Silver Fox’s Intern Dilemma (Off-Limits Doctors #2)
1. Sophia
1
SOPHIA
S currying up the hallway after the pair of doctors I'd only just met, I tucked a strand of my straight brown hair around my ear. It'd fallen from the ponytail I had to wear for work because I had to hastily stuff it up in a rubber band upon arriving. My schedule said to be here at eight, but I wasn’t informed there would be thirty minutes of prep to get set up for my first day.
Running late and playing catch-up wasn't the best way to make a good impression on my new boss, Dr. Jack Thornton, chief resident of surgery here at Twin Peaks. Five minutes on the actual job and I was already making a fool of myself and feeling intimidated. Meanwhile, Dr. Calvin Briggs, the other intern assigned to Dr. Thornton, seemed smug about having known the routine ahead of time, which wasn't difficult given he was a second-year resident and I had never worked here.
"Try to keep up, Dr. Chen, we don't have all day." Dr. Thornton was stern and serious, and who would expect anything less. He walked so quickly with his long legs that my tiny four-foot-eleven frame could hardly keep up. I felt like I was running a marathon just trying to stay with the men who both towered over me, though Dr. Thornton had a few inches on Dr. Briggs. I wondered if they always walked this fast or if they were doing it to spite me.
"Sorry, I'm so sorry," I muttered, breathless. I clutched my chart to my chest and flicked the hair out of my eyes again. The damn unruly strand was going to bug me all day. Hopefully, I'd have time at lunch to get a brush and put it up properly. Had I known anyone with long hair had to tie it back properly even on non-surgery days, I'd have done it before I got here. I wanted to make a good impression, not flounder like this.
"So, let's jump right into things. We have a bit to catch up on now that we have a late start." I could've sworn he gave me an evil eye, but I averted my gaze so I didn't have to feel the sting of disappointment.
I did, however, catch the smirk on Dr. Briggs's face and knew he was getting a kick out of this. How much more foolish could I look having been late? I was outnumbered on my team. I had secretly hoped the other intern I was partnered with would be a female, and this was just my luck. Dad's lectures about how I'd be happier somewhere "more prestigious" didn't even begin to touch why I was tense right now.
I stutter-stepped to keep up as Dr. Thornton walked us through the hospital, and I tried to remember every twist and turn. I had to focus on where we were going and how to get back on top of the breakdown of things he planned to discuss with me specifically over the next few weeks. There was self-care and time management, introduction to our clinical workflow, and so many other things.
The longer he talked, the better I felt and the more I settled in. It wasn't any easier to keep up with his long legs, but I managed to scribble some important notes in my notebook. I'd long forgotten where we were and would probably have to ask someone for directions on how to get back to the main office area and doctors’ lounge, but at least he'd already forgotten about my being late.
"Alright, first pop quiz of the week," Dr. Thornton said as he turned around. He walked backward, thankfully at a slower pace than he had been walking, and continued talking. "Patient has had surgery on his lung. It's twenty-four hours post-op and he's developed a high fever. What do you think it is? Dr. Chen…?"
He looked at me, and I felt suddenly flustered. My mind went blank when I tried to recall my training and the finals I took only a few months ago. I felt hot, my heart racing, and I shook my head. "Uh… infection," I said hesitantly, and I had so much self-doubt it was impossible for him to not see it. I had to have been as white as a sheet.
"Dr. Chen, you're not a first-year med student. You're a licensed physician. This is your surgical residency. I don't have time for hand holding. What is it?" Dr. Thornton's scowl unnerved me more than I already was. I didn’t know what to say. I fumbled for words.
"I, uh.” It was like my brain forgot how to think and I couldn't put together a coherent sentence. All my schooling, straight As all the way through and graduating Summa Cum Laude, and I was a real flop. "I guess it could be?—"
"Guess? You're saving lives here. You're not paid to guess." He shook his head at me and rolled his eyes in frustration. "Dr. Briggs," he said and looked at my co-intern.
"It's atelectasis. The lungs aren't fully inflating post-op." Dr. Briggs delivered his answer with such confidence it had me rattled. I felt my cheeks warming and my palms sweating.
"Yes, atelectasis is correct. This is basic stuff, people. I shouldn't have to remind you of any of this at all. Now let's get going." He turned and continued walking, drilling off a few more questions as my wounded ego screamed into my ears what a dummy I was.
I tucked the same damn strand of hair behind my ear and dipped my chin so I could make more notes on my notepad. If I learned nothing else in this situation, it was that I needed to study more. He was right. I wasn't being paid to make stupid mistakes and put patients in harm's way. I had to be more on the ball and show how capable I was even when my own self-confidence faltered.
I followed both of them around but stayed quiet for a lot of the morning. It gave me time to reflect on Dr. Thornton and his teaching method and work ethic. He seemed like a very smart man, very confident and self-assured. He was brilliant too. Everything that came out of his mouth was punctuated with importance and value. It was like he didn't let a single word slip off his tongue unless it would teach me something, and though I doubted Dr. Briggs needed to learn any of this stuff, even he seemed to be soaking it in.
Around lunchtime, I was finally able to take a short break and put my hair up correctly. I hid in the ladies’ restroom and cried softly about how much I wanted to make a good impression and how badly I'd done at that. Dr. Thornton probably thought I was a fool or at the very least too shy. Dr. Briggs had made faces that led me to believe he thought I was stupid, and even a few nurses gave me the stink eye today.
I was glad I'd taken this internship, though. If I did what my father wanted me to do and I got dropped into some super prestigious hospital with world-class doctors, I'd have been humiliated and probably sent home. Those places wanted the best of the best, and while I knew I was really smart and very capable with medicine and a scalpel, I wasn’t the best when it came to one-on-one pressure with a boss or teacher. I never had been. I did better on my own or in crowds, and I was going to find this very challenging.
I was also going to find it challenging to concentrate. No one told me Dr. Thornton was going to be the hottest physician on the hospital roster. It was bad enough to have him as a boss knowing how strict he was and what he expected from his interns, but to have to be around someone so gorgeous and not get flustered was impossible.
A stupid smile stretched across my face and I knew I had to wipe it off. I had to go back out there and do something I'd never done before. I had to act like I wasn't attracted to him at the same time I had to let go of my personal hang-ups about the way people saw me so I could be more confident and ace this job.
I splashed some cold water on my face, tightened my ponytail, picked up my notebook, and headed back into the main hall. One way or another, I'd adjust and get my feet under me, and then I would prove to Briggs and Thornton that I was a force to be reckoned with. I just hoped I could do it without anyone knowing how hot I thought my boss was.