Chapter 10 #2
“You look overwhelmed, Effie.” Julian’s voice was soft and edged in concern, as my head snapped around to find him in the doorway.
Looking way too handsome, for the record.
He was wearing a pair of dark boots and jeans, with an oversized hoodie and coat.
I fought the urge to adjust his hat, which was placed haphazardly over his messy hair.
“I am,” I admitted, looking over everything.
“I don’t even know what to bring with me today…
and I don’t know what to do with all of these things that aren’t mine.
Not that I’m not grateful, it’s just a lot, and I’m worried that there are some strings attached— I wasn’t going to rip those off,” I said, nearly panicking as Julian snapped the tags off the sweater and then the coat, standing in my space as he offered me an understanding look.
“First.” He smoothed his fingers over my neck gently, wrapping a hand around the back of my neck. “There are no strings attached. Trust me.”
I wanted to. I wanted to trust him so badly.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I mumbled, breaking his hold and picking the tags from the bed, feeling shaky. “We shouldn’t have ripped these off.”
“Why?” Julian frowned, zipping up my jacket before grabbing a scarf and tucking it around my neck. Another tag fluttered to the bed, making me literally physically wince.
I couldn’t even look at the price tag. How could a scarf cost that much?
“Where is that backpack?” He frowned, looking around the room when I didn’t answer. I watched as he walked over towards the desk and grabbed the geometric-patterned backpack. He opened it, pulling out an empty ID thing and yanking the tags off both before adding my wallet into the bag.
I didn’t realize I was hyperventilating until Julian was in front of me, cupping my jaw gently as I tried to breathe through it.
I didn’t know how to describe how I was feeling, except stuck.
That was the feeling associated with my anxiety.
It was like the walls were closing in on me as possibilities that I would have never considered began playing across my consciousness, a cold sweat breaking out on the back of my neck.
My throat felt tight as tears started to well in my eyes.
“Effie, what the hell is going on?” he demanded softly. I couldn’t control my breathing, a tremble working through me at how overwhelming everything was. It made me feel almost lost. Like I was floating at sea and I had absolutely no idea how to anchor myself.
“Fuck—breathe, preciosa,” he demanded sharply, his voice holding a thread of dominance.
I inhaled sharply, almost as if he literally was ordering me to be calm and I was following that order.
It probably didn’t help that I didn’t have any defensive mechanisms up right now.
I could barely control my breathing, yet with one command, I began to do so more steadily.
My eyes widened at the realization of his ability as something sparked in his own.
I melted into him, wondering how this was even possible.
Even Alpha hadn’t had that much control over my wolf or magic.
“None of this is mine,” I explained in a harsh whisper before asking the true question I had on my mind. “And what was that, Julian? How did you do that?”
Alpha had never tested his alpha power on me, not fully or directly, but I knew without a doubt that was what had just occurred with Julian. Why? How the heck had that happened?
“I don’t know.” He frowned, looking towards the door before shaking his head as if clearing a thought. “Come on, let’s get you some breakfast. I need you to trust me, Effie. All of this is yours. Consider it a ‘coming to campus’ gift.”
I couldn’t do that, and he knew it. I felt my eyes begin to water at the concept of someone—four someones—being so sweet. It’s possible there was something more to it… but maybe I was just putting Gerald’s bad influence on them. Who even knew anymore.
Julian adjusted my backpack on my shoulders before kissing my nose gently.
In somewhat of a haze, I followed as he led me from my bedroom.
I knew there was an array of stuff I needed to do today, but I had never felt so overwhelmed.
Where did I even begin with any of this?
Yet when Julian’s hand entangled with mine, I suddenly felt ten times better.
I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself.
I also tried to not ask him about the other boys. It wasn’t my business. Yet, almost as if reading my mind, as we got into the elevator, he answered my question without me needing to put it into words.
“Caedmon left the dorms early today. The other two don’t have class till later,” he explained. “Don’t worry, they will join us sooner rather than later. Probably much sooner. Tore and Dakota are…. focused individuals.”
The elevator suddenly felt far too warm and small, the doors closing and making me realize we had yet to talk about the kiss yesterday.
Once again, Julian offered me no space, backing me up against the wall and dipping his head, pressing a kiss to my forehead and holding me against him.
I loved that. Why did I love that so much?
“Focused?” I asked softly and curiously, wanting to understand why he was saying it so oddly.
Also because I was trying to distract myself from his kissable lips right in front of me.
I knew he had kissed me yesterday, but what if he regretted it or hadn’t meant it like that?
Would he be surprised if I tried to kiss him right now?
“Yeah.” He inhaled and then straightened himself up slightly, the numbers showing that we were nearing the ground floor.
“Are you okay after last night? Or yesterday in general? I know it was a lot.” He frowned then, not giving me time to respond.
“Well, obviously you aren’t okay, after what happened in the bedroom—”
I ran a hand over my hair and brought my fingers up to his jaw, his body tightening with my touch as his gaze flickered down to my lips as well. “I’m fine. It’s just a big change. I’m okay though. Well, I will be okay… probably.”
“You are going to be better than okay. I promise,” he sincerely added, offering me one of those looks that seemed to promise everything would be alright forever.
He had no right to offer me one of those looks.
I went up slightly on my toes, my lips nearly brushing his, or at least, that was the goal…
but then the elevator door opened and the chime had me jumping slightly as I hit his jaw.
He groaned slightly, chuckling as I turned bright red, dipping my head as I suddenly worried that he was going to think I was an idiot or be mad at me for hurting him.
I tried to flee the elevator, but Julian tipped my jaw back and pressed our lips together in a searing kiss that had me sighing into him.
He groaned as the elevator chimed again, scolding us for blocking the doors from closing, causing him to pull back before our kiss had even fully started.
I blinked, realizing that that was, in fact, a kiss.
Julian had kissed me, and there was no denying it now.
He flashed a smile and led me into the lobby of the building.
I couldn’t help the slight pout on my lips, realizing that I had missed the opportunity to deepen the kiss between us.
I had a very vested interest in feeling how his tongue piercing would change our kiss or feel against my skin…
“Plus, today will be so busy, you won’t have time to be nervous,” he promised, flashing a smile that went a long way to making me feel better.
“You will be with me all day, right?” I asked nervously. “I mean, I don’t want to interrupt whatever you had planned. You have a lot going on, and I know I’m not your first priority.”
“Hey.” Julian paused us as we stopped in front of the front door of the building, snow swirling on the other side of the glass. “I am one hundred percent here for you. I’m going to make sure that one of us is with you all day. You aren’t doing this on your own.”
Nodding, I watched as he pulled gloves from his pocket and slipped them onto my hands, briefly interrupting the fact that he had intertwined our fingers.
I honestly had no idea where the gloves had come from, but I wasn’t going to complain, especially if it allowed me to stare at his handsome face.
He seemed so concentrated, making sure each finger fit into the right space, before muttering something under his breath.
Something that I could have focused on if staring at him, observing every inch of his expression, wasn’t so distracting.
I blinked up at him when he finished, and a serious look crossed his face before he flashed me a smile.
It was slightly more hesitant, as if something was bothering him, before his dimples made an appearance, making my face flush.
He really had way too much of an effect on me.
My eyes flashed down to his lips. He had kissed me… twice. My first kiss.
Should I tell him? I should tell him, right? Not yet though.
As we walked outside, I realized that despite the bitter chill and snow falling from the gray skies, it was a rather peaceful morning.
I winced at how bright the limited amount of sunshine was as it broke through to hit the ice.
There wasn’t a ton of wind, but I could still feel the icy bite against my skin.
Campus was actually extremely calm in comparison to yesterday, and I had to wonder how early people got up for class.
I had never considered something like that because I had never even considered going to college, yet here I was…
holding hands with Julian. While we walked hand in hand, I found myself realizing that it felt far more natural than I imagined. How was that possible?