Chapter 27
TESSA
The boardroom felt sterile under the harsh fluorescent lights as I sat across from Daniel, transcripts spread between us on the mahogany table.
Three weeks had passed since I'd walked out of that hotel room, three weeks of working directly for the CFO instead of Lucian.
The arrangement had been Daniel's suggestion the morning after our confrontation—a way to distance me from the scandal while proving my value to the company.
Through the windows, I could see the first holiday decorations appearing in the office building across the street, a reminder that Thanksgiving was only two weeks away.
"These notes from the Henderson acquisition are excellent," Daniel said, scanning the pages I'd compiled. "Your analysis of their debt structure caught issues our entire team missed."
I managed a weak smile, fighting another wave of nausea that had been plaguing me for days. The peppermints I'd been sucking constantly helped, but barely. "Thank you. I'm glad I could help."
Daniel's sharp eyes studied my face with concern. "You've seemed distracted lately. Are you feeling alright?"
"I've been a bit under the weather, but I'm fine." I reached for another peppermint from the roll in my jacket pocket, hoping the mint would settle my churning stomach.
He leaned back in his chair, and I watched his expression shift. "Tessa, I know this whole situation has been trying for you. But I think you are doing a fantastic job."
"Of course, Mr. Mercer. I just want to do well." I forced a weak smile but didn't understand where he was going with this.
"I was never on board with Viktoria's campaign against Lucian.
" His voice dropped to a more personal tone.
The crevices in his forehead deepened. "But Robert Vaughn and two other board members are listening to her poison.
Having you work with me instead of Lucian…
it's not just about protecting your career. It's about saving his."
Simply hearing his name was wrecking me. This was the hardest thing I'd ever done.
I wanted to be with him so badly, but I had to push him away to save him and myself.
And the scary part was it wasn't over yet. I still had to tell him about the baby.
"Here." Daniel pushed a box of tissues across the table, his expression gentling. "I know this is difficult."
I dabbed at my eyes, trying to compose myself. "I thought you were against him."
"No, I never was, but I have to play the game carefully. If the board sees you as Lucian's weakness, then removing you from his direct supervision eliminates their ammunition." He paused, studying my reaction. "The real question is what is actually going on. Do you love him or something?"
The blunt question caught me off guard, and more tears spilled over. "Daniel—"
"It's written all over your face every time someone mentions his name. You go pale when he walks into a room, you've lost weight, and you look heartbroken." His voice carried no judgment, only concern. "Do you love him?"
I closed my eyes, the truth burning in my chest. "Can you promise me you're really on his side? That you want him to succeed?"
"I swear it. All I want is for Lucian to run this company the way he was born to do. He built the damn thing. Everything else is politics and noise."
I didn't know if he was setting me up or offering me a life line, but the dam inside me burst.
'He offered to mentor me," I blurted out. "He said he saw potential in me that no one else bothered to notice." The words came out in a rush of garbled, jumbled phrases. "He treated my ideas seriously, gave me projects that challenged me, made me feel intelligent and capable."
Daniel nodded encouragingly. "And?"
"I started developing feelings for him. I don’t think he ever knew, but I knew." I twisted the tissue in my hands, the paper disintegrating between my fingers. "I knew it was inappropriate, knew it could destroy both our careers, but I couldn't help it."
"What happened?"
"He would've toed the line to make sure I could continue rising, but I told him it had to be over. I couldn’t handle the guilt of knowing I was in love while his ex-wife destroyed him, all so I could advance my career.
" It was a version of the truth, but I wasn't sure how much to reveal to him, or how "on Lucian's side" Daniel Mercer was.
"When his ex-wife showed up with those photos, and you confronted us about improper conduct, I realized the cost was too high. For both of us."
Daniel was quiet for a long moment, and I worried I'd revealed too much. But when he spoke, his voice was warm with approval.
"You did the right thing, even though it doesn't feel like it now.
Love shouldn't destroy the people involved.
" He gathered the transcripts into a neat stack.
"Your sacrifice is protecting him, whether he realizes it or not.
And I think you're doing fine here." He sighed and said, "And you're going to make an excellent analyst someday, even if you aren't learning from the best."
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
If only he knew the whole truth—that I was carrying Lucian's child, that every day I didn't tell him felt like another betrayal, that I was protecting not just his career but the secret of our baby.
"Take the afternoon off," Daniel said kindly. "You look exhausted."
I thanked him and gathered my things, grateful for the reprieve. The office was already buzzing with talk of holiday schedules and the annual Christmas gala that would be held in December—the same event where everything had started between Lucian and me last year.
But as I stepped into the hallway, my fragile composure shattered. Lucian was walking toward the boardroom, probably for his meeting with Daniel, and the sight of him made my chest constrict with longing.
He looked tired, older somehow, with new lines around his eyes, puffy bags from lack of sleep. His hair was mussed, and his beard was unshaven stubble from a few days.
I hated myself for whatever it was that did that to him, because it was definitely my fault. Viktoria would never have come after him if it wasn't. When our eyes met, I saw pain there that mirrored my own.
"Hello, Tessa." His voice was calm, but I caught the warmth underneath.
"Hey," I breathed.
"How are you feeling? You look pale."
The genuine concern in his voice nearly undid me. Here he was, worried about my wellbeing when I was keeping the biggest secret of both our lives from him.
The baby—our baby—was growing inside me while he had no idea he was going to be a father again.
"I'm fine. Just tired." Refusing the urge to touch my stomach, I focused on tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Have dinner with me tonight." He glanced up the hallway as if checking to make sure no one was coming. "Please. I miss talking to you."
My heart clenched at the longing in his voice. I missed him too—desperately, achingly missed our conversations and the way he made me feel.
But I knew that seeing him outside of work would only make this harder for both of us.
"I can't," I whispered. "You know I can't."
"Why not? We're both adults. We can have dinner without—"
"Because it's not fair to either of us." I forced myself to meet his eyes, to let him see my resolve even as it was crumbling inside.
"Because every time I see you, it gets harder to do what's right.
" I wanted to tell him, and dinner with him would've been the perfect opportunity, but he just wasn't ready yet. Or maybe I wasn't ready yet.
"How does anyone know what's right?" When he looked at me, I felt a twinge of guilt in my chest. This wasn't the way a man with just an "arrangement" would act. Lucian was acting as if my not sleeping with him anymore was destroying him and not the scandal with Viktoria and his children.
The pain in his voice made tears spring to my eyes. "What's right is protecting both our futures. Your career, your relationship with your children, your reputation—they're all more important than whatever this was between us."
"What if I don't agree?" Again, I caught a faint hint of something more under the surface, or maybe I wanted to.
Maybe I was imagining that he wanted more with me, that he had feelings for me the way I did for him. But if that were the case, it wouldn't just end our careers.
It would go nuclear and I’d have to hide for years to outlive the shame of what we'd done.
"Then you're not thinking clearly." I stepped back, putting physical distance between us because being close to him made rational thought impossible. "I have to go."
I turned and walked quickly toward the elevator, but I could feel his eyes following me.
When the doors closed and I was finally alone, the sobs I'd been holding back broke free.
My shoulders shook as weeks of suppressed emotion poured out, and I had to grip the elevator rail to keep from collapsing.
The doors opened on my floor, and I stumbled toward my new desk in Daniel's outer office.
But Jamie was there, chatting with another colleague, and she took one look at my tear-streaked face before rushing over.
"Tessa, what's wrong?" She guided me toward the ladies' room, her voice full of concern.
"I can't do this anymore," I sobbed against her shoulder. "I can't keep pretending everything is fine when it's falling apart."
"Is this about him?" Jamie asked gently. "About Mr. Cross?"
I couldn't answer, could only cry harder as she rubbed my back and murmured soothing words.
She didn't know about the baby, didn't know about the nights we'd spent together or the way he'd made me feel cherished and valuable.
She only knew that I was heartbroken over a man I couldn't have.
"Come on," she said softly. "Let's get you cleaned up. You don't want anyone to see you like this."
She was right. I couldn't afford to fall apart at work or let anyone suspect there was more to my relationship with Lucian than professional mentorship.
I had to protect both of us, even if it was destroying me from the inside out.
But as Jamie helped me fix my makeup and compose my expression, I couldn't stop thinking about the baby.
By Christmas, I'd be showing—there would be no hiding it then.
Eventually, I'd have to tell Lucian about it. Eventually, the pregnancy would show and questions would be asked.
The thought of spending the holidays alone, carrying his child while he remained oblivious, made my chest ache with fresh pain.
But while his career hung in the balance and his family was already turning against him wasn't the time to add more pressure.
I'd wait for the dust to settle, for the board to make their decision, for some sign that revealing the truth wouldn't destroy what remained of his life.
Even if the waiting was destroying mine.