Chapter 13
Thirteen
“ I s it okay if I try to nurse her?” Lily looked at him for permission. Her eyes betrayed just how exhausted she was, but hell, somehow she pushed through for their daughter.
Their daughter. The sweet little thing had come out full of sass, wanting to be heard. And heard she was. Her little cries were the most beautiful sound in the world.
The doctor had immediately put the baby on Lily’s chest, and he got lost in the sea of her dark eyes. When a nurse asked him if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord, he froze. But Lily smiled and told him it was alright. She said he should get to do it as her dad.
So he did, and he didn’t hide the tears that followed as a nurse placed her into his arms. That baby was all Lily, and he would do anything for his girls.
They moved Lily to her recovery room, Gunner following behind her wheelchair with their daughter safely tucked against his chest. He’d never been more scared of walking. They’d just been sitting in bed together, their own little dazed family, since .
“Of course it is. Do you want me to move?” he asked as he stood from the bed.
“No, please don’t go. I just need the pillow that’s over on the chair to put her on. Can you grab it for me?”
Gunner was up, reaching for the pillow before she even finished the sentence. Lily moved their daughter onto the squishy surface, releasing her hospital gown on one side to expose her breast. Gunner’s eyes shot to the ceiling, counting the tiles and trying desperately to think of anything other than Lily’s chest. She’d just given birth, for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t explain why she was more attractive to him than she’d ever been before.
“I think I’ve got her latched the right way.” Lily’s face scrunched up tightly. The doctor explained how nursing could be uncomfortable as both Lily and the baby figured out how to work together. She was doing brilliantly, though, and Gunner felt a rush of pride flood his chest.
“Will you come back and sit with us?” Her whispered question pulled him out of his daze.
“There’s no place I’d rather be.”
“Do you want me to cover up?”
“No. I would never want to drape a blanket over my head while I was eating. If you’re comfortable nursing her just like this, I’m fine with it, too.”
“God,” she wiped a tear from her eye.
“What? What’s wrong? Are you in pain? The nurse said the after birth contractions might be more painful with breastfeeding. Do you want me to ask them for more pain medication?”
“No,” she blew out a sharp breath. “This whole night has been like a fever dream, and you’re just being so incredibly sweet to me. I can’t take it, Gunner.”
“You need to get used to it sometime, Lily Kate. I swore before God and my mother that I would take care of you, and I plan on keeping that promise.”
Lily sighed and looked down at the baby in her arms.
“How is she so perfect? She’s so tiny and I just love her so much, Gunner. How can I be in charge of keeping something so precious safe from every danger in this world?”
“You’re already doing amazing, Lil. And it’s not just you. She’s got me, and her Aunt Gia, and all the guys on my team are going to be wrapped around her finger in no time. She’s going to have a great life.”
A sniffle filled the room and Gunner’s eyes shot up to Lily’s, where he saw tears shimmering along her lash line.
“What is it?”
“Ignore me. It’s just the hormones.”
“It’s not Lily. Weren’t you the one who told me it’s not good to hold in our emotions?”
“What do I know?”
“Stop. Tell me why you’re crying.”
“Because you’ve already given her more love and support than I could have ever hoped for. You’re giving us so much, Gunner. I don’t understand why, and maybe I never will, but I just want to say thank you.”
“You don’t owe me?—”
“Yes. The least I can do is say thank you. I know our arrangement is weird. I know it’s not a real marriage, but I will work every day to make sure you know how thankful I am that you stepped in to help us.”
Lily must have fallen asleep, because as she peeled her eyes open, the sun was streaming in strongly through her hospital room window. It really was the most beautiful day, and she had a feeling the way the breeze danced through the trees on the day her daughter was born was a sign of how beautiful her life was going to be.
Her eyes shifted to the muscular figure bouncing back and forth rhythmically in the corner of the room.
“How long did I sleep?” she cringed as she pulled her sore body up into a sitting position.
“Not long enough. Only about two hours. If you’re still tired, you should go back to sleep. I’ve got things covered with Sprout.”
He turned and she could see the sweet bundle wrapped in his arms. “Have you been holding her this whole time?”
“Almost,” he laughed. “Cute little thing pooped all over me when I changed her diaper earlier. Had to set her down in her bassinet for a minute while I cleaned up. But those new baby sounds are so sweet, Lil. I’ve just been enjoying them while you sleep.”
Lily was sure her jaw was on the floor. Did grumpy Gunner just talk about changing diapers and newborn baby sounds?
“So, do you have a name picked out, or are we just going with Sprout?” Gunner asked.
“I think Sprout is still the perfect nickname for her, but I decided a while back on her name.” Her stomach fluttered with nerves. “Sage Juliette Brooks.”
Gunner stopped swaying. “You’re naming her after my mom?”
“I hope that’s okay. I told Jules my plans before she passed, and she seemed really excited to know the baby would carry on her name.” Gunner just stared at her, so she continued trying to explain. “And I hope it’s okay that I want to give her your last name. I know we never really talked about it, but since we’re married now, even if it’s a fake marriage, I don’t want her last name to be different from mine, and I really don’t want to name James on her birth certificate. I checked with the state requirements and a woman’s husband can go on the birth certificate as the father, even if he isn’t biologically related to the child.” Her heart thumped heavily. “I just want you to know that when we go our own way some day, I won’t ask you for anything except to keep loving Sage.”
She watched as his eyes bounced between her daughter, held so lovingly in his arms, and her.
“Lily, I’m beyond honored. Of course, I want both of my girls to have my last name.” He walked to Lily’s bed and kissed her forehead before doing the same thing to her daughter. “Welcome to the world, Sage. I can’t wait to walk through life as your dad.” And then he whispered words that shattered Lily’s heart and stitched it back together all in one moment. “I love you so much already.”
“Gunner,” Lily choked out.
“Shh, Lil. It’s all going to be perfectly fine.” His hand landed on her shoulder. “You really did amazing.”
A sharp knock came from her door and Gia’s voice softly filled the room.
“Congratulations, guys! Oh Lily, you look absolutely radiant. You’re a mom!” Tears sparkled in her best friend’s eyes as she bent over to give Lily a hug. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired. But just look at her, Gia. She’s so beautiful.”
Gia moved around the bed to get a better look at Sage, and Lily smiled as she watched the muscles in Gunner’s arms tighten his hold on her. Gia was going to have a fight on her hands to hold the baby.
“Wash your hands before you get too close, G.”
“Right.” She looked around the room for a minute before spotting the sink off to the side. “Once my hands are clean, you’re handing her over to me, Gunner.”
“You’re more than welcome to look at her, but I don’t want to wake her up by passing her around.”
Gia looked at Lily, eyebrows raised into her hairline .
“I think he’s really fallen in love with her,” Lily admitted.
“How could you not?” he said. “She’s perfect.”
Lily yawned, feeling like her heart could explode from happiness.
“Oh shit, Lily. Did I come when you were meant to be sleeping? Do you want me to go?” Gia asked, looking worried.
“No. I’m glad you’re here. I’m just going to close my eyes for a few minutes while you and Gunner fight about holding her, okay?”
Gia laughed.
“Will you stay here with us while I sleep? I mean, will you stay even after Gia’s done visiting?” she asked Gunner as she tried to lie back against her pillows. “I don’t want her to go to the nursery. I know it’s silly to think anything will happen, but I’m scared.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Lil. I’ve got you, and I’ve got her. So just rest.” Gunner pressed a kiss to her forehead, and Lily heard Gia sniffle as she closed her eyes. “She’s already a daddy’s girl, I can tell. Got me wrapped right around her perfect little fingers. I’ll never let anything happen to our daughter, Lily. Never.”
His whispered promise was the last thing she heard before she fell to sleep.