to do to her brother in retaliation for his supposed seduction of me.
I sit in silence, merely listening to her colorful words. I don’t say anything until we pull in front of the house.
I shut the engine off and turn to her. “Elsie, Silver would never take advantage of me. You know that. I seduced him, actually.”
Her cheeks pinken and she opens her mouth, then closes it.
She opens it again, then closes it. She lets out a long sigh and then sends me a lop-sided smile.
“I never considered that. I mean…” she pauses and takes a deep breath, “I knew you liked him when he first brought you home. I knew you had a crush on him, but the truth is, Silver is, well Silver can be…”
“He can be what, Elsie?” I prod.
Her eyes fill with tears. “He can be difficult. Not mean, difficult, but just hard on himself. After the way we grew up, after his time in the military…” she bites down on her lower lip, “I’m afraid that he’ll never let himself truly be happy.
He’s haunted by so much.” She lays a hand on my shoulder.
“I’m afraid of him hurting you, intentionally or unintentionally, Charity. He’s never had a real relationship.”
I shrug, even though my heart hurts. “Neither have I.” I place my hand over Elsie’s. “Look, no matter what happens, we are family, right? Nothing will change that?”
Elsie nods and wipes away at a tear that has fallen down her cheek.
“That’s right.” She sniffles. “Stupid emotions. Pregnancy makes me so damn emotional. I can’t stand it.
The other day I cried because I put too much pepper in my potato salad and was afraid that Blaze wouldn’t like it.
” She giggles. “He thought something was really wrong. Almost went crazy until I told him I was just crying over potato salad.”
I send her a half smile. “That man adores you. As do we all.” I take a deep breath and reach for the car handle. “Let’s forget everything else and just have a good time. There’s ice cream in one of these bags with your name on it.”
“That’s right. Cookies n’ cream, here I come.”
We both exit the car, but I can still feel her gaze on me as I reach for the bags.
“You’ll come to me if you need me, won’t you Charity?” she asks in a soft voice.
I merely nod. “I will, Els, I promise.” It’s a promise I hope I don’t have to keep.