17. Cole
17
COLE
I had our cab drop Rose by the spa with a promise to return in three hours on the dot, then I headed out toward the clinic where I'd see the specialist. My hands were shaking, but not because of the tremors. I clenched them into fists and flexed them, trying to shake away some of the nerves. This wasn't a fatal condition—based on my research—but it would be career ending eventually. I just hoped to stave that off for a while.
I sat in the waiting room for about thirty minutes before they took me back. The nurse was kind enough, checking my vitals and asking simple questions. Every answer I gave made me feel more vulnerable and at risk. There was a voice in the back of my head telling me I was weak for feeling this way, but I couldn't help it. A surgeon with unsteady hands was no surgeon at all.
"Well," Doctor Ballard said as he walked in, "what do we have here?" He narrowed his eyes on my chart and his balding head scrunched up. I wrung my nervous hands together in my lap as he focused on the sheet in front of him. I didn't want to interrupt his concentration, but I was anxious to get this over with. "Dr. Hastings, is it?" He looked up at me and pushed his glasses up to his head, exposing his kind eyes.
"Yes, Cole Hastings. I'm a trauma surgeon out in Denver." I swallowed the knot constricting my throat. "I came here for anonymity." My chest felt tighter than a piano string.
"Yes, we get that a lot," he said, looking back at my chart. "So, you've done no testing yet? EEG, MRI? Nothing?" His eyes flicked back up to me. "Essential tremors seems like a diagnosis you've given yourself. Are you a neurological surgeon?" His skepticism was warranted. I hadn't exactly clarified on the intake form I filled out online that I hadn’t seen anyone about this previously.
"No, sir, that's why I'm here. For your expertise. My self-diagnosis could definitely be wrong. I just wanted to give you a place to start looking." I'd done a substantial amount of reading so I knew what I was looking into, but the ultimate diagnosis would come from him.
"And you don't want this reported to your insurance? You’re all out of pocket?" His skepticism continued, but he had to understand why I was doing it this way. If I could treat it without telling the board, it would be better. There was too much heat on me already.
"Yes, sir. Insurance is required to keep files…" I left the deduction up to his own mind, and he nodded.
"I understand." He eyed me for a moment and said, "You know if we uncover this condition you fear you have and it's progressed, we might not be able to stop or reverse it. And stress will only make it grow exponentially worse. You won't be able to keep this a secret for long."
The pronouncement was something I already knew, but hearing him say it aloud made me feel like punching something. Life got out of control sometimes, but this was something I never expected to happen.
"Of course, I know that. I just want to do what I can now. It will give me time to get a plan together for my future." It didn't mean I wouldn't be able to drive or work, just that I wouldn't be able to operate.
"Well, I'll be happy to treat you once we get some tests. We'll need a serum copper test to rule out Wilson's disease. We need MRI and CT scans to show it's not Parkinson's or MS. We'll do an EMG, DaTscan, thyroid, tox screen, CBC, and a few other physical assessments. If we can induce a tremor and observe it, we'll know better what we're doing. Can you come back next week for the testing?"
I sighed and gripped the edge of the exam table, controlling the anxiety-induced anger I felt. "Uh, no, sir. I have a full schedule. I was hoping we could handle this today. I just need answers." My mind was racing with what-ifs. I needed help immediately, and I couldn't very well prescribe myself the medications needed. Every prescription was tracked.
"Alright, well sit tight. Do you have a few hours? That's what it will take." His eyebrows went up and I nodded. Then he continued as he stood up, "We won't have any conclusive diagnosis today because the results of these tests take time—up to a week. But we can start you on Propranolol to help with tremors, or Gabapentin, though that might make you sleepy."
"Whatever you think will help right away. I have a few important surgeries this week. I don't want to chance a mistake." The truth was every surgery was important, and I didn't want a mistake on any of them, which was why I was here.
"Alright, be patient while I get my staff prepped. It will take the whole team, but we can probably get most of the testing done today for you. At least the important ones." He smiled and shook my hand, which tremored slightly as I reached for him. He watched it and shook it, then nodded. "I'll be right back."
I waited for another thirty minutes while they prepped everything, but miraculously, they got me out of the office in under two and a half hours. The bad part was I'd left Rose waiting for me after her spa treatment for quite some time.
In the cab on the way to pick her up, I apologized profusely by text message, promising her the best dinner ever. And when the cab pulled up outside the spa, she was waiting on me. She climbed into the car and pecked me on the cheek, all smiles.
"How'd it go?" I asked, pushing away my nervousness. She looked beautiful and relaxed. She had a small gift bag in her hand and her nails were freshly manicured.
"Oh, it was so relaxing," she said, leaning into me. I put my arm around her and tried to soak in the positive energy she was exuding. "My God, I never knew how much I needed that massage. It was such a treat. Thank you."
"You're so welcome. I'm really glad you enjoyed it." I smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple, and she put her arms around me and sighed happily.
"What were you up to?" she asked, and I tried not to tense. I hadn't really come up with a good story for what I'd be doing because I was too overwhelmed by the thought that this doctor could give me very bad news. I felt put on the spot, but a quick, deep breath helped me respond without lying too much.
"I just sort of hung out and lost track of time. I'm just glad to be back here with you… Now, what about dinner? Do you think we should go out?" I was already starting to relax a little by putting the day behind me and looking forward to the evening. I hoped Rose was up for some fun so I could really compartmentalize and forget about my stress.
"I was thinking we could eat in. There's something I'm looking forward to." She looked up at me with a cheeky smirk, and I knew what she meant.
I didn't bring her out on this trip on purpose to put the moves on her, but I figured that two adults in a consenting relationship who were sharing a hotel room would inevitably go there. And I especially liked that she was instigating it.
"Oh, you mean like surf the channels in our huge room with the sixty-inch TV?" I winked at her, and she snickered.
"Yes, that's exactly it." The car hit a bump and she jostled against me, and I held her tight.
"Well, I think I should get our food ordered." I reached for my phone, and she suggested a few places she had looked up while waiting for me. We settled on Indian food, and I placed an order for pickup because the retreatant didn’t have delivery. She wanted to be left in the room while I got it, so I humored her, though it would have made more sense just to take her along.
When I got the food and returned to the hotel, I found her dressed in a slinky white teddy, draped across the bed seductively. The curve of her hips up to her ribcage caught my eye first, then her perfect tits, mostly exposed. I set the food down by the door and turned the lock and grinned at her lustfully.
"What's this? I thought we were eating…" I dropped my wallet by the food, toed off my shoes, and unbuttoned the cuffs of my shirt.
"You can eat all you want…" Rose propped herself on one elbow, splaying her other palm on the red comforter. She looked so damn sexy I was swelling instantly.
"All I want? Is this a buffet?" I inched closer, devouring her with my eyes. Her skin was flawless, not a single mark on her warm, creamy complexion. The first time we had sex in my car, I saw barely any part of her. In my kitchen, we were so hasty I didn't take time to admire her, nor had I that night when we were in my room with the lights off.
I felt like I was seeing all of her for the first time, and I was drooling. I wasn't the type of man to be turned on by tits, but hers were perfect—soft, fleshy globes in perfect proportion to her body. And the way her shoulders smoothed down into her collarbone was a huge turn on. I wanted to palm a handful of her ass and squeeze it.
"All you can eat," she said, grinning. Then she rose up to all fours and crawled to the edge of the bed and waited as I approached. Her chest pushed out, but it was the curve of her ass with the G-string riding up it that made my dick go full mast.
I couldn't help myself.
I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her toward me, crashing our lips together. Her mouth was warm, wet, inviting. The way she opened up for me, her tongue swirling around mine, made my cock throb with need. My hands moved of their own accord, up her back and around to cup her breasts. They were heavy in my hands, perfect mouthfuls for me to suck on later.
"Condom’s in the drawer," I managed to say between kisses as I broke away to nibble on her neck. I loved the way she tasted, like strawberries. It made me wonder if she bought body wax or something. I knew the spa had a gift shop.
“God, I wish we didn’t have to. I want you raw,” she moaned, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I pulled back long enough to undo the top two buttons of my shirt and pull it over my head. Her eyes raked over my chest briefly, as if she were drooling over my toned abs.
Then Rose took the opportunity to reach into the nightstand behind her, which left her ass on display for me. The white elastic riding up her ass was hot, separating her cheeks but keeping her holes hidden. I reached out and cupped her left cheek as I unzipped my pants and freed my dick. I stroked myself and admired her curves.
“I know I’ll sound like a perv, but you have a damn fine ass.”
Rose snickered and wiggled her hips as I shoved my pants down. No foreplay, no runaround—she wanted me so bad, I could see the soggy spot in her panties from here. I stroked myself a little harder until she turned around with the condom.
“Here,” she said, her eyes on my dick. She was practically drooling.
“I got it.” I took the condom with one hand and guided her backward on the bed. I wanted her on her stomach, ass in the air, so I could admire that view as I took her, but she pulled me down for a kiss. We toppled down, and I braced myself to prevent my full weight from falling on her. This was better than any drug, the feel of her under me, my hands crushing her tits through the lace.
Rose moaned against my lips as I let go of her breast and slid a finger inside her. She was wetter than I expected, and I couldn’t wait to feel that wetness on my cock. I worked her pussy, fingering her, enjoying the heat as it surrounded me and she clenched. But the fabric in the way scraped on my skin and annoyed me.
“This has to go now… It’s great to look at, but I want to see all of you.” I felt the snap in the crotch of her negligee and tugged. It popped open and exposed her pussy, and she grinned against my lips as I kissed her.
“You just like me naked, don’t you?” she purred, and I couldn’t disagree. She was sexy as hell.
“I like you any way I can have you, but naked is my favorite right now.” Kissing her never felt more right. Any thoughts of my stress or my past—the tremors, my grief, the fear of the future—all vanished when I was here like this with her.
I heard a zipper and opened my eyes to see her undoing the side of her teddy. She pushed the fabric aside and exposed her breast, and I rose up so she could slide it the rest of the way off. Breakaway snaps and zippers were now my favorite parts of her clothing because they let me have easy access to what I really wanted—her.
“I want to taste you,” I told her as I came down on her breast. I sucked it into my mouth and squeezed it at the same time. Her nipple was soft, but it hardened under my swirling tongue, and she hissed and clawed at my shoulder.
“Fuck, Cole,” she grunted and arched into me.
I cupped her ass and squeezed, then moved to her other breast. I traveled down her stomach, leaving a trail of soft kisses in my wake. The scent of her arousal was heavy in the air now, and my cock throbbed with need as I eyed her wet mound.
“I want you so bad, Rose,” I said, and she moaned.
“I can tell,” she said, and she snickered. Her hair was a mess, face flushed from arousal. She was beautiful.
I rested my hand on her thigh, using one thumb to softly touch her clit. She spread her legs, opening herself to me, and I ran my thumb down her slit, parting her lips.
“May I?” I asked, and my eyes traced up over her sexy body to her face.
Rose nodded, biting a lip, and I lowered my mouth to her sensitive folds.
“Oh, God, Cole,” she moaned as I flicked my tongue over her clit. Her taste was intoxicating, and I couldn’t get enough. One hand on her thigh, I used the other to slip a finger inside her wetness. She was so warm, so inviting, like she was made for me. I enjoyed the way her wetness coated my finger as I added a second finger and she clenched.
“You’re so tight,” I said, and she moaned louder. I rubbed her and thrust into her. My wrist bent at an odd angle, but it brought gasps and moans from her lips as they hung agape and her eyes rolled back.
“More,” she grunted. “Cole, more.”
I obliged her, sliding my tongue across her clit faster, and pushed my fingers deeper. She arched up in response, rocking her pelvis against my movements. I could get used to this—to her.
“Cole,” she whimpered, and I knew she was enjoying every second of it. So I kept doing what I was doing and I reached down to stroke myself while I did so.
“Oh, fuck,” she moaned, and her walls constricted around my fingers. The muscles in her thighs clenched as she came apart in my mouth. I lapped up every bit of her juices, sucking her clit until she pushed me away. Even then, I was eager to stay there with my face buried between her thighs. She tasted too good, and knowing I was making her feel ecstasy made me want to do it more.
“Oh, God… just come fuck me,” she begged, and I chuckled.
Using the back of my hand to wipe across my face, I crawled up over her and positioned my dick at her entrance. “Can I just feel you for a second?” I asked, and she looked into my eyes with such trust and nodded.
Rose drew her knees up and spread them, letting me nestle down into her valley. I slid into her so slowly it made both of us grunt in pleasure. She was hot and wet, gripping me and letting me come home all at the same time.
“Feels so good,” she whimpered, and I agreed.
“God, Rose, you’re so incredible.” I kissed her forehead and glided in and out of her gently, but I knew if I stayed here long, I wouldn’t want to stop. My lips covered hers, and I kissed her hard. She clawed at my sides as I pushed into her as deep as I could, but I had to pace myself so I wouldn’t blow.
Her nails raked my back as she arched her hips, meeting my every thrust. “Cole…” she moaned into the kiss, and I knew she was close again. My hand found her clit, and I rubbed it in time with our thrusts.
“That’s it, baby,” I encouraged her. “Come for me.”
She let out a high-pitched moan, and her body clenched around me as she came. Her pussy milked my cock, and her juices coated my thighs. She shuddered and jolted, and I loved the way her skin felt slicking against mine. I didn’t want anything to do with that damn condom. So when she calmed, I slowed almost to a stop. It was agonizing, but she was giddy.
“Have you ever done anal?” I asked, and her eyes looked up at me lazily. She blinked a few times and shook her head, biting her lip, and I asked, “Can I try?”
Rose swallowed hard, but she nodded and I grinned at her. “Fuck, you’re so hot. You really want me to?”
“Does it hurt?” she asked, and I shrugged one shoulder. I knew if not done right it could hurt, but God, I wanted her so badly.
“I can make it feel so good you’ll come again.” Just her agreeing to it put me on the edge again, and I had to stop and pull out or I’d blow.
“Alright,” she said, but she sounded hesitant.
She turned over and got to her knees, and I positioned myself behind her. Rose reached back and spread herself, and I rubbed her juices all over, smearing them on my cock, spreading them to her hole. When I put one finger in, she hissed and moaned. The second one drew a yelp of pain so I eased up, going slower. I didn’t even have to worry about keeping myself hard. I was so turned on by her letting me do this, I thought I’d blow without being in her.
When her moisture started to dry up, I spat on her ass and smeared it around, then pressed both of my thumbs into her tight hole and stretched her.
“Oh, fuck,” she grunted, and she put her head down. “Oh, shit… oh, God, it’s… wow…”
I grinned at the way I was making her feel and slid my dick into her pussy for good measure. I knew doing this dry would hurt, and I wanted her to come so hard it milked me for every drop of cum I had.
“You ready?” I asked, and she panted and clawed at the bed. I knew she wanted to come again.
“Fuck… do it,” she hissed.
I slid out of her pussy and lined up with her tight little ass. Slowly, I pressed into her, and she screamed. Her fingernails dug into the mattress, and she clenched around me.
“Cole, fuck…” she cried out, and I knew it hurt, but I kept going. Her body was so tight, so hot, and it squeezed my cock like nothing else ever had.
“Relax, Rose,” I said, and she did as best as she could. “Good girl,” I praised her as she took more of me inside her ass.
“Oh, fuck,” she whimpered again, and I reached around to rub her clit as I continued to penetrate her.
“You feel so good, Rose. So tight.” I leaned over and bit her neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. Her walls squeezed around me in response, and it finally felt like she was starting to like it.
I picked up speed, and her moans turned from pain to pleasure. I reached around again and found her clit. She was so close again that it only took a few swipes of my finger to send her over the edge. Her walls constricted around me, milking me as she came, and I couldn’t help but lose it too.
I growled out my release as I came deep inside her ass, every drop of my seed spilling inside her. My dick pulsed, and her body contracted around me. I stayed there as her hips jerked and her ass twitched, and when I pulled out, she gasped.
The food was cold. The room smelled like sex. I was sweating, but it felt incredible. Rose was the best drug. I hadn’t felt so relaxed in weeks. Now if the rest of our trip went as well as this, I’d feel like a brand-new man going home.