Chapter 21 #2
“The only person who would want to do that is dead.”
“You think. What if someone is avenging Caulleou? Someone’s pissed you took him out of a game we weren’t aware he was playing?”
“I know they burned him on those drug charges after I reported him, but it seems crazy to throw your life away on that. Especially when you don’t have family to go home to. Why work to such an elite position and then throw it all away…”
Before he could ask another question, his cell started ringing. The screen lit up, a cute picture of Mae and Lily laughing together that he’d taken at Sage’s birthday party.
“Your wife is calling me.” Stone swiped the phone off the table and held it up for Gunner to see.
“What the fuck? Hand me the phone.”
“I’ll put it on speaker, but only if you calm down. Mae probably just figured out she left her phone at home.”
“Fine. Answer it. On speaker,” Gunner ordered.
He hit the answer button, flipping immediately to push the volume up so they all could hear her. “Hey, Lily. How’s girls’ night going? Everything okay?”
“Stone, can you come down to Davney’s?”
He sucked a harsh breath in as he pushed off the sofa. “What’s going on?”
“It’s Mae. She’s safe, I promise! We’re all watching after her right now… just… she needs you.”
“We’ll be right there, Lil.” Gunner growled as he picked up the phone.
“Everything’s okay, handsome. Mae just needs Stone right now. Nothing dangerous. So take a breath, let Sage and Embrie stay there, and I’ll be home in a little bit.”
“Don’t be stubborn—”
“Gunner, stay with the girls. Send Stone and Hawk down here, okay? I’ll be home soon.”
“Don’t go anywhere without Gage or Nash,” Gunner growled.
“I know the rules. And I promise, I’ve been a very good girl tonight.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“I knew you would. Hawk, make sure Stone gets here in one piece.”
“Sure thing, Lily.”
The next five minutes were a blur as his heart pounded against his ribs.
Hawk drove, while Stone sat in the passenger seat, tapping his fingers against the door.
Lily could have told him one-hundred times that Mae was fine, and he still wouldn’t have believed it.
He could so clearly hear the concern in her voice that she was trying to hide.
And god, did he want to know why it was there in the first place.
As soon as Hawk had the truck in park, Stone was out. His boots hit the ground and he was moving. A whistle from the outdoor patio and some raucous laughter in a very familiar pitch immediately clued him in to where she was.
“You guys!” Mae wobbled as she hopped off her chair and closed the distance between them. “Look who’s here! My baby daddy!”
“How much have you had to drink tonight?” he whispered as she slammed against his chest.
“Hey, daddy. Well, baby daddy… that’s probably not the right title, since there’s no baby anymore.” She brought the glass she was carrying up to her mouth and slammed down the clear liquid.
“Okay, I think that’s probably enough for tonight.” Stone tightened his grip around her waist. “Let’s get you home.”
“Why?” She smiled, her teeth capturing her bottom lip before it popped free. “You want to fuck another baby into me?”
“Mae!” Lily shouted so quickly that Mae’s eyes went wide.
“Oops,” she giggled, laying her head down on Stone’s shoulder. “I don’t think I know what I’m saying right now.”
“I know, sweetheart. Come on. Let’s get you home and into bed.”
Mae tripped over the threshold only a second after Stone got the door open.
“Hey.” He reached out, steadying her hips. “Easy there, tipsy lady.”
Mae turned in his hands, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. Stone could taste the tequila on her tongue. God, she was going to hate that decision in the morning.
“I meant what I said at the bar,” she whispered against his lips.
“What’s that, beautiful?”
“I want you to fuck me. I want you to put another baby inside me. I want you to take away this empty feeling that’s making me feel crazy.” Her voice caught as she patted his chest. “I would be a good mom. And you would be a good dad. We should have…” Her sniffle broke his heart.
“I know, Michaela. We should have had the chance.”
Her eyes went wide, and she smiled. “You’ll do it then, Sully? I mean, we’ll do it? We’ll try for another baby? The doctor said I could.”
Stone sighed, his hand slipping off her hips as he grabbed her hand, helping her over to the sofa. He wanted to tuck her into bed and get her to rest, but Stone knew walking towards the bedroom right then would give Mae the wrong idea.
“Come on, handsome. We can start right here. Who knows where the baby was made before. I’m guessing it was the night we did it in the kitchen. But it could have been the time we roll played—”
“Beautiful. We can’t. I can’t…”
Her face dropped. “You don’t want to touch me like that?”
“Of course I do,” he groaned. “I love you. I don’t want to hurt you. The doctor might have told you it’s okay to get pregnant again, but I want to be sure you’re okay before we try. And this… this isn’t a Mae who’s okay.”
Mae’s breathing changed. Her chin quivered as she shoved her lips together and nodded.
“Got it.” Her hand slid from his as she stood, teetering for just a second before turning her back on him. “I’m going to change and get ready for bed.”
“I’ll be there in just a second,” he nodded, not knowing why he bothered because she was already marching away from him.
Stone stood, his hand running over his face before he walked into the kitchen. He needed to get some food into her stomach, so Stone grabbed a protein bar out of the cupboard and filled a glass with water from the fridge.
He made his way down the hallway, expecting to see light coming from the guest bathroom. But the light was off. And a painful heaviness pulled deep in his stomach as he turned into their bedroom. Light was shining out from under the closed bathroom door.
“Mae?” Stone set the glass of water on the nightstand and made his way to the bathroom.
He’d been watching her. Every time Mae excused herself from the bedroom, or the living room, or the kitchen, she never stepped foot inside that bathroom.
She was still only using the guest one. And he couldn’t blame her.
It was hard for him not to hear her screams the second he walked in there.
But walking into the bedroom, seeing that bathroom door closed, he knew something was wrong.
Stone pressed his ear to the door, and that’s when he heard it.
The sound of a gut wrenching sob, somehow muffled because she didn’t want him to hear. “Mae, I’m coming in.”
Each step inside, each cry he heard, brought him right back to the night they’d lost their baby. All the blood. Her lying in the shower. The overwhelming panic that he felt when he didn’t understand what was going on.
But none of that compared to what she went through.
“Mae.” Her whispered name left his lips as he slid down the wall and sat next to her.
Should he touch her? Should he just sit silently and wait for the emotions to pass?
Did she want him to be there? Would it have been best to leave her alone?
There was a part, deep in his heart, that knew exactly what to do once he made his way through all that worry.
“I d-didn’t mean to c-come in here. W-Why did I come in h-here?”
“Shh. It’s going to be okay.” Stone’s arm wrapped around Mae’s back, pulling her half onto his lap, and half onto his chest.
“I c-can’t do this.”
“You don’t have to. You don’t have to carry this all by yourself. You’re so strong, but you can lean on me.”
She shook her head against his chest, her fingers curling into a fist around his shirt.
“Why won’t you touch me now? W-Why?”
He swallowed. “You’re in so much pain, Mae. I don’t want to add to that.”
“I’m fine. My body is okay.”
“You are so far from fine it’s not even funny.”
She groaned, her face pressing even harder into Stone’s chest. And that’s when he heard her whispered confession. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
He reached up, his thumb catching under her chin to tilt her face up to his. “Mae, let me in. Do you think this isn’t killing me? Watching you push down all that pain. You aren’t dealing with things. You’re just running from them. I should have known that this is how tonight would end.”
“How tonight…” Horror etched across her features. “Are you embarrassed because I went out drinking?”
“No. Not at all. I’m upset that I didn’t see you were still in so much pain that you needed to numb it by drinking so much with the girls.”
“Drinking so much,” she scoffed, nothing but pain behind the sound.
“I know how much I had. I let loose with my friends. I just didn’t want to feel…
” she waved her hands around her head. “I didn’t want to feel all this.
It’s too much. All day. Every day. The waiting and the wondering.
The loss. The unknown of what’s to come.
I hate it. I never really even thought about being pregnant before, and now that it was taken from me, it’s all I want.
And I can’t even blame you for not wanting to go through it again with me because what if I’m broken?
What if my body will never carry your child again, Stone?
What if I can get pregnant, but never actually stay pregnant long enough for our child to make it into this world alive? ”
He didn’t know how to respond. She’d done exactly what he asked.
She’d completely opened up to him. Told her what she truly feared.
And he just sat there, cradling her, running his hand up and down her back until her hands loosened a few minutes later.
And before he could ask her to listen to him, she was pushing up out of his hold.
Mae paused for a second, steadying herself on the sink before she charged out into the bedroom.