Chapter 18
Eighteen
The bed dipped next to her. Stone was home.
Mae opened her eyes, hating how raw they felt. She’d promised him she would eat dinner, but the protein bar on her nightstand, still in its wrapper, exposed her lies. There was never going to be a way for her to eat after what Laurel had done.
Mae felt sick. Exposed in the most vulnerable way. To share something like that is one thing, but to share it so maliciously… And then for Mae to have to tell the truth. To hear Stone say the words out loud again.
She’d lost the baby.
And now, all the guys knew. The way her brother had looked at her, the questions and the emotions she saw in his eyes, the way she’d pushed him away with a single shake of her head.
She hoped, in a weird way, that Stone would finally have peace now that the guys knew. He’d have people to talk to. Someone other than her or Gunner, if he was talking to him about everything. Mae didn’t ask, because she just wanted to forget.
“How did it go?” she asked, her voice coming out as rough as she felt.
“Fine. Sebastian is leading the ‘stay quiet and move calmly’ charge.”
“Do you agree with that? It’s also your name that’s getting dragged.”
“I’m not worried about me. I just don’t want you to be in the line of fire.”
“Fire? I can handle Laurel. Honestly, I wish I’d been faster than Beau. He’s fast for someone with that much bulky muscle. He probably does yoga with Birdie… that’s why he’s so limber.”
Stone smiled, his hand coming up to play with a strand of her hair.
“Interesting tangent. I’ll have to remember to tell Beau you described him that way the next time I see him. Give him a little ego boost as a thanks for keeping you safe.”
“There was no ‘keeping me safe.’ All he did was protect Laurel.”
“Speaking of her, which I absolutely don’t want to except to remind you that you are so incredibly sexy when you are riled up like that…
There are news reporters outside already.
A big van is set up across the street. It’s only going to get worse before something else happens in the news cycle and it pulls attention away from us. ”
“But it’s all a lie,” she sighed.
“Yeah. It is…”
He sounded so defeated. Mae snuggled her body in closer to his side, letting one hand hold his bicep while the other landed over his heart. But even before she could ask him anything else, he was pulling her closer.
“The girls asked about you.”
“What did you say?”
“Just that today was upsetting and you wanted to go to bed. Nothing about the baby.”
“Thank you.”
“I still think you need to talk to them. It’s been long enough, hasn’t it? And now that the guys know—”
“Tomorrow… Today was a tough day. I just need you to hold me tonight. Is that okay?”
He sighed, the breath rushing out of his lungs so quickly that Mae felt like she might fall through the mattress. “Of course it’s okay, Michaela. There’s nothing more I’d rather do than lay here with you in my arms.”
“Nothing?” Her brow quirked as she let her fingers run from his chest down his stomach and over his—
“Hey now,” Stone’s laugh made it impossible to hide her smile. “God. I love you so much. You know that, right?”
“Even after Beau had to hold me back from snapping my fist into that bitch’s face?”
“Mae. I’ve never seen anything hotter in my entire life. Trust me, I wish the only thing I had done was thrown you over my shoulder and brought you right up here to show you just how turned on I was.”
His fingers rested along the band of her sleep shorts.
“I’m worried about your chest…”
“I know. And I’m still worried about your recovery. Still… Wanna make out tonight?”
“Oh my god.” Mae giggled. “How old are we? Thirteen?”
His fingers dug into her side and she giggled. “Who were you making out with at thirteen, Michaela Morgan? I want their name right now so I can look them up and knock them out for touching my girl.”
Mae rolled her eyes, pressing a kiss up onto the underside of Stone’s jaw.
“Remember the first time we drove over to Bell Ridge together and parked by the lake?” he asked.
Mae giggled. “That did not just end with making out. And you know it.”
“Christ. How could I forget? But we did make out for a long time that night. Maybe tomorrow… would you want to…”
“Get in your truck and make out like two people hiding their attraction from all their friends?”
“Yeah… Only this time I think we’d be dodging some reporters?”
“You know what, Sully? I think I’d love that.”
“Good then. It’s a date.”
Mae’s eyes felt like they’d been resting against sandpaper all night. Apparently, that’s what you get when silently crying yourself to sleep, and then waking up a few hours later to do it all again.
“What are you doing here?” she croaked as her eyes met Lily’s. “I thought you were Stone.”
“Nope. But he did call me this morning and asked me to come spend the day with you. So, here I am. And I brought everything with me that we might need, so we aren’t leaving this bed all day unless we have to pee!”
“Lily—”
“Nope.” She scooted over in the bed wrapping her arms around Mae. “I should have been here. I should have known. I’m so sorry.”
Mae pressed her lips together tightly, fighting the wobble in her chin. She cleared her throat, trying to focus on anything other than the pain oozing out of her heart. “It’s fine. It was so early. It’s stupid that I’m this heartbroken over a little tiny someone that complicated things.”
“Mae. I wish you would have told me. Even last night—”
“I can’t talk about it. I can’t. I’ll never stop crying and I hate that. This isn’t who I am. I’m not an out of control blubbering mess!” Her voice hitched as tears flooded her vision, making Lily look like she was under water. “Why can’t I stop crying?”
Her sweet friend gave her a watery smile. “We can blame it on the hormones if you want.”
“Yes, please.”
“Okay, that’s what we’ll do. And we don’t have to talk about it right now. We can turn on some ridiculous reality show and eat all the brownies I brought, but I was instructed by your boyfriend to make sure you keep the heating pad on your belly while we’re in bed. He knows you’re still in pain.”
Mae bit on her lip and reached behind herself to grab the heating pad off the nightstand. So much for hiding the way she was actually feeling.
“This all sounds perfect.” She clicked the heating pad controls to the highest setting before reality slammed into. “Shit. Wait. It’s a work day. I need to go to the office.”
Lily gave her a sad little smile. “You absolutely do not. Gunner is going to take care of everything today.”
“No. I can’t let him do that. The guys are already being run through the wringer with that awful article. Yesterday was such a shit show, I can’t imagine today will be any better.”
“They’re tough. They can pull the phone off the line and ignore their emails if they need to. And I know he wants you to have some time to heal.”
Mae’s fingers started pulling at a loose thread on the edge of the blanket she was wrapped in. “That’s really sweet of him. I guess he finally got sick of me punching the electronics around the office...”
An hour later, the aching, cramping emptiness inside her was hurting less.
It was still there, and Mae noticed how Lily’s eyes kept moving from the TV to assess her each time she moved or tried to find a more comfortable position.
They’d eaten spoonfuls of warm brownies, laughed at the ridiculous behavior of housewives in some big city on one of the coasts, and Mae settled into the comfort of just having her best friend there with her.
It was overwhelming to feel her friend’s love and support. Mae let her head fall on Lily’s shoulder as she moved to try and find a comfortable position again. Lily’s hand came around Mae’s back and she gave her a half hug from the side.
“Did Gunner tell you before today? That he knew?” she whispered.
Lily shook her head. “Gunner didn’t tell me until this morning when Stone wanted me to come over, but I guess Stone was freaking out the night you…
it happened. He called Gunner crying. I remember him whispering something in my ear when he rolled out of bed, but it wasn’t anything about you.
Gunner didn’t know until he came over here to talk to him. ”
“Stone was crying?” Gunner hadn’t mentioned that when she’d completely melted down in the printer room. God, why was that breaking her heart?
Lily nodded. “Gunner said he’d never seen him like that. Panicked. Couldn’t calm him down. It was like he thought he was going to lose you too.”
“But he already did lose me. And I’m having to stay here every day and act like everything’s fine because he still needs to heal.
What about what I need? He still looks at me like he loves me, Lily.
But what happens when he gets his memory back?
What happens when he remembers that he wanted me gone?
That he got what he wanted when he held me as I cried in the shower losing our baby…
because he didn’t actually ever want a baby with me? ”
“What if he never remembers that time? What if you’re able to work through the things you both said to each other and you both realize that yes, this was the most horrific way imaginable to get a second chance, but it’s yours to make the most of?
Maybe you two walk away from this stronger than ever before. ”
“How can I do that when I’m not allowed to tell him what happened that night?”
“When did she fall asleep?” Sloane’s voice weaved its way into the darkness of Mae’s mind.
“Less than an hour ago. I was trying to let her rest. I don’t think she’s been taking care of herself.”
“That’s not surprising. Something like a miscarriage…”
Mae groaned. “Alright, hens, quit talking about me like I’m not even here.”
Her eyes opened, and Lacy, Sloane, and Lily were all perched on various points of her bed, staring back at her.