Chapter 26
LUCIAN
The knock came at eight thirty, after I'd been pacing the hotel room for twenty minutes, second-guessing everything about this meeting.
After today's disasters, maybe I should've given us both space to process.
But the thought of spending another night alone, replaying Daniel's threats and Viktoria's calculated cruelty, had been unbearable.
I didn’t want space.
I wanted Tessa to know how I felt about her. I needed to know how she felt about me.
When I opened the door, Tessa stood in the hallway looking like a lost puppy hoping I'd take her in.
The usual spark in her hazel eyes was dimmed by emotion and I could tell she'd been crying.
Her eyes were red rimmed and her nose was red and puffy. It tore me up and instantly, I wished I'd just brought her here myself after work instead of allowing her to go home and stew for a few hours before coming.
"Thank you for coming," I said, stepping back to let her enter.
She nodded but didn't speak, padding past me into the room.
The space felt altogether too comfortable and normal.
We'd spent so many nights romping in hotels for the past ten months, the adventure had worn off long ago. Maybe that was fitting.
"Wine?" I gestured toward the bottle of cabernet I'd ordered from room service, hoping the familiar ritual might ease some of the tension radiating from her.
"No," she sighed, turning toward me. "I need to keep my head clear tonight."
Tessa always wanted a glass of wine to help her relax, and I'd have a glass of whiskey or something to ease my stress. It was the first hint to me that something wasn't right.
I turned my back on her briefly as I poured myself a glass, needing something to do with my hands, but my gut knotted up with worry that she was about to tell me she wanted space, or worse—end this.
"Today was brutal. I'm sorry you had to witness Daniel's performance."
"It wasn't a performance." She finally looked at me directly, and I saw exhaustion in every line of her face. "He meant every word."
"He's scared. They all are. When Viktoria gets her claws into someone—"
"Stop." The word came out fierce, cutting through my explanation. "This isn't about your ex-wife's manipulation. This is about the reality of what we're doing." I looked at her, really looked, and saw fear in her eyes.
I set the wine glass down untouched, moving closer to her. When I reached out to touch her face, she didn't pull away, but she didn't lean into the contact either.
Her skin felt warm under my palm, but she remained rigid.
"Luci, I don't want either of us to lose our jobs." Tessa's head dropped and I used a finger to push her jaw up.
"We'll figure this out," I said quietly. "Whatever it takes."
She closed her eyes at my words, and for a moment I thought she might cry.
When I kissed her, she responded but without her usual fire. Her lips moved against mine mechanically, going through motions rather than feeling them.
I could sense her withdrawal even as she allowed the intimacy, and it made every touch feel hollow.
I deepened the kiss, hoping to draw her closer, but she let me lead without offering much in return. Her hands slid up my chest, resting there with no urgency.
I pulled her blouse open, buttons slipping free under my fingers, and eased the fabric from her shoulders. She didn’t resist, but she didn’t help either.
Her bra followed, and I lowered my mouth to her breast where I tasted her precious skin.
She sighed softly, still not giving me the responses I wanted, but her body responded when I closed my lips around her nipple. A faint arch of her back gave me something to hold on to.
I trailed kisses down her stomach, giving her the chance to stop me but she didn’t.
So I unzipped her skirt, slid it down her hips, and drew her panties with it. She stepped out of them and eased back onto the bed, watching as I stood and undressed in front of her, her eyes following each piece of clothing I removed.
And when I moved toward the bed, she let her legs fall to the sides.
I knelt between her legs and bent to taste her. The first stroke of my tongue pulled a gasp from her throat.
She gripped the sheets, her body jerking at the sensation, and for the first time tonight, I saw the tension in her face shift.
I held her open with one palm played on each of her inner thighs, and worked her slowly, letting her body decide when she was ready to give in.
Her thighs closed around me when the pleasure built too high. She moaned a low and strained sound, and her hips lifted into my mouth.
When she came, it was quick and sharp, her breath catching in a broken cry.
Still she said nothing, and made no effort to let herself come loose the way she normally did.
I kissed her stomach and climbed back over her. I looked into her eyes and said quietly, “I want to be inside you…” She kissed me then, with more heat than before, pulling me close as if she wanted to forget everything else for just a little while.
I pushed into her slowly an inch at a time and drew a new sound from her throat.
She clutched at my shoulders, her nails grazing my skin as I filled her. Her lips parted, and the low moan that escaped carried more need than anything she had shown tonight.
“God, you feel incredible,” I breathed against her ear. I held still, letting her adjust, feeling her body tighten around me. “I’ve been thinking about this all day."
She shifted under me, her legs wrapping around my waist, pulling me deeper. I started to thrust in a rhythm that let me watch every flicker of sensation cross her face. Her eyes fluttered shut, then opened again, meeting mine with a faint spark.
“That’s it,” I murmured, kissing the corner of her mouth. “Don’t hold back from me. I want all of you.”
Her hips began to lift into mine, each thrust drawing a gasp. I kissed down her jaw, her throat, tasting the pulse that thrummed there.
Her body gradually gave to the movement as she gripped my biceps more tightly and her breathing grew ragged.
The change was subtle but real. She moaned louder, her head tilting back, her chest pressing into mine. Her muscles clenched around me as her climax built again.
“Come for me,” I whispered into her mouth, the words hot against her lips. “I need to feel it.”
Her cry broke as she came. Her entire body shook and she clutched at me with desperate strength, her walls squeezing tight around me in hard, pulsing waves that went on and on.
I held her hips and drove deep, the force of her climax pulling me over the edge. My own orgasm ripped through me in heavy surges, each one wringing another groan from my chest as I spilled inside her.
I stayed buried in her, our breaths harsh, our skin damp. She rested her forehead against mine, her arms still wound around my neck.
The room was quiet, just the sound of us trying to catch our breath, holding on to the closeness neither of us wanted to name.
But I felt further from her than ever. Tessa stared at the ceiling, turned slightly away from me, and the distance between us felt insurmountable.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be—but it was entirely my fault. When I discovered I was feeling things for her, I should've said it. I should never have kept my emotions from her.
It probably made me look erratic and flaky, when in reality, I was just tormenting myself.
"I've been thinking about your future," I said, trying to bridge the gap I could feel widening between us. "About the MBA program you mentioned."
She turned her head to look at me, wariness creeping into her expression.
"I want to pay for it." I knew immediately as I said it that it was the wrong thing, but I couldn’t stop myself.
"Full tuition, living expenses, whatever you need.
You're brilliant, Tessa. You deserve better than making coffee and answering phones.
" Throwing things at her instead of telling her how I felt was ridiculous.
But Tessa didn't want a man my age. She wanted a sperm donor and her young, independent life.
Her face went completely blank. "Is that what this is? Your way of buying me off?"
"No, that's not—" I sat up, running my hand through my hair. "I want to help you. If Daniel's going to diminish your role at Cross Capital, then we need to show them how serious you are about your career. And if you need something to fall back on, a degree would help you. We should—"
"We?" She was sitting up now too, pulling the sheet around herself defensively. "There is no 'we' in this situation, Lucian. There's you, trying to manage another business problem."
"You're not a business problem." It stung and took the air out of my sails to hear how she thought I felt about her.
"Then what am I?"
I couldn't answer that. I sat rigid, like a deer in headlights, wishing Viktoria would have just kept her nose in her own business, that Blake and Elena would understand I have to move on and that life offered me a way.
I wanted to tell her everything.
That she was the reason I looked forward to Monday mornings instead of dreading them.
That her laugh had become the soundtrack to my happiness.
That I'd burn down Cross Capital and everything I'd built if it meant keeping her in my life.
But the words stuck in my throat, held back by twenty years of emotional walls and the fear that saying them out loud would make her run.
"You're important to me," I said instead, the understatement tasting bitter on my tongue.
She was already reaching for her clothes and showing how agitated she was. "Important enough to throw money at, but not important enough for honesty."
"Tessa, wait—"
But she was dressing quickly, her back turned to me as she pulled on her skirt.
When she faced me again, I saw tears she was trying to hide.
"Please stay," I said, desperation bleeding into my voice. "We can talk through this."
"There's nothing to talk through." Her tone broke and trembled and it crushed my heart. She didn't seem angry. She seemed distraught, like this was killing her. "I know what I am to you, and I know what this is."
I reached for her hand, needing some connection, some way to stop the conversation from spiraling beyond repair. "You don't understand—"
"I understand perfectly." She pulled away from my touch, and the rejection felt physical. "This is over, Lucian."
Her words were a knife to my chest. "What?"
"Us. This arrangement. Whatever we've been doing—it has to be over now." Tessa blinked back tears and slid her shirt on, and I sat gutted, sheet draped over my thighs. "We have to stop doing this."
She continued dressing, but I couldn't think straight to form a coherent answer.
I was just going to tell her I loved her, that I'd burn my world to the ground just to have her.
"You're forty-eight. I'm twenty-six. The age gap alone makes this inappropriate, but add in the power dynamic and it becomes indefensible.
" Her voice was gaining strength now, as if she were talking herself into this as much as me.
"Your children hate me without even knowing who I am.
Your ex-wife is using me as a weapon against you.
The board sees me as evidence of your poor judgment. "
"None of that matters—"
"It all matters." She stopped, tears now streaming fully down her cheeks. "Your career, your relationship with your children, your reputation—you're sacrificing everything for what? Great sex with your assistant?"
The clinical way she reduced everything between us to physical attraction felt cruel, but I could see the pain behind her composure. She was protecting herself the only way she knew how.
"If that's all this is," she continued, tears finally spilling over, "then the price we're both paying is too high."
I wanted to tell her she was wrong.
That this wasn't about sex or convenience or any of the superficial motivations she'd listed.
That I loved her with a desperation that terrified me, that she'd become the center of my world without my realizing it was happening.
But the words wouldn't come. I was incapable of speaking the truth when it mattered most. I felt paralyzed.
She waited, giving me one last chance to say something that might change her mind.
When I remained silent, she nodded as if I'd confirmed her worst fears.
Still, I sat silently helpless on the bed. I was going to tell her I loved her, and she came telling me we had to end things.
And worse yet, her entire demeanor during sex had only backed that up. She let me use her, that's how much she respected me, and I didn't notice or pay attention to it.
"Goodbye, Lucian."
The door closed behind Tessa as she walked out, and I sat alone in the bed, staring at the space where she'd been standing. My heart might as well be a brick. I felt that hollow.
This wasn't how it was supposed to end.