Chapter 4
Four
The door to the diner opened and Jessie wanted to cry. She wasn’t going to be okay. That stupid CLOSED sign should have kept people out, but she knew it was dumb to press her luck and not throw the lock. Lesson learned.
God, she felt awful. The little grape nestled in her belly was literally sucking the life force out of her.
A teeny, tiny, adorable little grape–at least, that’s what the pregnancy app she’d forced herself to download to stop the panic clawing at the back of her throat as she walked back to the diner after her appointment told her.
Knowledge was power, and Jessie knew that seeing all the information about where she was at in her pregnancy would help.
The long days at the diner weren’t helping either.
The dizziness seemed to peak in the mornings, but the nausea was all day long.
She couldn’t serve–her mom still thought it was just a stomach bug–so Jessie was forced to take closing shift duties.
It was normally a fair trade off, but Jessie couldn’t imagine being on her feet for another second.
She’d finished her online class an hour ago, and now that she was so close to having the place sparkling, the money counted and back in the lock box, and her exhausted self out the door and on the way to her warm and soft bed, the last thing she wanted to deal with was a customer who couldn’t read a fucking sign.
But her heart dropped into her churning stomach as soon as she turned and saw who was there.
“What do you want, Hawk? I’m about to close and I need to get out to the ranch. I feel dead on my feet.”
He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck.
Poor guy actually looked uncomfortable. No.
She didn’t care. They’d agreed. One night only.
It didn’t matter if she hadn’t stopped thinking about how fucking perfect he was.
It didn’t matter that she had his child growing in her belly.
How the hell was she supposed to tell him?
“I was just taking a walk. Didn’t think I’d see you in here for closing.” He pushed one of the wooden chairs in front of him closer to the table. “You’re sick, Jess. You told me you were going to talk to Dolly and go home. You need time off. You were supposed to take time off a few days ago.”
“You stalking me now, Chief?”
“I protect what’s mine, Pretty Girl,” he challenged.
But that didn’t help the way she suddenly felt overheated.
Sweat beaded along the back of her neck, a feverish shiver making its way through her body.
Her stomach cramped, but Jessie closed her eyes, forcing in a sharp breath to keep the bile at bay.
What’s his. He protects what’s his… Hawk was talking about her, but when he found out about the consequences of their one night stand… God. How was she supposed to drop this bomb?
Jessie simply shrugged. “We didn’t have anyone to cover. I promised my mom I would close if she served since I’ve been under the weather. She’s counting on me.”
“You need to rest,” he growled, reaching out towards her face. No. Nope. If he touched her, she’d never stop the tears from spilling, and then she’d blurt out how much she was about to mess up his life. There was just no way she could let him touch her right then.
So Jessie did what she needed to in order to push Hawk away. She snapped at him. “Did you come in here to lecture me?” She spun, trying to grab the cleaning cloth, but when she stopped, the spinning didn’t.
“Jessie? Hey, whoa…”
She swayed, grasping onto the counter top as hard as she could, begging the swirling to stop. Hawk’s voice was there, a steady stream of calm, cool, comfort as everything disintegrated in front of her.
“What the hell is going on?”
“I’m fine.” She waved him off. “I just got a little dizzy.”
“That wasn’t a little dizziness. You looked like you were about to pass out. Should I call Doc? Or do you want to go to the clinic? Doesn’t Jake have those extended hours twice a week?”
Jessie tried to shake her head but gave up. It was only going to make the whirling worse. “I already went to the clinic.”
His brows furrowed on his forehead, and she couldn’t help but think about how the lines in his forehead seemed more prominent. Was he actually worried about her?
“What did he say? Is it a virus?” She couldn’t help but lean into his hand as it rested on her cheek, his thumb sweeping across her hot skin. “I know it’s been busier than normal lately because you’re short staffed. Did you skip eating?”
“Kind of have to when I’m throwing up all the time,” she blurted out before she could sensor herself.
“So you are really sick? Dammit, Jess. You shouldn’t be here. What if you… if you came home with me? I could watch out for you. Make sure you stay hydrated and actually rest.”
That was such a sweet thought. And yet, she forced herself to step back from his warmth.
“I’m not sick. Not really. I just…” Hawk’s concerned face swam in front of her again as the sound of the music playing in the diner dimmed in her ears.
Dark dots danced around the edges of her vision and her body flushed hot and then shivered violently.
Shit. She really was about to pass out. “Can you help me sit down?”
Jessie hated asking for help. She wasn’t some damsel in distress.
She’d grown up mucking out the horse stalls and roping cattle with her brothers on the ranch.
Sure, they went easier on her than they did each other because she was so much younger than them, but never because she was a girl.
They gave her the room to toughen up and prove how strong she could be.
That she could be someone they all relied on.
But this situation-ship of hers was the only option she had at the moment.
Hawk wrapped his arm around her waist and carefully held onto her as he led her over to one of the tables she’d already cleaned.
“You need something to drink?”
“This is my diner. Don’t you think I should be the one offering you something to drink?” she snapped. Her head fell into her hands and she moaned. The fucking nausea just wouldn’t leave her alone.
“It’s actually your mom’s place. And I think I should be the one getting whatever you need because you look like hell.” His chair scraped across the floor, but she didn’t have the energy to watch him walk away.
A minute later, the clomping of his cowboy boots and the scrape of his chair told her he was back.
“Drink.” Hawk’s strong, warm hand landed on her back and he began moving it in circles over her shoulders and back towards her spine. “Then tell me what’s wrong.”
She was just about to argue when she picked up her head and saw he’d poured her a ginger ale. Her mom always had her sip ginger ale when she was sick as a kid. The stupid glass of coke had her bursting into tears.
His warm hand landed on her arm and made her cry even harder. “Jessie, you have to tell me what’s wrong right now. This is scaring the fuck out of me.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I don’t know how… I promise. I wasn’t lying. I didn’t lie. And I know I’m just the girl you fucked for a good time and I just can’t believe that still—“
“Hey. We’ll come back to how fucking wrong that statement was. But I need you to just say it. Tell me whatever the problem is and maybe I can help.”
Her eyes dropped to her lap before closing all together.
“I’m so sorry, Hawk. I’m pregnant,” she whispered.
God. She’d been hoping for something more eloquent or at least a decent conversation building up to that.
Terrified of how he was taking the news, she refused to look up.
Until she heard the scraping of his chair and his boots stomping towards the front door.
He was leaving!
She’d just told him he was going to be a dad and that one-night-stand asshole was leaving! If the room wasn’t still tilted slightly off kilter she had half a mind to stomp right up there—Oh, shit!
Her stomach lurched and she got to her feet. Wobbling as best she could, she rushed to the bathroom. Forget Hawk. She didn’t need him. And the baby sure as hell didn’t either.
Her knees hit the tile like they had five other times that day and everything she’d managed to get down since the last time she found herself in the same position came back up. It wasn’t much. Some water and that sip of ginger ale.
Pregnancy wasn’t beautiful. She didn’t care what anyone else said. It sucked. And she was only a few weeks into it. Her mind flashed back to the information Jake had given her.
The tap turned on behind Jessie and she nearly jumped out of her skin.
“Fuck, Jess. You’re alright. Just breathe.”
A cold cloth pressed against her neck and she wanted to cry at how nice it felt.
These hormones were going to kill her. Then it hit her: that asshole had stayed.
That asshole was whispering the kindest, softest, reassurances to her and she wanted to wrap herself in the baritone sound and fall asleep in the safety of his presence.
That asshole wasn’t really an asshole at all.
“I thought you left,” she managed to choke out before reaching for a handful of toilet paper to wipe across her mouth. Saliva flooded her tongue and her gag reflex was set off again. Hawk’s hand rested on her back as she heaved into the toilet.
“Okay. You’re okay.” His confidence in her current situation was grounding, because somewhere inside she knew that she would be okay, now that he was there, and he knew about the baby. “I got up to lock the door. It’s late, and it sounds like we have some shit we need to talk through.”