Chapter 13
Thirteen
S loane looked out the front window for the twentieth time in five minutes, just moving the smallest sliver of curtain out of the way like she had all the other times. No one was there. The suitcase was making her hand ache, but she didn’t dare set it down. Because if she did, she would try to talk herself out of asking for help.
Brakes squealed as she watched a familiar black truck turn into her driveway.
Her heart jumped. Gage. She moved the curtain back again, and sure enough, there he was walking up her sidewalk. A tremor rolled through her body as she made her way over to the door, setting the suitcase by the end table and wiping her very sweaty hands down her flat stomach.
A knock jolted her. She hadn’t been expecting him to do that. Something about the way he was stomping towards her house left her feeling like he might just barge in. Or at least try to.
Shit, she hated the way her hands were shaking. Sloane had to take time to unlock the deadbolts before she could get the door open. She steeled herself, elongating her spine and sucking in a sharp breath before greeting him.
“Gage, I wasn’t expecting you?—”
The look on his face had her words dying on her tongue.
“What’s wrong?”
“Sloane…” Her name came out a desperate cry, and her lip quivered as his hands moved to touch her. But they didn’t. He just stood there, with his hands hovering out in the air, like he was desperate to wrap her up in his arms and never let go. The look of pain etched in his features chilled her to the bone.
“Sloane.”
He said her name again. And again. Anguish dripping through every tone and nuance in his voice.
“Sloane.”
“You have to stop it,” she begged. “Please stop saying my name.”
“That’s just it, Red. That’s not really your name, is it?”
It was right then and there that she realized what was going on.
He knew.
Not just that she’d vaguely called Mae for help. Not that something happened to send her spiraling. The way Gage was looking at her… the way she was watching his heart break as he looked at her asking that question, it was obvious.
Gage looked at her as if she was going to fall apart and disappear if he even blinked. And the way her body shook at that very moment, she might. Her stomach ached, threatening to empty as the truth swirled so thickly in the air between them. And she hated that his eyes showed the way he saw her now. So broken. Reaching out like she was fragile. Discolored by death and the decay of someone’s horrible acts. Dirty.
And she was.
“Y-you know?” It came out as a whisper, and the pain that cut across Gage’s face was the only confirmation she needed.
“Fuck it,” he whispered before wrapping his arms around her shoulders, tucking her safely into his chest. Sloane melted into his embrace.
This is what being safe feels like .
“You have to let go,” she said, begging him to hear the lie in her words. Not truly wanting him to take a step back. Not truly wanting any distance between them.
For the first time ever, he didn’t listen to her, tightening his hold around her. The deep pressure helped to calm her entire nervous system. God, how long had she just needed Gage to hold her?
“I don’t think I can, Red. What you went through.” His hand reached up and brushed the tear off her cheek. “What you survived.”
“How? How do you know?” Her questions came out a sob, but her voice sounded like it was miles away.
Gage looked back to the door, still standing wide open. He waited for a second, with both his hands on her waist, before he let go. She watched him shut and lock the door. “Fuck. I’m all messed up. Is that bag packed? Are you going somewhere?”
“How do you know what happened to me?” she doubled down. Kimi had only called her an hour before? There was no way she could have put information out in the community that would expose Sloane and possibly put her in danger.
He stepped towards her, cupping her face in his hand. “Your eyes. You’re disguising them. Contacts?”
She nodded, willing herself to not fall apart at the softness of his touch. “I’ve had to wear them. All these years. To hide.”
“Fuck. I’m so fucking sorry, Sloane. An FBI Agent came to our office today. To ask for our help protecting someone in our community. Someone who she feared was in danger. Why did I have to hear it from her, Red? Why don’t you trust me?”
“I do trust you! I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone!” She pushed back from his hand, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she paced across her living room. “They drilled it into my head, over and over again before I was relocated. Tell someone about my life before, and he’d find me. I followed the rules. I always follow the rules. Because I didn’t want to die then. Even after all the pain. All the trauma. The darkness. I didn’t want to die.”
Gage’s face was irate. “Why the fuck are you limping?” His eyes dropped to her bare feet, and then his gaze swept across the floor. “Why the fuck is there blood all over your floor?”
She stopped, but before she could even give an answer, he closed the distance between them and gathered her up into his arms.
“I’m sorry, Sloane. So fucking sorry.” He apologized as he set her on the couch, crouching down in front of her and taking her right foot in his hand. “You have shards of glass in your skin. What happened?”
“I forgot. I dropped a glass in the kitchen earlier.”
“Christ. Don’t fucking move.”
She watched as he walked into her kitchen, wet a washcloth and stomped back into the living room.
“I’m going to get your feet cleaned up now. Is that okay?”
She nodded, afraid to hear how pathetically small her voice would be. She’d never seen Gage so gruff before.
And then his words slammed back into her mind. “Wait, you said an FBI Agent was here? Kimi’s here?”
Gage nodded.
“You have to know, she told me so many times that I wasn’t allowed to give away any details of my past. That it would put me in even more danger than I was in when I first got away. I’ve lived for over a decade as Sloane, and I don’t ever want to go back to who I was before. It’s too painful, Gage.”
“You still should have told me. After the accident, I poured all of my past out on the table for you to see. You should have told me then. You should have told me you were in danger!”
“I couldn’t!” she shouted. “I didn’t know… or I was holding out hope… I don’t know. I wanted to. I know how hard it was to share about Melody and Mikey with me. I know the price you paid for that. You can’t see that telling you, asking you to protect me, would have put me in more danger? That saying my old name… Sierra is dead, Gage. All anyone knows is that she didn’t survive being taken. And fourteen years ago, as hard as it was because I was truly ready to give up, I chose to go on living as Sloane.”
“If Agent Liu never came here, if she never contacted us and asked for our help, would you have told me?”
She didn’t even hesitate. “No.”
Gage’s eyes closed and Sloane held her breath. She wouldn’t blame him for walking out the door and never looking back. She would completely understand if he was done with her.
“Your feet need to be properly bandaged. There’s one cut I’m really worried about.”
“My feet are fine. I don’t even feel any pain right now.”
“I think we both know that’s because you’re in a state of shock. I’m going to carry you out to my truck and I’ll come back for your things after.”
“No. You don’t need to carry me. And besides?—”
Gage surprised her, abruptly standing up. He walked over to the suitcase, picking it up with his free hand. Before she could protest, the deadbolt was unlocked and Gage had the door open. Then he turned to her, with his hand held out.
“Fine. Let’s go back to Montgomery Defense and figure out what the next step is. If you say you can walk on your feet, then I trust that you can.”
“You don’t have to?—”
“Red. I’m telling you right now, I’m not leaving you here. I’m not letting Mae come out here to get you. I understand why you thought you had to handle this all on your own, but you don’t. I’m going to make sure everything is okay.”
“You said that already.”
His brows furrowed, but his hand stayed stretched towards her. “When?”
“That night in the woods. You told me you were going to keep me safe.”
“I meant it. Not just for that night. I see now that I need to do a better job of showing you that. So, what do you say? Are you finally ready to let us in?”
“I need to clean up the glass. God, there’s probably blood all over the house.”
Gage smiled. “I’ll send Hawk and Nash over to clean up.”
“You can’t ask them to do that.”
“There won’t be any asking. That’s what family’s for.”
Sloane looked around her house. The place that had been her sanctuary for so long, now felt cold and lonely. She took two steps forwards, grabbing her purse and keys before she walked to Gage, slipping her hand into his for stability as she gingerly put her shoes on.
“Good girl. Let’s go.”
* * *
Neither one of them said anything as Gage drove into Silver Springs. His fingers squeezed down every few minutes, grounding her as the world rushed past. He didn’t press her to talk about the shadows she was running from.
Knowing Kimi was there, in Silver Springs, and that the FBI Agent had given the guys her case file made Sloane want to throw up. The things inside that file were so personal. It was an insight into the darkest part of her life. Although she hadn’t ever seen the file herself, she could only imagine the sorts of things that were in there. Her own police report had been so detailed. She tried to give every last bit of information she had to the police so they could find him. But it didn't help. He was still out there. Still hunting her. Now, killing other women until he would come for her.
“Breathe, Sloane.” The command shot through her body and she dragged in a shaky breath. “Talk to me. Please.”
She shook her head. “What did you see in my file? What does everyone know about me now?” There were tears in her voice, but she wouldn’t let them materialize in her eyes.
“Agent Liu told us what happened to you. Do you know about Virginia?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Well, she told us about that case and how it’s been confirmed to be the same person who…” he shook his head. “I fucking yelled at the guys not to look at the file until I could bring you back. You should be the one to tell us, Sloane. You should be the one, if you are up for it, to tell us what happened during those twenty-two days.”
Tears stung her eyes, but she bit down viciously on her bottom lip to stop them from falling. There wasn’t time for being emotional. She would answer Gage’s questions. She would tell the team about what happened to her, and show them the information she’d been collecting through the years. Then, she’d work with Kimi to come up with a plan to lure him out and finally capture him. Because there was one thing Sloane was certain of in all this mess. She was ready for this nightmare to be over.
Gage pulled into the parking lot behind Montgomery Defense and Sloane quickly released her seat belt, nearly flying from the truck to stalk towards the woman heading in their direction.
“Kimi?”
“Sloane.” The FBI agent gave her a warm smile while maintaining her distance. “I’m so sorry we are seeing each other again under these circumstances.”
“Better now than at one of our funerals.”
“Sloane.” Gage barked. She flinched and his face turned ghostly white. “I’m so sorry, Red. I didn’t mean to yell like that. Just please don’t…” She watched him swallow, grabbing her luggage out of the truck without another word. Kimi turned towards the building, and Sloane placed her hand on Gage’s back.
“I’m sorry. That was a tasteless joke to make. It’s something we had talked about in the past, but I shouldn’t have brought it up like that.”
“I’m not angry, Red. I just don’t ever want to think about something bad happening to you.”
She nodded.
“Let’s get up to the apartment. I’m sure Agent Liu wouldn’t mind coming up to talk with you there while you get settled in.”
“I thought you’d want to talk with everyone…”
“Gage is right, Sloane. I don’t mind at all. And it would probably be best to debrief you first without an audience.”
The elevator ride was silent. Of course she’d been to Gage’s place before. But this was different. This time, she was going for protection. This time, she was going because he was truly a threat.
The three of them stepped inside Gage’s apartment, Sloane leading Kimi straight to the sofa.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”
“I wanted to get through the meeting with the Montgomery Defense team before meeting with you. I thought that if I told you the Bureau wanted to bring them in to help with the case, it might be easier for you to accept the help.”
“You told them everything?”
Kimi winced, then slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry, Sloane. I filled them in on the general parameters of your case. And yes, I shared some of what happened while you were being held. I had no idea that you and Gage were seeing each other. On a personal note, I am so happy for you. You’ve done so much to heal and move past what happened.”
“I have. Not that it’s been helping since you called. Does he know where I am?” she whispered, folding her arms over her stomach and curling in on herself. “Does he know my new name?”
“Like I said on the phone, there’s nothing to suggest that there has been any breach of information or any way that he has accessed your new identity.” Kimi patted Sloane’s leg. “I’m needed back in Virginia, but I’ve finagled a few days here to get your protection set up and to get the Montgomery Defense team caught up on the case. Why don’t we plan on getting together tomorrow to go over some things so that you can just have time to process and get settled in here tonight?”
Sloane breathed out slowly. Numbness started to settle back into her body. It was feeling harder and harder to hold herself together.
“Gage, I’m so sorry. Could I have a glass of water?” she asked. It wasn’t that she was particularly thirsty, it was the fact that she needed to plant a seed in Kimi’s mind before he could shoot down her idea.
“Of course. Agent Liu, can I get anything for you?”
“I’m fine. Thank you, though.”
They both watched as Gage turned and walked into his kitchen.
“Alright, what didn’t you want him to hear?” Kimi asked.
“I want you to use me. To lure him out. Gage and the team are going to freak out and say no, but I want you and whoever else is assigned to this case to figure it out. I’m the one that got away. I’m the one he ultimately wants. I don’t want anyone else getting hurt and I need to be the one that puts an end to this.”
“I can’t promise anything, Sloane. I want to catch this bastard just as much as you, but there are protocols in place and policies we have to follow.”
“Fine. But I want you to try. And I don’t want you telling Gage or the team any more about what I went through.”
“I understand. I’ll follow your lead tomorrow. But I also want you to know there are other options.”
“Options?”
“We can go the same route we did fourteen years ago. Relocation. A new name, a new place. You can start over. I still have my contact in play. You give me the word, I’ll put things into motion.”
Before she could process what Kimi had just offered, Gage walked back into the living room. He handed her a glass of water before sitting on the sofa beside her. Not touching, but close enough she could feel his concern pouring off of him. “Everything okay?”
She desperately wanted him to hold her. But her emotions were too close to the surface. It would just take her mind back there. And if Gage was looking so terrified at the numbed version of her, he wouldn’t survive the version that felt every second of terror she’d been through.
That version of Sloane was messy, and loud, and filled with so much fear and sorrow. No, she couldn’t let that Sloane out of her cage. Sierra was tucked away in a little box in her heart, and that was for the best.
“Kimi and I were just talking about her team.” Sloane smiled tightly. “She’s moved up in rank since the last time we were together.”
“I have. But that doesn’t mean I’m any less determined to see this case closed, once and for all.”
“Good. Because I’m finally ready to stop hiding. Let’s go over the new information you have.”
* * *
“That was intense. Are you okay?”
God, what a stupid question to ask. Of course she wasn’t. If everything felt wrong to him, then Sloane must be feeling it a million times over. The room was too warm. The air, too thick with emotion.
Tears swelled in her eyes. She was finally letting herself feel after a grueling two hours of talking with Kimi about the evidence they’d been gathering since Sloane’s case. Fuck, every little detail had flipped his stomach, and now it sat churning with worry for the woman sitting next to him.
“Tell me what you need.” Gage slid off the sofa, crouching down on his haunches in front of her, his hands hovering above her legs.
“You,” she whispered.
“Red, you have me.” His thumb reached up, wiping away her tears. “What can I do?”
“Can I wear your clothes again?”
His heart squeezed painfully. “Yeah, of course you can. Come on.”
He left her in his bedroom to change, feeling the dread spreading in his gut. He needed to talk to the guys.
Before he could reach for his cell, Sloane was back, his sweatshirt hitting her mid-thigh while her hands pulled the sleeves down so they bunched in her palms.
And that’s when he noticed it. She wasn’t wearing her contacts. And for the first time, Gage got to see her eyes.
They were stunning. One eye so blue it looked as if she’d taken the Caribbean sea and bottled it up. Her other eye was mossy green. Deep and rich like a pine forest. It made him think of rainy days spent curled up on the couch.
Her gaze bounced around the apartment. “Are you sure you want me to stay here? I’m really fine with staying in my office, or I can ask Mae if I can stay with her and Hawk for a while.”
“There’s no way in hell I’m having my girlfriend stay anywhere but right here with me. God, Sloane, you have to know this is right where you belong.” He patted the spot next to him on the couch and waited for her to sit down.
“It’s your space, Gage.” Her eyes traveled over to the table under the wall-mounted TV where Gage had pictures of Melody and Mikey displayed as she pulled up her leg and wrapped her hands around her knee. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to push through this faster than you are ready to. The one night I stayed before is a lot different than this. It could be weeks. Months. He might never be caught.”
“Sloane. I’ve been ready since the first time you let me hold your hand. I’m okay with this. I wish it wasn’t being forced upon you. That you came here because you wanted to take this step, but the fact of the matter is that you need protection, and this building is just about the safest place you can be in this county.”
“And who wouldn’t want to live in a building with a bunch of hunky former SEALs?”
Gage growled. He didn’t care. Even in the middle of everything, he wanted her to see him that way, and no one else.
“Don’t worry,” a beautiful smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “I’m happy I get to stay with the most handsome SEAL of all.”
His fingers found their way towards hers.
“You told Agent Liu not to discuss any more with me than she already had.”
Sloane closed her eyes and let her back fall against the couch. She felt Gage move to sit beside her. “God, you heard that?”
“I wasn’t trying to listen in, but I was coming out to bring the drinks and you were whispering. It caught my attention.”
“I didn’t want her to tell you everything, because I know it’s important that I do it.”
“You don’t have to right now…”
“But I do. I want to. Before tomorrow when I talk to everyone else. There are some things I don’t think I’ll ever be able to share with them, but I’d like to try to share them with you.”
“We don’t have to do it tonight, Red. I know I gave you shit about keeping all of this to yourself, but if it’s too much right now, then I don’t want to push you.”
He watched as she raked her lower lip between her teeth. “I want to try.”
“Okay.”
She nodded, her eyes dropping to her lap. “My freshman year of college was normal. I had a dorm on campus and a really sweet roommate. My classes went well and I loved the freedom of being away from home. I loved it so much that when my roommate and a few friends decided to rent a house off campus for sophomore year, I fell over myself to join them. We spent the summer working and having parties, getting ready for the next year of school. But that’s also when the notes started.”
“Notes?”
She nodded. “Left on our door. On my car. At my normal seat in the library. At a table in the cafe where I worked.”
“What did they say?”
“In the beginning they were all different. Admiring the outfit I was wearing. Talking about my eyes.”
“What changed?”
“I had a friend who seemed into me. A guy in my World History class. He was so sweet and gentle. I thought maybe he was the one leaving the notes. There was nothing shocking or inherently scary about them. But one day I asked him and he was concerned. Told me to take them to the police station since I wasn’t on campus and the school couldn’t do anything about it.”
“How can you be sure it wasn’t him? It’s not unheard of that a shy man turns out to be a stalker, or that he might lie.”
“I can be sure,” she whispered. “I was there when he was murdered.”