14. Alar #2
I'd heard Kailin describe my death in detail, and it happened in this exact kind of terrain. The woman I loved saw me fall through a gap just like this one and hit the rocks below, and every time we flew between these peaks, I saw the vision superimposed over the mountainous canvas.
I couldn't tell Veynathei any of that.
Vey was young, a teenager in dragon terms, still developing her instincts and her confidence.
If I told her that the seer who had saved Podana had seen her make a rookie mistake that caused my fall and then fail to save me, it would destroy her confidence, and that might impact her performance in exactly the kind of situations where she needed to be at her best.
She would second-guess every turn, overthink every correction, and the instincts that made her such a naturally graceful flier would be replaced by hesitation, which could be more deadly than any sudden crosswind.
So, I kept it from her, and I hated myself for it, because the bond between us was supposed to be built on trust.
She cleared the gap and climbed, putting distance between us and the peaks. I pulled back, indicating that I wanted her to slow down.
"Something is wrong with you, Alar. You're too cautious even for a beginner rider."
"And how would you know that? I'm your first rider."
"Common sense. Besides, I watched enough flights from the aviary to differentiate between rookies and experienced riders, and you're acting as if this is your first solo flight."
"I'm just being careful."
She banked toward the third waypoint. "Careful is checking your straps before launch. What you are doing now is flying rigid and fighting me on every turn instead of moving with me. Perhaps this rider thing is not for you."
Her accusation felt like a slap. "Can you cut me some slack? I'm new to this, and so are you. Some caution would not kill you, but the lack of it might kill me."
"You don't trust me."
"I do."
"You don't. Every time we enter a gap, you brace as if you expect to fall. Every time I adjust my angle, you overcorrect in the opposite direction instead of leaning into the turn. You are working against me instead of with me, and by doing so you are courting the exact outcome you fear."
The words were akin to a splash of cold water.
Was that what I was doing? Was I actually increasing the likelihood that it would come true?
If I kept flying rigid and fighting Veynathei's instincts, eventually she would make a correction that I resisted at the wrong moment, and the resulting imbalance could be exactly what sent me over the edge.
The prophecy could be self-fulfilling.
"I need to tell you something," I said. There was no point in keeping this from her if I was doing the exact thing I'd feared she would do once she learned about Kailin's vision.
"At last. Talk to me, Alar."
I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with thin mountain air, and told her about Kailin's nightmare and me falling from a dragon with shifting scales through a mountain pass. I also told her about the first two nightmares that had nothing to do with her.
She was quiet for a long time after I finished.
We flew past the third and fourth waypoints in silence, the only sound the rhythmic beat of her wings and the whistle of wind past my ears.
"Why didn't you tell me about this before?"
"I didn't want you to start second-guessing every move, but I was doing it myself, so I figured we might do better if we are on the same wavelength."
"Thank you for telling me. It's a relief to know that it's not your lack of confidence in me because I'm so young.
Now I can compensate for your fear rather than fight against it.
But just so you know, prophetic dreams are not set in stone.
I'm not saying they should be dismissed, but they should be regarded as possibilities, not certainties. "
"Even when the one having these dreams is Kailin? The Hero of Elucia whose dream saved our capital city from a massive Shedun attack?"
"Even then. It is not destiny. It is a warning."
"How do you know that?"
"Dragon smarts. We know a thing or two about the mysteries of the universe."
I didn't know if what she was telling me was true or just something she'd made up to ease my mind, but there was wisdom to her words.
The dreams were a warning, not a destiny. A possible future, not an inevitable outcome.
"You must stop flying as though you expect to fall," Veynathei said. "If you want to survive, you must trust me."
"I'll try," I responded truthfully.
"Trying is for ground dwellers. Doing is for flyers.
" She banked right so sharply that my stomach lurched, then dove toward the fifth waypoint with a speed that pressed me back in the saddle.
"Don't close your eyes, and don't stop breathing.
Fly with me, not against me. Move when I move.
Lean when I lean. Stop overthinking everything and start feeling. Trust me and trust your instincts."
I gripped the straps, took a breath, and let go of the fear. I let Veynathei's confidence flow through the bond, let her instincts guide my body, let the wind and the mountains and the magnetic currents become a language I could read through her.
We threaded through a pass, and I leaned into the turn instead of away from it. She corrected for a crosswind, and I followed her movement instead of fighting it. The difference was immediate and profound, like the difference between swimming against a current and surrendering to it.
"That's better," she said.
"Much better."
"Don't sound so surprised. Despite my young age, I know what I'm doing. I've been flying since I could first leave the nest. I'm a dragon. This is what we do."
I chuckled. "Yeah, you are right. It's only me who is new to this."
She climbed toward the final waypoint. "Kailin is a powerful dreamer, and her visions should be taken seriously, but the correct response to a warning is never paralysis.
We will train not only harder but smarter.
We will practice emergency maneuvers in narrow passes until they become second nature for both of us. And you will learn to trust me."
For the first time in a week, the knot in my chest loosened, not completely, but the grip was no longer as tight.
"By the way, once we begin formation training, you should no longer worry. What Kailin saw happened during a solo flight, not five dragons flying together and learning to be a team." She chuffed. "Solo flights will become rare."
I had been counting the days until formation training started. There were only seven more solo flights left after today, and then I could stop worrying, at least for a few weeks until they resumed.