Silver Fox’s Secret Baby (Off-Limits Doctors #1)
1. Lily
1
LILY
E than's searing kiss before rolling off my sweat-soaked body was almost painful. The ache of knowing our short time tonight was over carved out a hollow spot inside me, and I whimpered when he pulled away.
"You don't really have to go back yet, do you?" I reached for him, letting my hand trail down his side and rest on his thigh as he sat on the edge of the narrow lower bunk in the doctors’ on-call room. He glanced at me over his shoulder and smirked as he pulled off the full condom and tied it in a knot.
"Lily, I could stay here all night, but eventually, someone is going to walk in those doors, and you know what that would mean for us." I watched him stand and collect the empty foil wrapper from the condom. He walked to the trash can to discard them, and I rolled to my side to admire his toned curves. Twelve years older than me but with the body of a thirty-year-old… just looking at him made me want him again.
"Please, just a few minutes…" I patted the bed, and he turned. His eyes flicked to the door before returning to meet my gaze, and he sighed and picked up his boxers.
"A few…"
The tiny room was lit by a small lamp in the corner, not enough light to read by, but enough to enjoy the intimate moment. The glaring overhead fluorescent lighting was off for now, my choice. I preferred to make love in the dark when we rendezvoused here. Ethan preferred to not even think of our ethical indiscretions while on the hospital campus, but after the past nine months of frolicking and getting to know each other, I'd gotten him to loosen up.
"Mmm." I pulled him in as he lay back down beside me, this time with boxers on. His face still smelled like my sex, which wasn't at all a turn off to me. Though lately, smells had been making me a bit nauseous. "You are incredible, Dr. Matthews." Draping my arms around him, I brushed my lips across his and enjoyed the faint, salty flavor of my skin on him.
"We're taking risks, Lily." His voice was low and gravelly, a firm warning to me that he felt uneasy, but his hands groped my body, making sure there wasn't even enough space for air to slither between us.
When he deepened the kiss, I rolled to my back and the mattress groaned under our combined weight. His body crushed my breasts, which were very tender, and I felt love welling up in my chest, making me teary-eyed. I'd done a lot of that lately—get teary-eyed. At first, I chalked it up to work stress, but with the added breast tenderness and now the nausea, I knew it could only mean one thing. But I was waiting.
If a baby was on the horizon, I wanted to announce it in a special way. Besides, the residency hours hadn't been easy, and I barely had time to eat, let alone run to a pharmacy for a test.
"So, this weekend… You want to go to dinner somewhere?" I asked, lacing my hands through his short brown hair peppered with strands of silver. It was distinguished and attractive. Despite being older, Ethan still had the entire package— great looks, amazing personality, fantastic sexual drive, and everything about him made me want him more.
"I like that idea… Though we have to be careful?—"
"I know," I said, interrupting. He didn't need to finish his sentence in order for me to get the point. He reminded me relentlessly that we were going against hospital policy. As a resident, I was prohibited from dating any doctor on staff, let alone my boss, but he and I hit it off so well. It was impossible to resist flirting with him, and one thing led to another, and now we were here, tangled in each other and sneaking around behind the administrations’ backs.
"I just thought…" I let my voice trail off. Ethan and I agreed early on that we'd divulge our relationship once my first year was up and I was put on someone else's team. Sadly, HR didn't accept my transfer request, and short of going to a different hospital entirely, I was stuck reporting to him for another full year, which meant keeping what we had going a secret for even longer. I couldn’t even articulate to him how much that depressed me.
"I'm sorry, baby. It's for the best.” Ethan curled a strand of my curly hair around my ear and kissed my forehead. "I promise you, it will be worth it. We're doing so well right now. I'm not ashamed to make the world know you're mine, and I love you, but both of us rely on our jobs here…"
His logic was sound, but I still disliked it. And if I really was pregnant, it was going to change things in the near future, anyway. Ethan might think differently about the situation then. I just didn't want to get him all excited if a test showed I wasn't pregnant. So I'd wait a bit longer. Dinner this weekend would be a good time to talk to him.
I sucked in a breath and sighed. "Yes, it will be worth it. Eventually… someday." Having him in my arms right now, though, was my consolation. "And then we'll have forever." He hadn't proposed yet, but we had talked at length about a life together, having a child—at least one. He wanted to have a son to carry on his family name. I wanted a little girl. If I was pregnant, I didn't care what the sex was, as long as they were healthy.
"So, this weekend?" I prodded, again whining as he rolled off the bed.
"Yes. My place. You know the drill." He reached for his pants and shirt, then tossed mine at me. I'd only just clocked off. I hadn't even changed out of my scrubs yet, and we couldn't keep our hands off each other.
"Yes, love. I'll park in the back and come in through the kitchen." Sitting up, I took my scrubs from him and saw my bra and panties on the floor by the table across the room where this all started.
I slid off the bed and tiptoed toward my underwear, and the door burst open. I gasped, using my scrubs to cover myself as the light flicked on and Dr. Hayward gawked at me. His jaw dropped, then his forehead creased as he turned to look at Ethan.
"What the…" Hayward was only a few years older than me but a stickler for rules. And finding me completely naked, hiding behind my wadded-up scrubs, and Ethan with only his slacks on, was probably like striking gold for him. I saw the smirk before he spoke. "Naughty little doctors, aren't you?"
"Jack, please…" Ethan spoke first, reaching out toward his colleague, and all I could do was back toward the kitchenette area and whimper in shame. We weren't supposed to get caught.
"Looks like Dr. Matthews has some explaining to do…" Dr. Hayward's eyes narrowed on me. They swept down to my feet then back up to my face. "Aren't you his resident? Oh, the board will have a field day with this. My God, you two are foolish."
He started to back out of the room, and Ethan reached for him. "Jack, wait…" But Dr. Hayward slipped out and shut the door before Ethan could catch him.
My heart hammered against my ribcage as I watched Ethan scramble to put his shirt and shoes on. I stood there like a statue, paralyzed by the fear of what he was thinking and what might happen.
"Ethan…" I muttered, but he was flustered, mumbling something under his breath about the hospital policy and this being disastrous. My stomach churned, and I thought I might throw up. I picked up my underwear and put them on, then my bra. Ethan was tying his shoes when he let out a growl of frustration.
"I told you we couldn't be doing this." I didn't take it personally because he had as much say in what we did or didn't do. It wasn't like I forced him. He was a willing participant. Besides, I knew he loved me and this moment would pass.
"Babe… Try to take a deep breath." I slid my shirt on and stepped into my pants, but I could see clearly that he was not going to calm down. He was probably as afraid as I was. The policy was very strict and left no room for interpretation. This could lead to one or both of us being terminated if Hayward decided to snitch.
"Take a deep breath? Lily, if Jack goes to HR, we're screwed! Do you understand what that means? One or both of us is getting fired." Ethan ran his hand through his hair frantically as he looked into the mirror hung by the door. "I'm thirty-six with a well-established practice. If I have to get a different job, it means starting over. I'm not starting over at thirty-six."
I saw the scowl on his face in his reflection and felt guilty. If he had gotten dressed as soon as we were done, we'd both have been sitting and chatting. Neither of us would have been naked, but I asked for those precious few minutes of intimacy. Now it was going to cost us.
"Ethan, I'm sorry." I walked over to him barefoot, feeling the cold tile on my toes. It wasn’t as cold as the anger in his eyes when he turned to face me. I knew his anger was a secondary emotion, that he was feeling fear and anxiety, maybe even a bit of shame. I touched his face softly, and he grabbed my wrist and lowered my hand.
"Lily, this is serious. I don't know if I'll be able to get us out of this if he goes to the board." His eyes were stormy and dark. They scared me.
"It will be okay, Ethan. We'll get through it. We'll have each other. There isn't anything we can't face. We've had problems before and worked through them." He let go of my hand, but I didn't try to touch him again.
"I have to go. I need to get ahead of this." He pecked me on the cheek, and then he was gone and I was left with my mind swirling. He had never acted this way with me before. I knew it was bad, but it wasn't anything we couldn't handle.
I stood there staring at the open door with my toes curled against the cold floor, fighting back the tears. Even without the overly weepy mood I'd been in, this was a tear-worthy situation, but usually, Ethan was here to comfort me and dry those tears. Now I didn't know what to think. He was really upset. What if he was so upset with me that he ended things? What if it was over?