Chapter Thirteen
ETHAN
Her red wavy hair has fallen from her messy bun, framing her heart-shaped face. I have the urge to tuck some of those pieces behind her ear and pull her close. But if I pull her close, I’ll never be able to let go. I wouldn’t want to. Fuck, I don’t want to.
Our gazes lock. I’m under her spell, and she’s oblivious. I was always captivated by her mesmerizing blue eyes. Dark and light blues swirling together.
I can’t resist any longer. My hand reaches out slowly. I tuck a loose strand behind her ear. The touch is light, but it feels like fireworks in the silence. Her lips part in a silent gasp. For a moment, it’s as if everything outside of us ceases to exist.
She swallows, her gaze flickering with uncertainty.
I can feel everything building between us.
I want to lean in and press my lips to hers, but I can’t.
That first day had been such a shock, I couldn’t help myself.
Then last night, the look she’d given me.
Even now, the pull is undeniable. But I need her to want me as much as I want her.
With a gentle smile, I take a step back.
Her eyes, shadowed by dark lashes, looked up at me, pleading for me to make the first move.
I can see her fighting it. It would be too easy to throw her over my shoulder and run around town with her, mark my claim.
Never have I felt so primal, so caveman-like, as I do around her.
She licks her lips, and I swallow back a groan.
We can’t rush this. I won’t risk losing her again.
And I can see it on her face, the struggle.
She wants me to make a move, but I can also see how easy it would be for her to push me away and make a run for it.
To deny the obvious. No, I’ll take this slow.
The next time my hands are on her, it’s over.
Daisy has always been petite, but these curves.
Fuck, I want to caress them with my hands and lips.
I want to worship every beautiful inch of this woman.
She doesn’t know it, but I’m hers. Always and forever.
Those feelings never went away. They were just buried, and poorly at that.
There is no way in hell I’m letting her get away again.
Every breath I take feels like it’s weighing me down with her scent. My chest heaves too quickly. Daisy is standing just two feet away, with her gorgeous eyes, luscious lips, and a body that commands worship. I have a strong urge to reach out. I’m aching to bridge the gap between us.
She made her intentions known last night, but I’d stopped us from going further. Her confusion and inner turmoil were clear as soon as she walked up onto her porch. I can’t let her remain confused about our relationship. I’m not going anywhere, not without her. Never again.
I didn’t fight for her back then, but I sure as hell would now. She was never getting away from me again. At the first opportunity, I’d have a ring on her finger, my last name as hers, and a baby in her belly. I didn’t even care what order it happened; I just wanted it all.
With a shaky breath, I step forward. Then she does the same.
Fucking keep it together, man! I shout at myself.
My hand reaches out for her. “Let’s go for a walk.”
It’s the only thing I can think to do, because by being outside, I know we risk being seen. I’m hoping that will keep me from kissing her again. She needs to make the first move time.
Her familiar scent wraps around me as she warily takes my hand.
Warm and sweet, like cinnamon rolls on a crisp autumn morning.
I feel like a wimp, the way her scent steadies me and grounds me.
There must be something wrong with me. I prefer to take control, but at this moment, she has all of it. I need her to, so I don’t.
We walk in silence. There were many times we’d taken walks on this property while in school. Memories of sneaking out into denser areas of the ranch to make-out fill my mind and I chuckle.
“What’s so funny?” Daisy asks.
“I was thinking about all the times we’ve been out here. Walking around like this. Running around.”
She laughs. “Yeah.”
We stroll at a leisurely pace. I should probably say something, but words escape me. I simply enjoy being near her and I know I can’t tell her, not yet.
The cooler breeze picks up, bringing a chill to the air. Daisy shivers next to me and I curse myself. I should’ve thought to grab her a jacket or something.
“Let’s head back. You can change and then we’ll head over to your grandparents.”
“Okay.” She releases my hand and leads the way.
That wasn’t my intention. For her to let go. Do I grab her hand? The decision is made for me when she picks up her pace and takes the steps two at a time. She leaves the front door open for me, better than slamming it in my face.
Fuck, I’m already screwing this up.
I can hear her mumble as she takes the steps. I’m confident that she’s cursing my name as she grumbles her way upstairs to her room. This feels weird, but I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t date. I haven’t put in any effort since her.
I walk into the living room. It feels like I’m stepping back in time as I take everything in. The same assortment of art and family photos hang on the old wood-paneled walls. A few photos and knickknacks decorate the mantle. My eyes hesitate over the large family photo of Daisy with her parents.
Instantly I know there isn’t a more recent photo in the room, and that fact made me sad.
Daisy looked so young and carefree. The smiles reached the eyes of all three of them in this one.
I remember when this photo was taken. I’d shown up shortly after to take her to the movies that night.
A new dystopian teen movie had just come out, and she said she needed to see it.
Of course I took her to see it. Anything she needed. Anything she wanted. I wanted to be the one who provided for her. Needed to be the one—on some instinctual level, I never quite understood until recently.
Daisy Miles was always meant to be mine.
I should’ve been there for her. She ended things, but I still cared back then.
Fuck, even her cousin, Andrew, should’ve let me know what was going on.
If I knew her dad was sick then, I would’ve helped however I could.
The idea of her meeting someone and then him leaving her right when she needed someone only pissed me off even more.
Didn’t she know she didn’t need to do it all alone?
I would’ve been there for her, at least as her friend. I can’t even imagine how her mom felt.
Watching Daisy’s parents together, it was just like watching her grandparents, and Andrew’s parents. It was this beautiful, deep love. The way they all loved and cared for one another was visible. The way they laughed and genuinely enjoyed the other’s company. It was something out of this world.
To see that growing up and then watch your father die, I can only imagine what Daisy felt about losing her father and watching her mother lose her husband. It would be heartbreaking. It would be a reason to push someone away. Part of me wondered if that’s why she seems hesitant.
“Okay, I’m changed.” Daisy spoke behind me.
I turned around and slowly take in her outfit. This isn’t much better than the little dresses she wore. Skin tight leggings and a large sweater that hangs off one of her shoulders.
“Can I drive the golf cart?” I tease.
She laughs. “Maybe if you’re a good boy, I’ll let you drive it back.” She winks and turns to head towards the door.
Fuck.
As she turns around, I see the peek of a tattoo on the back of her shoulder. “When did you get a tattoo? What is it?” I never pictured her with one. She showed no desire to get one when we were younger, not that people don’t change.
“It’s just some wild flowers.” She slips into her boots and opens the door. “Let’s go.”
“Okay.” It seems there’s more to it than that, but now doesn’t seem like the time she wants to get into it.
Often, when people get their first tattoo, it’s something special and memorable.
I can’t help but wonder if it was something in honor of her father or family.
It made the most sense. I only got a peek at it, but I wondered how large the piece was.
Then I started wondering if she had other tattoos and where they might be if she did.