Chapter 27
Twenty-Seven
F uck, that hurt.
As the dust cleared from the air around him, Gunner realized what had happened. A bomb went off . And that meant the fuckers had known exactly where the team was and what they were doing. It was a trap.
Reaching towards his back, a groan escaped from his mouth. If anyone from the Santoro organization or that fucking MC was in the trees surrounding them, there would be a bloodbath coming. Gunner pulled out his gun and rolled onto his belly, searching the treeline for potential enemies.
“Holy shit! Are you guys okay?” His team was there. Gunner breathed out a sigh of relief.
“Get down. Those fuckers are probably close by!” he yelled. Or at least he hoped he was yelling. His ears were still fucking ringing.
“Heat signatures say we’re alone right now, buddy. How’s your head?” Gage knelt down in the dirt and looked him over.
“I’m fine. You see Stone? I didn’t get a chance to see where he got knocked to.”
Gunner watched his buddy’s head turn on a swivel. “Yeah, man. Looks like he got thrown a bit farther than you. You gotta lay off all the snacks. That dad-bod snacking routine you’ve been indulging in is making you heavy.”
“Shut the hell up. I flew far enough.” Gunner grunted as he tried to sit up. “Fuck, that hurts.”
“Look, Hawk’s got Stone. Max is calling it in, so the paramedics will be here to check you both out soon. The only place you’re bleeding from that I can see is a little bitty cut on your forehead, so try to tough it out until they come, okay?”
That explained the wet feeling on his face.
“I’ll try not to bitch too much, but next time I volunteer to go out into the field instead of staying in the van, I expect you to punch me in the face and remind me of this moment.”
“Oh yeah, I definitely can do that. It serves you right, almost getting blown up, for how much hell you gave me to go out on this assignment.”
“Yeah. Listen, let’s just leave the almost getting blown up part out of conversations when we get back to Silver Springs. Things are strained enough with Lily as it is. I can’t imagine this would be good for us.”
Gage laughed. “God, I miss having arguments with Mel. But take it from one guy who had a successful marriage. You definitely need to tell her you almost got blown up today.”
“We’ll see.” Gage held his hand out for Gunner to grab, and after finding his footing, the two men walked over to check on Stone.
“Fuck.” Stone hissed as Hawk pressed down on his leg.
“Jesus, are you actually hurt?” Gunner asked.
“Cut my leg. Fucking jagged ass rock got me when I crashed back down.”
“Stone got hurt by a…stone?”
“Oh, fuck off with your jokes, Gage. I’d expect it from Hawk, but that was just fucking pathetic. ”
“I actually thought it was funny.” Gunner slapped his hand on Gage’s back.
“That’s because you two are dads. Terrible jokes are right in your wheelhouse.”
“Stop moving around or I’m tightening that tourniquet,” Hawk threatened.
“How bad were you cut?”
“Bad enough that this jerk triaged me like we were back in Iraq.”
“Oh, my bad. You want to bleed out after getting blown in the wind like a tumbleweed?”
“Yeah, why can’t you?—”
“Fuck, can we focus, please? The Santoros or that fucking MC clearly knew we would be here tonight, which means Max needs to figure out where the hell the break is in their closed line of communication.”
“Unless they’re following us.”
The team exchanged nervous looks.
“Fuck. Gage?”
“I’ll run a program through our system. Make sure one of us hasn’t been compromised.”
“Good. Maybe for the time being we switch to burners. Ask Mae and Lily to swap to burners, too? It’s not a long stretch to think if they’re going to this length to get to us, they won’t do something to either of them, too.”
Hawk stood and pulled his phone out. “Tracker, take over putting pressure on Doc’s wound. I’ll call Mae and give her a heads up. And maybe she can message Lily. I don’t want to wake her if she isn’t up with the baby.”
“So much for not having her worry about me almost getting blown up,” Gunner grumbled under his breath.
Sirens grew louder in the distance as Gunner watched Hawk walk away from the group. Nothing was making sense to him .
Fuck, his head and side hurt and he just wanted to make the hour drive home right then. A warm shower, some leftovers from the chicken and vegetables Lily had made that night for dinner, and maybe he’d catch her awake at one of Sage’s late night nursing sessions. Gunner would get to kiss Sage and rock her back to sleep. That was just what he needed after the night had turned to shit.
“Reaper!” Hawk’s panicked voice pulled him back into the moment, and the beautiful picture of his girls waiting for him at home disappeared.
“What the fuck is it?” His pulse throbbed in his temples.
“You need to listen to this message, man.”
“Why? What happened?” Gunner caught the phone as Hawk tossed it to him.
“Something’s going on with Lily and Sage.”
Fuck! What the hell had happened? Were they attacked in the apartment? Were they injured?
Listening to the messages, his blood ran cold.
“I need to take the surveillance van, and whoever isn’t going to stay with Stone needs to come with me now because I’m going back to Silver Springs and you’ll have to wait until I get there and can send the van back for you if you don’t.”
“What’s going on?” Stone asked.
“Mae left a message for Hawk saying Sage has a fever. Lily had Mae bring them over to the hospital in Bell Ridge to see what was going on.”
“Shit.”
He punched in Lily’s number again. The line rang until her voicemail picked up.
“And now she’s not answering my call. I want to get a move on, so figure your shit out and then let’s go.”
“I’ll stay with Stone. Just let me know when you have an update, and we’ll take a ride share back if we need to,” Hawk offered.
“Thanks man. I’ll let you know.” Gunner tossed back his phone, then turned to Gage and Nash. “Let’s go.”
The three men ran back to the van. On the way there, Gunner pulled his cell from his pocket, cursing at the cracked screen that stayed dark as he tried to turn it on. His fucking side burned with each breath he took, but he pushed the pain to the back of his mind.
“I need one of you to get a hold of Mae or Lily. My fucking phone is broken and I need to know what’s going on.”
“Guys, what the fuck just happened?” Max’s hardened expression met Gunner as he threw open the driver’s side door.
“We’ll have to fill you in on the way back,” Gage said as he opened the side door to the van.
“I need you to fill me in now. What the hell exploded? I thought you said nothing suspicious was going on over there? I’ve got a forensic team coming here but?—”
“Get the fuck out of the van, Max!” Gunner yelled. “My daughter is in the hospital and you are stopping me from getting to her. Hawk and Stone are still up at the scene and you and your FBI buddies can fuck around with my now burnt to hell truck all you want, but I’m pulling out of here in exactly three seconds and I don’t care if I drag your ass outside the van all the way there with us or not.”
He nodded, wide eyed. “Let me know how she is when you get there.” Max jumped onto the road and started running back to where the guys had left Stone and Hawk.
“Fuck. I hope the forensics team finds something,” Gage mumbled.
“I don’t give two shits about that right now. Keep trying to get through to Lily.”
“I’m sure they’re just busy with the doctors and getting Sage settled if she’s had to be admitted.” Nash looked over as he took the front seat while Gunner slid behind the driver’s wheel. “I’ll try to get through to Mae while you drive. Kids get sick all the time. It’s probably nothing to worry about.”
“Tell that to my fucking heart. It feels like it’s about to beat out of my damn chest.”
“Should I drive?” Gage asked, and Gunner scowled through the rear-view mirror at his buddy.
“You need to work on finding out where the info leak is, and if it’s on our side, Gage, I’m not the only one who is going to be pissed.”
“Yeah. Trust me, Gunner. They’d have to have some pretty powerful hackers behind them to get over the security I’ve put in place.”
“Or someone from the FBI is compromised,” Nash added.
“Fuck.”
“How is everything going in here?” Lily heard Mae ask as she walked back into the small room they’d gotten Sage settled into at the hospital in Bell Ridge. “Oh goodness, look at that little angel fast asleep. They never know how much panic they cause us, do they?”
Sage had screamed so much when the nurse came in to take a sample of her blood that Lily thought her heart was going to shatter into a million pieces. But all that crying had clearly made her tired, and Sage had been out like a light not even a few minutes later. The doctor had assured her, probably for the fiftieth time, that Sage’s temperature was coming down and they’d work on getting some answers for her.
“I grabbed you a coffee from the cafeteria and a chocolate cookie.”
“Thank you, Mae. For everything.” Lily took the coffee and cookie from her friend and slumped down in the chair near Sage. “I’m going to kill Gunner when he gets here. ”
“I wasn’t allowed to know the specifics of what they’re working on tonight, but I know it must be something really important if Gunner would be out of reach. For all of them to be out of reach.”
“He promised me. He promised he’d always be here when we needed him. I know I’m being ridiculous, but I’m looking at my baby lying in a hospital bed and he’s nowhere to be found. I don’t think I’m cut out for this life with him. I can’t do this.” The tears nearly choked her as she looked down at Sage, laying so helpless in the hospital bassinet.
“Tonight has been so stressful, Lily. Don’t push Gunner away because of his job. There are things we can do in the future to make sure you can always reach him, but please don’t push that man away. I can see how much you and Sage mean to him. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never once seen him smile. Until that day he came into Silver Springs carrying Sage and holding onto your hand. It will kill him when he finds out how deeply he’s hurt you tonight.”
“So I just have to suffer and hold it in, for his benefit? I’ve spent too much time holding in pain that the men in my life bring to me. How is that fair, Mae?”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all, Lily. You don’t deserve to be hurt like that. All I’m saying is give it to Gunner good. Make him work for your forgiveness. But do forgive him. You’re both so good for each other.”
“Lily?” Gunner’s voice boomed down the hallway before she could respond and she hated how she immediately felt relief flood her body.
“I’ll go flag him down before he turns the whole hospital upside down getting in here,” Mae smiled and Lily forced herself to remain standing with her back to the door.
“Over here, big guy,” Mae’s voice filtered back into the room. “Fuck, Gunner, is the team okay?”
“Call your brother.” When Mae gasped, Lily had to fight the urge to turn around and comfort her friend. “He’s not hurt. But he needs to talk to you.”
His boots stomped across the floor. She swallowed hard as he walked into the room, trying not to fall apart. As soon as he was close, he placed his hand on the small of her back, but her eyes never left her baby. She didn’t let herself look at him until she saw him lean down and run his hand gently over Sage’s head.
And all of a sudden, it was too much. The concern and love in his eyes broke her, and no matter how hard she bit the inside of her cheek, she couldn’t stop the shaking sobs from taking over.
“Shh, Lily. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”
He pulled her into his chest and she finally let all the worry pour out of her. Lily’s fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt, her fists holding on for dear life.
“I was s-so worried when you didn’t answer my c-calls.” The smell of earth and char hit her as soon as she buried her face in his shirt. Pulling away, she saw the soot and blood that covered his face. “Oh my god, Gunner! Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. There was a hitch, but the team’s okay. We’re going to need to go look at new vehicles sometime this week, when Sage is doing better.”
“You got in an accident? Are you okay?”
“More or less.”
“I can’t deal with this, too,” she sniffled, stepping back from him. She needed the space, the cold air from the hospital swirling between them to remind herself that Gunner was just playing a part here. He might have a soft spot for Sage, but he was just pretending to be her husband to keep her safe. The sudden pain from that sobering thought nearly knocked her over.
“Lil?” he reached out to steady her, but she flinched away.
“I’m fine. Please don’t touch me.”
The questioning look from him burned into her skin. “And Sprout?” He swept his hand over her sleeping daughter’s hair.
“She’s going to be okay. The doctor thinks it’s just a virus that needs to run its course, but they took a little vial of her blood to do some more tests on, just to make sure it isn’t something more serious. I lost it when her temperature kept climbing and she wouldn’t nurse.”
“You did the right thing. Bringing her here was the best decision.” His hand never left Sage, but his eyes swept over her. “Why can’t I touch you?”
“I don’t want to get used to taking comfort from you. That’s all I’ve been doing since Sage was born, and that’s not part of our agreement. You’re keeping us safe. Helping me get back on my feet. That’s all. And I need you to not touch me so I can keep all the feelings churning inside me at bay.”
“What the fuck, Lily?”
“Little ears, Gunner!” she gasped.
“I’m not sorry for being so blunt.” He ran his hand down her arm until he laced his fingers with hers. “That speech was complete bullshit and you know it. I am sorry that I wasn’t there with you when you needed me tonight, but you can count on me. I’m your husband. It’s my duty, and a privilege, to get to provide you with comfort, support, whatever the fuck you need.”
“Your duty,” she whispered, once again biting the inside of her cheek to stop the tears from coming.
“Stop, Lil. Stop trying to find a reason to push me away. I won’t let it happen.”
“I’m not pushing you away, Gunner. I’m telling you what I need. And what I need is for you to stop pretending this is anything other than what it is. You married me to keep us safe. And I’m so thankful for that. But you did not marry me for love. I will not get my heart broken hoping for more. Hoping that one day we will actually be a real family. Hoping that one day we will have the type of relationship that real husbands and wives have.”
Before Gunner could reply, Sage fussed. His hand was still gently running up and down her belly, and Lily didn’t want to take that comfort away from her, but she needed to have her daughter in her arms. Reaching into the bassinet, Lily lifted Sage and walked over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. It was cooler by the window, and she shivered.
“Here,” Gunner took the blanket from the bottom of the bed and walked over to them, laying it across her legs before grabbing a pillow and setting it down in her lap. Lily must have given him a questioning look because he smiled before saying, “What? She’s rooting around. I know she’ll probably want to nurse, and you always nurse her on a pillow.”
“Gunner, please, I shouldn’t have called you to come. Go get that cut on your head checked. Or go home. I don’t care which. But please, don’t stay here.”
“I’m not leaving my girls, Lily.”
Sage fussed a little more and Lily adjusted her on the pillow, unclasping her nursing bra as she got ready to feed her.
“Can’t you see this is hurting me?” The tears were now running down her face. She closed her eyes and felt the rough skin of his finger slide across her cheek.
“Open your eyes, beautiful. Please.”
“Why, Gunner?”
“I’ve just been waiting for you, Lil. All this time, I’ve just been waiting.”
“What do you mean?” her voice cracked, fear of having too much hope laced in her words.
“This has always been real to me, sweetheart. We’ve always been in a genuine marriage. I’ve always wanted everything traditional from that. But I was waiting for you to be ready, too. ”
“No…”
“Yes. From the moment I saw you standing in the kitchen at my mom’s house, before I ever saw you were pregnant, I knew it in my heart. You were mine. Being able to keep you safe from James…I tried to make it all about that because I didn’t want you to feel any pressure.” His warm hand landed on her cheek as his thumb wiped away another tear. “I didn’t think I could fall in love, Lil, but you made it so easy. Day by day, moment by moment, my heart belongs to you.”
“What are you saying?”
“I love you, Lily. I love you and Sage so much. I don’t want to lose you because you think this is only an arrangement to keep you safe from him. I want you to be mine. Forever.”
“But when we kissed…”
“I was an idiot. I was afraid to let you see how desperate I was for us to take things to the next level. When you pulled back, I thought you didn’t want anything more. Do you know how much it kills me to say good night to you and watch you walk into that fucking room across the hall from me? How I stay awake at night, tossing and turning, wanting to pick you up from your bed and bring you into mine?”
“It kills me too.”