Chapter Fourteen
DAISY
He’s trying to kill me.
I’ve never been so anxious and disoriented. That, or this man surely has a death wish. After keeping me at a distance and not making a move earlier, his subtle touches are driving me crazy. The soft touches and teasing have me feeling like I’m going to scream.
It’s messing with my head and I want to yell and scream at him. I’ve never wanted to miss our Sunday family dinners, but I’m tempted to leave early. I am close to dragging him out of this house and demanding him to stop entirely or make a real move.
I’m quieter than normal, not that I’m super chatty, but I engage in all the chats that happen on family day. This is when everyone catches up with one another. I can’t concentrate on anything being said around me. They could talk to me directly right now, but I might as well be wearing headphones.
His hand keeps squeezing my thigh under the table and I can’t react. This man knows just where to place his hands. All. Evening.
It’s been a brush on my neck here. A brush on my hip there. Gentle caresses and movements that send goosebumps across my skin and make me imagine what all those skilled hands are possible of. I want more—no—need it.
I was supposed to push him away and it only makes me want to pull him closer.
“Daisy!”
“Hmm?” My eyes refocus around the table where all eyes are on me. Damn it! “Sorry, I was thinking about a new recipe idea.” The lie easily slips from my lips.
“I can’t wait to see what you come up with next,” my grandpa believes me.
The silent chuckling from my grandma and aunt has my eyes widening in their direction. They know something is up. I don’t know how, but the look on their faces as their eyes flicker between me and Ethan tell me all I need to know.
“So, what’s going on here?” Andrew gestures between me and Ethan.
“Nothing.”
“We’re together,” says Ethan at the same time.
“Since when?” My cousin questions.
“We’re just hanging out. As friends.” I correct.
I feel Ethan’s hand squeeze my legs under the table, harder.
“We’re taking things slow.” He chuckles next to me.
“We’ve sure missed having you around,” my grandfather says.
I swallow and move Ethan’s hand from my leg. “And on that note, what’s the game tonight?” I’m determined to get away from this table and Ethan. Game night typically happens in the living room and I can claim a seat away from him.
“How about the new card one?” My aunt suggests.
“Dad threw the cards across the room last time,” Uncle Beau shakes his head with a laugh.
I really don’t want to sit at this table and play cards. The game they’re talking about will at least require the use of both hands. It wouldn’t surprise me if Ethan finds a way.
No sooner than the thought had entered my mind did I feel his hand move across the back of my chair, his fingers grazing my back. It’s slow and deliberate. I’m burning up and need to step away.
“Yeah, I’ll grab it.” I jump up from my seat and head down the hall to the game closet.
It’s not much, but it’ll give me two minutes of not being in the same room as him. Two minutes where he’s not at my side and I don’t feel his touch, his eyes on me, or the way the heat radiates from his body and warms mine.
I let out a shaky breath and open the door.
My eyes scan over the cluttered shelves with the massive collection of games.
My grandparents started their collection when they first got married, a few special decks of cards from their honeymoon.
As my dad and uncle came into the picture, more card games and board games were added to the closet.
My mom and aunt entered the scene, and more games were added.
After my cousins and I came into the picture, it’s no wonder why this closet is bursting at the seams with every game imaginable. A closet full of memories.
My eyes land on the new card game and I reach forward to grab it, but not before I feel the all too familiar heat at my back. I swallow as I feel his breath at my neck, then my ear.
“I was afraid you got lost in here,” he mutters. His fingers brush down my sides.
“Nope.” I shake my head and quickly grab the new card game. “Found them.”
He steps closer, pressing himself against my backside. “Damn, there are even more games in here than the last time I saw. I didn’t think anymore could fit.”
I quickly shut the door and turn to face him. “Yeah. Okay, let’s go and play.”
His arms cage me in. “Do you want to play, baby?” His eyes dance with mischief.
Yes. My stomach flips at the thought. I want to get out of here with him, but I can’t give in yet. I am a strong, independent woman. Damn, it! All I can think about is taking Ethan back to my house, but right now, it feels like he’s the one in control.
For the past seven years, I’ve been in control. At least, it felt like it. All of these subtle touches are making it hard. I need to be in control, but I feel like I’m about to crumble and cave. I have to fight back at his own game.
“Yeah.” I trace a finger down the center of his chest, stopping at his belt, and swallow before looking up at him. “Cards.” I grin as I hold up the deck and slip away from him and back down the hall to my family.
Once I’m back at the table, I shuffle the cards and deal them for the first round. Ethan slips into his seat next to me as I finish, his knee brushing against mine under the table.
It shouldn’t affect me like this, but everything about him lights my skin on fire. Every touch is far from accidental and judging from the way his jaw clenches, those touches have been getting to him, too.
Good.
I try to focus on the game. We draw and discard cards around the table until the next round begins.
Everyone is laughing and chatting, but I’m doing all I can to stay focused on the game and not the way Ethan’s fingers are holding his own cards. I didn’t realize how into hands I would be, but his are beautiful.
Strong hands with long fingers I want all over me.
“Daisy,” my aunt’s voice comes across the fog. “You’re awfully quiet tonight.”
I smile softly. “Just a little tired. I’ve been trying out new recipes and planning out stuff for this week for the farm stand. It’s going to be a busy few days.”
“Only one more round.” My grandma laughs as she places her cards down.
“Oh, come on.” Andrew groans as he looks at his own cards.
“I’m in it to win it,” says Grandma.
“You can’t take it easy on your grandkids?” Andrew shakes his head.
“You’re a grown ass man. How would that be fair?” Grandpa laughs across the table.
The conversation carries on, but my mind is elsewhere. Even when I look at all the cards in front of me, they go out of focus. I can feel his eyes on me. I glimpse Ethan out of the corner of my eyes and see the smirk.
Time to end this game
I focus on this round, willing it to end as soon as possible. My aunt, who starts placing her cards down on the table, answers my prayers.
“Game over,” she cheers and dances in her seat.
Everyone takes their turn placing down their last cards while Grandma tallies up the totals to declare the winner, most likely herself.
It takes a few more minutes to say goodbye before I’m able to make my escape. I’m not normally in a hurry to leave our family day at my grandparents. I’ve definitely stayed longer.
Ethan is on my tail as I round the corner of the porch and take off down the steps and towards the golf cart. My butt is barely on the seat when I start it and back up to head across the property to my house.
Thunder sounds nearby and I can feel the static in the air.
The smell of rain coming fills my lungs when I take a deep breath.
We’re long overdue for some rain. It’s been so dry lately.
This summer was hotter and dryer than usual and it hasn’t changed since we entered fall, or as fall as we can get here in Texas.
Ethan chuckles next to me as he grabs the bar above his head. “Damn, who taught you how to drive like this?”
I ease my foot off the gas, slowing the speed. “I’m sorry. I assumed we were both ready to get out of there.”
“Daisy,” his voice comes out, almost like a warning.
It’s the exact amount of ice down my spine I need. “I’ll take my time.” I sit up a little straighter and do just that. I need the extra moment so I’m not rushing things. “Since we have all this time, let’s talk about what made you decide to come back to Sage Creek?”
It starts to sprinkle, but I don’t increase my speed.
He doesn’t respond right away, the silence speaks for itself.
My heart feels like it drops into my stomach when I realize I could be starting something.
I don’t normally like confrontation, but he’s bringing it out of me.
I liked my happy little bubble from before.
Maybe I was ignorant or avoided life, but I was happy.
Fuck, maybe it would be better if I push him away. If he leaves, I can think more clearly. He can go home and I can take care of myself. I don’t need a man. I don’t need him. I’ve been just fine for the last seven years.
Fucking fine.
“It’s not always up to the player, we have to go where we can if we want to keep playing.” He sighs.
“Right.” I nod. “You could just as easily still be where you were before.” I pul up to the house and park under the carport. “Or be traded somewhere else entirely.”
“Yeah,” he growls out.
I don’t bother to see if he’s following me as I walk towards the porch. The rain starts slow as I pick up my pace. Only, I hesitate before I can get to the door.
“Why did you tell Andrew we were together?” I stare up at him and cross my arms.
He smiles and steps closer. “We are.”
I shake my head.
“No?” His brow raises in disbelief. “Tell me you don’t feel this.” He steps closer. “That you feel nothing.” His hands move to the side of my face. I feel fingers pressing against the back of my neck and his thumb tracing along my jaw. “You think this was ever really over?”
I swallow, my resolve weakening. No words come out. I can’t say anything, I can’t admit my feelings. So I do the only thing I can think of, I tell the truth about that day. It has to push him away.
“It’s nothing but lust.” The lie slips out. “It never would’ve worked out between us.”
“That’s fucking bull shit and you know it,” he argues.
I shake my head and step back. His hands fall from my face, but he takes a step closer. I can’t let him in. My heart and mind battle, wanting to take a chance but not wanting to risk it. I need to keep him at arm’s length. I need to tell him the truth.
“There was never anyone else, Ethan.”
“What?” With a puzzled look on his face, he pulls back. “What are you talking about?”
I close my eyes and let it all come out. “That weekend I was supposed to come and visit. I lied. I didn’t meet anyone else.”
“What the fuck, Daisy?”
“It was never going to work. It wasn’t real.” I open my eyes to see him back away.
He storms off down the stairs, then comes back up. His mouth opens to say something, then he moves down the stairs again. He paces a few more times.
I watch as he walks across the lawn to his truck. The rain picks up, but he doesn’t hurry to climb in. He hesitates at the door, his hands unmoving.
“I’m sorry,” I yell over the rain.
He turns, his lips move, but I can’t hear what he says over the sound of the rain.
I’m sorry I broke both of our hearts. I’m sorry I couldn’t be honest with you.
It was for your own good. I want to say the words out loud, but I physically can’t.
All I can do is watch him walk away. Part of me hopes he’ll come over here and we can talk about it, but part of me doesn’t. I don’t want to say those words.
When he finally slips into his truck and moves to pull away, I know it’s finally over.
This is it. I stand on the porch watching his truck drive down my driveway toward the main road.
It’s growing dark and I see the tail lights round the corner around a cluster of trees.
I break as soon as I can’t see his truck anymore, knowing he’s headed towards the gate.
This is always how it was supposed to be.
The tears start slowly as I move inside and step out of my boots.
It feels worse this time. I rub my chest; I didn’t know a heart could physically ache like this.
It wasn’t even his choice. I remind myself.
It’s not as if he came back to Sage Creek because he wanted to.
He got traded. It was never a second chance. It was a cruel trick from fate.
In the end, he deserved to know the truth. Even if it really pushed him away forever. I just wasn’t expecting it to hurt like this. As if I’d held out hope all of these years. Now, it really was too late. The truth was out there and he was gone.