Chapter 15
Fifteen
Hawk sat his ass down on the grass beside the garage with Jessie still tucked safely in his arms. She’d always seemed so small to him, but since she told him she was pregnant, he felt this animalistic need to protect her.
And the baby, too. They were precious. Irreplaceable.
His responsibility to keep them healthy and safe.
A black sedan crawled slowly down the street as he settled Jessie between his legs.
“This is actually really nice,” she sighed and took a deep breath. “Maybe I should start feeling faint more often.”
His stomach dropped. “Please don’t. My heart can’t take it. I hate when you don’t feel well.”
Her hand squeezed his bicep. “I know you do. And I’m only kidding. Although, I wouldn’t mind adding a picnic date to our list of must-dos now that I’ve been feeling better.”
He cringed.
“What was that look for?” she asked.
“I just… Every time you have a bad day, I’m afraid it’s not just going to be a one-off. That I’ll go to the diner and find you crying on the bathroom floor. Or worse, you’ll be at the ranch and you’ll be suffering alone because you’re too stubborn to call me.”
“I’d call…”
“Like you did this morning?” he challenged.
She rolled her eyes, a chuckle moving through his chest at the flare of sass from her. “Fine. I wouldn’t call.”
“Exactly. And since you’re my captive audience right now, I’m going to start telling you all the amazing reasons why you should move in with me. Starting with the fact that I am absolutely wild about you.”
His lips pressed against her temple, and felt her melt even more into his embrace.
“But why me, Hawk?” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “We don’t have to live together, or be together, just because we share a child. You’re being so sweet to me, but I’m a burden you don’t need.”
“Jess—”
“No.” Jessie squeezed her hand on Hawk’s thigh as his touch continued to run feather light over her arm. “What do I offer you, other than incubating your child? I’m literally a small town waitress. I just dropped out of my college classes. I’ve never even been out of Texas… Except…”
He knew exactly where her mind went.
“Don’t fucking think about that day.” The day she’d been taken.
The day she’d been held with Mae, in a fucking cell, halfway to being sold in an auction.
Fuck, he shivered just thinking about how scared she’d looked when the team finally found them.
“We’re going to plan something. Somewhere outside of Texas.
And that will be your first time out of the state.
Just you, me, and Bumblebee. Our family. ”
She smiled at that. “I love that idea. But you still have all this experience to teach our child. All these adventures to tell him about one day. And what do I bring to the table? I’d rather be curled up with a book on the couch than climb a mountain.”
“It sounds to me like you’ll be our daughter’s safe place.
” He reached over, taking her hand off his leg before pressing a kiss to her wrist. “Which is more important than any story I’ll ever tell her from any of my time spent in corners of the world I can’t even talk about.
And I’m sorry you dropped your classes. That must have been a really tough call to make. ”
She nodded. “I just couldn’t keep up anymore. Something had to give. Just another thing I’ll disappoint my parents with when they find out.”
“Jessie.”
“Take the baby out of the equation.”
Hawk shook his head. “No. She’s already there.”
“Please,” Jessie whined. “Humor me. If we weren’t having a baby together.
If there wasn’t the most insane domino effect of defective birth control, and we just had the best night of wild, unattached sex after Lily and Gunner’s vow renewal and that was it…
would you still be trying to pursue me? Would I still be on your radar? Or would you have moved on?”
“There is no moving on from you, Jess. You don’t seem to want to hear me when I say it, though. I was trying, the entire year before the vow renewal, to just get you to look at me again. I thought you were over what we shared. The night we made the baby was the best night of my life.”
Her eyes went wide. “You don’t mean that.”
Hawk pulled her hand over his heart. “You feel that? How wonky it’s beating right now?
That’s what my heart does every time I’m near you.
It’s what my heart’s done from the first time I saw you.
It’s always known. You’re mine. And I’m yours.
This…” His hand slid down to rest on her belly.
“This wasn’t planned. But this is the biggest blessing I’ve ever been given in my life.
The baby… and you. Don’t doubt that for another fucking second. ”
“I want to believe you, but—”
“No. No ‘but’ anything. My whole life, I’ve been the funny friend.
The one who was never too serious, because it was easier to hide behind a smile and some flirty words than to ever admit how fucking alone I felt, especially these last few years, watching my friends all find what I’ve always fucking wanted.
It was easy to hide behind my humor, until you came and knocked me on my ass.
And I don’t have to wear that mask anymore.
You’re it for me, Jess. You can choose to believe me.
You can choose to lean on me and let me be a part of this process.
You can choose to believe that I am honest enough to tell you the truth about how fucking happy I am that you are pregnant with my baby and how badly I want you to give us a fucking chance. ”
“I—”
“Just say yes to moving in. Say yes to giving us a chance. Say yes to letting me help take care of you while you grow our child. I’ll prove to you that I mean every single thing I say. Just give me the chance to, Jess. Please.”
Her eyes bounced back and forth between his, but just as she opened her mouth to speak, a truck pulled into the gravel next to them.
“What’s going on?” Lachlan’s face was pale as he jumped out. “What happened? Jess? Why the fuck are you on Hawk’s lap? Are you okay?”
Jessie waved her hand in front of her face while Hawk kept his hand on the small of her back. “I’m fine. I just needed some fresh air.”
“Is it the…” His eyes shifted to Hawk and back to Jessie. Oh. She still hadn’t told him.
“I know she’s pregnant,” Hawk muttered. Jessie’s eyes squeezed shut and her head fell against his chest.
“I didn’t know she’d decided to tell anyone else. But yeah, okay. So, is it the baby? You need me to drive you to the doctor’s?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “No! God, I just felt a little dizzy. I’m fine. It’s passing.”
“And the nausea?” Hawk asked, his thumb rubbing against her cheek.
“It’s better.”
But still not gone.
Lachlan met Hawk’s gaze but didn’t say anything as his face turned bright red and he marched into the shop.
“That was weird. Even for Lach,” Jessie sighed.
“I think maybe he figured out the other half of your secret.”
“The other half?”
He clenched his jaw. “You haven’t told him yet that we’re seeing each other. That I’m Bee’s dad.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.”
Her eyes softened. “Don’t be mad.”
He cleared his throat. No, he wasn’t mad. He was fucking heartbroken that admitting the pregnancy to her family, including Hawk in the day to day things, hell, even admitting that Hawk was the baby’s father, seemed to be so distressing to her.
“Hey.” Her hand reached up and cupped his cheek as she pressed away from his chest. “It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“You don’t know what I’m thinking.”
“Yeah, I do. It’s written all over your face.
I just wanted us to have time to work through everything before my family got involved.
Because if it’s really us together against everything, if it’s you and me and Bee as a family, I wanted us to be able to present a united front when I told them.
That’s all. It’s not about you. It’s about them. ”
“We’re about as united as we’re going to get, Pretty Girl, unless you finally want to say yes to—”
“Stop it,” Jessie chuckled as her eyes dropped to the doughnut box on the ground by his hip. “I’m scared to death over here. But you know what? I think I’m feeling up to taking a bite of that sour cream one.”
Hawk smiled. “The no stings,” he laughed. “But I’m glad you’re feeling better.” He maneuvered the box open, grabbing the sweet treat with his free hand before bringing it to her lips.
Lachlan and Dakota walked out of the shop, the two clearly in a heated discussion, before Dakota turned and walked away with his phone held up to his ear.
He sat on what Hawk assumed was his motorcycle while rubbing the back of his neck.
The stiffness in Lach’s shoulders and the way he was laser focused on his sister put Hawk on high alert.
“So,” Lachlan looked down at his feet. “You two…”
“Lachlan…”
“Jess. Enough is enough. It’s time to stop hiding this secret. Tell Mom and Dad about the baby, please. About Hawk, and whatever the hell is happening between the two of you.”
Her face fell. “You don’t have any room to talk about hiding secrets. What is going on with you and Dakota? I’ve never seen you two like that before.”
“Leave it.” He looked at Hawk. “Take her back to your place. She shouldn’t be here if she’s not feeling well.”