Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
“ D id you really mean it?” Lily whispered as Gunner set Sage down in her bassinet. They’d been released from the hospital as soon as Sage’s labs all came back clear. After giving them a list of emergency symptoms to look for, they were discharged.
Lily and Gunner had spent the rest of the time in the hospital holding hands. She didn’t want to let go. She didn’t want to sever the connection that was tenuously being held together by his touch and the hope in the words he’d spoken to her.
“Did I mean what?”
“That you were just waiting for me?”
Gunner turned from the bassinet and moved his arms across his chest. “Yes. And I’ll wait for as long as you need me to. I’m not going anywhere, Lil.”
She worried the edge of her shirt, trying to give herself the courage to do exactly what she’d been thinking of doing since the moment he walked back into her life.
“I’m so tired, I feel like I could sleep for a week. Before I go to bed, I need a shower…but it looks like you do, too. ”
“You can go first,” he offered. “I’ll stay in here with Sage until you finish up.”
Lily crossed from her dresser to where Gunner was standing and traced her fingers across the bulging veins in his arms. They’d always been an enormous turn on for her, but now, it was like the feel of them beneath her touch was melting her core into a delicious pool of hot honey.
Giving up his arms with a shiver, she began pulling at the bottom of his tucked in shirt.
“Lil?” Her name came out in a deep growl that fueled the fire burning in her belly.
“Seems an awful waste of water to take our showers separately, doesn’t it? Especially when I need to clean that cut on your forehead and get it bandaged.”
“Yes,” his voice shook as her fingers reached up under his shirt, tracing along his stomach before running along the waistband on his pants. “Lily…”
“Grab the baby monitor and meet me in your shower in five minutes.”
She moved from her room, forcing her feet to walk across the hall. No losing steam now. Once inside his bathroom, she flipped on the light and found her way to the shower.
The water flowed over her arm, and she adjusted the temperature until it was just right. God, when was the last time she shaved her legs? How was she about to stand in front of Gunner, who she’d loved since she was a little girl, and try to be sexy for him? She found herself nearly doubled over, panic squeezing her lungs, robbing her of air as she wheeze-laughed over the absurdity of the night.
Finally standing up straight, she looked in the mirror, trying to remind herself that Gunner was adamant that he loved her soft curves and the way her postpartum body looked. Lily pulled the hair tie out of her hair, letting it fall down over her shoulders .
“Fuck, Lily.” She whipped around, and the heat in Gunner’s hooded eyes as he stood in the doorway made her legs shake. There was no doubt in her mind exactly how he saw her, and for the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time ever, she felt like a prize.
Steam billowed out of the shower, but she would not hurry. No, she was going to have fun savoring every moment. Lily wanted each second to be burned into her memory. Her whole body felt weak with the anticipation of what was about to happen.
Lily grabbed a washcloth from the sink and ran it under the tap before walking towards Gunner.
“Hold this for me, will you?”
He grunted his reply, his eyes never leaving Lily’s face as he took the washcloth from her hands. She wilted under the heat of his gaze, but pushed herself forward, taking the hem of his shirt and pulling it upwards. Good lord, the way the muscles in his neck flexed and moved as he stood there breathing was enough to have heat pooling in her core. Gunner had always been the most handsome man she’d known, but every day her attraction grew as she watched him love on Sage with his whole heart. There was this completely new thread of her attraction to him, and it was the most powerful connection they shared.
She lifted his shirt over his head and her heart slammed against her ribs in horror. Blooming across his side and stomach were light patches of black and blue bruising.
“Oh my god, Gunner,” her lips trembled as traced her finger across the damaged flesh. “You’re really hurt!”
“No, Lil. That’s nothing. I hardly even feel it.”
“What the hell happened tonight?”
His hand reached up and cupped her cheek, pulling her line of sight away from the injury.
“Nothing you need to worry about. I’m fine.”
“Fine. Right. More like stubborn.”
“You love that about me, don’t you, wife? ”
Looking back into his eyes as she ran her fingers down his chest and across his abs before resting them on his hips, she saw the war waging in him. His face was emotionless, but his eyes held a dark fire that she knew was only for her. It made Lily’s stomach clench.
“Sure you’re up for this? Maybe I should clean that cut up and then just tuck you into bed.”
“Oh, I plan on taking you to bed. Just not until after I get that shower you promised me.”
Lily smiled, running her hands through Gunner’s hair until she grasped the pieces in the back, pulling his face towards hers. She peppered kisses along his jaw until he took control, slamming his lips onto hers in a searing kiss. It was dominating and possessive. It was delicious and made her feel dizzy. Lily’s fingertips and toes buzzed with anticipation.
“I need the washcloth back, Gunner,” she whispered breathlessly as she pulled away. “That cut is probably going to scar.”
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to have you touch me without being able to touch you myself, Lil.” The grit in his voice made her skin pebble and her face flush. His fingers found their way to her hips, where the pressure of his grip made her want to fall into his lap.
“Who said you couldn’t touch me?” Her hands found their way to the tie on her bathrobe, and with shaking fingers, she slowly tugged until the bow came undone and the silk slipped over the curves of her body. Lily took Gunner’s hand and led him to sit on the edge of the bathtub.
“Need you, Lil.” Gunner’s teeth clenched so tightly that his jaw looked like stone. His hand shook as it reached out to her, and the second he touched the skin just under her breast, it felt as though the entire room had caught fire. “Jesus, you’re so fucking perfect.”
His hands traced along the lines on her tummy and she grimaced, sliding her own hands down over her skin.
“I’m sorry it looks like that.”
“Lily Kate.” She sighed, and he grabbed her hips, pulling her towards him until his lips brushed over her loose skin. “You grew my daughter inside you. There will never be a single moment in time where I would ever think that makes you less attractive. Every stretch mark on your body is a line in the story of her journey to us. I can’t wait to see the ones that are added to your body when you carry her siblings.”
Her whole body flushed as his words washed over her.
“How does someone with a reputation for being so grumpy turn around and say the most beautiful things to me?”
“It’s only for you, Lil. My soft side is only for my family.”
She dabbed at the blood now crusted onto his skin. Her breath shuddered as he cupped her breast, letting his thumb circle her peaked nipple. An intense tingle rolled through her body, and she immediately knew she was about to have a letdown of her milk.
“Shit, Gunner.” Lily stepped back from him, closing her robe and placing her hands over her breasts. Not a moment too soon, either, as she felt the fabric dampen.
“What’s wrong?” He stood and walked towards her, boxing her in at the sink.
“It’s nothing. I just…” she felt embarrassment heat her cheeks. “I got turned on when you touched me, and…you know…I’m leaking.”
“Really?” His lips turned up in a smile.
“What is that smile for? This is mortifying?”
“It’s mortifying that you are keeping the cutest little human alive by making her food with your body?” He genuinely looked confused.
“It’s just…it’s not sexy. Leaking all over the place like a cow who needs to be milked.”
“There’s where you are wrong, Lil. The thought of me turning you on so much that happens is so fucking sexy. I’m having a hard time not taking you to bed so I can have a taste myself.”
“Gunner!”
“What? You think Sage should get to be the only one to enjoy your new talents?”
Lily laughed and relaxed as Gunner’s hands slid down her arms, prying them apart. He looked at her like a starving man before he began licking the skin across her neck. Slowly, he moved down to her collarbone as her skin pebbled from the warm feel of his tongue swirling over her heated flesh.
When he got to her chest, Lily’s breathing stopped. The wait to see what he was going to do felt like the most amazing sort of torture.
Gunner caught her eye and licked his lips before he ran his hands around her waist and sucked her breast into his mouth. God, it felt amazing. Lily had thought her breasts would be an absolute no-go during sex after nursing Sage, but they felt sensitive in the best way, and her body responded more to the touch than she thought possible.
Her breath hitched as he popped off and licked his lips again.
“Shit, Lily Kate. You are so fucking delicious. One taste and I’m already addicted to you.”
“You cannot do that again until after we get cleaned up.” He laughed, and she knew it was from how breathless she sounded. Honestly, she couldn’t believe how much that had just turned her on.
Taking his hand, she somehow pulled him back over to the toilet, where she sat him down and shook her head at the way the wound on his head was still open.
“You should have let someone look at this at the hospital.”
“Nah. This is way better,” he laughed. “At the hospital, I would have gotten an old man. Here I have the hottest woman I’ve ever met, and I get to touch her while she treats my boo-boos.”
It was Lily’s turn to laugh. “Your boo-boos? I think Sage is changing you.”
“Of course she is. You and her both.”
Concern clouded her mind. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled.
“I meant it in the best way, Lil.” Gunner pulled her hand away from his face and removed the cloth from her hand. “I think my head is all better. We should get in the shower.”
She froze as soon as he grabbed her hand.
“You don’t want to?”
“I want to.”
“Okay. So why are you standing there frozen to the ground?”
“I just, I waited so long for this, Gunner. For you, whatever is happening between us right now started growing during our marriage, but it’s always been there for me.”
“Lily, I don’t deserve you.” He swept her hair away from her face with his hands, capturing it in a bun that he then pulled gently on. With her face tipped up towards his from the tension, he lowered his lips just a fraction of an inch from hers.
“You’re too fucking good for me, Lil. But fuck if I’m ever going to be able to let you go.”
Her lips parted on a soft sigh, and he pressed a kiss to them. She bit his lip, pulling the tender skin possessively .
“I don’t want you to let me go. I want you to fuck me and make me your wife in every way, Gunner. I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.”
“My wife.”
He kissed her temple.
“My wife.”
His teeth nipped at her bottom lip and he pressed his hips up against hers. Lily immediately sank down on his leg, rolling her hips with a moan and fuck if that wasn’t the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.
“Holy hell,” he groaned. “I think my wife just might be my undoing.”
“Are you going to just stand there and fantasize about what you want to do to me, husband? Or are you going to show me?”
“Oh, my wife wants to be a brat, does she?”
Lily laughed as Gunner wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug and carried her into the shower, placing her directly underneath the stream of warm water.
“Gunner! I’m trying to be sexy here. Now I probably look like a drowned rat!”
“But you’re my drowned rat,” he laughed as he raked the wet hair plastered to her face away.
His cock was rock hard, aching to sink inside her. She looked down, licking her lips before wrapping her fingers around his length. The tight, long strokes she took had his eyes flying to the back of his head. He thrust his hips back and forth as she changed the pressure of her grip. Fuck, he needed to stop, or he was going to explode before he got her to shatter around him. And that wasn’t about to happen.
“Lil, fuck.” He stepped back, loving the way her eyes were pinning him with lust. “You are amazing, but I need to be inside you.”
“Thank God.” Her laugh filled the shower. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he took control. His lips pressed against hers, and his tongue fought for entrance. He planned to taste Lily in every way possible that night.
While she opened and moaned into his mouth, he placed his hand at the apex of her thighs, finding her clit and stroking his thumb back and forth across it. Gunner felt Lily’s body immediately sag against him as her fingers dug into his shoulders.
“Gunner, that feels amazing.”
“Already so wet,” he smiled. “Are you ready for me?”
“Y-yes. Fuck me, Gunner. Please. Make me yours.”
“You are mine. Forever. Those were the vows we made, Lil. Don’t you ever forget it.”
Gunner grasped his cock, lining it up to her entrance and sinking in. Fuck. It was a million times better than he ever thought it would be. She was so warm and tight, perfectly made for him.
Lily gasped, her body going rigid. It didn’t sound like a gasp of pleasure. It was pain. Fuck, he’d hurt her.
“Lil? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She buried her head into his neck and shivered.
“It’s not nothing. Did I hurt you?”
“My doctor said I might have some pain the first few times. It’s not bad, you’re just…big.”
He couldn’t have held in his smile even if he had wanted to.
“Are you okay if I keep going? We can go slow and I’ll be gentle. But if you want to stop, that’s fine too.”
“Gunner, don’t you dare stop. I’m fine.” Apparently, for good measure and to show him just how good she was, Lily rolled her hips, and he moved even deeper inside her. “Move. I will not break.”
“You’re perfect, Lil. So fucking perfect. ”
“I love you.” Her breathless whisper touched every nerve in his body, freezing him in place inside her. He stood there, his eyes roaming over her face, memorizing every inch as he took in the moment. Her eyes flew open, meeting his, and he recognized the emotion flashing in her eyes. Fear.
He raised both of his hands to cup her face, pressing his lips to hers. Slowly, he pulled himself out before pushing into her even deeper than before. The slow motion mixed with her tight heat was almost too much for him to handle.
“Fuck, Lily. I love you, too.” Another piston of his hips had her clawing at his shoulders as her head flew backwards. “It’s always been you.” He moaned, moving his hand from her face, and her panting grew frantic as he circled her clit. “It will always be you. Now come undone for me so we can finish up in the shower and take this to our bed.”
“I don’t think I can take much more of this,” she whimpered.
“You can, and you will. I’m going to make you come so hard over and over again tonight until you realize there is no other man in this world for you. I’m going to ruin you for anyone else.”
“You already have. I’ve been yours forever, Gunner.”
“Good. Now come.” He pinched her clit and pushed into her one last time, loving how she screamed his name into the falling water. Fuck, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever been with.
He wanted to draw every spark of her orgasm out, but hearing his name fall from her lips had put him right on the edge. A few more thrusts and he joined her, his orgasm ripping through him in a crescendo so powerful he thought his legs would give out.
“Jesus, Lil. Fuck.”
“Gunner, oh god.” His eyes flew open, and he saw the panic in her eyes.
“What, baby? Fuck, did I hurt you?”
“No, you didn’t hurt me. I-I’m not…I mean, we didn’t use protection.”
A smile filled his face as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to see you round with my child, Lil.”
“Gunner!”
“It’s something we need to talk about, for sure. I know things went crazy after Sage’s birth, and if you aren’t comfortable with more kids, then I’m okay with that. But if you want more, and your doctor says you are healthy, I don’t want to wait.”
Lily poured some of Gunner’s body wash into her hands and he watched as a thousand different emotions raged across her face. Her soapy hands started at his shoulders and made their way down to his chest.
“I want more kids. I want so many kids that we have to move out of this apartment, into a house with a huge backyard and that built-in playground you promised for Sage.” Her hands slipped lower, to his belly and around to his back. She playfully squeezed his ass and he couldn’t help the laugh that burst from him when she bit her lip and sighed as she ran more soap over his backside.
“But you’re scared,” he offered.
“Yes. I’m scared. So much of it is about going through preeclampsia again. I feel like the really important time bonding with Sage after her birth was shadowed by being sick. I still haven’t really let myself be okay with all the emotions I feel when I think about those first few weeks after her birth.”
“Lil, I–”
“I also just had her, Gunner. I want time with just the three of us. And what happens when a new baby comes and I’m sick again, but we have Sage at home, too. It worries me.” Her hand rested on the darkening bruise over his side. “But it’s also about losing you. I haven’t even let myself think about how different tonight could have been for us. Your job scares me. There’s already the possibility that Sage will lose you. How can I do that to more little souls?”
“The guys and I are thinking about stepping away from our contract work.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Really? But you went out tonight?”
Gunner nodded. “It’s because it was connected to the people who hurt Emma. Possibly to the guy who tried to take you. But once we deal with them, we’re going to dissolve our contracts with the FBI. I always thought I’d need the danger, the adrenaline, to feel alive. But I don’t. The most important thing to me is getting to come home to you and Sage.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything, Lil. I want to do this for our family. And I promise, no more accidents until we get a game plan in place and can talk to a doctor about what to expect if you ever feel ready to get pregnant again, okay?”
Lily nodded, wrapping his large white towel around her body. That possessive spark burned bright in his chest watching her covering up in something that was his, but having her covered wouldn’t do. He had plans for her, and he wanted her completely naked for them.
“Nope.” Gunner grabbed the end she’s tucked in between her breasts and pulled on it, so the towel fell to the ground.
“Gunner! I’m going to drip water everywhere if you don’t let me dry off.”
“I’m not done with you yet.”
Sweeping her up bridal style, Gunner gently walked her into his room, playfully tossing her onto his bed. He threw himself across her and landed with a bounce that made him wince.
“What are you doing? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Although, you know, I missed out on dinner.”
“Do you want me to go make you a plate?”
“No, ma’am. What I want to eat is sitting right here in this bed. You’re just going to sit on my face, wife , so I can have the best meal of my life.”
Her eyes grew wide, and she shook her head slowly back and forth.
“But we just…in the shower. Isn’t that going to be a problem?”
“You think I’m not okay tasting myself on you? I want to, Lil. I want to taste what it’s like to completely possess you.”
“You’ve got a very dirty mouth, husband .”
“Let me show you just how dirty, wife. ”
“I’ll suffocate you if we try that.”
“Don’t be a brat and make me tell you twice, Lil. I won’t hesitate to put you over my knee.”
Her lip curled ever so slightly into a smile.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re bruising my ego by thinking your curves are going to kill me. Even if they did, Lil, I’d die the happiest man in the world.”
Lily sighed and pushed him back.
“Fine. But maybe we should have a safe word. Or a safe hand signal, since you probably won’t be able to talk if I’m suffocating you.”
Gunner laughed. “Baby, I’m not tapping out tonight. I’m not tapping out ever.” He laid back on the bed and watched as she slowly crawled up his body, her hand teasing his already painfully hard cock.
“What if I want a taste of you?” she asked, licking her lips. Jesus, she was going to make him explode before he even got to touch her again.
“After. I’m a starving man, Lil. Get up here.” He sat up slightly and grabbed her waist, lifting her until her legs were straddling his chest and her core was just a few inches away from his mouth.
“Oh fuck, Lily. I can’t wait another second to taste you again. Put your hands on the headboard and ride my fucking face.”
She moaned as she moved over him and that was all it took. He dove in eagerly, like a man who had been stranded in the middle of the ocean without food for days. Because he was. He was a man who never thought he’d find love, and yet it was in front of him from the very second he went back home.
Lapping up her arousal like it was honey straight from heaven, Gunner circled her clit with his tongue as she cried out, grinding her hips harder into his face. He grabbed her ass and sank his fingers into her perfect curves, loving how soft and feminine she felt.
“Gunner.” His name rang throughout the room as he slipped his tongue into her entrance and swirled. It was intoxicating, the mixture of her throaty moans and the taste of the both of them together dancing across his tongue.
Gunner felt Lily’s thighs tighten around his head. Fuck, he could tell from the way her body hummed that she was close. He moved back towards her clit, lapping up every inch of her along the way. Lily’s moans reached a fever pitch, and as he raked his teeth over her sensitive nerve, his cock ached for attention. Biting down on the swollen bud, he heard her scream out his name as the headboard shook against the wall.