CHAPTER 18
C HAPTER 18
R AIDER FROWNED as he watched Seth in the training yard. Something was wrong. Nasrin, sparring with Seth in one of the chalked circles, didn’t seem to have noticed. The female warrior looked like she was having a great time, and who could blame her? She was damned good and probably didn’t often get to spar with someone of Seth’s caliber.
Nasrin’s wristwork was incredible, expertly deflecting blows and adapting her strikes on the fly. She grinned as she danced away from Seth, gold rings flashing below her knees and along her arms.
In a real fight, a fair fight, Seth would surely win. Nasrin might beat Raider (if he didn’t use his quicksilver), but Seth was so damn strong, with the skill to match, and quick for his size.
This, however, was just sparring, and Seth was tightly controlled. Too tightly controlled.
There was a sharpness to his movements, like he kept cutting them off. And, as Raider’s arcane eye enabled him to perceive, Seth’s face was still, even stern. He wasn’t enjoying himself.
Raider was about to leave his perch on the parapet and go down there when movement caught his eye. He blinked away the arcane zoom and refocused on the approaching figure. His heart skipped.
Between the low, crenelated walls of the parapet, Empress Zarina, unattended, was walking his way. Her gown’s heavy brocade, crusted with jewels and gold, barely shifted as she walked. She must be dying of the heat in that gown, but she did look magnificent. In place of a headdress, her dark hair, ornately braided and studded with pearls, crowned her head. More pearls gleamed at her ears and throat. Gold flashed at her wrists and on her sandals as they peeked out from the hem of her gown.
She had her father’s hawkish nose and dimpled chin. But she had her own poise. She always had, even at twenty-two. And now, ten years an empress, she had not only poise but grandeur.
“How did you get up here?” she asked, sounding more amused than annoyed.
“Probably not the same way you did, Your Immanence.”
“I took the stairs through the watchtower.”
“I did not take the stairs, Empress.”
Her lips tugged then she said, “Let us speak as friends. As we used to.”
They had been friends, in their way. Once, when Zarina had found Raider sitting in the sun tower, the highest peak of the palace, looking out across the Gold, she had said, Don’t fly away, pretty bird . He’d laughed and replied, But wouldn’t you like me to? And she had answered, Not at all. He hasn’t been this happy since my mother died—and at least you are not a woman, with a womb to threaten me with.
Raider had understood then why Zarina tolerated the street rat in her father’s bed. He had understood why she felt free to be friends with him.
They had ridden horses together, had danced and played music. Once, with Zarina disguised as a fisherwoman, Raider had shown her parts of Kastari that an empress’s daughter would never have otherwise seen. Gods, how they’d laughed.
But they couldn’t be friends now. Not after Raider had killed her father.
He didn’t say that. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t move from his crouched position between two square teeth of the crenellation.
Zarina came to stand beside him and gazed down into the training yard. Her fingers rested on the wall.
She said, “You never looked at my father like you look at Seth.”
Raider swallowed hard. “I did … love him though.”
“I think you believed that. But I think you were too young and too anxious of him. I didn’t see it at the time, but … I’m older now. It looks different to me now than it did then.”
“I wasn’t anxious of him. He was a good man.”
“Certainly better than his twin brother.” Zarina looked at Raider. “But you were always waiting for him to tire of you and throw you out, and I think you were torn between hoping that he wouldn’t—and hoping that he would. You were a caged bird here.”
Raider said nothing.
Zarina gazed down into the training yard again. Her expression softened, becoming that of a woman instead of an empress. She rocked forward as though drawn, her belly bumping against the parapet wall.
Something eased in Raider as he watched her watching Nasrin. He said, “You love her.”
Zarina hissed in a breath. Fear flitted through her eyes. “I’m too unguarded with you. I always was.”
“You’re afraid. Why?”
“Oh, Shashem, you have no idea how dangerous it is to sit on the Golden Throne.”
“How can you say that? To me?”
“You were a single chess piece in a long and complicated game. Do you think Kahzir was alone? No would-be usurper ever is. Do you think no one wishes to see me removed? And now, as I’ve had no choice but to take action against my uncle, every man who cannot bear the thought of a woman ruling the Gold will come crawling out of the shadows. Such men are still in this court. I’ve found a few, but I know there are more.”
“Did you know, all along, where Kahzir was?”
“No, and I didn’t go looking. I was content to let a sleeping tiger remain asleep.” Her nostrils flared. “Prince Rahim has made that impossible.”
“Ah. Did he not return to Aqarat?”
“He did. With a contingent of the Hand to help with the very large corpse you left outside his gates.”
Raider couldn’t help but smile. “I would imagine it’s getting a bit ripe by now.”
Zarina’s dark eyes danced with amusement. “I would imagine so.”
“But you think Rahim would move against you?”
“I think he would join others against me, yes.”
Raider felt bad for her. Maybe he shouldn’t, given the circumstances, but he would never want to be trapped in her position. It weighed him down even to imagine it.
He wished, just for a moment, that he could toss a fisherwoman’s gown over her head and hear her laugh as she had that day.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
She didn’t ask what for? She didn’t say anything at all for a while. Then, “I always knew who was truly responsible for my father’s death, but I did feel betrayed by you for a long time. There were moments I hated you, though less because you killed my father and more because I had thought you my friend.”
“So you knew, even then, that it was me.”
“I saw you fleeing. You’d been missing for two years, but I recognized you at once. I shouted your name, but I don’t think you heard me. I didn’t know until later that my father was dead. But now … I’m the one who must be sorry. For my own anger toward you, which you never deserved. For what my family did to you.”
Raider’s throat tightened. “And yet you blackmail me and Seth into a dangerous hunt for a very dangerous object.”
The softness vanished from her eyes, replaced by steel. She said, “I must.”
“You would follow through with your threats?”
“Yes. And, yes, I am aware that that makes me like my uncle. You don’t need to tell me.” She turned to leave.
“You’re nothing like your uncle, Zarina. I understand. Why you’re doing this.”
She looked over her shoulder at him. There was a question in her eyes, or maybe fear. But she said nothing, only left.
***
Raider waited for Seth outside the Blue Gate. When Seth and Nasrin had left the training yard, Raider had slipped away from the palace grounds and circled around to the gate so he could meet Seth like he always did.
This was the first time, though, that he felt anxious about Seth’s arrival. Seth had been upset about something.
Raider distracted himself by studying the gate’s towering walls. From a distance, the blue looked like a single color. Up close, the fired bricks revealed a thousand shades of lapis blue. Dozens of golden animals marched across them, their bodies in shallow relief.
As a child, his favorite had always been the peacock. Here, the showy bird was depicted with its long tail fanning high.
A memory came back to him, one so old he’d forgotten it. Or maybe it was just too painful to recall any of the good moments with his mother.
He had pointed to the peacock as they passed by this gate. He must have been very young because he recalled pointing up. The animals had all been well above his head. He’d asked his mother what that bird was. He recalled her smiling down at him. He recalled that she had ruffled his hair like his question pleased her.
Then she had taken his hand and they had walked on and she’d told him that the peacock, for its great beauty, was beloved by the djinn.
Raider couldn’t remember all the details, but he knew she’d told him how the beautiful, elemental djinn lived deep in the desert, hidden from human sight.
The memory soured as it slotted together with another one. It must have been that moment with his mother that had sparked his interest in the djinn. That must have been why he’d been playing in the courtyard of his stepfather’s house, building a miniature djinn city in the dirt. He recalled the sandaled foot that had kicked the mounds aside, that had smashed the little figures made of twigs and fig leaves. He recalled lying amid the ruins of the little city with his ear ringing and the sky spinning.
As the gates opened, Raider banished the memory from his thoughts and tried to ignore the chill it left in him. He had something much better to focus on as Seth came into view.
Seth looked every inch the Curator that Raider had first met in Shalaa. His physical power and the burning intensity of his green eyes still stirred Raider in every possible way, but there was a thread of anxiety worming through it all.
Usually, Seth smiled when he saw Raider waiting for him, like he was surprised and delighted every single time. Today, he stopped dead. He stood still and tightly controlled, as he’d been in the training yard. Raider’s heart skipped.
Fuck. It was something to do with him. He shivered as the chill lingering from that old memory redoubled.
Then Seth’s eyes softened and his body relaxed. He walked toward Raider. Raider’s heart didn’t stop pounding, though, not even when Seth lifted his hands to Raider’s face and cupped his jaw. His thumbs stroked Raider’s cheekbones as he looked into Raider’s eyes like he was hunting for something. Then Seth grabbed him into a hug and squeezed so damn tight that it drove the breath from Raider’s lungs. Raider clung to him in return.
Seth relaxed his grip but didn’t let go. “You’re shivering. What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
Raider told him part of the truth. “I can tell something happened. I can tell you’re upset. With me.”
“No, baby.” Seth drew back a little. Tugging Raider against his side, he set into a walk, heading in the direction of the Pink Lotus Inn. “I’m not upset with you.”
“Then what happened? I saw you in the training yard with Nasrin. I could tell something was wrong.”
Seth halted and sent him a narrow-eyed look. “You weren’t supposed to be on palace grounds.”
“I wasn’t banned, you know.”
“That’s not the point. It’s not good for you, being there. Is that why you were shivering? Are you okay?”
Raider pulled out of Seth’s hooked arm. “Stop making this about me. What happened to you ? You’re upset about something.”
Seth’s jaw tightened. Then he said, “It was just a frustrating day, that’s all, and I’m very ready to get out of Kastari.”
Seth was lying. Raider was sure of it. Which meant that whatever had upset Seth did have something to do with him after all.